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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Why are so many women anti c-section?

359 replies

jivegirl · 11/05/2008 21:46

Despite planning a peaceful waterbirth at home, I ended up having a very scary OP/ventouse delivery with my daugher nearly 2 years ago (delayed second stage, retained placenta, 3rd degree tear, plus internal tearing which had not healed after 6 months and required cauterising)

I have been offered a C-section and will see the consultant again to make my decision in just over a week. At present (35wks) bump is transverse, so the decision to have a section may yet be taken out of my hands. However part of me is secretly hoping the baby stays transverse so I don't have to justify having a section.

I can't understand why so many women seem to be anti-sections. It seems admitting a preference for a section is almost taboo.
I still get horrific flashbacks to delivering my daughter and can't think of anything worse than going through that again (my DP rates it as the most traumatic day of his life!! ) The thought of a calm, planned c-section sounds like bliss. Am I being naive?

I should also say that I will have excellent support from friends and family to help me cope with caring for an active toddler and a newborn in the weeks that follow - so I am sure I am luckier than many..

Would love to hear some opinions on this ladies!

OP posts:
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scottishmummy · 15/05/2008 08:57

i see mum and baby i think awww and hope both are okay.never crossed my mind to wonder mode of arrival, actually no one else business

the desired outcime is safe delivery live baby and live mummy

women should have the choice and be empowered to decide how their baby arrives without being made to feel one route is preferential to the other

there is a inference that unless it was analgesia free,minimum intervention, done squatting chanting a incantation that some how one is less woman, less mother

when did we lose the plot and begin to compete over mode of arrival

sheesh

Mikafan · 15/05/2008 13:08

HK78, my DS1 has right side hemiplegia after a long labour too.

PosieParker · 15/05/2008 16:40

The two most irrating questions for a new mum: Did you have it naturally? and Are you breastfeeding?

fabsmum · 15/05/2008 17:00

"The two most irrating questions for a new mum: Did you have it naturally? and Are you breastfeeding?"

... but not quite as bad as 'when are you due then?' or 'is he/she a good baby?' (usually meaning is she/he feeding for 10 minutes every four hours and sleeping through the night at 3 days old......)

nellyraggbagg · 15/05/2008 18:29

Jivegirl - I had a similar experience with DS (and still suffer now, six years on, both physically and emotionally). Had DD by "elective" c-section 2 yrs after DS, and it was the right thing for me. Hospital registrar said it would be my fault if the baby and I both died, as c-sections were so risky; I complained to his consultant, who said I had about a 10 percent chance of a natural delivery following all the damage of the first one, and when would I like to book the c-section for?

No, it's not for everyone - but I'm glad to this day that I didn't go through that again...

nellyraggbagg · 15/05/2008 18:30

PS DS's birth was supposed to be a home birth, so I'm all for natural births - just not for me again!!

Youcannotbeserious · 15/05/2008 22:47

Fabsmum!!

If anyone asks me if I had DS naturally, I'll tell them that he didn't fall from the sky!!!

As for breastfeeding: I think I'll answer: Not at this particular moment, no.. (unless I AM, in which case I think it would be fair to answer 'Is you a bit fick!?'

I'm really over an guilt now. I'm doing what's right for me. I wouldn't try to judge anyone else and don't expect to be judged.

spikejack · 16/05/2008 09:37

I have a dilemma (which may not end up being a dilemma if the decision is taken out of my hands!) but I'm due to give birth today(!!) and I managed to crack a rib a week ago.

As you can imagine, moving, lifting and taking a deep breath in / out is very painful (and often so painful that I can't quite manage it!) and I'm concerned about my delivery.

I had a very straight forward delivery with my DS1 2 and a half years ago so I'm wondering if I'll be given a CS (although I'm terrified of this and am very keen to see how I get on without one first). I can't imagine going through labour and being unable to actually catch my breath!

Its such a shame as I've been doing ante-natal yoga for the last 3 months and it also got me through my 1st labour too and I felt quite confident that I had the whole breathing thing under control.

I'm hoping that the adrenaline of birth might kick in and I won't notice the pain??!! or that gas and air might make things a bit easier

I know that it could be much worse in the grand scheme of things and that a cracked rib is nothing compared to what some people have to go through, but I'm nervous now!!

Then theres the logistical nightmare of holding the baby afterwards when I'm struggling to grate a block of cheese at the moment!! (You'd be amazed at how many muscles that takes until you actually need to do it and then you find that its excrutiating!!)

