Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

position of the baby can make a lot of difference to pain - I was told that the position DS was in and the way he was lying on my cervix had made my early labour particularly painful - so it's not always a case of breathing and positive attitude making things enormously better!

Both of mine were different. My 1st (ds) i was in water up until about 90mins before he was born and that was without pain relief and yes it did hurt but it was nothing compared to the stitches where i DID need G&A. My dd was born at 36wks and my waters were full of blood so i was attached to the monitor and unable to get off the bed so the pain seemed much worse. I opted for pethadine to help me get some sleep but only got about an hours rest before she was born.

With both dc's i decided not to do a birth plan and to just to go with the flow as i didnt want to be 'disappointed' if i had to throw plan out of the window.

Each person has a different pain threshhold but no matter what you experience when in labour as soon as baby is on your chest the pain does just magically disappear.

Sorry, I totallhy disagree that it all disappears when your baby is placed on you - in fact the only thing I thought after DD1 was finally ventoused out of me was 'go away. Everyone. Including the baby'...

My first birth was fucking horrible, for lots of reasons, and lasted a very long time - I went to hospital after I'd been in labour for around a day, and didn't give birth for another 15 hours or so: I had (as I'd intended to have) an epidural, although it didn't work very well.

My second was much easier, at home, seven hours, painful but just about bearable with the help of gas and air, a hot water bottle in the small of my back, and a birth pool into which I delivered.

"the pain does just magically disappear". Yes and no - the pain of contractions did disappear in my case, and the placenta came out straightforwardly, but that isn't going to be the case for all.

Agree about the stitches. First birth with epidural did not feel them. Second pain relief free birth was a different story. Even though I was given a local, it hurt like hell. I was shouting and cursing alot more than when pushing the baby out!! I remember my midwife was called Karen and I was saying (yelling) to her "for gods sake Karen this REALLY hurts!" when she was administering the stitches.

Also recovery-wise, first one with epidural and episiotomy lots of swelling and bruising. Second one, no swelling or bruising, no pain when peeing, was back in thongs the same week!

I think it's also true that if you have an epidural, then the swelling and bruising is probably more noticeable afterwards, simply because you're numbed up and not feeling the pain during the birth. When I had my dd1, I was pretty battered and bruised afterwards, but tbh, having given birth on gas and air, I didnt really notice the after pain in comparison. Whereas women transferring into the midwife unit from hospital, who'd had epidurals, were moaning about the amount of pain their lady bits were in! So I guess another advantage of going without the epidural is that once the baby's out, anything else seems like a breeze!

My epidural (1st baby) had worn off by the end so I was almost back to normal for the crowning/birth and I could walk very easily within minutes. An epidural doesn't have to be a complete knock out, the aneathatist will normally stop 'topping up' as the birth approaches so you can get the best of both worlds, not so much pain but a fairly natural birth.

I had an epidural with my first birth, and chose to go it alone at home the next two times. I preferred the pain-relief free births, even though they bleddy hurt!

You will probably discover you are stronger and tougher and more capable than you ever imagined. You just have to go with it. I found I kind of got into a zone and did it. Not something you can really explain unfortunately!

"Whereas women transferring into the midwife unit from hospital, who'd had epidurals, were moaning about the amount of pain their lady bits were in! So I guess another advantage of going without the epidural is that once the baby's out, anything else seems like a breeze!".

Alfiesbabe - so I take it that you could sit down and you weren't suffering from urinary retention in the 36 hours after the birth. And presumably you hadn't had ventouse or forceps? I didn't have an epi, but I was still in agony shortly after the birth. But even if I did have an epi, that doesn't mean that I would have deserved less respect for what I was going through.

Honestly you should follow whatever pain relief option you feel most comfortable with. Your body, your baby . I've had two, both without anything other than gas and air. First one was painful as I actually didn't have a break between contractions. Second one was the same but as ds2 came in 1hr 15 didn't really have time to worry about pain just focussed on the end result. I wish you a great birth and safe and happy delivery of your baby.

i had a similar experience to StarlightM's last post.

i gave birth drug free on my knees whilst hugging the back of the bed.

i didn't have the baby delivered up onto me because my body didn't feel like flipping over at that time. i was still shaking from pain and a graze AND i was still contracting trying to get hte placenta out.

it hurt.

and you know what, for me at least, that graze hurt worse than the stitches from forceps first time round.

i know everyone's different, but there's no shame in having an epidural or pain relief.

in fact, childbirth is the only time i think people are routinely expected to undergo that level of pain without pain-relief.

