What does your ‘ideal’ birth look like?

[Cheekypeach]

..and what did you get?

My ideal birth would be to go into labour naturally, have an epidural & baby born without pain or assistance. Maybe 4 hours start to finish?! Not too fast but relatively speedy.

What I got was a loooooong induction, failed epidural, long pushing stage & finally forceps. All good now but hoping number 2 will be easier!

I got exactly what I wanted. Laboured at home for most of it. Last bit in hospital in birthing pool with dimmed lights. Gas and air and pushed for 26 mins. Delayed cord clamping and skin to skin.

Nearly full term with next baby and the same again would be brilliant but I'm fully prepared for it to be completely different!

Water birth with gas and air which I eventually got third time round after 24 hours of back to back labour. It was Followed by surgical removal of the placenta with a spinal block. But the water part was lovely!!

Waters going, contractions starting, find out I’m already 5cm. Baby born in water with no medication a few hours later.

What I got was waters going, contractions starting and found out i was 4cm already. Failed to dilate, required the drip and an epidural. EMCS due to failure to progress, stuck at 9cm after 16 hours.

Oh and no water due to mecinoum!

Meconium *

A lovely calm planned c section which is what I got twice. Due to covid they got us out within 24hrs for the second one which was ace.

Wanted: waters to break at home, i could get myself prepared, labour as much as i could at home and then go in and have a calm water birth with gas and air. What I got was: my waters breaking all over my midwife during a sweep, having 20 minutes sleep before contractions started in my back, the pain being immediately unbearable and only being in active labour for 2 hours, going in to shock because the pain ramped up so quickly and a midwife who dismissed me because it was apparently too quick for a first baby, DD got stuck and I had to move up to the labour ward. Due 2nd DD in April and i'm hoping this time is much better!

My ideal birth would be to go into labour naturally, have an epidural & baby born without pain or assistance. Maybe 4 hours start to finish?! Not too fast but relatively speedy. This pretty much describes both my births - first was about 7 hours the second 5-and-a-half. Gave birth in France though where they seem manage these things rather well - epidural strong enough to knock out the pain, but allowed enough sensation to feel the contractions so I could push when the time came. I also had my own room which was standard in the public hospital where I gave birth. Loved it all.

I wanted and got 2 elective sections. First one didn't quite got to plan (anaesthetic wasn't fully effective ) and second was long, but I got the ideal outcome I wanted: 3 healthy babies and fully functioning pelvic region. Result.

Never wanted to and have no regrets about not having a vaginal birth. Shudder.

I genuinely just wanted a safe birth and healthy baby with no lasting damage for me. I was told the best way to get that was minimal NHS contact, a home birth with fairy lights etc. A midwife led unit was to be accepted if I absolutely HAD to concede. In reality, I had a fast and furious 4 hour Labour following pessary induction and gave birth on my back in a delivery suite. Baby was safe and so was I, I had a couple of stitches I couldn't even feel, no interventions like forceps etc. And I was a positive weeping mess of oxytocin when my lovely baby was handed to me!!! If I could change anything about being a first time mum it would be worrying about all the terrible things that the NHS would try to do to be during birth. The midwives were great.

Interesting, the most popular choices are home water birth or planned CS - basically opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of medicalised/unmedicalised. Although I suppose labouring in warm water isn’t a ‘natural’ thing.

Ideal: baby alive me alive the end.

I wanted a 5 to 6 hour labour, no tears and a vaginal delivery.
I got prom, 75 hours roughly of contractions in my spine and thighs. Couldn't walk because my legs locked up with each one. 2 failed epidurals, 4 hours of pushing, failed forceps and an emergency section during which I passed out after hallucinating. Dc1 went to Nicu and I developed postpartum psychosis.
Reading that back, no idea how or why but I went on to have to dc2 whose arrival was much better despite also being an emergency section.

