Choosing NOT to breastfeed. Any similar experiences?

[MaggieVla]

Hi. For those who have chosen not to breastfeed- did you feel guilty? Also, do you need to take some medicine to stop milk or does it simply not come if you do not start ?
Feeling guilty and judgmental- because everyone saying how important it is. However how are your formula fed babies grown? Are they healthy or do they have healh problems because of your choice? Thank you

Tried with the 1st, he went 3 days with no feeds and I was still being pressured into sticking it out! I didn't make any milk!

2nd didn't even attempt it and again made no milk.

3rd didn't attempt it again but my boobs leaked for a good 6 months after she was born.

I didn't breast feed. I kind of half heartedly trying to get some colostrum into DD in the first few days.

I didn't feel guilty. I didn't want to breast feed, I never produced milk, she didn't want to breast feed either (you've never seen a baby less keen on a nipple).

She's nearly 6yo now, healthy, smart, and we have an excellent bond.

I really struggled with BFing my DD and switched to formula after a week. She was much happier and it was really nice to be able to share the feeding role with DH. I will just be going straight to formula if I have another child.

Yes, breastfeeding has some health benefits for you and baby, but actually I don’t believe the difference is as significant as stated. There was a study that looked at families where one child was breastfed and one was formula fed (thereby eliminating the differences in the types of family and circumstances you sometimes see between breastfed and formula fed babies in studies) and found minimal difference. And then you have to weigh up the health benefits vs the impact on your life, stress, mental health, etc. For me it just wasn’t worth it and we were both happier with formula- the equation will look different for everyone and I don’t see why women should be shamed either way for choosing what they want to do with their bodies

Also people talk about how much of a faff sterilising is- I would really recommend old fashioned cold water sterilising over any of the fancy machines or microwave things. You literally just Chuck the bottles in a bucket with a Milton tablet, it’s so easy. Can leave them in there for 24 hours and just grab one when you need one

Yes I felt guilty but DS is 10 and the world was very breast is best back then. It seems much more balanced these days!
It hasn’t caused him any problems really. He’s healthy, 97th centile for height and very bright. As a baby he was on lactose free milk for a month or two and he had a couple of ear infections and croup/ coughs. This could have been due to not BF or just the way he is. He was no more unwell than any of his contemporaries who were BF.
On a population level they can spot small but statistically significant differences between BF and FF babies but on an individual level those differences will be minute. The differences are really more important in the developing world because safe FF requires good hygiene and clean water.

I chose not to breastfeed. Was 100% confident with my choice from before pregnancy. I explained this to my midwife from the start and asked that they didn't try to change my mind. I also put it on my birth plan. Not a single HCP mentioned it, my wishes were entirely respected and when DD was born, the only question they asked was if I had decided which milk so they could provide a bottle (in Scotland when I gave birth the milk was provided).

I have no guilt. I watched friends with babies at the same time desperately try to keep breastfeeding and get incredibly stressed and worried when it didn't work. Bottle feeding wasn't a faff - it was just another thing in our lives that changed. I bought the perfect prep machine and could have a fresh bottle ready in less than 5 mins. DH was able to take turns at feeding, he bonded with DD and we shared the sleepless nights burden.

My milk came in but cabbage leaves in my bra and leaving my boobs alone dried them up in a few days.

OP do whatever works for you. Fed is best, and a fed baby is generally a happier baby and that means you will be a happier mum.

Oh and they don’t give out tablets to stop you lactating- I think to punish women who don’t! Your milk will come in and it’s torture for a few days. Sage, lemsip and dehydration (lots of wine!) will help it dry up.

This is a decision I have also made (currently pg, due over summer)! I am a little sceptical who I say it to but have to say, the majority of people have been supportive and understanding of my decision. As a PP said, happy mother happy baby! And a fed baby is best!

Stick to your guns and your gut. I'm already being told how to parent, what's right and what's wrong and honestly a lot of the info is very conflicting so I just nod along and let it all go in one ear and out the other.

