Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

Mine hurt - a LOT. I just has gas and air and Tens. I was induced but argued against the drip because I felt the constant monitoring was holding up labour and having to be strapped to that machine. Once they let me off the machine I moved about and it helped so much and I had my daughter within a couple of hours. I only pushed for ten minutes. I was unlucky that I needed a few stitches internally as my daughter had her hand over her face when coming down - my perineum was intact and I had no problems with the stitches after the birth. While it was seriously painful, it is not a bad pain - you are not dying! It is all natural and what we are made to do. Given the choice of doing it all again vs giving birth strapped to a bed with a needle in my back is no contest for me. I am pregnant with my second and my birth plan - NO EPIDURAL. It's probably silly but I feel quite proud that I can endure that pain and do what my body was intended to do.

Hi, haven't read the whole thread (I would like to get to bed before the early hours today thanks!) but if no one else has offered this advice already, it is the best thing I ever took notice of.

When the contractions start to hurt, and feel like they are tumbling in on top of one another, instead of thinking/saying/screaming "Noooooooo not another one" think yes, another one closer to holding your baby.

It sounds a bit wacky, but seriously it worked for me, I got to the point with DS2 when I said "Oh no, no more" and somehow, I remembered being told to say yes to the contractions and it did work, honestly! I got through being induced with a 8lb 10 baby with 4 puffs of gas and air, and screaming and mooing

Hi Bearmama - u are probably lost in a sea of posts, but here's what I reckon anyway...

Had epidural with dd1 11 years ago, eventually. After a few days of back to back labour. Hd pethidine early on too. Had everything actually. It was great eventually with the epidural. Remember watching Richard and Judy and Country Practice and then out she popped.

So with dd2 last year I begged and begged for an epidural. But the only anaesthetist {sp) on duty (yeah, right) was doing a C-section. For a long time. And s/he never turned up. So I had gas and air and nowt else. It was bad, but not that bad really. The end bit was surprisingly ok actually, thought it was gonna be the thing that hurt most but I would say no for me.

And I know u are gonna be really scared and worried about the birth. But believe me it's not that bad.

Just wait til the bit that comes after, motherhood. Now THAT'S what you should be worried about

Bearmama I don't know if you should try this at this stage, but I went to the MW at 36wks and LO was starting to engage OP, so I did the inversion technique where you kneel on the settee then put your hands on the floor with bum in the air, to shake baby the right way round. It worked (or baby did it anyway) because I went for a scan at 37+5 and LO was vertex. I went for MW appt last week and baby was still the right way round and engaged again. I would speak to the MW and see if it would cause any problems this late on. Obviously I have been hypervigilant about OFP this time from about 30wks, no slouching on settee (lots of sitting typing on the internet!), scrubbing floors on all fours, inversion, lying on my side at all times in bed etc.

Try not to worry though because most babies will turn even during labour.

Not had one yet so can't comment on pain aspect, but read an interesting thing, that thought I'd share: you wouldn't have your teeth out without pain relief, so why are women expected to give birth without any pain relief.......
Just thought it was an interesting comment. Any thoughts?

if having your teeth out with pain relief meant you also had to be cathetirised, lose control of your mouth and be more likey to end up having major surgery to remove your teeth then maybe more people would have teeth out with just gas and air!

I had an episiotomy and didn't feel the head crown at all, cos they numb you first.

My biggest tip is to hire a tens machine. It was brilliant, it also gives you something to fiddle with and concentrate on that you can be in control of.

Also practice breathing in for 20 and out for 20 over the next few days. You won't be able to get to 20 at first but as you practice you will get there. It means that when you're having contractions for real you'll have enough puff in you to breath out for most of a contraction which will help you get through them.

A few thoughts about "coping" with childbirth, just stuff thats helped some of the women that I've cared for -

Getting your baby into a good position for birth, before it all starts, really helps. Its never too late - the hands and knees with bum in the air, not slouching, using a cushion in the small of your back when you drive - basically upright and forward-leaning or if you're exhausted, on your left side on the sofa/bed.

I just wish more MWs mentioned that labour does hurt, but its pain that makes your body move in a way to bring your baby down and let him/her wiggle his/her way out.

Focus, quiet, being able to concentrate.

Make the room your own if you're going into hospital - ask for lights to be turned down, MWs to keep their voices down, no one to come in unless you or partner say so. Take a blanket. Hell, take what YOU need and ignore the tutting!

Take a look at the link www.birthpsychology.com/primalhealth/

Warmest wishes.

I've had two babies - one in hospital with an epidural, the other at home with nothing. Neither were what I would chose to do on a Saturday night, both hurt like hell (the epidural second time round was really late) but I would always go without if I had another. Did it hurt? A hell of a lot, but I had a fantastic midwife who made me believe I could do it and I did. Without all the drugs and panic of the first time, I felt so much better afterwards, and even during knew what was going on. The pain of childbirth is bad, but fear can make it much, much worse in my experience. Why not go into labour with an open mind? If you feel you can't cope with the pain, then have an epidural. There's nothing wrong with that. If you feel OK, then stick to gas and air or nothing. Don't make decisions now and don't worry about the birth - that fades away so quickly. Crowning only stings really, btw, it's the contractions that hurt. You CAN do it - remember that.

I was desperate not to have an epidural with both of mine. I am a midwife so I was aware that I was only in early labour when it really started to hurt I thought how am I ever going to cope until the baby comes out. Anyway I kept going and every now and then panicked that I would not cope. Went in to mw led birth unit where I got in to pool at this stage thinking I still had another ten hours or so to go. Started to think I really really can't cope with this when had urge to push and dd popped out half an hour later. I was on such a high for months that I had done it the way I always wanted to, despite the fact that 24 hours before I had her I was already wondering how I would manage.