It did hurt but was totally bearable. Crowning was worse than the contractions for me, but over very quickly so not a huge deal. Water helped me relax and feel in control.

2 births, 2 wonderful experiences, wish I could do it again : )

Why anticipate pain? Then it can only be a bad experiences, surely.. Giving birth is known as "labour" as it is hard work and imho painful is not the best word to describe it. I didn´t consider any pain relief during either birth.

My strategies to deal with "pain" was to stay home as long as possible, out of a medicalized environment and to remain mentally focussed and in control of the situation. Breathing techniques are fantastic for feeling in control; LEARN THEM! Vocalizing is a great way to "get rid" of any "pain", shout it out and by the time you´ve finished the worst will have passed. As the labour progresses I found staying in water relieved the contractions and may have minimized tearing.

Good luck.

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This is all really valuable - obviously I would like to steal the mindsets of ib and noresolutions on the day!

totalchaos - I had a fanjo full of stitches and yes, it was painful to sit down but still nothing compared to the pain of giving birth! I don't really understand why your post is so aggressive - it isnt a competition you know!! I was just making the point that IME, the women who had epidurals were more aware of the pain afterwards, probably because if you are numbed up, you don't realise until the feeling comes back that you're bruised and battered. Seems quite logical to me.

Gas and air does take the edge of the pain but can make some people feel sick and confused and completely out of control which for me was the most frightening thing.

sorry alfiesbabe, I misread your post as you meaning that the women who had epis were moaning minnies, but now you've clarified so I understand it better.

Same here, buns.

Apparently, it's not good for people prone to panic attack.

Wish I'd known that.

After I puked, I still felt like I was suffocating and struggling to breathe after using it, and panic attacks at 9cm dilation are NOT fun.

I'd never have penthidine because morphine makes me trip - which is fine, when you're not gtrying to have a baby.

I think it was much as I expected.

It felt very 'physical' buut not actually painful. I was at home,used TENS from very early on, stayed upright and mobile, leaning forward on the back of the sofa etc, and then went into the pool. It did go on and on and on, but I was sky high on endorphins from the TENS and 'breathing'. I felt very 'into ' it - and didn't want G&A because i thought it might upset my feeling of being oin control. I didn't even want the homeopathic things the mws offered as i was just fine.

BUT after 3.5 hours pushing, I agreed that we needed to go to hospital DS was OP. I was still game and they tried a drip to accelarate contractions, but for the first time in labour I was on my back and immobile becase of the monitoring, and felt panicky, which caused pain and I asked fro an epidural. Bit more pushing with the drugs - and DS was hauled out by ventouse.

I felt ok. I knew we needed to transfer to hospital and was involved in the decision, knew I had done all I could, was lucky toget an epidural as soon as the interventions started, so was never in serious pain.

hi Bearmama,

Well done on getting yourself so informed pre-birth! Lots of people spend more time thinking about what pram they will buy than about the birth! There are lots of pain relief options available, as have been discussed in this thread.

I had a natural birth 8 months ago, and apart from 3rd degree tearing , everything was wonderful. There are lots of horror stories out there, and not enough positive experiences posted.

The biggest piece of advices is to let go of the fear. Fear increase the adrenline in your body, and as a result the natural endorphins & relaxin hormones are reduced. Your body needs these natural hormones to get thru. Also, we used Acupressure points for labour - they worked wonderfully. They worked so well that my hubby wasn't allowed leave the room (even to take a pee!), as when he stopped pressing the points, it really hurt. Google acupressure for labour so you can read more, or PM me for more details. I also had gas/air - which also took the edge off, and helped a little.

Your body will feel as if you have just ran a marathon, every muscle will ache - so be kind to yourself afterwards, and take your time getting back into things. You will have your beautiful little baby to help you thru! Tell any visitors in advance to bring food (casseroles/soups etc...) keep your energy up!

Best of luck!!!