How long were you in hospital for as a FTM?

[marleyandme]

Just that really, interested to know how long you were in hospital for e.g. What time of day was it when you went, had you laboured at home for a while before going in, how long did it take before you delivered and then how long before they let you out?

I know it varies massively and there's no way to know but I think my DH seems to feel it's going to be a quick pop in and be out again within 12 hrs. He's very concerned about not being able to shower to wash his hair each day 😂😂 priorities right?!

Waters broke around 5pm, I went to the hospital around 11pm - I was 5cm dilated at that point. Gave birth at 8pm the next day. Then I had to stay for 24 hours (because my waters broke more than 24 hours before the birth, which means there is a higher risk of infection, so they like to keep an eye on you) and went home the following evening. So I was in hospital for approx 45 hours in total.

I was there total of 3 nights.

Night one I went in due to painful contractions (wasn't that dilated though) but had latent labour for ages and had enough of the pain at that point)

The following night I gave birth (14hrs active labour)

Had quiet a hard time giving birth so had an extra night in to keep and eye on me and baby.

I stayed for five weeks , but I suffered post natal kidney failure. Pre eclampsia first, delivered by emergency c section the day after going in, then full blown eclampsia after delivery, and then my kidneys started failing. Hospital appts for a year after and fully recovered, it’s very rare, I think about 1 percent of pregnancies.

Back in my day (1972) FTM's stayed in hospital for 10 days after delivery, time to rest, recuperate, practise breastfeeding. Wards were large so there was a lot of mutual support and encouragement from other new mums, and of course the midwives who examined all of us daily. Visiting times were limited and so were visitor numbers so pushy MILs had no chance to take over. By day the babies were in the ward beside their mothers, but at night they were taken away to a night nursery so we could sleep. Bottle fed babies were fed at night by the nurses, breast fed ones were brought in for a feed then taken away by the nurse to be changed. By the time we went home on day 10, we were rested, past the baby blues crying, stitches were healing, (whichever) feeding was established and we'd been bathing and (cotton) nappy changing our new babies with midwives on hand to help if needed. When you finally got home, the local midwife visited regularly to make sure all was well.

My (ex midwife) Mum thought we were being shortchanged with "only" 10 days , as in her day FTM's "lay in" for two weeks.

I had a homebirth but there were complication and we had to transfer to hospital after baby arrived. Got to hospital around 1pm (and hour and a half after DS arrived) on the Sunday and left at 8pm on the Tuesday.

(for comparison, second child was planned hospital birth due to risk of repeat complications. Arrived at hospital just after midnight, gave birth at 5.30am and went home at lunchtime. Six hour rule would have been an option even he was my first, assuming all went well).

24 hours of contractions at home before going into hospital, baby arrived 3 hours later. In for 3 days and 3 nights. This was a total shock to me as I did hypnobirthing and believed I'd be home six hours after giving birth so I was completely mentally unprepared for staying in. So I would say accept it's possible you may have to stay in for a couple of days/nights and if you get home any sooner that's a great bonus!

Everyone's different. Admitted 2pm Monday to start induction, waters broken manually midnight Tuesday, baby born by EMCS 6pm Wednesday, home Saturday.

Went in in labour around 2pm, born 6am following morning and home around 6pm later that day.

Three nights- arrived 11am, ds born 7pm, stayed 3 nights and went home after breakfast. Not uk but standard where I was whether public or private. C section is 5 days. They look after you very well.

with second babies they’re a bit more relaxed so with dd she was born 5am and I stayed 2 nights and went home.

All depends on your birth. My first we went to the hospital when contractions were regular and was only in for 7 hours. Got their at 2am Friday morning and had him at 7am.

Left hospital Sunday evening. We stayed longer so I could try and establish breast feeding. Pre covid and they were in no rush to kick me out.

Second baby was induced and I was on the induction ward from Sunday 9am till
Monday 7pm. If you get induced - send him home if nothing much is happening. I actually enjoyed chilling out for that time while they tried to they labour started!

Planned c section (breech), gave birth on the nhs paid for the private room afterwards. I stayed for two days but I think if I had been in the normal ward I would have been sent home after a day.

C section with the first - 2 days. But partners don't stay overnight.

