Nobody to care for older children for babies' birth - any suggestions?

[Kelly1978]

Hi,

I'm 28 weeks pg with twins, my due date seems to be rushing towards me and I have a bit of a dilema.

I moved to Croydon in the summer, and I don't have much support here. I really want my dp to be at the birth of our babies, and he wants to be there too. The problem is that I have a dd (4) and ds(2) from my prev relationship, and nobody to care for them.

We were going to have a home birth, so we wouldn't have needed childcare, but now we know it is twins, this is out of the question.

Has anybody been in a similar situation? Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

[Kelly1978]

I'm looking into childminders and doulas now, and feel far happier that we will be able o find a solution. I can't make any firm plans until a few more weeks when I know whether we a going for a vaginal birth/csection. The babies seem to love turning somersaults several times a day now, so I guess it's 50/50 whether they go ceph or breech

Hi to all the people nearby me, though I'm afraid postal areas don't mean a lot to me! I'm still new to London, I only just realised today that London numbers have 8 digits in them. pregnancy is def nt good for the brain!!

[fisil]

Kelly, there are several SW London mums on the due in May thread. I guess you are due in April, but you would be very welcome to come onto our thread and make friends - even if none of us are in a position to help you with the birth (I'm in SW20, so I'm probably a bit far away) we will be able to help out in other ways (and vice versa!)

[Lonelymum]

Never knew what a doula was until I saw the link below. What a marvellous service. Looks like it could be what you need Kelly. Wish I could help (used to live in Gipsy Hill) and hope you get something sorted soon. Would be a good idea to let whoever you use have contact with your children before the big day - and it would give you a break too!

[velcrobott]

friend is in cambridge but what about this lady

[Kelly1978]

Velcrobott - thanks, where did your friend find her doula then?

[Kelly1978]

I sent the message, hope it goes thru! I'm really looking for someone to cover the labour and birth at short notice, and maybe a few sessions in the following days to give me and my partner some time together.
The babies should be born around mid march, and I'm not far from west croydon station.
Thank you!

[velcrobott]

Sorry - should say a friend of mine did hire a doula whilst she went to have her baby... so I know they do that too.

[velcrobott]

They charge £10/h

[serenity]

Hi Kelly, click on 'contact another talker' at the top of the screen and follow the instructions.

If you let me know an approximate date, how long (ie poss an over night plus however many days?) and where you are. I know it's for a 4 and 2 yr old.

I'll pass it around, and see if anyone is able to help

[Kelly1978]

I looked at doulas on a website, and they seemed to be charging upwards of £2-300 and aimed at care for the mother and newborns, a lot of money and not really what I need.

[velcrobott]

I would also suggest a doula

[Kelly1978]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I'm looking into them. I already use sitters.co.uk for evening babysitting, but I didn't think they would provide care at short notice, I will try asking.

Starlover, I could try pushing for a homebirth, but I wouldn't really want to take the risk now I know it is twins.

Fimbo, I am seriously considering a c section, as it looks like the babies are going to be big, and since it is twins I do seem to have that choice. I would rather have an elective c-section than an emergency one, so if there are any risks at all I am going to ask for one.

I will try to contact you serenity, although I'm not sure how it works!

[motherinferior]

I do know what you mean - I went out of my mind worrying when I was expecting DD2.I reckon you have to think of childcare with a home birth anyway - there's always the possibility you might end up going to hospital (DD2 was a home birth).

I'd think about a doula.

[Fimbo]

I was in this situation and opted for an elective c-section although the local hospital took a dim view of this and the consultant said "SOCIAL"
reasons weren't a good enough reason to warrant a c-section and that it was our problem we didn't have childcare!!! Anyway I did have a section and dh took dd to school in the morning, came back to the hospital, I had ds then collected dd from school at 3pm to meet her baby brother. The irony is I have since made fantastic friends through my local mother and toddler group who would have had my daughter at the drop of a hat.

Good Luck whatever you decide to do.

[teabelly]

... www.sitters.co.uk is another site that offer babysitting services with registered sitters and they do nights/overnights - may be abit expensive, but they may be able to help if the local searches don't bring up anything...

[starlover]

why can't you have a homebirth with twins if they think it's going to be a normal delivery???

[serenity]

I know quite a few childminders in the Addiscombe/South Norwood part of Croydon. If you CAT me with some more details I can ask around and see anyone is in the position to help.

[Petesmum]

Haven't had the time to read all this thread but a friend of mine asked our childminder / nursery if they'd look after Ben for a couple of days & nights. It worked out OK because the nursery is run from the owners home. Is this an option ?

[Blu]

SimplyChildcare
Although you do pay for the listings mag, you then negotiate pay directly with the provider and [pay no agency fee or commission or anything. There are nannies / au pairs looking for extra hours etc etc.

[Hulababy]

Sorry link here

[Blu]

Kelly - with two kids and twins on the way, if you can afford it, it might be really good to have someone who can help you out for a couple of weeks before and after the new babes arrrive, too - it's going to be pretty full on, isn't it? Someone to help take dd to nursery or whatever, and get to know them before the new arrivals arrive.

[Hulababy]

I know this is pribably no use at all to you :link{V\here} but it shows that there are such places offering emergency childcare around.