Orgasm post birth?

[thatsgood]

I had a forceps delivery with episiotomy. Currently 8 days PP and felt ok to masturbate. Did it twice but orgasms very weak - like 3/10. Please tell me this is temporary. Is this my pelvic floor weakness? Please help!

I call BS. I could barely walk 8 days after the forceps.

Omg it's unbelievable how many women cannot fathom other women having higher sex drives and seeing 'getting off' as something that makes them actually feel better.

Forceps can be more brutal than we imagine. The reality is a bit of a shock.

Oh please!
Being a good mum doesn't involve 24/7 thinking about your baby to the exclusion of everything else.

Such mummy martyrs on here. What else is on the list of things new mums can't do because it isn't child focussed? Is having a shower okay? Getting a haircut? Eating non essential food like cake? Or too much enjoyment for the Puritans?

It boils down to this; for some women, acknowledging that other women have higher sex drives than they do makes them feel insecure. Obviously, no one here will admit that.

This happened to me, but was temporary and everything returned to normal quite quickly.

@ArcticSkewer
It's not about that it's about Op going against any recommendations about letting her body heal mainly but, and rightly so people are amazed how she's more bothered about having an orgasm with a baby who is 8 days old.
Haircuts and showers and eating cakes (unless morbidly obese!) cannot cause long term vaginal wall damage

@MumOf2workOptions why the hell can’t OP do what she wants with her own body?

So much judgement on this thread.

OP the sensation will come back. Your pelvic floor muscles have had to stretch to allow the baby through. They will return to normal. Sorry the sisterhood hasn’t been more supportive.

8 days is still pretty early TBH. You need to give your body time to heal and adjust. And for everything to go back to where it was. As you've discovered, the majority of women aren't having orgasms a week after birth with surgical interventions.

If it makes you feel any better I had two csections and didn't want to do anything until at least 3 months afterwards.

When you have a baby people have this stupid idea everything springs back immediately the second the baby pops out. And you're back to what you were before after ten minutes. You will get it back. It will take weeks/months though. Which feels like forever when you're in it, but it quickly passes.

Sounds like you've had a difficult birth and having a hard time processing that. Find someone to talk to about it.

I call bollocks to that.
It was a comment about how she should be focussing on her baby.

What's that got to do with her vagina?
(And where do you think your clitoris is??)

Eating cake is worse for your body than an orgasm.

I mean yes ofcourse she is "free to do what she wants" with her body but I don't think she is aware of the longer term issues it may cause with damage down there and the healing process.

If she could just spend afew weeks (if it's not too much for her!!!) without feeling the need to orgasm it just gives time to heal properly.

If she wants years of gynae issues then she ofcourse is free to go ahead.

I just think - as clearly other posters do - she should be taking more care of herself

It would be interesting to see if she's spoken to her HV about this and what she said.

Hi all. We can't ever completely vouch for anyone but there is absolutely nothing in the OP's posting history or account that would suggest they're anything other than a genuine poster. Please do not troll hunt, it breaks our guidelines and we will suspend those who persist.

It is a priority to OP. Everyone is different

I’d argue that an orgasm is beneficial at this point. It increases blood flow to the area which aids healing. Contractions of pelvic muscles help the uterus to shrink. Oxytocin is released to calm and help with bonding.

Cakes and haircuts aren’t going to improve your uterus tone are they.

Years of gynae issues from an orgasm? Are you bonkers? That’s absurd.

Biology needs to be better taught. The difference between the vagina and the clitoris for starters. And the importance of pelvic floor exercises after birth and when to start them.

Mind you, you are also raising an interesting point because most literature focusses on when you should first have vaginal sex, or anal sex, after a birth. That could be because women's sexual needs are considered less important than her partner's. Or maybe just that it's penetrative and so risks damage to healing tissue.

I was actually told by my midwife that mutual masturbation was a useful approach in these weeks if it was something I wanted to do. And that I should start kegels asap, like a day after. An orgasm is quite a nice way to practise pelvic toning. That was my birth, obviously not ops, but she hasn't mentioned any kind of orgasm ban she is flouting!

I gave birth in France. They take your sex life more seriously there. Every woman gets shipped off for postnatal physio as well, regardless of the birth. It's personalised.

Sorry you're having a hard time OP. Theres a weird taboo around women enjoying sex, but no excuse some of the rude responses on here.

My experience of this: I had three natural births with one episiotomy (first one) and two tears. No forceps. I didn't attempt sex for a couple of months after birth and found my orgasms were muted for a while. I actually found sex different / not as great for the first six months after my first, mostly for hormonal reasons (and constant tiredness). With my second and third things bounced back quicker, because I was much more on it with my core exercises.

I'd say it's likely trauma from birth, your hormones all over the place, and pelvic floor weakness. All will pass.

From what you've said it sounds to me you were masturbating not because you were horny but because you were worried about sexual function. That worry may in itself affect your orgasm if you're worried about it. Of course it goes without saying that if you were masturbating our of horniness then all power to you and go for it. Not sure why people are taking such offence at that.

Try not to worry, give yourself time, and do core exercises (not just pelvic floor). I've got three kids and have a healthy, regular and fulfilling sex life. It does suck a bit post birth (especially if you're breastfeeding, I did with all mine/still am) but you will recover.

Gosh, this certainly seems to be the case. OP is getting an unnecessarily hard time here for asking a perfectly valid question.

OP, I've had 3 babies and always felt ready to resume sex/masturbation fairly quickly after each of them. Like you, I find it's a way to relax, connect with myself and bond with my partner. And also in those early days, a moment to just feel a bit more like 'myself'! I had c sections for all of my births, but definitely still found sensation was dull in the early days. I'm 12 weeks PP currently and I'd say everything feels pretty much back to normal now.

Given the birth you had, it's probably going to take some time for things to heal in that area. It takes SO long for everything to go back to normal after having baby. People don't talk about it enough. It'll probably take a good year or so for your body to fully feel like your own again. I know that feeling of fear that you're going to be a mangled mess for life, but you won't be I promise!

I went through the same as you and no way was masturbation on the top of my list at 8days pp. I was in too much pain

100%

Well you've not been here that long then if you don't realise that they do come here for stories to get off on.

All I'll say to anyone commenting is not to go into detail

Maybe I just have a naive view of the world if I find it baffling that anyone would find physical trauma to a woman's pelvic floor sexually arousing????? Sorry I asked, maybe my sex drive is higher than I thought. Sure, guess I'll just ask my hv/gp in a rushed appointment and not be able to benefit from the perspective of other women. I'm fairly young and none of my friends have had kids, hence why I am asking here