Second kid was standard birth. They usually want you out after six hours here, but that was 4am so I stayed til visiting time at 9, so I had someone to help get him home.

DS1 induced at 7pm Tuesday night, went home to wait for contractions to start (had him abroad where outpatient inductions were typical), contractions started 1am, non-stop by 7am so we went into hospital to meet the obstetrician. He was born at 11am in the pool, we could have gone home at 5pm but we'd paid for the night (private hospital) so stayed 😂

DS2 induced Monday 7pm (this was in the UK so inpatient), went out for a Subway, came back and by 1am after the 2nd gel things went crazy. Back to back contractions and I had to have a muscle relaxant to calm things down. He was born at 11am, too. I spiked a temperature in labour so we had to stay in for five days while he had IV antibiotics. I went onto tablets the following day so could have gone home but we stayed together in transitional care rather than him going to SCBU which was amazing. I had trained at the hospital so knew the midwives and had a side room on postnatal and those five days were bliss just feeding him and being fed 😆😍 My older son got COVID (this was 2021) the day after the birth so was sent home from school and my husband couldn't even visit but honestly the staff were amazing and that time was priceless. It was bloody hot though, warm September!

Before or after?

With DC1, I was admitted for pre-eclampsia Thursday, induction started Wednesday, baby born vaginally at 1641 the following Thursday, and we went home Saturday afternoon. So 6 nights prior to baby, 2 after, so 8 in total.

DC2 was longer. Admitted for pre-eclampsia on the Tuesday, induction started on the Monday, continued on the Friday, baby born 0213 Saturday by emergency C-section. Home Monday afternoon. So 13 nights. 10.5 prior, 2.5 after.

I went in to be induced on the Tuesday morning. Nothing happened until they started me on the drip around 3am Thursday morning. DH wasn't allowed to stay overnight on the Tuesday but was with me on the Wednesday night when they broke my waters. DD was born at 1pm on the Thursday and I was home by 7.30pm that night! It probably would have been an hour earlier if I'd been able to produce the magic wee they needed before they'd discharge me!

11 nights. I won't get into it.

Went in Sunday night about 9pm, DS born 5:30 am, checked out by about 4pm. Water birth in hospital-based birthing centre, never on labour ward, baby never left our sides.

I laboured at home for about 12 hours. Went to hospital

Baby born about 4 hours later

Went home the next day. In the hospital for about 26 hours in total

I’m not in the UK so it might be slightly different. I had a routine midwife’s appointment on a Thursday, 3 weeks before the baby was due. I had pre eclampsia so was admitted and had the baby that evening. I left the hospital on Monday. I was supposed to stay until a Tuesday but one of the nurses was annoying me and the doctor saw me bouncing around and asking to be discharged so he was happy to let me go.

From arrival to leaving about 26 hours

I was induced and had an epidural

I was admitted at 2:30am, was already 10cm at that point (long story!) and gave birth at just after 4am. I ended up staying the day and then the night due to a couple of reasons (my own issue of not feeling the need to wee despite my bladder being full to the brim, and baby not being interested in feeding). Then Due to there only being one midwife on the postnatal ward I then had to wait until 7pm to be discharged the following day.

So in total, I was in for less then 2 hours before baby was born but then for about 40 hours after she arrived x

What happened if you had other young children at home and no family to take them?

My great grandmother was just sent home with my grandmother in the thirties, but she was premature and wasn't expected to live so I'm not sure what was usual.

Laboured at home for 12 hours, hospital for 12 hours, left 25 hours after my EMCS

48 hours at home in labour, couldn't take it any more. Admitted 9pm at night, baby born 5.40am and got out at 8pm so maybe one full day in hospital. I think I was pretty set on going home although they wanted me to stay as I had a urine infection.

Second child I was admitted mid- day and left two or three days later. This time I was in no hurry to leave and just accepted the help. I used the midwives for holding baby in the night to let me sleep and recover.
I remember my aunt saying even if I'm desperate to leave, just stay and don't rush to get out and I ignored it first time round but after heeding the advice second time around I wish I had stayed longer first time

Went in at 5am in a taxi, gave birth 7.45 am. Dh was at home with ds.
Home by 2pm.