ClareyP · 16/05/2008 10:24

This discussion is great as I'm sure many people having c/s myself included have this niggling sadness for not having gone through the 'natural birth experience' and feel a little out of place when mums compare their labour pains with each other!
However after a horrible 1st c/s experience, crash section wondering if my d/s was dead or alive, he's 3 and half now and fine, I elected after lots of thought to have a c/s with my 2nd only 16 months later as I couldn't bear the thought of going through the previous experience and I just wanted my baby delivered safely. I did a bit of research and there are documents with suggestions how to have a GOOD C/S EXPERIENCE, including choosing music and asking the surgeon to show you your baby immediately it is delivered, so important that was for me after not seeing my 1st son for hours. Also I managed to breastfeed within half an hour lying on my side and continued to feed my d/s 2 till he was nearly 2 years old, I think that made up for not having a natural delivery for me.

Nursejo · 16/05/2008 10:45

As has been said before,I am of the mind that as long as Mum and Baby are well,the mode of delivery is immaterial.Yes we'd all like to do "it" oour chosen way,and within reason,alot of people achieve this.But i have had 3 children,2 of which were very traumatic "Normal Deliveries" ??, aided with Forceps and Ventouse Suction,and my 3rd was a planned Caesarian,which i had "avoided" where possible with the previous ones,and it was my best experience yet! procedure was fine,lovely staff,and although my DD2 went straight onto the resuscitaire,i was shown here at the earliest possible moment that was safe for her,and Recovery was great.At the end of the day,I'm just thankful to have 3 healthy children,and I'm still here to enjoy them.

LadyThompson · 16/05/2008 10:47

ClareyP, so how DO you have a good c/s experience? I know it's probably a lot down to personal taste but I am having one so any tips (or links) very welcome...

Nursejo · 16/05/2008 10:54

Some people request for the sex of the baby not to be disclosed until the mother sees the baby first,having your baby given to you for a hug at the earliest possible moment is nice,I found this difficult as my hands werent assessible,what with drips and things,so she was laid cheek to cheek with me,and then my DH held her.Music is nice if offered.make sure when you return to the ward,that you keep moving up and around the bed,if like me, the MW wants you to have a bath in the afternoon,after delivery,request painkiller,wait half hour then get moving.The mums that seem to have the most problem are those that lie still and are frightened to move for the whole day.Once you get moving,you'll be surprised what you can do! I got in and out of the bath alone,and wandered around the ward,every couple of hours.It helped me anyway.Good luck.

LadyThompson · 16/05/2008 11:01

That's brilliant nursejo, I would like to try to move around afterwards but not really sure what is possible. A bath in the afternoon sounds good but I guess you can't get the wound or your stitches wet! Also I am hoping the painkillers you get are nice, strong ones...I doubt paracetamol are gonna cut it.

Cordy · 16/05/2008 11:08

I think women should be informed of all the pros and cons of different ways of delivering their babies and then allowed to choose what they feel is best for them. And when I say should be informed, I don't mean what we were glibly told by the midwife at my antenatal class (in response to someone bringing up the fact she was scared of the pain of childbirth), that contractions aren't painful!!!

What I find really hard to understand is why most people start becoming judgmental the second a woman becomes pregnant. To me, it's as if the world thinks it's entitled to give you their opinion (i.e. TELL you what you SHOULD and shouldn't be doing) at all times, which is incredibly irritating. It's been happening to me since my first pregnancy. In my opinion, the general tendency at the moment is to demonise those women who choose to have a caesarean, or bottle feed, or give their children dummies. I have a 3-year-old and still regularly see the mums and children from his babygroup. Lovely as they all are, those of us who had caesareans still find ourselves having to 'justify' them to the other mums and everyone else besides. Mine was emergency - I would have had an elective if I could have done but I still feel that I couldn't possibly admit to that to most people I know!!! I agree with the poster above who said that a propaganda war is being waged.

Things can go wrong with any surgery but my personal experience with a c-section was fantastic - quick and easy, and had no problems recovering. Second time round I'm definitely going for an elective. Yes, it can go wrong, but I'm prepared to take that risk.

Lastly, my DH is incredibly squeamish and I'm also worried about how he'll react (i.e. whether he'll faint) with my second birth (he missed the first as it happened prematurely and v v fast) but am happy to report that there were no weird smells or noises or sights of viscera and internal organs with my c-section. Still, a friend had a terribly difficult and long labour and her husband fainted as they decided to take her into surgery, so they made her walk, exhausted, to the operating room and wheeled him in on her wheelchair instead, so I'm sure fainting partners are well looked after!!!