I breast fed my first for 8 days, second for 3 days. Hated it both times and moved to ff. babies both totally fine. 6 and 9 now and no health problems

My mother breast fed six of us ( not all at once!) during the 60’s and 70’s, when most formula fed. So, it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t or couldn’t. I could go on for ages telling you all the reasons I’m glad I did, but I also ran a child care center full of happy, healthy formula fed babies and never looked twice at anyone who chose not to. There are so many reasons to consider, and ultimately, you should do what you feel is right for you and your own reasons are nobodies business. You will be making many decisions for that baby for a long time to come, and you don’t need anyone’s permission for any choice.

I knew I'd never BF and had decided to FF from early pregnancy. Never felt guilty.

I can reassure you OP.
I have a very healthy 16 year old and 10 year old. Both FF from birth. Both fit and healthy and no issues.
I felt no guilt whatsoever.
BF not for me.

I chose not to breastfeed. Don't feel guilty, my DC are 15 and 11, perfectly healthy, happy and have no allergies. They're not fussy either, they eat healthily and very well.

I didn't take anything to stop the milk. I just left it, wore pads to protect from leaks and it just dried up.

I wasn't breastfed by my own mother, neither was DH by his.

I must admit, if I was to do it all again, I would definitely try to breastfeed but I was young the first time and just didn't like the idea of it, as daft as that sounds.

I chose not to in a fashion. I fed the first two days in hospital for colustrum. Then stopped. It was always my plan. I had bought bottles and formula. I gave some formula in hospital too.

I don't regret my choice in the slightest.

Also. I never had the sore painful boobs of 'milk coming in' it just didn't happen. So maybe it didn't come in. I will never know. Either that or my poor vagina was far too sore for me to think about anything else!!

the reason why is not your business. I have a friend who chose not to BF because it would have meant here stopping her necessary medication and she was not prepared to do this.

Oh stop with the faux naivety. Of course you "get it".

I chose not to bf. 30 years on and DD is still healthy. No regrets at all.

I didn't choose anything before my first. Breastfed for 5 weeks while both of us became increasingly miserable and then switched to formula. Much better for us all round. Baby is now 3 and robust, healthy and strongly bonded to me.

Pregnant again and have told the midwives from booking that I intend to give colostrum in hospital, but unless I have a dramatically different experience to DC1 I'll be switching to formula asap. Midwife's words were "absolutely fine, you'll not find me militantly preaching about breastfeeding, I just want happy mums and happy babies!"

I know that we have low breastfeeding rates but on all our local mum groups there is FAR more commentary from the breastfeeding mums than formula mums.

Didn’t want to breastfeed and didn’t feel guilty about it. ‘My body my choice’ is my motto so I’m not going to give myself a hard time for choosing to do what I would recommend to any woman who doesn’t feel comfortable about it for whatever reason.
I was given medication at the hospital to stop the milk from coming in, right after birth and it never caused me any fysical issues.

Sorry... should have said there is far more participation and comments from breastfeeding mums than non-breastfeeding mums

Hey OP, in France they used to give medicine to stop milk coming in to any mothers who didn’t want to breastfeed. They don’t do that anymore. When I was pregnant a couple of years ago the midwife running the antenatal classes said it was something to do with bleeding post birth. - So basically they don’t give medicine to prevent milk coming in anymore but it’s definitely not to punish women who don’t wish to breastfeed. France is pretty pro formula/ pro women getting back to pre-baby life ASAP so I think if there wasn’t a downside they’d still be giving out the tablets here.

@Tibtab

We aren’t talking about some man wanting autonomy over a woman here - this is a baby which has grown inside her and now the very purpose of her being able to breastfeed is to do so for the babies good, it’s as normal as the whole pregnancy, it’s just a continuation of that.

Its sad when not breastfeeding your own baby because you just don’t feel like it is seen as some “yeah you go girl, you have autonomy” victory for us.

I was prescribed cabergoline no problem in the UK in the last 2 years. They just don't offer it. My experience is that they will give if requested.