How bad was the pain of labour/giving birth?

[HE96x]

Ftm due in just under 3 weeks so please give it to me as it is lol as I need to be prepared. How bad is the pain really? I do think I have a good pain threshold but by no means am I a superhuman when it comes to pain. I am aiming to go as natural as possible and just get through it on gas and air as i don't want stronger drugs if I can avoid it. I am so far quite complacent about the whole thing, I'm not particularly worried and keep telling myself yes it will be extremely painful but bearable, but.. is the pain bearable? Is it totally doable on just gas and air or am I being unrealistic? And also which was the worst part of the whole process for you, contractions or pushing/ring of fire?

Thanks in advance!

It obviously differs for everyone but I remember a woman on the till in a shop saying beforehand to me it really was okay and in hindsight, having been through it twice, she really was right. I used a mix of gas and air and just breathing. Had average sized babies and needed stitches so don't think I had the world's easiest births. I have no desire to have another baby but I'd actually quite like to give birth again just because it was such an unusual and incredible experience 😂 Much better than the average day.

My first was pretty terrible tbh (you did ask), in total went on for about 36 hours but it can’t have have been as bad as all that as I went on to have number 2 which was actually not nearly as bad. However I realised after the 1st that you don’t get a medal or anything for going through it without proper pain relief, whatever happens you then have to deal with your baby so you might as well have all the drugs available! Remember many countries just give out epidurals as standard. I had remifentanyl second time which made it all so much easier, but i was entirely in control of it, I just got a 30 second shot for each contraction and I realised at the very end that I needed to wean myself off of to push him out, which I did very easily.

I wouldn’t recommend a drug-free birth to anyone. I quite liked the gas and air but I’m not sure it really helped with the pain relief as such.

The thing is every birth is different and there's nothing you can really do to control that - apart from an elective c section.

I had both of mine with no pain relief and used a tens machine. More by circumstance than choice as everything progressed really quickly! For me pushing/ring of fire was the worst part but it's a distant memory and I'm only four years down the line......

Some of the stuff after was much worse for me. Absolutely awful constipation and mastitis was the worst I have ever felt

I feel similar to PP. It was like bad period pain. I managed on the gas and air. The worst part for me was the days before. I kept going in and out of labour and it just felt so long and frustrating (I was way overdue). I was induced in the end. I don't want anymore but I'd happily do the labour again :)

Bad enough that I did it three times and considered a fourth

If it was the worst pain ever the human race would have died out by now

You will be fine

Yes it’s bearable, and doable with just gas and air if that’s what you want. I did it with gas and air the first time and nothing the second time, not by choice. There’s nothing wrong with using more pain relief though so keep an open mind as you may feel differently at the time.

Not bad at all in my case. My first was a whopper and back to back, but I had no drugs or gas and air. So I knew I wouldn’t need anything for number 2 who just popped out easily.

It totally depends from person to person. The pain of contractions is very bad towards the end but you get a little break in between. Pushing baby out hurts like hell too but then it's over and you have a baby. I used to tell myself that women the world over do it every single day therefore I could too

PP is right that after can be worse in some cases

I had an episiotomy, the healing of which (2-6 days after birth) was agony each time I moved.

The contractions phase to me felt like escalating period pains (I have always suffered with severe period pains), it went on for a few hours and then I requested an epidural.

For me it was the hours and hours the pain went on for that made it worse, because you're already tired and drained from that and the real stuff hasn't started yet, and you know that.

I didn't feel like latter stages and pushing because of the epidural, which I'm very glad of!

It is completely different for every woman and you can't guess in advance or even prepare for it. Mine was very bad but I also had a bulging disc in my spine which - did not help- shall we say.

I would say do not go in determined it is going to be a certain way for you. Be prepared for pain relief if you need it. I had an epidural and it was genuinely the best thing ever- so much so that when I did it a second time I insisted right from the start that I wanted one. Don't think you have be a superwoman- a healthy baby and a healthy you hopefully with no long lasting trauma is the aim.

It’s pretty painful when you’re in the middle of it but because it builds up and has a purpose (ie you know exactly what is causing it and what will ‘fix’ it (ie baby being born) it’s tolerable and endorphins build at the same time which means it’s not similar to eg a broken bone. Just be prepared to step up the pain relief as you need it - I had bouncing then added tens machine then added birthing pool then added gas and air, each one as the previous thing stopped being enough to control it. For me the baby was then born shortly after I felt I needed the gas and air (I wouldn’t have had this til I really needed it as it makes me feel sick).

