How bad was the pain of labour/giving birth?

[HE96x]

Ftm due in just under 3 weeks so please give it to me as it is lol as I need to be prepared. How bad is the pain really? I do think I have a good pain threshold but by no means am I a superhuman when it comes to pain. I am aiming to go as natural as possible and just get through it on gas and air as i don't want stronger drugs if I can avoid it. I am so far quite complacent about the whole thing, I'm not particularly worried and keep telling myself yes it will be extremely painful but bearable, but.. is the pain bearable? Is it totally doable on just gas and air or am I being unrealistic? And also which was the worst part of the whole process for you, contractions or pushing/ring of fire?

Thanks in advance!

I thought I had a high pain threshold. Good god those pains nearly killed me.

Wanted a water birth. Opted for epidural.

Staff said I was a different person after the pain relief. Couldn't open my eyes before that, the pain was so bad.

Having said that... ended up having emcs and they found my uterus had torn so I'm wondering if that caused the pain?

Second baby, elective cs. Had contractions (baby was 6 weeks early) and although didn't enjoy them, they didn't feel half as bad as the first time around.

I'd say go in with an open mind, expect it not to go to plan / don't have a plan, and don't be a hero. If you can't take the pain, tell them and get pain relief.

Completely bearable. I had two births with no anaesthetic at all. Whatever pain you have, you know it isn’t going to last and is giving you your baby. My mother had three without anaesthetic. Too many people have horror stories.

The late time I said this in real life, I was shouted at! I've had 2, the only pain I had was a mild back ache. I didn't have pain relief as I didn't need to. I've had worse back ache from back strain. I fully understand that my experiences aren't others BTW. Truthfully, you won't know until you are in labour. Some women feel that the experience was very painful, others think it's like shelling peas. That is the truth of it.

I've had 3 babies and never needed anything other than just breathing, tens machine and got my water birth on number 3 yay. It's really manageable, learn hyonobirthing techniques to stay calm. Very intense but very manageable, I enjoyed labour and would like to have number four to do it again.

What no one ever told me, and was a bit of a shock, is that the pushing bit feels just like being massively constipated and having a huge 💩. I expected the "urge to push" to be felt more towards the front. Subsequent babies were easier, partly because I knew what to expect. Oh, and once the baby is out you have to go through it again and expel the placenta.

yep similar here. Except that I don’t actually remember the placenta bit either time.

Full disclosure - it's bad, hard to describe. But if it helps, it comes in waves so you do get a chance to catch your breath. It's not like one solid pain if that makes sense.

It totally depends on the woman and the baby in my opinion.

I’ve had 2, both fairly quick - first one 6 hours, contractions were manageable at first but they had to monitor baby and kept me on my back which made the pains much harder to manage and was pushing for well over an hour. Had pethadine and gas and air.

Second baby, 2 hours start to finish, pains were just like tightenings right until the last half hour when I presented at hospital 10cm dilated, baby was born within 20 min. No pain relief at all, no time even for gas and air.

Both times I thought the worst part was the burning sensation when the head is crowning - imagine a Chinese burn sensation. I had a lovely midwife who held a cold flannel down there the second time which helped.

My advice is stay as active and upright as possible for as long as possible! It helps!

I think it completely depends on your type of labour. My baby was back to back so I had a bad experience with pain. I think it's okay to go in with the idea you only want to use gas and air, but be open to the idea that's it's also okay to take stronger pain meds if you want to. There are no rewards for not taking medication. Most men would take the medication!

Totally bearable and possible even enjoyable. I loved giving birth although I wouldn’t say painless, but the whole thing was just very cool. Pool and entonox first time and just entonox second time.
I do think perineal massage helped.

For me it was nothing like a period pain . It was like I can imagine a strong electric shock that lasts for about ten seconds with no give . Absolutely impossible to cope with . Each one made me panic . I went nine hours trying to cope with just gas n air and eventually gave in to a epidural! Amazing . Good luck . Everyone’s pain and birth is different

Mine was! Which was part of the issue as it happens constant contraction for 2 hours so 1cm to 10 v quickly

each person is different - what is the same I think is that you know what it is - and listen to your body and what it is saying. For me that was pushing that I was in labour (one solid contraction so wasn’t picked up by the machine) and then when I starting pushing automatically that it was time

recognise what you need to get you through it because it will be different for everyone

Mine was awful, back to back labour and the kind of pain where i started to panic and felt like i would vomit. I’m not saying this to frighten you, because I very quickly got an epidural and everything was fine after that, but just to make you aware. You will be fine either way, I have fairly positive memories of the birth.

It's so hard to describe. I had a straightforward birth and wanted pain relief so it must have been bad but I can't remember now. I didn't get pain relief.

Hopefully when it starts it will ramp up. Mine fell like full back aches before getting much stronger.

I found the pain unbearable lying on my back or holding my breathe. If I lay on my side or leaned over something - bearable.

I didn't know this till they started.

To prepare for my first I watched tonnes of one born every minute and the mums who struggled were the ones trying to fight it or panicked.

I honestly can’t remember and I had a 3rd degree tear and episiotomy. Then a c section.

