I am very scared to deliver a baby under the NHS after hearing so many horror stories.

[Nature-Thrive]

For starters, I am a mother to an 8 year old. I am originally from the USA and that is where I delivered my son. I had amazing care and my OBGYN was called when I went into labour. She saw my care from start to finish, including postpartum. I struggled a lot and needed a ton of support and I had great insurance so it was available to me.

Before I start, please understand that I am in no way trying to bash the NHS. All I am doing is trying to figure out how to get good care again.
I haven't had the best experience under the NHS and after talking to some local moms, I am very scared to have a baby here.

We are based In Birmingham and I had a horrible experience at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital to the point where even driving by the hospital causes me anxiety. It was so bad that it's been escalated to hospital heads and we will be having a sit down.

Can anyone provide any insight or advice on what I should do? Do I move to a different area to access another trust? If so, where would you recommend?
Thank you so much.

PS - I do not want an NHS debate by any means and please don't tell me to "go back to my country". I got plenty of that over on Reddit.

i went privately but was quite a few years ago. If you search private hospitals in your area they will have a OGBYN and speak to them. My constant was amazing and you get so many checks throughout the pregnancy. I gave birth in an NHS hospital but in the private wing. My constant did both nhs and private work at that hospital. The difference in how I was treated was incredible. You don’t get left in pain or waiting for meds. Try searching Sprire or BMI hospitals in Birmingham to find a constant.

@Herbyhippo how do I go about hiring someone to advocate for me? I don't know where to start.

I hired a doula when I gave birth to DC2 (after a less than positive experience with DC1) and would strongly recommend it.

I couldn't justify going fully private but I found that hiring a doula was an excellent cost-effective way of navigating the NHS system with a supportive person who could advocate for me if needed. She also helped considerably with my anxiety about the birth throughout my pregnancy, which was one of the most helpful things she did actually.

If you can afford to go private, go for it, but a doula is good alternative option for those who can't.

I had all 3 of mine in QE womens in Birmingham. My friends and family have all had their babies there too.
It is lovely, the midwives were amazing. The rooms were clean in both the birthing centre and delivery suites. I know 2 babies born there this year and the mums had no complaints.

Of course you heard stories...nobody ever documents their amazing stories...only complaints.

If it's a doula you want you can search here doula.org.uk

As you're not even pregnant yet I'd go private so they cover you. This is a very big assumption from you that your birth experience will be shit.

If you don't want to use the nhs then don't. You can go private or go back to the us. Those are your options if you don't want to use out shitty birth services here.

Your choice: maybe you should get some help psychologically if random people on the internets experiences are affecting your mental health when you're not even pregnant

Hospital maternity services have a bad rep at the moment and some of that is well deserved. Have you considered a home birth? I'm not sure about the level of medical support you needed for your first pregnancy/birth but a home birth actually gives you much better midwifery cover as two midwives need to be available and therefore you have a much better ratio of staffing. It's not always an option though if there are predicted complications that would require a hospital setting. I think a key thing to remember is that childbirth is a natural process and we have medicalised/pathologised it. Pain relief is available for home births too with everything other than an epidural being available.

A friend of mine gave birth in the us and her experience was awful, should I go from that that every birth in the us is as traumatic as hers?

Can you even use the nhs for free as an American citizen?

Would you consider a home birth? Birmingham has a great home birth team then you get the focus of lovely midwives in the comfort of your own home.

You need local knowledge. Everyone where I live says one hospital is not a good place to give birth and the other hospital is great.
The NHS is like any system, made up of individual parts, some good and some bad. Ask around locally to find the best places to give birth. Unless you are very rural you will usually have more than one option.

If you have a vaginal delivery you can normally be discharged within six hours of giving birth. Make sure you have planned for the after birth but. Whether that is having the freezer full of pre made food to microwave, or having family around to help.

If you want an epidural make sure you tell your partner to help you advocate for this early on. Some places are reluctant to give epidurals.

From what I have read the UK actually has better outcomes than the US, safety-wise. So despite the cushy hospitals and ultra medicalisation it appears to actually be worse in terms of safety in the US. My experience with the nhs (2 babies) is that they keep you waiting ages, put you on shared wards, communicate REALLY badly but save your life when it matters (suspected pre eclampsia and induction both times). So it’s not comfortable but it is safe, if that helps?