Best thing is to relax as far as possible, go with it and be open to anything if you need it. Resisting the pain / panicking contributes to the need for further intervention and further pain relief needed.

Do not ask people for their stories !! You’ll just hear horrible things. Lots of people have a straight forward birth with pain relief all is well, but you’ll only hear people tell you how awful it is
you’ll have your baby and all will be fine OP. Good luck for now and congratulation’s after 🥳

Every woman is different and every birth is different. I have friends who did it with just gas and air, whereas that really wasn’t enough for me! I had diamorphine which was brilliant and enough, although still some pain there. For others, that isn’t enough and go for an epidural.

The fact is, there are options. Use what you need to to get through it!

Very painful tbh, worst period pains ever multiplied, but worth it for the end result.

What no one ever told me, and was a bit of a shock, is that the pushing bit feels just like being massively constipated and having a huge 💩. I expected the "urge to push" to be felt more towards the front. Subsequent babies were easier, partly because I knew what to expect. Oh, and once the baby is out you have to go through it again and expel the placenta.

Good luck, everyone is different, my DSis sailed through, short labours, "not that bad" 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had no pain. I had an epidural. I do think planning for pain is impossible. You simply don’t know how you will be affected. I had a nap after the epidural was given. I could talk to DH. After you have been in labour for hours and hours and the pain is intense it can be too late for an epidural. I wanted to be calm for the birth of my babies. I heard other women crying and screaming and that was never going to be me. Others say it’s like shelling peas. For most the pain is intense. Great if it doesn’t last long. If it’s 10 hours you might feel differently. I don’t understand why women think pain is good. I bet women with no access to pain relief would jump at the chance. Here we turn our noses up at it.

Horrific.So bad i only did it once.2 days of labour and 1 hour of pushing.

I could have wrote your post as I felt I had a high pain threshold and didn't want string drugs. But then my waters broke and I wasn't having contractions so I had to be induced in every single way there is to be induced. The pain was constant for me and I couldn't tell when I was having contractions. I did opt for pethidine and then epidural. The pain wasn't manageable for me as it was constant.

Eventually I had an emergency c section as there was too much time in-between my waters breaking and giving birth, both I and baby still got sepsis anyway.

I think it's best to go in with an open mind.

Bearable and doable. I only had G&A and kept telling myself "if this is as bad as it gets, I can do this" and I did!

Every birth is different, and the pain of childbirth is a different type of pain than any I had previously experienced, which made it hard to prepare for.

I too approached the birth of DC1 in a very relaxed way, as many of my friends had had fairly pain-free deliveries, only to find it was excruciating and I really did think I might die. DC2 was born really easily without even a paracetamol. So there is no telling how it'll go.

I would say that an added layer to childbirth is the feeling that there is something to accomplish through the pain, and that this can feel impossible, which can be scary. If you burn yourself you feel pain, but you've removed yourself from harm and it's already 'over'. With childbirth, you have to move through it and allow it even though it might feel like your body can't possibly do what is being asked of it. That was a huge surprise for me as I'd definitely believed that my body would 'know what to do' and all I'd need to do would be to roll with it.

It's ok, I managed on gas and air until put on the drip which accelerated everything, asked for an epidural - putting that in was really horrible as had to stay still. Then it turned out I was further along than they thought so I never actually got any drugs via it. They took the Gas and air away as I needed to concentrate.Actually giving birth (unsurprisingly) feels like having a massive bowel movement and the worst part is the stinging as the head emerges. Was given G&A for delivery of the placenta which hurt more

It also depends on your overall health and fitness, if you are super in shape with good abdominal muscles to ease pushing or younger I expect the process to be easier.

It wasn't 'pain' like stubbing your toe. It's like a weird pressure. Had a long back to back labour and I'd do it again anyday. As a PP said, I don't want more babies but I'd happily labour again.

All 3 of mine were manageable with a TENS machine and gas and air.
However my waters didn't break until near the end so that may have reduced the intensity.
Try and keep mobile but keep your options open and decide on the day what you need.
I agree about the contractions feeling like bad period pain.
The time when you are coming near to being able to push is the time when everything feels too much but it was very short for me and then the overwhelming urge to push was a relief.
Good luck.

The pain sucks big time. Luckily I've never been in much pain before. I do have a very low pain threshold.

I'd go with an open mind and when the pain starts to get bad try not to panic because I did ( both times ) and it makes it so much worse.

Also, have someone who can speak for you if need be and knows your wishes.

You will get through it. You will get over it. It will be worth it. Most people tend to do it again 🤦‍♀️🤣