I gave birth to both of mine with just gas and air and it was very painful. At times unbearably so, but that was right towards the end so it wasn't too long before they were born each time. If I had my time again with my first birth, I wished I had an epidural as the labour was so long and it could have bought me some time to sleep which would have helped me get off to a better start postnatally.

Going into it open minded is best, so aim for gas and air but if it gets too much, consider other options such as epidural/pethidine/diamorphine- whatever your trust offers.

All the best with the birth!

Honestly it never got unmanageable for me and I have a low pain threshold! I had no pain relief first time and gas and air second time which was lovely and really does take the edge off! It will be different for everyone though.

I found listening to the positive birth story podcast really helpful in calming my nerves are preparing myself. Wishing you all the best!!

I will preface by saying both my births were by induction at 36 & 35 weeks (medical reasons for both) my 1st I went about 16 hours on gas & air, & I was finding it increasingly painful & I was talking to my midwife & she said to me you have done incredibly well but you don't need to be a hero if you need an epidural then you need one,it is fine to do so, so i had an epidural & it was great, with my second i had an epidural earlier as i knew what the drip felt like & i could preempt the pain & my birth was really good,I enjoyed my labour more,i was more relaxed & pushing was good,i pushed for maybe ten minutes & the room was full of happiness ,sounds corny but its true.

Bad, like the worst period pain and back pain combined. However, I have done it three times completely drug-free, so in hindsight I guess it was manageable! (And yet I nearly passed out last week when I cut my hand chopping onions, lol).

What helped me was knowing it was an expected pain rather than an unexpected one, and with each contraction I was closer to meeting my baby. It's different for everyone OP but if you struggle at all there are some good drug options available.

I did it twice without pain relief because the gas and air made me queasy. The first time I panicked a bit, because I'd never felt pain like it. With DD2 I was more relaxed as it was familiar. But it wasn't bad enough to make the queasiness from the g&a more appealing.

Generally speaking, I don't have a high pain threshold. I guess it's just an unknown as to how it will be for individuals.

I wouldn't go in with a set goal to try and avoid anything stronger than gas and air though. You don't know how you'll find it, and there's nothing wrong with having pain relief if you need it.

I'm afraid asking this question is somewhat pointless. You're going to receive a HUGE variation of answers, as to be honest, every woman is different and will experience it in a completely different way. I've had 2 babies and we're both pretty traumatic. My best friend has had 4 and they all popped out in a few minutes, like shelling peas! Also people love sharing extremes, and you will inevitably hear some horror stories, which won't help matters.

The whole experience depends on factors other than the size of your baby, or your pain threshold, but things like - knowing you're being advocated for and feeling confident and going in armed with knowledge.

Make sure you take someone in who will speak up for you if you can't. This is massive. You might think it's your partner - but if things get hairy, or they're knackered, you'd be surprised how people change.

Learning about the different sensations in labour is useful (what it feels like to push etc) and silly things like the knowledge that if you sh*t yourself it's normal and they see it everyday. All of these things reduce anxiety, and therefore pain, making the whole experience far more manageable.

Good luck OP! If you get chance come back and tell us how it went ☺️

It's bearable because you have no choice but to bear it. I did it on gas and air only and I wouldn't say it was fine but...it was fine. It was also the worst pain I've ever experienced. But you go into a weird mental space while it's happening and you just get through it somehow.

I've had 3 standard size babies, and I'd say the pain on a scale of 1-10 was about 5, except for a minute or 2 during transition, when it was about 9.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the most pain I've ever been in but somehow I coped with it. My gran had told me to remember the pain was just a sensation and my body knew what to do, she was right. I'd say that breathing and focusing only on yourself, being calm is the best way to cope with it.

Also prepare your birth partner to be completely in tune with your needs and requests. They need to be listening to you, if you ask for something they need to be your voice if needed. I became almost silent throughout my labours because it helped me manage the pain. I'd told my ex husband to be prepared to listen, if I asked for pain relief he may be needed to advocate for me, which he did.

Never felt a pain like it. Worse than I imagined.

For me I found it was ok as each contraction only lasted a minute or so. Though it was very painful during each contraction. Yes the ring of fire is also painful but at that point you don't have any choice and you know you're so close to meeting your baby you just sort of get through it.

Pacing myself and knowing what techniques to use at what stage was the most helpful thing. I read this amazing book recommended to me on here by JuJu Sundin called Birth Skills. And a YouTube channel called Sarah Lavonne is also helpful.

Finding ways to distract yourself/feel like you're "using" each contraction during the first 30 sec ramping up phase helps and keeping going but knowing it was then going to ease was good. I had DH counting me up and down from 30 which helped. (He used a contraction timer app).

The longest bit is at home where you'll have no pain relief at all (TENS maybe but I didn't really like it) so techniques for that part are really really helpful. Then once you get into hospital you'll have a sense of how it's going. I liked using the birth pool as this really helped relieve the stronger contractions though recommend holding off as long as you possibly can before getting in. If you go into hospital before you get to that point ask to go into the room with the pool if they have one.