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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What does your ‘ideal’ birth look like?

99 replies

Cheekypeach · 17/02/2022 19:41

..and what did you get?

My ideal birth would be to go into labour naturally, have an epidural & baby born without pain or assistance. Maybe 4 hours start to finish?! Not too fast but relatively speedy.

What I got was a loooooong induction, failed epidural, long pushing stage & finally forceps. All good now but hoping number 2 will be easier!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekypeach · 17/02/2022 20:01

Bumpety bump Wink

OP posts:
blueoranges · 17/02/2022 20:20

My ideal was a water birth, just gas and air if needed and reasonably quick. I really really wanted to avoid an epidural if I could.

What I got was a 28 hour excruciating back to back labour, had to get out of the pool so I could have stronger pain relief, which then made me really sick. Ended in a bad tear and 2 hours in surgery to stitch me back together. Smile it was traumatic to say the least.

tealandteal · 17/02/2022 20:21

Someone beams the baby out a la Star Trek

Gigitree · 17/02/2022 20:24

What I wanted: a serene calm water birth with just gas and air, on all fours and definitely not on my back legs in stirrups

What I got: refusal to allow me into the birthing pool as suspected big baby and worries of shoulder dystocia, stuck on my back, legs in stirrups, failed epidural, 3rd degree tear but only 9 mins of pushing and a very healthy happy 9lb 1oz baby girl 😍

WotsitMum · 17/02/2022 20:24

My first I wanted a water birth at the local birth centre.... birth centre closed due to covid.... growth scan at 37 weeks showed baby had stopped growing so they induced me the same day, failed, baby got stressed and heart rate droped... ended up in an emergency c-section. Closest I got to a water birth was loosing my mucus plug in the bath during my induction😂

Due with seccond in july and im going straight for a planned c-section, no stress, relaxed enviroment and I know what is to come so nothing to worry about. I know the recovery is harder but worth it for a less stressfull birth than my first... I hope!

tealandteal · 17/02/2022 20:25

My ideal birth this time would be to start around 5am on a weekday, drop DS at school, into hospital, deliver baby around lunch ( water birth) and then home in time for DS to get back from school.

With DS first contraction was at 9pm, into hospital at midnight, had to get out of the birthing pool due to bleeding, DS born at 5am. I had a PPH, DS wouldn’t latch so we tipped him up with formula. Discharged at 4pm barely able to stand. However I still feel lucky compared to some other’s experiences.

SickAndTiredAgain · 17/02/2022 20:26

I wanted a water birth at home with just g&a.

Which I did get. But I also got a haemorrhage and a ride in an ambulance shortly after.

JustWonderingIfYou · 17/02/2022 20:31

Wanted a shortish labour with a water birth, gas and air, nothing stronger!

Got 28hr labour, given pethidine so no pool. No tears and out of birth centre in 4 hours so all in all it was quite good.

Fastforwardtospring · 17/02/2022 20:32

Perfect water births can happen, it did second time round with DD, first birth with DS though was a different experience altogether, one I obviously blocked out to even consider giving birth a 2nd time.

Theneverendingcleaningcycle · 17/02/2022 20:34

I'd like to go to sleep and wake up to a baby all washed and sleeping next to me...
Or a calm water birth with gas and air I suppose is more likely.

26dX · 17/02/2022 20:37

My ideal scenario was water birth with gas and air (isn't most peoples haha)
I was induced at 40+6 due to reduced movements.

Waters broke at 12pm, que excruciating pain and the midwife telling me I couldn't push!! Tell my body that love.. an episiotomy and forceps later and my baby girl was born at 2:15pm :)

Dmsandfloatydress · 17/02/2022 20:38

Lovely planned c section. All done in 45 mins. No pain. Exactly what I got after a lot of waving NICE guidelines under consultants noses and insisting on giving birth how I wanted to. It was marvellous!

Laney79 · 17/02/2022 20:39

A planned c-section with no complications, out within 24 hours and no infections/issues with recovery for me or baby.

Pretty much what I got...I chose my own theatre playlist so my son was born to the end of stand by me and as they did the simba moment sweet child by guns n roses started playing. Slight complication in that I lost a fair bit of blood and was close to needing a transfusion but got away with it. So I pretty much got the birth I wanted.

123xanadu · 17/02/2022 20:40

Baby coming out alive was all I hoped for.

