How bad was the pain of labour/giving birth?

[HE96x]

Ftm due in just under 3 weeks so please give it to me as it is lol as I need to be prepared. How bad is the pain really? I do think I have a good pain threshold but by no means am I a superhuman when it comes to pain. I am aiming to go as natural as possible and just get through it on gas and air as i don't want stronger drugs if I can avoid it. I am so far quite complacent about the whole thing, I'm not particularly worried and keep telling myself yes it will be extremely painful but bearable, but.. is the pain bearable? Is it totally doable on just gas and air or am I being unrealistic? And also which was the worst part of the whole process for you, contractions or pushing/ring of fire?

Thanks in advance!

Good luck OP! Hopefully your labour is smooth.

I’ve got 3 DC - two spontaneous vaginal births and one induction with EMCS. DD1 - 8lb 6oz, DD2 - 8lb 2oz, DS 8lb 7oz

DD1: long and painful! Gas and air made me feel drunk and I was literally passing out between contractions so they felt pretty continuous. Pushing was a different pain so it’s hard to compare which was worse. Really struggled to walk about afterwards and it took months to feel normal again.

DD2: much quicker and more painful. Had gas and air again but not for as long as I was only in the hospital for about an hour before she was born. They gave me pethidine which didn’t really help until after she was born. Was up and moving about within a couple of hours and felt pretty much normal after a few days.

DS: contractions came thick and fast when labour got going. I went from 2cm to 5cm in 15 minutes and my body was already trying to push him out at that point. His heart dropped dangerously and I was haemorrhaging so they did an EMCS under general anaesthetic. When I came back around from the GA, I felt like I was being ripped open from my wound and I needed the maximum dosage of morphine to manage the pain. It was an all-round pretty traumatic experience. It took weeks to heal and I was back at minor injuries 5 weeks PP because my wound had reopened.

Of the three births, I’d do my DD2’s again. Fast and painful contractions but over so much quicker and the recovery time after was the shortest. DH has now had a vasectomy so we are very much done!

It's generally the worst pain but remember it will end. You just have to get to the end of it when you get your beautiful baby. 100% worth it. I've done it 3 times, very painful, just gas and air. TBH I'd rather go through it again than have to sit through another corporate wankery meeting at work.

I hynobirthed with an induction.

i found the hypnobirbirthing focussed me and gave me an end point (I knew I could breathe for 4 rounds and the contraction would be over). I used the Freya app. 100% recommended.

then the transition / crowning / ring of fire part was not fun at all… but I knew the baby was on his way out .. so again, I just knew that I could manage and it’d be over soon.

I was starting to get to the limit and tell myself I couldn’t cope. But I was conscious of this and knew that when you feel like that it’s because the baby is on his way out. And it’s all over after that.

I really recommend positive birth company and reading up on hypnobirthing, immersing yourself in it. Watch videos. Podcasts etc. because on the day it’s so helpful.

With my first birth I didn’t “immerse” myself in hyonobirthing, forgot everything in my panic and let the pain take over.

i also think hynobirthing just needs renaming to something like… “how not to panic when having a baby”

I really enjoyed DD1's birth. Normal length of 18 hours (12 at home). I used TENS at home and the birth pool at the midwife unit. I just felt immense pressure rather than pain - good position of baby?

DD2's was definitely more painful and I needed gas and air. It was quicker so I had to give birth on a mat beside the pool which was still filling.

I've had far more painful periods as a teenager and now as middle-aged women than labour and/or birth. That pain lasts longer than my labours too - at least 24 hours.

I would class myself as a wimp and not great with pain. However I found labour very manageable! I surprised myself. Gas and air was enough to take the edge off.

I think the worst part was "transitioning". Could be a coincidence but both my labours I seemed to transition on the car journey and it was the worst 30mins of the whole thing.

Good luck OP

Well I spent the day thinking I had wind. By the time (now Ex), H insisted I went into the hospital I was about an hour away from giving birth. I remember asking the midwife when the "painful bit was going to start" and being given a look of disbelief.

I w given birth twice with no pain relief as planned and had straightforward easy labours/births. Being in control of breathing certainly helped and the pain with the first one was not anything that I can even remember, I do recall having the last couple of contractions with my second child quite painful but they were only momentary and over with quickly.

No rips or tears and my sisters labours were the same.

I have to say though that we all hated being pregnant, I felt sick at the beginning and uncomfortable in the last month, certainly didn't get any kind of pregnancy glow!

Get yourself a TENS machine, I used this for my 15 hour labour with my first (and only) DC. I had gas, air and a water birth, the water was a huge pain reliever, I was very advanced when I got into the tub and laboured very quickly. I don’t regret not having an epidural, I did end up a 2nd degree tear, no idea if the two are linked. My DD had one hand on her face, so suspect this to be the cause.

The worst for me was the lead up. When you're going full throttle it kind of changes.

I've had severe bowel emergencies and this was worse pain for me than having a baby tbh.

I had pethidine once in hospital with advanced contractions as I was having a very raised heart rate. I was afraid and anxious so that helped that a little.

By the time I said please can I have an epidural they said too early but then looked and saw it was actually too late. I grabbed the gas and air which did help alot. I was on another planet with that which I appreciated! I tore my foof quite badly but I didn't even feel it. It hurt a bit after but iced sanitary towel pads were amazing.

Not going to lie it hurts intensely, but it is bearable. I've done it both ways - first time I wanted all of the drugs. Had panadol (ha), pethidine, epidural and gas and air. I didn't find they took all the pain away, I felt sick from it, and they contributed to further interventions needed. It was a bit shit really, because I was still in pain but couldn't move to help alleviate it.