Highlander · 16/05/2008 11:14

when I was pregnant and a PFB, I used to love telling people I was having an elec CS when they were asking their nosey Q's. Ahhh, the look on their faces when I told I really was too posh to push

Cordy · 16/05/2008 11:20

Highlander, I might try your tactic this time! Instead of fudging the issue when asked and worrying about being judged, I ought to try being more honest - I can't stand having to defend what is a very personal choice, but being open and upfront is probably the best option!

LadyThompson · 16/05/2008 11:21

Glad to hear no weird noises or smells as my dp is phobic about blood and guts and he has been fretting. Yes, it's so depressing when people are demonised in such a fashion - I was bottlefed and had a dummy (at home) until I was FOUR (runs for cover) - I gave it up myself the day I started school...I've got straight teeth, no allergies or health problems, I'm reasonably brainy...On the other hand my Mum had me at home with no pain relief and she still claims to this day it didn't even hurt

Cordy · 16/05/2008 11:32

My DH is so squeamish that he passes out regularly when he has blood tests and starts squirming if you just SAY the word 'vein'. Of course I feel it's my duty to say 'vein' to him from time to time just to annoy him.

DashingRedhead · 16/05/2008 11:59

Jivegirl, I've come to this late and not read the whole thing, but I would agree that you need to think about what's best for you. Every birth experience is different and every woman is different. I found my section incredibly hard to get over physically, but I find even minor surgery difficult. The one thing I wanted to avoid was a cs because I was more frightened of that than the pain of labour (though I was a bit wussy about that too!).

I was just about to go into too much detail about my own birth experience which was long and ended in a section but that's not what you need to know. I had a section and a slow recovery and one of my friends had a vb with forceps and an even slower recovery. As others have said, there is absolutely no way of avoiding some degree of pain, depends on when and I know lots of people who say they'd rather have a tidy cs scar than the messy undercarriage. All depends on you.

Don't let anyone pressurise you.

Nursejo · 16/05/2008 12:25

ladythompson,They put a waterproof dressing over the wound,so theres no need to worry.As for Painrelief,I had the Epidural ofcourse,and the Anaesthetist noticed me "grimacing" so offered to put me out,or give me something stronger,I wasnt in pain,but was uncomfortable,I asked if I could have some Gas and Air,(love the stuff), so they gave me that which was great,as I was then high as a kite! back on the ward,they gave me a strong painkiller at 4.30pm( I came back at 11.am) and I had a lovely bath at 5pm.I can honestly say I didnt have any "pain" as such,just uncomfortable "muscular discomfort" around my middle,which wasnt much different to a normal delivery,when your muscles need to tone up again,and you cant cough/laugh easily. HTH.

DonDons · 16/05/2008 12:28

Jivegirl - in answer to your original question, IME and based on the views of the people I know only, those that have had a vaginal birth come across as 'anti-CS' and those that have had a CS are the opposite.

One of my friends put it more succinctly, she had an e-CS with DS1 and was terrified of VBAC because she knew what a CS (and the recovery) involved and felt she could cope better with an elective CS for DS2. Her cousin had vaginal births with all 3 daughters and was equally terrified of needing a CS, again because of her previous experiences.

Personally, I had a CS after failing to progress - was induced, became fully dilated after 15 hours of labour and then had 1 1/2 hours of pushing. (I started on etonox but had an epi after 4 hours). DD was absolutlely fine all the way through. I was discharged 48 hours later. I have probably been very lucky but if we have another child I will opt for an elective.

Whatever happens to you - best of luck.

JackieW4 · 16/05/2008 14:49

I had an emergency c-section, and was worried about the recovery times as there always seems to be such bad press about c-sections. I'm also not very good at operations/needles etc

But i was amazed at how well it went and how well i was after. Sometimes i think it's what frame of mind your in. I wanted to breastfeed my baby (which i am, he's 8 weeks old today)so i just got on with it, it's whether you want to lie in the hospital for days not moving about or you want to get over it as soon as possible. I was only in the hospital for 2 nights. I wanted to get home to my own bed and i also couldn't sleep well in hospital, too noisy for me!
I would elect for a c-section IF we have another child, for me, much quicker, and easier.
Best wishes