What I got was a failed induction, horrific back to back labour,uncontrollable BP and an emcs I thought would kill me (due to other medical complications ).

At the end of the day when I feel bad about it I need to remember my baby is healthy and doing well so what does it matter how he came out.

sageandbasil · 17/02/2022 20:41

Ideally i would have liked a water birth, I also wanted an epidural tho... The one thing I didn't want was a section. I had a section and it was lovely!

PotatoGoblins · 17/02/2022 20:41

I went into my first birth (an induction) with no epidural and no forceps as my only stipulations. Oh how naive of me Blush It ended up being a shit show from start to finish, and felt like the birth was something that was done to me rather than something I took an active part in. Obtaining informed consent wasn’t my midwife’s strong point apparently Hmm It was traumatising - not because the birth was particularly difficult, but because I felt violated by those who were supposed to be caring for me.
Second and third time around I had a very clear idea of my perfect birth:
At home. No pool. Midwives in attendance as an emergency precaution only. No one was to touch me. No one was to touch my babies. (Except in dire emergency obviously).
And that’s exactly what I got with DCs 2 & 3. I let the midwives check baby’s heart rate intermittently with DC2, and she was very quick and made sure she got explicit consent before coming anywhere near me. Other than that, I didn’t have a single examination and no one touched me at all during labour, during the actual births or the aftermath.

MerryBloodyChristmasDay · 17/02/2022 20:42

Another vote for a planned c section with no complications and an issue free recovery (if we're talking about reality, otherwise magically appearing beside you all clean and sleeping gets my vote!)

Angrymum22 · 17/02/2022 20:44

I remember asking a nearly retired midwife what a good birth plan looked like. She was a lovely, gentle midwife who was caring and polite with all her patients. She replied without thinking “ a blank sheet of paper”. She maintain that the women with no expectation often had the best births because they were not disappointed. They got the baby they wanted.

Clevs · 17/02/2022 20:46

Ideal: Waters breaking and contractions starting at home to get the excitement going. Water birth with just gas & air in the midwife unit and immediate skin to skin & latching baby on to breastfeed.

Reality: Going 15 days overdue, a failed induction resulting in my waters being broken for me, an epidural that I was in no fit state to discuss, an emergency C-Section and having my baby passed to me already cleaned up and wrapped up in a blanket. Feeling that I could have tried harder to get the baby out myself in hindsight and upset that I'll never get the chance to have another go at it because my husband doesn't want another baby.

AgathaMystery · 17/02/2022 20:46

Ideal birth: go into spontaneous Labour at home, alone. Ring my friend who would pop over and lend a hand. DH come home from work realise the baby has arrived.

What happened: GA section.

Life, eh! I had a really really adorable baby though Smile

Flittingaboutagain · 17/02/2022 20:46

Maybe 4 hours start to finish?! Not too fast but relatively speedy.

I had this and it caused permanent nerve damage and second degree tearing...so a fast labour is not always a good thing.

But I did get what I wanted re no epidural and no emergency c section. My dream was a water birth at home.

DockOTheBay · 17/02/2022 20:53

4 hour labour is not great. My first was 4 hours and a stressful drive to the hospital while fully dilated is not what you want.

I wanted a home birth with my second, my ideal would have been natural birth with no pain relief, born on the sofa and straight into bed for cuddles...
but the midwives couldn't get there fast enough due to covid short staffing (March 2020) so we had the same stressful last minute drive anyway and baby was born 15 minutes after we got there. I did get the natural no pain relief birth though... yay? 🤣

jelly79 · 17/02/2022 20:56

I wanted a water birth both times and couldn't

Pretty medical labour first time so I wanted to be calm and I control the second time. I was and now I wouldn't change a thing

CatherinedeBourgh · 17/02/2022 21:01

Home water birth. Which I got both times.

Best experiences of my life.

Dyra · 17/02/2022 21:02

Wanted: Finish work at 36+2. Have a relaxing few weeks off work to prepare for baby. Contractions eventually start on their own. Head to hospital, labour further on minimal pain relief. Deliver baby vaginally a few hours later. Go home after an adequate rest.

Got: Admitted to hospital mid shift (I work on the labour suite) due to pre-eclampsia at 36+1. Don't get to go home again until after baby is here. Induction at 37 weeks. Wind up on drip as body is very much not ready for labour. I did deliver vaginally, and avoided an epidural, so I had that going for me. 2 nights post natal stay.

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