Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Terrified to get my vag out

69 replies

sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:26

Hey! So I'm booked for my first s+s with a midwife next week. And honestly I am SO scared about getting my vag out and having her touch it lmao. I know it's kinda what I signed up for getting pregnant and it's all part of it, but it's making me so nervous! Any tips to give me less stage fright will help. Thank you!

OP posts:
obstacalling · 02/03/2022 19:29

I didnt the lovely midwife id been meeting
For several months to see my vag either. It felt weird

I never needed a sweep. I also declined her kind offer to inspect my stitches afterwards

ofwarren · 02/03/2022 19:32

You are lucky. I got a man with MASSIVE hands who did mine at the hospital. Very painful.

tiredanddangerous · 02/03/2022 19:33

Try and remember that whilst it's weird for you, the midwife sees literally dozens of vaginas every week! Yours is just one among many op!

Original poster
sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:33

@obstacalling right!? Even though it's their job and they probably see so many a day, it still feels weird.
I'm overdue and need to get this baby out! So that's the only reason I agreed to have a sweep before going in for full induction

OP posts:
Original poster
sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:34

@ofwarren omg I'd be even more terrified than I already am! I feel for you with that one

OP posts:
Original poster
sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:35

@tiredanddangerous crippling stage fright has completely taken over! I try and tell myself this every time I get scared 😂

OP posts:
MattHancocksPrivateNurse · 02/03/2022 19:39

@sbananas I’m a nurse and work in gynae and honestly honestly honestly we couldn’t care less. When people get all shy and embarrassed it’s honestly such wasted energy and just makes it all take longer! Whip your vag our with wild abandon she will not care.

Moody123 · 02/03/2022 19:39

I w we as speaking to my midwife with my first and she said ... she could look at them all day long but eyes gave her the creeps ... she said she didn't know how opticians do it ...
it made me so at ease it must just be like them turning on a computer of okeghing

Moody123 · 02/03/2022 19:40

*turning on a computer or going for a meeting ... it's just normal to them

Original poster
sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:40

@MattHancocksPrivateNurse this made me feel so much better! Thank you

OP posts:
Spud1130 · 02/03/2022 19:40

They literally delve around in vaginas all day.

I knew my community midwife in a professional capacity but fortunately she never had to have a delve. One of the midwives in the labour suite was literally elbow deep trying to put a clip on baby's head when she asked where she knew me from. Aside from being a midwife, she was a part time fitness instructor at my local gym Blush

Original poster
sbananas · 02/03/2022 19:41

@Moody123 never thought of it like that! Slightly less of a nervous wreck now lol

OP posts:
JemimaTiggywinkle · 02/03/2022 19:44

Honestly don’t worry. Have you had a smear test? It’s not dissimilar to that.
I used to feel the same as you, but once you’ve actually had your baby you will have got it out so often you just won’t care anymore.

Cocona · 02/03/2022 19:49

Have you ever had anyone root about down there for unfun reasons? It's a bit daunting at first and still is in the run up every time. Once you're there though they generally put you right at ease and you've really got nothing that they haven't seen before.

LouisaLovesMice · 02/03/2022 19:49

Well I'd think of it like, if the sweep works I might avoid induction, which is often more unpleasant than a spontaneous birth (not always though of course). So I'd rather the embarrassment of a sweep to increase my chances of an easier birth.
One good thing about childbirth is that it really helps you get much less embarrassed about getting your vag out for medics. Nothing is as up close as that! Grin

shepabear · 02/03/2022 19:51

I thought I'd be the same when I was pregnant, but by the time I got to hospital in labour I couldn't have cared less. And my midwife had a student midwife training with her, so I got (and consented to!) two checks to see how dilated I was each time so that the student could learn and then the experienced midwife could double check. And then once I had been administered pethidine I was away with the fairies for a lot of time so any worries about my vagina being on display were out of the window. You genuinely get used to it while in labour and it's so normal for the midwives that I can't imagine they even bat an eyelid.

Iamkmackered1979 · 02/03/2022 19:58

My first pregnancy I bled a lot then I got a pionidal abscess and anti d injections, so between my vag and my bum by time I was ready to give birth I’d lost the fear of getting it out. Every time I bled they checked things (I don’t even know what they ‘checked’ now it was 21 years ago but that practise has stopped thank goodness (also bled with ds2) I then had 3 more children and many smear tests. It doesn’t become normal but you get less embarrassed as the drs/nurse/midwives don’t care they are just doing a job.
Hope it goes well op, I was overdue with ds4 I didn’t think he’d ever come, until he did v fast.

optimistic40 · 02/03/2022 20:11

I thought I would be shy in labour and didn't give a toss in the end. They see so many fannies a week, and could not care less about how yours looks etc.

Hope it all goes really well for you!

Northernsoullover · 02/03/2022 20:15

This will make you laugh. One of my sons school friends is a midwife. I recognised her straight away when my son started reception. It did come up in conversation in the pub that it's not every day I chat about the weather with someone who had seen my nethers. It was me that brought it up. She was very professional Wink

Hotpinkangel19 · 02/03/2022 20:17

I had the same, I had an internal and sweep booked, and one of the school mums appeared around the curtain! She did offer to swap with someone but I just let her get on with it!

Wizzbangfizz · 02/03/2022 20:18

Have you never had a smear OP?

MonsterSister · 02/03/2022 20:20

One of mine was delivered by my next-door-but-one neighbour. The chances were pretty high, really, as we seem to live in Midwife and Medic Street.

Misreadprob · 02/03/2022 20:21

After 4 kids I really don't care anymore it's their job unkempt garden and all. They usually ask about your kids or general mundane stuff to help it be it completely non sexual and routine

Xigris · 02/03/2022 20:22

My actual friend was my midwife! It was fantastic. I had home births and needed a sweep with the 2nd one which she did in my bedroom while my husband put the kettle on Grin.

Honestly, don’t worry, do you work? Because vags to midwives are what hair is to hairdressers, computers are to IT workers, teeth are to dentists etc etc you get the idea.

Many congratulations and honestly, don’t worry

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/03/2022 20:25

No-one looked at my vagina until I gave birth 🤷‍♀️ (1995 and 2003).

My tummy was exposed often, but nothing else. Why would it be Confused