eml71 · 16/05/2008 16:09

Dear JiveGirl,
Good luck with your decision. I too had an emergency c-section and I'm grateful that I have a healthy baby. I think if you need to take advantage of the medical developments, such as c-sections, you should do so guilt free! They were invented to help people, and like anything can be 'abused' I suppose, but that shouldn't worry you.
I wanted a 'hippy' naturual water birth with candles and the works, and had it all sorted [or SO i thought] with an independent midwife and an anticipated lovely experience, hoping to be on my feet the next day ... Well, I gave birth/was operated on in a crummier than average NHS hospital, and had a VERY hard time getting settled in breast feeding, but am still content with the way things turned out.
The operation was a relief after the build up to it, worrying how my daughter was coping, and the woman surgeon was LOVELY and I am very pleased with my tiny scar.
If you do have a c-section you might want to try and find a lactation expert to help with the early days of breast feeding. That is something I did after a few weeks, but might have saved myself some grief if I'd done sooner. I wish you all the best.

Kamagrian · 16/05/2008 20:00

I've been reading this thread with some interest, and sometimes a sense of sadness. I think in some ways we're missing the point here...that being, WHY as a society are we now so unconfident in our own bodies, and so untrusting about our ability to birth children and get through the experience just fine (in a normal childbirth, I mean!), that some of us would rather have major abdominal surgery than just go ahead and do it?

That doesn't mean, by the way, that I'm dissing ANYONE for her own informed choice, but I do sometimes wonder how much of it is simply borne of fear. I agree that a traumatic previous birth can make a very good medical case for elective caesarian delivery, as (for one thing) an excess of adrenaline during labour can slow the whole thing down and even sometimes stop it altogether. But there are specific risks to any surgery, and some specific to c-section, that have personally convinced me I would only ever want to go through that as a last resort.

For instance, a baby born by c-section is more likely to experience breathing difficulties (due to the process of vaginal birth squeezing excess fluid from the lungs), and it's thought that the act of waiting for the baby to go through the hormonal and other changes it does before being 'ready' to be born has a positive effect on its endocrine response too. There is also a known higher risk of stillbirth in later pregnancies, partly due to an increased incidence of placental problems such as placenta praevia or placenta accreva.

For the mother, there's an increased risk of postnatal infection, adhesions and so on, as well as the normal risks inherent with any major surgery (DVT, for instance). Despite comments about the fear of urinary incontinence following a vaginal birth, current research suggests that there isn't any significantly increased long-term risk of this for most women, and that most cases can be remedied by postnatal pelvic floor exercises to boot.

Of course there are risks to vaginal childbirth, but for the average woman with no pressing medical reason for a c-section, it's statistically the less risky option. It doesn't work out for everyone - I have a friend who needs a caesarian in a couple of weeks, despite having planned for a vaginal delivery - but I do feel sad that so many women seem to feel they couldn't handle birth without surgery. To be honest, I think it's a symptom of a wider societal problem rather than an error in any individual woman's thinking.

By the way, none of this is intended to berate anyone's choices on here - it's my opinion and something I've thought about a lot, but I know others will feel very differently. Whatever choice you're making, or have made in the past, I genuinely hope it's the right one for you and your baby.

nellyraggbagg · 16/05/2008 20:01

Oh, it's all coming back to me now...
After having DS, it was as if I'd been in a near-fatal car-crash. I couldn't speak for the following day for the shock of it, never mind walk. I spent 6 days in hospital; I don't think I could move for the first three or so.

With my DD, I was also immobile for the first day - but the difference was astonishing. For one thing, I knew it would hurt - and it did hurt, a lot!! - but also knew that the pain would be localised (which it was), and that it would be gone by 6-8 weeks (well, not quite - but pretty impressive for major surgery). I spent the whole first day post-section cuddling DD as she slept on my chest. If she hadn't been jaundiced, we'd have gone home on day 2; as it was, it was day 3.

What bugged me at the time was the attitude of the staff to elective section patients - they really did have an attitude of "well, you're too posh to push, so we'll be blowed if we're going to help you in any way" - there was just an assumption that you were someone trying to fit childbirth into your busy working life or something like that. Again, v different from DS, when the staff were truly miraculous.

What they didn't tell me in advance is that they won't let you out of hospital until you've done a poo post-section (want to make sure your stitches will withstand a poo). I asked for a double dose of Lactulose to speed up the process, and regretted it!!

Oh, and make sure they give you codeine if you have a section - they are grumpy about it (in case you're an addict ), but it's a darn sight more effective than paracetamol on its own. Paracetamol + codeine + Voltarol is a winning combination!!

I should stress this isn't an attempt to persuade you one way or t'other - you've just got me remembering it all... Good luck whatever you do!