Page 3 | Choosing NOT to breastfeed. Any similar experiences?

MaggieVla · 2022-05-15T11:30:38+00:00

Hi. For those who have chosen not to breastfeed- did you feel guilty? Also, do you need to take some medicine to stop milk or does it simply not come if you do not start ? Feeling guilty and judgmental- because everyone saying how important it is. However how are your formula fed babies grown? Are they healthy or do they have healh problems because of your choice? Thank you

DeePlume · 15/05/2022 14:54

I didn't breast feed my second. I had such a difficult time breast feeding my first it really affected the first few weeks with him and my mental health. I didn't want that to happen again so decided not to. I never received any judgment from anyone including health care professionals. I never felt guilty as I knew it was for the best for everyone. My daughter is now 7, healthy and very bright.

My milk never came as I never started feeding so didn't need any medication or anything!

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 14:55

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 15/05/2022 13:31

Because that’s her choice.

I had one ff and bf baby neither is the easy option. They both have the positives and negatives.

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@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas

When it concerns the baby, breastfeeding only has positives. That’s the whole point, it’s literally best for the baby. Why would you choose ahead of time not to?

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 14:58

Inthesameboatatmo · 15/05/2022 13:40

@Tamoz85. Because some women me included just really don't want to for whatever personal reasons that may be. I personally didn't want to do it because the thought of it made me feel weird. I didn't want anything near my nipples at all. That doesn't make me a bad mother or that I don't have a strong bond with my children. I tried to breastfeed with my first born after much unneeded pressure from midwives. It felt disgusting and that's the truth and the fact professionals kept banging on about it puts added pressure. It's as personal a choice as choosing to breastfeed. No one waynif feeding a baby is better than the other.

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@Inthesameboatatmo

Actually they’re not the same, breastfeeding is proven to be better. I’m sorry but thinking it is “disgusting” and “weird” really isn’t a good reason not to at all.

PeaceLily2000 · 15/05/2022 15:00

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 13:14

I don’t get it? Why would you choose not to unless for medical reasons?
There’s a good reason we are able to breastfeed and babies instinctively want it.

🙄

Sunnytwobridges · 15/05/2022 15:02

Babyvenusplant · 15/05/2022 13:25

Because she doesn't want to and that's absolutely fine

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This.

OP I chose not to breastfeed and have no regrets. My DD rarely caught a cold, was healthy and active and graduated from school with honors. No one batted an eye that I didn’t but found that all my friends I’ve met since she was a baby seem to be a little judgmental when they find out I didn’t. But I don’t care as I did what was best for US and it turned out just fine.

Mommabear20 · 15/05/2022 15:04

I tried with my first, but it didn't work out, so with my second I made the decision that he would be formula fed from the start, I didn't feel guilty then and I don't feel guilty now! Both kids are happy and healthy! Is always recommend trying it, but that's my personal feelings! Don't let anyone else make you feel guilty over a personal decision! Do what works for you

Confusion101 · 15/05/2022 15:06

@Tamzo85 I think you are on the wrong thread! The OP is specifically looking for the experience of people who chose not to breastfeed. So perhaps you can take yourself and your extremely judgemental and rude commentary elsewhere!

DogsAndGin · 15/05/2022 15:11

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 13:14

I don’t get it? Why would you choose not to unless for medical reasons?
There’s a good reason we are able to breastfeed and babies instinctively want it.

🤣🤣🤣 troll

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 15:14

@DogsAndGin

Not at all. I just don’t understand how you can decide this ahead of time knowing the benifets to baby and having no idea how it will be for you?

Inthesameboatatmo · 15/05/2022 15:26

@Tamzo85. I really couldn't give a toss what you think because it's personal choice and preference. I'm glad you are holier than thou about it. Give yourself a pat on the back for thinking you actually have an opinion on how or why another woman chooses to feed her baby. The opinion you have and choose to try to push on others is irrelevant.

Mariposista · 15/05/2022 15:34

I let it be known from the word go that I would not be breast feeding and that I would like my mum to give the first feed if possible (as my gran did for me). Everyone was happy, and I don't give a stuff about anyone who harps on about BF. We have a wonderful family bond and healthy kids without it.

Steelesauce · 15/05/2022 15:38

I have 3 kids, first breastfed til 2, second I gave up after 3 weeks (short tongue) and my 3rd I didn't bother at all because I had 3 kids and didn't have the time for it. All healthy, you can't tell the difference in any of them. If anything, my first is the most 'sickly' of the trio. Never had judgement from anyone on how I fed my babies in real life, only from keyboard warriors online.

AclowncalledAlice · 15/05/2022 17:05

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 14:58

@Inthesameboatatmo

Actually they’re not the same, breastfeeding is proven to be better. I’m sorry but thinking it is “disgusting” and “weird” really isn’t a good reason not to at all.

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Well they were good enough reasons for me. Nobody but me (yep not even DP), touches my breasts and the idea of someone, no matter how big or small that someone maybe, putting my nipple in their mouth just gives me the shudders.