Second time, I did it with just gas and air. Way longer labour but so so much easier a birth. The pain was intense but I managed to get through it and my recovery after was so smooth. I was up and out of the bed within 30minutes, walking around the room and showing my baby off.

I personally preferred being able to move about, labouring in the comfort of my own home for longer, being able to change position for pushing and having an easier recovery. I did find I needed a very calm environment at home to manage it - if I was in hospital longer I probably would have asked for relief.

It's scary to think about as a FTM but no matter what happens during birth, it's only a very very short time of your life in the grand scheme of things! And will transform your life utterly for the better.

Unfortunately, you won't know until you're through it. Every person and every labour is different. Three stories from three different women, all first babies:

1. First mother knew she was in labour, but pain was bearable. She had a shower, calmly went about packing her bag and her DH drove her to hospital. Nurses claimed she couldn't possibly be in labour, as she'd be in way more pain - her waters broke within minutes all over the nurse's shoes. Baby delivered shortly afterwards. Don't know about the actual birth itself, but she felt it was all manageable, largely because she had been practising meditation for a long time before birth and felt this helped her get through it.
2. Mum 2 - extremely painful contractions which she said came in waves, so she'd have a break between one ending and the next one starting. Traumatic and painful birth with tearing and stitches, for which no pain relief was given. Took a long time to recover mentally and physically.
3. Mum 3 - back to back labour and totally unbearable agony. No such thing as contractions, just unbearable pain that got worse every second. Emergency c-section.

All you can do is educate yourself to the best of your ability, so you can make informed choices. Write everything down in a very detailed birth plan, including considering what will happen if things don't go exactly as you hope, such as what type of intervention you'd be happy to accept, who will advocate for you, understand what happens if you need a general anaesthetic etc.

I would just take the advice of midwives and doctors as you go along. I don’t think planning for what will happen when plan A goes wrong is helpful. How do you know what’s best in the circumstances? Why not listen to professionals? We don’t know everything and should just express a preference. People advocating for you is just more people who don’t know much. They and you might be wasting valuable time. The inquiries into baby units have all found non intervention is a big problem when intervention was needed. So I’d listen to professionals and not have rigid inflexible ideas.

I agree with this completely. My birth plan basically said I’ll do what’s necessary for a healthy, alive baby. My third birth was traumatic and completely not to plan but I don’t feel traumatised or angry. The professionals made the right decisions to deliver my DS alive.

I got an epidural so it was pain free after that.

I highly recommend it!

I've experienced a lot of pain in my life and am generally good at tolerating it. I went into it knowing it was going to hurt. It hurt more than I could have ever imagined. I genuinely didn't think I was capable of feeling such pain without dying.

BUT it isn't that painful the whole time (just near the end) and I didn't have any pain relief (DD was born soon after getting to the hospital and no time for gas and air - no water birth or anything like that) and it was over relatively quickly.

I'm pregnant again and not worried about the pain.

I don't know. I had planned sections, thank goodness (which were largely pain free). The day of my first section I was clearly starting to go into labour and having some early contractions that were like bad period pain. I was glad I could avoid them getting any worse.

It's going to vary for everyone, and it's very difficult to get an accurate answer out of people. I've noticed on MN (and in RL) that people tend to say it's manageable or 'not that bad' before someone has a baby, but on threads talking about their experiences afterwards people say it was much worse. So there's an element of people not wanting to frighten (What's the point, you're already pregnant...) and obviously the people that choose to post are self selecting.

However ok or bad or is however, most people think it's worth it in the end.

Both of mine were absolutely excruciating and I have a high pain threshold and am usually stoic. Used gas and air with them both.

But first was drip induced and that is supposed to be more painful and second was stupidly fast (under an hour) and back to back, second hurt more than the first I would say.

Different for everyone.
For me it was the worst pain ever AND doable on gas and air. Kind of like my brain was wrapped in a fuzzy cloud so I couldn't think too much.
My ds was back to back and the labour was about 40 hours so was exhausting. Btw I was upright the entire time. The minute I lay down it was not bearable.

Mine were painful but bearable but I never had any inductions. With natural labour the pain builds up slowly so you have time to get used to it.. I hear it's different with inductions so just something to be aware of.

I found it tolerable.

Far worst pain was 2 months ago when my back went followed by headaches caused by concussion many years ago. Childbirth gets a lowly third place, DS came so quickly I had no pain relief.

Some women want to feel the pain. Everyone is different.

Well I thought it was awful and had epidurals, then I was with my daughter when she gave birth and the first time she mentioned that she was thinking about pain relief was about ten minutes before Grandson was born, so what do I know?

I was petrified before giving birth. It was the one thing I feared about having children. I did a hypnobirthing course to try to help me with my anxiety. When it came to my son's birth, I was pleasantly surprised. I was rather lucky as he was born 8 days early, I had a 4 hour labour start to finish (first thing was my waters breaking unexpectedly when we were out and about!) and my son was a petite 6lb 7oz. We got to the hospital an hour before our son made his appearance so I laboured most of it without gas and air. We were ushered into a room on arrival and I felt like I was desperate to poo! I wasn't, the baby was coming! Nobody had come to see me yet since we arrived so my husband had to find someone. Only then did they realise I was fully dilated and baby was on his way out! I finally had gas and air whilst I pushed! This was for about 20 minutes. I never felt like I needed any more pain relief, if I had the time beforehand. Gas and air was enough just to take the edge off for me.
I'm newly pregnant again now and I'm sort of looking forward to doing it all again!

It wasn't that bad. Breastfeeding was worse lol. (seriously - labour is over relatively quickly compared to sore bleeding nipples for days) (they do heal eventually, then it's painless).