Vaginal Birth or Elective Section?

[VictorianSqualor]

What would you reccommend a first time mother and why??

To the OP - I would recommend VB because I would want to avoid major abdominal surgery (if possible)

However..

I have had 3 emergency sections, they were all happy positive experiences (I had a wonderful midwife each time and thankfully babies not in distress just wouldn't come out!) I did experience labour each time (42 hrs, 36 and 24!) and was happy to know that this was the right time for them to be born IYKWIM. I was very very lucky: babies bf immediately,had very quick recoveries each time and I felt so sense of failure (I know two women who had sections who sadly felt that they did)

I would still try and avoid it if at all possible.

i think people who have had wonderful natural births, even if they were difficult and painful they were successful, might have a different take on the whole c/s scenario.
I was so scared and frightened by my whole experience trying for a VB first time round, it was so long and so confusing, and the baby's heart rate dropped, etc, and i was utterly exhausted by the time they did the emergency c section. I don't want to go through that again it was genuinely nightmarish, slipping in and out of consciousness, failed epidurals then paralysing ones, etc. Of course i would Love to have a home birth, God, I can't think of anything nicer. But having smashed my pelvis up as a child and with my previous experience, [as well as high risk factors with this baby] I feel the safest thing for my child and i would be to have an elective. I may be wrong, but I think i should be allowed to have that choice. I will definitely pay for a private room this time. I don't want many guests but i would love ds to be able to come with dh and stay as long as they want. I find hospital a very hostile environment I'm afraid.

Starlight, unfortunately birth trauma is something that only seems to be linked to a bad experience in many hospitals. Hopefully this will improve.
I had to literally fall apart in my cons office for ehr to realise how awfully scared of a CS I was this time round, even thoguh I has an EL CS with no complications last time.
Thankfully she was understanding and when I saw her last even apologised for making me cry, but it is something that seems to be less recognised if you've done either VB/CS 'successfully'.

I am shocked by the number of people who would elect to have a cs with no medical reasons.
I don't understand why anyone would do that

Youcannotbeserious,

You dont have to justify yourself to me, i do not care!

And the by the way, my dp wouldnt have been allowed to saty in my room with me and even if he were he wouldnt have and i wouldnt have wanted him to!! Why on earth blokes want to sleep in a chair/camp bed in a womens unit all night makes me smile( unless there is a serious problem with mother or baby of course). To do what exactly? Both look at a sleeping baby, fight to change a nappy. You will have plenty of practice at home!

I said goodbye to my dp and he went home to sleep in our own bed properly and get jobs done at home! Just like i wouldnt stay with him all night following a routine operation or something.

unfortunately i was told after a c section i would not be allowed either a home birth or a birthing pool in hospital, so those choices have already been taken from me.

ruty, i am sorry you had such a difficult time first time, and i wish you a far more positive birth this time.

starlight, if your pshycological scars are not being taken into account by your caregivers, that is very wrong.

carmenelectra what is right for you may not be for somebody else.

I know ruty. Some of this really does make me smile though. I just think its a shame many women are so misguided.

thanks luluama

Carmen,

My DH works abroad.

IF I have an el. CS on a Friday, he'll be able to be with me until Sunday before he has to go again. There won'be anyone fighting with me to change dirty nappies, I'm afraid!!

ANd going private means he won't be sleeping in a chair

You seem to think everyone has the same lifestyle as you!

ruty, you might wnat to have a look at

www.aims.org.uk and www.homebirth.org.uk about what to do / say if you are told you are not allowed a particular birth choice....

"I just think it's a shame many women are so misguided"

Why don't you just write " I think it's a shame many women don't have exactly the same opinion as me"

Would seem to be closer to what you mean.

it seems that so much of it is pot luck

when i was pregnant 2nd time, i was asked if i wanted a c.s at irtually every ante natal appointment, when i said, no, the sum total of my VBAC advice was , 'good for you'.

i had to work bloody hard to get my birth choice.

now that i chair the MSLC, they'll all HAVE to listen to me

Youcannot- Can't your husband take paternity leave?
I am incredulous that you want a cs to fit in with his schedule
It is major surgery!!
And if you are going to be alone so soon after the birth, VD will see you up and about much quicker

ok fair enough, none of my business. Hope it all goes to plan, so to speak!

'ANd going private means he won't be sleeping in a chair '

Or kicked out a half hour after you've given birth by csection and then your baby moved in next to you with no help at all.

Seriously, I never understood just how horrible it could be until I came here to MN AND experienced appalling treatment myself.

I don't blame you one bit.

In fact I might be right in back of you in the queue.

Oooh yes ruty. Do not allow them to push you around, the EL CS I have spoken about was 'forced' onto me by a consultant that seemed to rely on the fact I didn't know I could argue.
I will not be having that type of intervention this time round.
There is a lady on my antenatal thread having a HBA2C, I'm having a VBA2C (even thoguh they desperately want to CS at 38weeks) and I know of many others who have pushed for their choice of birth and got it.

MrsR - Thanks.... I really would like to consider a VB because (if it goes well) then, yes, I'd be much better off in the weeks after the birth, but I am erally scared that it won't and I'll be on my own.... That really freaks me out, this is my first baby... I mean, there are so many questions... I don't even know how you tell when you have to go to the hospital etc. I do feel like a very green novice at all of this.

No, we both need to work. My DH has a court order for his ex and two kids and we've agreed not to vary this, plus we need a bit more space, so that means a bigger mortgage... taking weeks off just isn't an otion...

Sorry, I've totally hijacked this thread now.

I do appreciate that loads of you have done this before / have friends / family / DPs about... But we're not all in the same boat.

As I said, deciding to go private wasn't an easy decision at all, but it does seem better than the alternative.

One of my bf had a hbac and I am so proud of her. She had to pay for an independent mw to do it tho' as NHS wouldn't back her up.

my dh was kicked out without so much as a hello, minutes after birth in the observation ward. Then a very hostile midwife, whom i had asked for help with breastfeeding, shoved my little ds aggressively onto my breast, he started to scream and she said she was going to 'walk him around to calm him down' I didn't know how to say no to her. I was alone and unable to move after the epidural. I kept buzzing and no one came, eventually someone else came and told me my baby was 'having a good feed'. The woman had given him donated breast milk, signed out for another baby, without my consent. He was a huge overdue baby and the donated breast milk was for prems. I was distraught. It was extremely hard to establish breastfeeding after that, but we did eventually. I don't want to go back there tbh. Like you expat, I would consider going abroad if it were at all possible.

[sorry for hijack!]

If someone feels as terrible about a possible VB as I do a possible CS, then I do understand. Never thoguht I'd say that, but I od.
Unfortunately I still may have to have a CS, so have had to come to terms with that, and think anyone in the same boar wrt a Vb should try to as well, just for their own piece of mind.

the thought of being caught out in this NHS trust with a VB, or csection for that matter, chills me to core, to be frank.

sad, but true.