TheUnexpectedPickle · 15/05/2022 17:07

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 13:14

I don’t get it? Why would you choose not to unless for medical reasons?
There’s a good reason we are able to breastfeed and babies instinctively want it.

None of your business really, is it.

Stay in your lane.

romdowa · 15/05/2022 17:14

I choose not to breast feed , I needed to go back on medication after pregnancy and it wasn't safe for breastfeeding. Never felt guilty in the slightest. Although I suffered so badly when my milk came in , the agony and blocked ducts. It lasted two weeks and in that 2 weeks I became sorely tempted to breastfeed but it turns out baby has a host of allergies and I'd have had to stop anyway

Tania64 · 15/05/2022 17:17

It's hearbreaking reading this. Breast milk is essential for a baby to build immunity and to receive optimum nutrition. It's also safer as to avoid contamination from bottles & teats that may not be sterile. Add to that the wonderful bond between Mother & child & the fact that breast fed humans are generally more intelligent than formula fed & it's a no brainer.

CTR1000 · 15/05/2022 17:18

Healthcare professionals honestly don’t judge - if you want to FF they’ll support you to do this (in my experience).

Boobs will generally be a bit engorged for a few days then settle. If really painful some gentle hand expression will release some milk without stimulating the production of too
much more.

This all said, I’m aware of the formula shortages in the USA at the minute - bit scary. Hopefully won’t become an issue in the UK, but might be something I’d consider if I was choosing how to feed just now.

HollyRams88 · 15/05/2022 17:18

Tamzo85 · 15/05/2022 13:14

I don’t get it? Why would you choose not to unless for medical reasons?
There’s a good reason we are able to breastfeed and babies instinctively want it.

What don't you get? She has said she doesn't want to. Why is not enough for you?

Grotbag81 · 15/05/2022 17:19

I chose not to. Nurse asked in hospital how I would be feeding Baby said formula. There was no pushing, judgement or looks from the hospital staff or HV.

Do what is right for you and baby.

MolliciousIntent · 15/05/2022 17:21

cafedesreves · 15/05/2022 14:32

I know that we have low breastfeeding rates but on all our local mum groups there is FAR more commentary from the breastfeeding mums than formula mums.

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What do formula mums need support with? The instructions are literally on the tin.

MolliciousIntent · 15/05/2022 17:22

Tania64 · 15/05/2022 17:17

It's hearbreaking reading this. Breast milk is essential for a baby to build immunity and to receive optimum nutrition. It's also safer as to avoid contamination from bottles & teats that may not be sterile. Add to that the wonderful bond between Mother & child & the fact that breast fed humans are generally more intelligent than formula fed & it's a no brainer.

Ahhhhh you're not allowed to say things like that anymore! Fed is best! Because apparently not feeding at all is an option, and fed is not the bare minimum.

GeminiTwin · 15/05/2022 17:23

Tania64 · 15/05/2022 17:17

It's hearbreaking reading this. Breast milk is essential for a baby to build immunity and to receive optimum nutrition. It's also safer as to avoid contamination from bottles & teats that may not be sterile. Add to that the wonderful bond between Mother & child & the fact that breast fed humans are generally more intelligent than formula fed & it's a no brainer.

Oh get a grip.

dumdumduuuummmmm · 15/05/2022 17:26

I have no idea if the general public will judge or not. I guess like many many choices we make, people will question those choices if they choose differently. Vegan, vegetarian or omnivore, conservative or labour, private or state. Personally I wouldn't say anything because I have no idea why a woman is doing what she is doing. But feeding my child a highly processed food as their sole surge of nourishment from birth is weird to me. But then I stay away from highly processed foods as an adult so it makes sense that I would feel that way. If on the other hand someone didn't mind surviving on highly processed foods then feeding it to their baby would be consistent with their approach.

Summerwetordry · 15/05/2022 17:42

I bf all of mine and didn't enjoy it at all. I don't get the eulogising over it. It was a tie, babies needed feeding almost constantly and nobody could give any help. They were always screaming with hunger until I weaned them and I had loads of milk that spurted everywhere. I wish that I had formula fed, so don't feel bad or pressured OP. It's not wonderful and certainly didn't feel like a great achievement. I know that it's supposed to be the best food for babies, but mine were allergic to so much of what I ate, I was on a restricted diet for months.

Bumply · 15/05/2022 17:45

Breastfeeding is not best for the baby if they put no effort into it and end up starving themselves.
I bf ds1 for 3 weeks with support from hv before we both gave up and I switched to formula.
It was much easier to bond with a well fed contended baby than one who was asleep more than was good for him and crying when awake (until he lost the strength to cry)

DS2 I managed to breast feed for 4 months which removed some of the guilt of not succeeding with ds1.

In terms of overall health re breastfeeding v formula they're both over 6' in their 20s and it was ds2 who had asthma and more illnesses along the way.