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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Should my DH bring my DS to see me in the hospital after C-section?

30 replies

Suzisushka · 29/12/2024 16:25

I’m scheduled for a planned C-section in February and will likely stay in the hospital for 2–3 days afterwards. My DH will be spending a lot of time at the hospital with me and our newborn. I’m wondering whether it would be a good idea for him to bring once our 3-year-old DS to the hospital to see me and meet his new baby sister, or if it might be better for DS to wait at home until I’m discharged.

What have you done if you were in a similar situation? I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice!

OP posts:

SometimesCalmPerson · 29/12/2024 16:27

My toddler came straight to the hospital as soon as it was allowed when I had my second and I went home that night. I think it’s a nice thing, especially if you’re staying in.

user1474315215 · 29/12/2024 17:02

We looked after my DGD when my DD had a C section with her second child. It was planned, so we knew the timings, and my DD asked us to bring DGD to the hospital as soon as she was back on the ward. It worked really well.

EMary12345 · 29/12/2024 17:15

Dd1 came to the hospital with grandma the evening of dd2 cs. She was always going to be the first visitor and there was no way she wouldn't have wanted to come! Daddy went out to get her and brought her in for half an hour then daddy took her home for the night whilst my mum stayed with me for an hour.

SparkyBlue · 29/12/2024 17:16

On both occasions my older dc came to visit me when I was in hospital and I think it helped out their minds to rest that I wasn't gone anywhere. However on both of those occasions the baby was in nicu so they never met their sibling. Probably different as I had new DC in the nicu but DH didn't spend much time at the hospital as it wasn't necessary so I was happier that he stayed at home with older DC and I got plenty of rest in the hospital

Bobbiepin · 29/12/2024 17:17

DMIL brought DD the day after I'd had DD2 - we insisted she was the first to meet her and find out her name. I wouldn't have wanted to wait until we went home even though we were home that evening (day after birth).

Dd was also worried about me (she's a bit older) so it was reassuring for her to know I was fine.

Lostworlds · 29/12/2024 17:20

My parents brought my toddler to see me about 5 hours after my c section. We had a little toy to give her from the baby and she brought a teddy for her new sibling.
she cuddled into me on the bed and knew she wasn’t allowed to jump on me. I think it made the transition to the baby coming home a lot easier for her.

Bunkbedbunk · 29/12/2024 17:21

I had my second while covid regulations were still strong. Dh was there when DC2 was born (not c section of that makes any difference, I know it was in the OP). Dh visited the next day alone and didn't visit the day after that. I had DC2 late in the evening and they wanted us to stay 2 full additional nights..DH then collected us on day 3 and DC1 met the baby then..
I think he would have been more upset to see me in the hospital and then come home without me. (Just turned 4 at the time)

Dyra · 29/12/2024 17:22

I would have loved for my toddler to come meet me and her new brother in hospital.

Alas, it was still the time of the big C (restrictions were dropped a mere week later), and she (and her grandparents who had dropped everything for nearly 2 weeks to look after her) were not permitted. Nor was I allowed to take my own baby off the ward to go down to see them. I am still very upset about it, even now.

That being said, when she did get to meet him at home, two days later after nursery, it was a beautiful moment where she was in her own environment and well prepared. My DH videoed the entire encounter. The hospital might have overwhelmed her, no matter how excited she was to meet her sibling. But I will never know now.

jackstini · 29/12/2024 18:43

Yes, DH brought dd to see ds a few hours after c-section

There was no way she wasn't going to be the first visitor and feel the most important!

Plus I missed her, she missed me and I would have e hated her to feel pushed out as soon as the new sibling arrived (caveat - I know a few people who could not do this during Covid, but who really wanted to)

Any reason at all why you wouldn't want them to visit?

Snugglemonkey · 29/12/2024 20:48

I stayed one night after my section, my dc1 was holding their new sibling within 2 hours of birth and came to pick us up the next afternoon.

PomOfThPomPom · 29/12/2024 20:53

I have a 3 year gap between mine and Ds1 came to the hospital with my Mum and he met his baby brother there. I think it helped him see I was okay and the baby we had talked to him about was finally here and out of my tummy.

Bumbers · 29/12/2024 20:55

I was in for 2 nights post c section and did not bring DC1 (aged 2) in. They would have wanted me to come home with them at the end if the visit and not understood that I was staying away and couldn't leave with them. They would have gotten upset. So they stayed at home / nursery as normal as possible (although with Daddy/granny/grandad and no mummy) and then met the new baby at home. It was lovely. I am extremely glad I didn't bring them to the hospital!