I gave birth less than 3 months ago in Kent. I was induced. A couple of mistakes but overall I was well looked after. On the postnatal ward everything was clean and I was regularly given medication and hot tea by the staff. Whenever I had a question or issue I rang the buzzer and someone always came.

Doulas are simply caring people you pay to support and advocate for you. They are very popular amongst a particular subset of middle class mothers. But you don't need to pay for this. You may need someone to advocate and support you. Be wary as well,some doulas would not advocate for an epidural as they tend towards all natural births.

It sounds as though you have been reading the thankfully rare horror stories. We aren't a 3rd world country op and we do have pretty decent heath care accessible to all Brits, not just the privileged who can afford it, like the USA. If you don't like the idea of NHS you can always go private.

Search locally for a recommended doula. Maybe name change and ask on here too. Or local Facebook pages. You need recommendations really.

My first was born in a Private hospital in Germany. A basic mistake makes it a bit of a horror story. (I wasn't believed to be in advanced labour and gave birth completely alone)
My second a NHS home birth.

My NHS midwives were fantastic... they listened to all my concerns, went out of their way to make the home birth possible when they knew the history of the first birth and came through on their promise I wouldn't be left alone at any point in labour.

Having experienced a few different health care systems now, the NHS definitely isn't perfect but its a lot better than some people give it credit for. Its full of caring people (although overworked)

I would not go back to America and give birth without my partner.
Medi care is unlikely to be better than the NHS and may be worse.

Private hospitals for birth in the uk are not always safe. They tend to be like hotels with amazing food, but poor emergency care if things go wrong. I would never choose this in the uk.

I had both children privately at Queen Charlotte & Chelsea in London. Fortunately my private healthcare covered the cost from the point of birth onwards (I had planned caesareans).

But I had the antenatal on the NHS in the same hospital and it was a positive experience. I had the option of the Portland but liked the back up of the emergency department in the same building.

In your shoes, I'd pay to go privately, probably for the birth (and a consultation) and do the main antenatal part on the NHS. I can't remember what they charged (I had the surgical element so it was more expensive but it wasn't horrific). Certainly nothing like US healthcare costs. Having just checked, Queen Charlottes charge £7-8k for private delivery.

I had major surgery recently and stayed 3 nights at an HCA hospital in central London (I think they're a US healthcare group). The hospital bill (excluding specialists) came to nearly £14k. Yikes. No wonder my healthcare provider was reluctant to authorise it.

Also, plenty of people find a great NHS hospital to give birth, it's not all horror stories. It's worth doing some research to find alternatives to your current option.

What tends to be lacking in the NHS is post birth care. If you have money to spend, this is where I would spend it.

I am in the West Midlands and had 2 fantastic NHS births, really can’t fault them - check out the maternity units close to you. You don’t have to got to QE. Our maternity unit lets you do a tour so you can get a feel for the place.

2 hospitals near me....one mixed reviews from appalling to average and the other generally good....my friend was in the not so good one...dreadful time...poeple opposite smoked and stole all the tea and coffee off the free trolley...huge family...security couldnt deal with them...police called etc etc...underage mum...appx 14...no english....constant screaming and shouting etc....she walked out asap and got a cab home. go private or home.

keep you waiting ages, put you on shared wards, communicate REALLY badly but save your life when it matters

Yep this. When your in an NHS hospital your coming out safe and sound (bar a really rare drastic fuck up). It’s getting there and getting seen that presents the problem. But when your actually being seen too the care I had was exemplary.

I had a maternal request c and so pleased with the outcome. 7 weeks now and my scar is an immaculate line with no overhang or puckering. Surgeon and anaesthetist was amazing honestly. So pleased with it.

Would a private birth here cost more than you paid for your health insurance birth in the States? If not, you could always pay to go private. It's not safer but the surroundings are nicer.
Overall the UK has better birth outcomes than the USA so hopefully that is reassuring. I don't think either system is that great though. Maybe you could pay for private appointments with a midwife/consultant to monitor your pregnancy, even if they can't assist at the birth in an NHS hospital.

If you are not yet pregnant then why not see if you qualify for private health insurance in the UK?

I mean I feel that being worried about giving birth in an NHS hospital is justified, BUT those stories seem extremely exaggerated. Giving birth in a plastic chair? Blood covered wards? Not being sewn up? Making it sound like a third world country...

This wasn't my experience and I'm not sure it's many people's experience. Feeling ignored, not having aspects of the birth plan respected etc yes I can see happening in the hospital.

Can you afford to go private?