Second baby born in a pool at home, hurt quite a lot too, but this time I never doubted that I'd cope as I had done before. It was also easier in that I didn't have the tiredness as it took less time than the first one. One thing that I found really useful both times was a wheatbag, it was invaluable for the early stages and I think I used it along with tens for about 25 hours first time around.

So the original question do I wish I had had an epidural? NO WAY Both births were fab experiences.

'Crowning only stings really, btw, it's the contractions that hurt.'

yes I thought that after my first child too, but then try having one that weighs nearly nine pounds, it does more than sting!!

With only my 6lb babies to compare it with, my eyes are watering at the thought ...

Haven't read most of this but...

Pain was both better and worse than expected. It was worse - absolute agony - but I didn't really know what to expect, and it sort of takes care of itself. I think the idea of it is far worse than the reality.

Both labours were too short for an epidural, even though I planned to have one with ds1. Only had gas and air with both.

With ds1 the pain was like really like period pain but 1000 times worse. With ds2 (1.5 hours labour), it was absolute agony from start to finish (cannot begin to describe how painful), with no gaps between the contractions, but at least it was quick.

Only the contractions were painful. The pushing stage was fine - a blessed relief.

i didn't think the crowning stung-i felt like i was splitting in two tbh.i felt it in my pubic bone.
but once he was out it stopped!

LOL hudgebear! I have just had a scan at 37+5 and they said baby was approx 9lb then give or take a lb. I tend to believe them because dd was 9lb12oz.(EMCS though as OP as well)

Hello bearmama

I think the more relaxed you are the better. I was really looking forward to it the first time and only really struggled for the last 30 mins or so. Had gas and air but nothing else but had a short labour and did mention I might like an epidural but I was already 10cm dilated so too late. V glad in hindsight that it was too late but if I had only been 2cm I would have demanded one. Contraction pain was immense, more than I could have imagined, but somehow not that bad really. Did not feel pain of crowning or tearing for some reason, nor being stitched up.

More or less the same with second labour except two babies. Was looking forward to it, was pretty ok for first couple of hours. Then decided pain was pretty bad and said maybe I might like the epidural but again was fully dilated so too late. This time DID feel the crowning and found this to be the worst bit.

Just remember not to shout out during contractions if using gas and air. It means you stop using it while you shout and it's only then you realise that it really is making a difference as BY GOD THE PAIN INTENSIFIES!

Makes me want to do it again now, typing this, but think perhaps I have enough sprogs for now .

Oh, and as for crowning hurting more with big babies. The only one that hurt for me was DD (DT1) who was 4lbs 11. The other two, who were bigger, didn't hurt at all actually coming out.

My piece of advice based on personal experience is that if you hire a tens machine, make sure that if you pass the controls over to your birthing partner they know exactly how to use it and don't immediately crank it up to full volume

Message withdrawn

My experience with dd1 was that the pain was bad,but not as bad as I'd thought.My labour was too fast for an epidural & I actually gave birth to her with no pain relief at all,as the midwife took the gas & air away.The stitches were far worse than having a baby.

With dd2, my labour was even faster,so barely had time to use the gas & air at all before she arrived.Luckily the pain wasn't bad at all,I've had worse period pain.

Good luck!

I was induced so decided to go for an epidural because I was aware that induction contractions come on more quickly/strongly. Despite previously wanting a water birth, I was very glad of the epidural (it was a "mobile" one but there was no way I was getting off that bed!). It felt like coming up off the sea bed and I felt I could think and actually be far more in control than when I was in pain.
It's true that it was more difficult to push but I still managed it and I was able to concentrate on what I was doing which I'm not sure I would have been otherwise.
My advice would be don't rule anything out, go with the flow for labour and above all, don't feel that anything is "right' or "wrong". There is nothing to feel guilty about with pain relief.

i was given the following advice...explicitly and also incidentally....and i chose to think it was akin to nonsense...more fool me!

endeavour to make your body soft...every muscle in your body soft soft soft and relaaaaxed.

i would beg and implore you to not fight the pain.. not to clench every muscle in your body and endure it...not to think about how much it hurts and that you can beat this etc ...as i did first time round.(i was really scared but thought i could 'tough it out')

second time around i toook deeep breaths,made sure my whole body was soft..that's face ,jaw,hands lower back...the lot and i swear to god i felt the pain lessen by what felt like half..as i concentrated on being all soft.

now have i said soft enough?

At the time it was painful. But within weeks i really couldn't remember quite how painful it had been.

I would rather go through labour, than have flu for a week or hayfever for a month. Does that help?

Think through a basic/flexible outline of what pain relief you would want. I thought gas and air, tens machine, epidural if i couldn't cope (i didn't want pethadine as heard it could delay breastfeeding/make me drowsy to greet my baby). I managed on gas and air and tens machine - but was open to more if i needed it and this gave me more confidence with the pain when I spoke to the professionals around me.

Practise a relaxation technique that works for you. I found deep breathing and counting helped, but could send someone else nuts. It kept me focussed and allowed me to count through the length of each contraction. The rests between contractions are great.

By the time you get to crowning, you are too busy to think about it as much as you are right now.

LOL at abouteves comment of "Shit what have I done". THat sums up how I felt exactly in labour. I come from a family (and an area really) where women just pop out lots of babies and Id had visions of a big family, but I remember clearly thinking in labour "this is my LAST"

But 18 months on, I`d quite happily do it again to get another scrumptious baby like my DD!

I never noticed the crowning to be honest. THe actual contraction pain was far worse than the crowning, I felt. I didn`t really know when the baby was coming, even though I was in a midwife clininc where there were no pain relief options.