Bakedpotatoes · 29/12/2024 21:10

My parents brought DC1 to the hospital to see me. I was also discharged the day after my C-section, it wasn't as hard as the first time to be honest, so I recovered at home.

Papergirl1968 · 29/12/2024 21:27

DD was in hospital for six nights before finally having DGD2 by emergency c section. We had been worried that DGD1, 19 months, would be upset at having to leave her mummy but as it turned out we visited every day and she was fine. Most days before the birth we met in the hospital cafe so DD could walk us towards the car park and then sneak away, but even on the ward when they were trying to induce her and after she had given birth, DGD1 was fine with it.
DGD2 was born in the early hours and we visited that afternoon, and the toddler very sweetly tried to shove one of her crisps into the newborn's mouth.

Papergirl1968 · 29/12/2024 21:28

(We hadn't anticipated DD would be in anywhere near that long or have a c section!)

Echobelly · 29/12/2024 21:50

Absolutely DS should come to hospital; my oldest (who was 3 at the time) did as soon as it was possible after my DS was born and it was lovely.

ChimpiestoftheChimps · 29/12/2024 22:08

My DD (admittedly age 6 so a bit older) was brought to the hospital by my mum and MIL as soon as we were allowed - we rang school and got them to let her out early. She was beyond excited to meet her new baby sibling and find out he was brother. She then got to tell her granny and grandma that we had a boy! Absolutely lovely for all of us, I wouldn't have kept her at home for anything!

doodleschnoodle · 29/12/2024 22:10

DD1 came in the next day first thing in the morning (DD2 was delivered about 5pm previous day, so it was far too late by the time we got to ward for any visitors) with my husband and my mum. She was 3 then and so excited to meet her sister! It was lovely ❤️

doodleschnoodle · 29/12/2024 22:11

We went home that same evening so she came back with husband to collect me and was charming the midwives in the corridor, I could hear her chatting away to them before I saw her

Sparklysnowman · 29/12/2024 22:17

DS1 (aged 3) came in to see me when ds2 was born. I was actually up and chatting to the woman in the bed opposite when he arrived.

he ran into the room, saw me, asked "where is he?" - I pointed to the cot on the other side of the room, and he went over and started chatting to ds2. Ignored me totally. Was very sweet.

(Apart from the fact that he was still in his nursery uniform from the night before and absolutely filthy, because now exh was apparently unable to give him a bath or put pyjamas on him, because he didn't know how to...)

PrincessOfPreschool · 29/12/2024 22:19

I was in for a week and my nearly 3yo came everyday for as long as he could handle. He was looked after by Dad/ grandparents but he was still quite angry with me when I came out. Very loving with his siblings but behaviour with me (he must have felt abandoned, poor little chap, I was a SAHM). So, suffice to say, make sure your see him as much as possible in hospital and prioritise him when you're home. Anyone can look after the baby.

LegoHouse274 · 30/12/2024 04:58

I'm surprised to read so many yes-es. I had my third baby a few months ago and didn't have my 6 or 3yo come to visit. I had baby overnight whilst they were sleeping and initially thought I'd be home that same day so didn't think to have them come visit. I did video call them both though.

Unfortunately things didn't pan out as expected and I ended up staying in a further two nights and coming home late PM on the third day. In hindsight now if I knew I'd be in longer, I would have arranged for DH to bring them on the first or second day I think. My 6yo was fine with it all but my 3yo was really perturbed by the separation from me I think. He was fine whilst I was away, but was upset with me and behaving oddly the first week or so after I was back. Id never been apart from him before for even a night though, I guess he probably wouldn't have been bothered if it was normal for him to be away.

That being said, I'm not convinced it actually would have been nice to have him visit. I was in a small bay in a huge hospital, you get one beside chair and that's it. My 3yo is a whirlwind and would have been bored straight away, he's also really loud. So it would probably have been pretty stressful if he visited tbh.

In my bay of 5, a few other women were on their 2nd+ children whilst I was there and only one woman had any of them visit.

Original poster

Suzisushka · 30/12/2024 16:49

Huge thanks for all the answers!!! It seems like no one regrets bringing older siblings to the hospital :)

OP posts:

Haroldwilson · 30/12/2024 16:53

I'd play it by ear and not promise that DC can visit, in case your ward is horrible or you have some complications.

AnnaKing81 · 30/12/2024 17:00

My husband brought my two-year-old in later that day. It's really important for them. What makes you think they shouldn't come?

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