I am very scared to deliver a baby under the NHS after hearing so many horror stories.

[Nature-Thrive]

For starters, I am a mother to an 8 year old. I am originally from the USA and that is where I delivered my son. I had amazing care and my OBGYN was called when I went into labour. She saw my care from start to finish, including postpartum. I struggled a lot and needed a ton of support and I had great insurance so it was available to me.

Before I start, please understand that I am in no way trying to bash the NHS. All I am doing is trying to figure out how to get good care again.
I haven't had the best experience under the NHS and after talking to some local moms, I am very scared to have a baby here.

We are based In Birmingham and I had a horrible experience at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital to the point where even driving by the hospital causes me anxiety. It was so bad that it's been escalated to hospital heads and we will be having a sit down.

Can anyone provide any insight or advice on what I should do? Do I move to a different area to access another trust? If so, where would you recommend?
Thank you so much.

PS - I do not want an NHS debate by any means and please don't tell me to "go back to my country". I got plenty of that over on Reddit.

the NHS and American hospitals generally take quite a different approach to childbirth. This is not a right/wrong thing per se, it's just a different country and culture. I'd recommend you read up on how the NHS approaches labour and why, so you know what to expect and understand why different decisions might be made. This will also help you advocate for the birth you want/expect. Generally, there is more intervention in America, such as stretch and sweeps before active labour or induction before 41 or so weeks.

www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/birth-activists-briefing-professional-midwifery-advocate

Are you worried about risk or unpleasantness? On balance, yes, private will be a more attentive and generally nice experience, with more privacy, quiet and recovery time, but from what I have heard it is higher risk if anything goes wrong as private hospitals do not have, or don't always have the facilities/staff to deal with emergencies. If going private, I'd want to know what happens in case of an emergency - do they have easy access to full hospital care? I think there are some private units that are attached to NHS hospitals in some way, which might be your best bet, but not sure how common this is.

I can understand being a bit worried about NHS, as can it vary a lot from hospital to hospital, but I think being 'very scared' is an overreaction. I don't think I've heard of any terrible experiences among friends and family in terms of NHS care - the only bad stories have just been especially hard births that weren't the fault of the care context.

@Echobelly - I developed severe postanatal OCD and became suicidal after my son. Had it not been for the care I received, I may not be here today.

@Nature-Thrive unless that happened very quickly after your birth while you were still in hospital, here that would be initially dealt with by your GP

When you fall pregnant and attend your first community midwife appointment, usually around 8-10 weeks into the pregnancy and based at your GP surgery, you can request your hospital care at a different local hospital. As long as the hospital you choose is within a practical travelling distance there shouldn't be an issue, there's no reason you have to go to the QE.

With each of my pregnancy's I've chosen to give birth in a hospital that wasn't my nearest one. Each time I was referred without argument or push back.

@StarCourt - I got bad within the first hour after having him. I needed a lot of help and targeted therapies. All my GP is going to do is pump me up full of pills.

I know someone who developed postpartum psychosis and received brilliant care the minute she got in touch for help.

With a previous history of mental health problems in pregnancy the NHS seems to have a system to that puts support in place from the moment you’re pregnant. There are specialist midwives who look after women who are at risk of MH complications pre/postnatally.

Once you are pregnant you should inform the community midwife team straight away of your history and they should put things in place to look after you.

@StarCourt I also became extremely sensitive to sound and would get panic attacks from noise, so much so they had to remove my son. I waited a long time to have another child because of how bad I can get.
This would be high risk on account of my mental health. The NHS sounds great when it comes to getting the baby out, but I do worry if they just leave me alone with a child there overnight while I'm unwell. Do you know what I mean? I don't know how to approach this with the NHS. No shade, but mental health is not really taken all that seriously. When it comes to managing mental health they hand out meds like skittles

I had a very bad experience on the nhs giving birth as well as aftercare. If you can afford private do it!

Also - nhs mental health probably even worse. If you can invest privately in this, I would.

@INeedNewShoes thank you for the information. I am in no way bashing the NHS. I told myself I wouldn't overshare, but three years ago I terminated because I got so bad that I became a danger to myself. When I went to the community mental health, the nurse on staff asked me to Google the type of medication that is safe in pregnancy and then call the team so they can write me a prescription. I then went off the rails and they simply called cps on me. No help was ever provided so I ended up terminating. I am trying to get things in place to ensure I have a safe pregnancy, hence why I'm posting before I'm even pregnant.

Nhs is currently broken and delivers patchy, substandard care at times.

Women’s hospital in Birmingham is the best place I’ve had a baby, compared to other hospitals.

You need to advocate for yourself and be assertive.

You’ll likely be out same day or next day- even with csection it’s next day.

@TheKitchenSinkkk thank you for your input. I truly appreciate it. More than likely we will go private.

I am openly bashing the nhs.

Women’s healthcare is shocking. It’s a disgrace.

@Axahooxa my husband will be doing the advocating on my behalf. I am not good at standing up for myself.

I don’t blame you. The NHS isn’t fit for purpose and especially for women having babies

I had a horrific experience with my first. Second time I told them how scared I was and was promised a more experienced midwife. All was good. I would have considered a doula had my anxiety remained

you can criticise the NHS all you like to me - it has caused me a lot of suffering

@BeethovenNinth I am so sorry you had a horrible experience. Childbirth is hard enough as it is without experiencing obstetric abuse.

You're being ridiculous

Please do go private. In a unit which is attached to an NHS neonatal unit which is what i did. I am involved, in my professional life, in legal actions against NHS trusts in obstetrics cases. Pay the money for private.

I had a wonderful experience, elective cesarean, no questioning of my choice, epidural cannula in for three days, never felt a bit of pain, lovely postnatal experience.

I wish, wish, wish I’d gone private, for the sake of my DD. And the NHS has gone downhill since then.

I am sure the majority have a good or not awful experience but there are just too many terrible stories. Incl mine.

I absolutely would not use the NHS for anything if I can possibly help it. No shade on anyone who does. People knock it all the time, but private health insurance in the UK is not expensive if you budget properly. The only issue with it is that due to the NHS structure making it so the the NHS is ever-present (it's one of the largest employers in the country with roughly 1 in 10 people working for it in some capacity) you still have to refer yourself to a private firm through your GP (who was likely just going to fob you off anyway). Good luck xx

Given your history then it sounds like private may be best for you as your concerns are about your mental health and understandably needing to know you'll get attention and support when you need it. A busy nhs ward is not likely to be the best at providing that, certainly. Best of luck and I your things go more easily for you this time, whatever you decide.