I had 2 C-sections. Both amazing experiences. I get happy emotional whenever I think of the amazing feeling and excitement going down to theatre and then having my baby in my arms like 10 mins later.

A midwife who listens and believes me when I say I am in labour rather than ignoring me, dismissing me and nearly allowing my baby to die because 'i was a first time mother and making a fuss and no way going to give birth anytime that day'.
Ohh and i also threaten with being sent to the doctor led ward because I wanted some gas and air and was told 'if you already arent coping you will need to go upstairs and have an epidural'. I was 10cm and crowning having had no pain relief.

Ideally being a kangaroo with a pouch (added bonus that you can just put your snout in to check the babe instead of fretting about the next scan). Realistically ideal: either a water birth or an epidural and straightforward birth. Oh and partner present the whole time instead of all those covid rules.

What I got:
High risk pregnancy and birth. Scans every two weeks. Almost 4 day induction (partner not allowed present during most of it due to covid). First epidural failed, second worked mostly on my left side and somewhat on my right side (still found it bliss and highly recommend), heart rate of the baby slowed, needed EMCS, baby ended up in NICU for most of the week.

I didn't like the way the birth went but I'm ok with it if you get my meaning. She survived, and is healthy so that's what I'm really thankful for. It could very easily have ended in a tradegy. She really wasn't well at the beginning.

To mostly labour at home, then a quick trip to the midwife led birth centre for a water birth with gas & air. Basically the birth a good friend had - they only just got the pool filled in time.

I'm only 25 weeks and aware the above is wildly unlikely but a girl can hope!

Wouldn’t change my birth as everything went smoothly. No pain relief, got to 9cm at home and maybe two hours pushing.

However, if I did it again, I’d want a home birth where it’d be really chilled, no bright lights and I’d be able to get up and have a bath in my own home.

So only one or two of us wanting smooth epidural VBs!

Hmmm home birth. I must be a nutter but I enjoyed giving birth in hospital. It felt like a rite of passage somehow - showing the baby off to the midwives, chatting with the other mums on the ward, the little knitted hats. The going home photo! I feel like home would feel like a bit of an anticlimax.

First time I wanted a super chilled hypno water birth. Got a planned c section instead. Second time I wanted a planned c section again and got it.

I'd want to labour at home for as long as I can to let labour properly establish. I'd go in to be triaged when contracting a good 3:10 and hopefully be around 6cm.

I'd then get in the pool with some entonox to see if I like it or not. I reckon I'll probably want some diamorph at some point to get a bit of a rest, so I'd get out of the pool for that and tbh I'd be happy delivering on dry land with some good perineal support rather than it being completely hands off and ending up with a whopping tear in the pool.

I also wouldn't be opposed to an epidural if I felt I really wanted one. I'd just make sure I'd mobilised really well for the beginning of labour until I really couldn't cope anymore to hopefully prevent malposition and intervention.

I'd want all the usual, skin to skin and optimal cord clamping at delivery.

I'm completely undecided on the 3rd stage. I think potentially physiological would be nice, but any signs of bleeding at all just pass the synt and get it out!!!!

I wanted to give birth vaginally preferably with minimal intervention, minimal pain relief and possibly in water if I felt like it.

What I got was two EMCS after two relatively ok labours with gas and air and pethidine with the first and only TENS with the second. It all went wrong in the pushing stage when they both got stuck in different ways and attempts at ventouse and forceps failed.

Then finally to top it off a third complicated pregnancy with placenta praevia and placenta percreta culminating in a planned CS at 34 weeks with an emergency hysterectomy to save my life. This was followed by PTSD.

I find it hard to talk about my birth stories with people because none of them were good so I tend not to talk about them at all.

And in terms of location I'd want the MLU attached to DS and NICU.

Quick but calm labour in the birthing pool in the MLU within the hospital, with a very short pushing stage (I'm not too bad with contractions but hate pushing) - which I got second time around

Opening the door to see the back end of a stork going down the path