Choosing NOT to breastfeed. Any similar experiences?

[MaggieVla]

Hi. For those who have chosen not to breastfeed- did you feel guilty? Also, do you need to take some medicine to stop milk or does it simply not come if you do not start ?
Feeling guilty and judgmental- because everyone saying how important it is. However how are your formula fed babies grown? Are they healthy or do they have healh problems because of your choice? Thank you

Heartbreaking 🤣 give over

OP I didn't breastfeed any of my DC, I just didn't want to & that's all I needed to say.

I had the same midwife for all 3 & with DD1 we had the conversation about it, she went over the pros & cons of both breast & bottle then accepted my decision.

With DD2 & DS she simply asked if I still felt the same, I said yes & we moved on.

I didn't (& still don't) feel guilty about my decision.

I can't imagine forcing a new mother to breastfeed when they don't want to for whatever reason is in any way what's best for baby.

Tania64, breast milk is very obviously NOT “essential” at all, otherwise formula fed babies would all be dead!
Where are you getting your figures on IQ of breast fed versus formula fed babies? My DD was formula fed and has an IQ of 166 and a maths degree.
My generation (baby boomers) was majority formula fed, and is the longest lived, healthiest generation in history. This hardly supports your theories on the supposed essential nature or benefit of breast milk!

OP you might like to read the book Why Formula Feeding Matters by Shel Banks.

I exclusively Ff my first baby and exclusively BF my second baby. No one gives a shit apart from people like the weirdos on this thread.

I chose not to breastfeed. Was never on my radar to try and I'm happy with that decision. I just didn't want to do it. I don't feel any guilt and I didn't feel judged by anyone. Told my midwife at my booking appt and it was never mentioned again.

My son is a healthy and thriving 3 year old.

OP, people will have good and bad experiences regardless of how they choose to feed their child. Do what is right for you - you don't lose the ability to make decisions about your own body just because you birthed a child.

Oh and PS, I never once 'leaked' milk. Had a few days where my breasts felt heavy and uncomfortable. I wore a sports bra for support and it disappeared.

You don't need to "get it". Not your body, not your choice.

I didn’t breastfeed. With my first i has PND and DH had to do most of the care for the first month. Obviously he cant lactate so that was out.

Ive now had 2 FF babies. Both very intelligent, doing well at school and 95th centile. Neither have been sick and have strong immune systems. Out of all of my friends barely any managed to breast feed for more than a few days and they were all miserable.

I felt no pressure to Bf at all. My breasts dried up within about 2 weeks.

For what it’s worth Iw was formula fed yet hold a masters degree so can’t be that thick 🤔

I was formula fed that should say!

Why feel guilty? They need extra shots etc. to boost vitamins etc. so it isn't all it's cracked up to be & very impractical and stressful for mom. Our baby is due in 4 weeks and he will be formula fed. We will both share the feeds!

This simply isn’t true. Sorry, you are entitled to choose to feed your child however you wish, but to suggest that breastfed babies need ‘extra shots to boost vitamins’ is at best ill-informed and at worst dangerous.

The only additional supplement recommended for breastfed babies is vitamin D which is added to formula. Children fed by either method get the same supplement, it’s just that one comes as a liquid (usually it’s a tiny dose in a dropper), the other is in the formula.

Breastfeeding CAN be super hard. It can also be incredibly easy and very convenient. Not everyone has the same experience, the same with bottle feeding. I personally would find carrying bottles, formula etc. around and worrying about them being clean and sterilised etc. incredibly stressful. But that’s not to say other mothers feel that way!! Whatever works for you and your baby is great.

Sorry, that was in response to @Anonnnnnnm

Me, my brother and my sister were not breastfed and we are healthy, successful people in our thirties, well bonded to our Mother and to one another. My Mum feels no guilt whatsoever.

I tried to bf with my first, I didn't make enough milk despite trying for 6 weeks. It was an awful, traumatising experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I didn't bother with dd2, she's now 3 and is the funniest and smartest chick I've ever met. She can now write her name too, a year earlier than my eldest - go figure!

Don't let anyone guilt you into bf if you don't want to then that is a legit enough reason to not start. It's OK not to want a baby hanging off your tits 24 hours a day whilst you establish a routine and build up a supply. You've just done 9 months of hard graft growing the baby and you've had to push him/her out too, sometimes that's enough. Your mental health is a fragile thing after birth, try to make your life as easy as possible.

We are so lucky to have formula. I will be using it again for dd3 when she makes her appearance.

I can also confidently say that I have never sterilised a bottle.

What is "dangerous" about formula feeding though? Ridiculous reply. Both options are safe and it's down to the mother at the end of the day.

Never fully understood how nipples can be sterile but maybe that's because I have a lower IQ due to be FF 🙄

I support freedom of choice - but you must admit that breast milk is pretty amazing stuff. If you have a cold or some other virus, your breast milk starts to make antibodies that the baby ingests to protect it from the illness. That's what I call darned clever!

I'm an avid breastfeeding fan but can totally see why someone would want to ff from birth. I'm currently breastfeeding my third child and there has been literal blood, sweat and tears in order to get feeding established. My mum chose in advance to never breastfeed. She says seeing what I went through reaffirmed her decision to never do it! Yes it's natural etc but it can be absolutely brutal too. I know I felt like I was at the edge of my sanity a few times in the early weeks. Breastfeeding is a massive commitment that effects your time, how often you feed, the clothes you wear, your hormones, your weight, how long you can be away from the baby. Definitely go for the formula if that's what your instinct is telling you.

You win 'the most stupid comment on the internet' for the day

My milk didn’t come in until the 5th day with my first baby. As she was breastfed, I had no idea that she wasn’t getting any milk - she certainly sucked for long enough. We ended up back in hospital as she was severely dehydrated and jaundiced. With my second, mindful of what had happened first time round, I asked for some formula for her. I got a lecture, and you would have thought I’d asked for arsenic from the midwives.

I didn’t breastfeed either for long, and was glad to get my body back.

They aren’t. But breast milk has antibacterial properties that have yet to be replicated by formula and therefor doesn’t grow bugs in the same way. If you only use breast milk in bottles, technically they shouldn’t need sterilising.

Literally none of this is actually scientifically proven.

Bollocks it does. You seem to lack even a tiniest bit of empathy or imagination. Every women has a different situation. I fully intended on bf my first but for reasons I wouldn’t get into on someone else thread I didn’t as it wasn’t in mine or my baby’s best interested. My second is nearly 3 and still feeding. I full support bf but I also full support women. Mum’s are the backbones of families, without a health, happy and functioning Mum the rest of the family will find things a lot more difficult. The biggest thing I’ve learnt from parenting is I need to put myself first more often.

OP congratulations on your baby. Feed them however is best for your baby and that means what is best for you x

Curious to know what you mean when you say breastfeeding mothers are judged far more for their choices?