What does your ‘ideal’ birth look like?

[Cheekypeach]

..and what did you get?

My ideal birth would be to go into labour naturally, have an epidural & baby born without pain or assistance. Maybe 4 hours start to finish?! Not too fast but relatively speedy.

What I got was a loooooong induction, failed epidural, long pushing stage & finally forceps. All good now but hoping number 2 will be easier!

DC1
What I wanted: a water birth with minimal pain relief
What I got: 50+ hour labour and an EMCS
DC2
What I wanted: a vaginal birth
What I got: EMCS

I try not to think about it too much tbh as I get sad. I really lowered my expectations for DC2 and turns out they were still too high 🙄

MLU, water birth, do majority of labouring at home so I could arrive at the MLU late on in labour so they couldn't send me home again, no mentioning my high BMI all the time, no interventions unless needed, no coached pushing, breathe the baby out, no tears or stiches.

Actually got all of this except for one midwife constantly telling me I shouldn't be allowed in the MLU at my weight, and having a nearly 3rd degree tear as the little bugger shot in in one go too fast (I shouldn't have pushed so early!)! The birth was incredible, the stiches afterward were horrendous.

This time, I'm hoping for the stand alone MLU, already have a named midwife and I've promised to go in a bit earlier (was only in for 4 hours before baby was born last time!).

Pregnant with my first and dreaming of spontaneous labour between 37-38w (I am so over pregnancy). Labouring at home for a while, then into hospital. Giving birth while kneeling on bed or standing up leaning on bed. I do not want any water anywhere near me at all. Open to all pain relief options. Delayed cord clamping and skin to skin. I would love to be away from home less than 10 hours, but feel like this is probably the most unrealistic part, in which case DH will have to go back and forth a few times for the dog.

But really most of all I'm hoping to not go overdue, but if I do then I'll take any and all induction/intervention offered. Just want baby out.

My ideal would be same as yours OP, baby comes a week early.

I got my natural labour and epidural with my first but I was in labour for 3 days and epidural didn't fully work, he was a week late.

Second time I got natural labour but no epidural so lots of pain although it was much quicker (5 hours) so was actually a better experience overall. Baby came 11 days late though

I quite fancy how the queen birthed Andrew in The Crown. She seemed to doze of to sleep and wake up to find him there. No idea how that bizarre practice worked (surely the mother actually needs to push at some point?!). But it did seem marvellously civilised.

@TrufflesAndToast

I quite fancy how the queen birthed Andrew in The Crown. She seemed to doze of to sleep and wake up to find him there. No idea how that bizarre practice worked (surely the mother actually needs to push at some point?!). But it did seem marvellously civilised.

Twilight birth- I think it looks horrendous!

Mind you, I had ELCS under GA so maybe not that dissimilar! But a VB whilst knocked out seems completely horrific somehow!

Cough ... baby!

I thought I wanted to practice hypnobirthing and have a water birth. I ended up having bad anxiety in pregnancy. Two weeks before due date a wonderful consultant said I can have an elective c-section. No regrets.

First birth too horrendous to talk about.
Taken into consultant unit 6 weeks before second birth. Sat in rocking chair reading, when contractions got strong walked to delivery suite. Baby born 10 minutes later no pain relief. Midwife was still putting her gloves on.

Having had both vaginal and c section deliveries, my ideal is an ELCS. Calm, comfortable, straightforward and home the next day. The dream!

Ideal: labour starts spontaneously at home, wait a few hours at home for it to get started, then take cab to hospital and be admitted to MLU for for water birth with gas and air, visions of husband feeding my snacks and water in pool, rubbing my back etc, getting into various positions to help baby come out, music in background, then delayed cord clamping and skin to skin

What I got: Water broke spontaneously at home in bed, had meconium in it so rushed to hospital, no water birth as baby had to be continuously monitored cause of the meconium. Dialated to 10cm in 70 minutes, no time for music/water/snacks. Then 2:15 pushing which ended with an episiotomy, probably as I was in my back in stirrups. 4 hours start to finish. Not too bad but makes me laugh about all the stuff we packed to create a calming environment!

My ideal would be watching TV and it just pops out fully potty trained ... :-D
However my first was really good 4 hour of contractions , 3 hours active Labour , gas and air , bing bang bosh , baby

@TrufflesAndToast

I quite fancy how the queen birthed Andrew in The Crown. She seemed to doze of to sleep and wake up to find him there. No idea how that bizarre practice worked (surely the mother actually needs to push at some point?!). But it did seem marvellously civilised.

If I remember correctly from history lessons, she used a combination of morphine and scopolamine to induce a sleeping state, and the baby was born using forceps.

What I wanted: healthy baby; early epidural, after not too much pain; labour ward with doctors on hand but no need to use them;

Just wanted a healthy baby and hopefully not too traumatic a delivery
Knew as soon as I got in a warm bathtub to help with contractions and it’s my first that water wasn’t for me. Grim. Second was drip
Induction so went nowhere but the hospital bed . Third was a gel induction as so fast I didn’t have a change to get anything other than a hit of gas and air before baby was here and we were both in shock. I had to have brith trauma counselling afterwards for many reasons not all to do with the terrifying birth and a poorly baby and over a week in hospital afterwards

I think you have to hope for the best but to some degree prepare mentally for the worst or that nothing goes to plan .

@EarlGreywithLemon

What I wanted: healthy baby; early epidural, after not too much pain; labour ward with doctors on hand but no need to use them;

Same! Including the last bit!

Ideal: get baby out safely.

What I got: thankfully my ideal birth both times via a inductions, forceps, epidural and an episiotomy.

I had my ideal birth with my second. A lovely, calm, planned section following a traumatic birth and massive haemorrhage with DC1. I was very unwell after.

However, DC2 was critically ill at birth. He had a condition that it’s really hard to detect antenatally. He is thankfully OK now.

So the ideal would be a birth where both me and DC were healthy afterwards.

My 2nd birth was wonderful. My waters went at 11pm, went to hospital about 1am, not a lot really happened, active labour from 6:30ish baby girl born at 8:55am no pain relief, no stiches. Discharged at around 2:30pm. I live around half an hour from the hospital so picked up DD1 from school at 3:15pm on the way home. It was magical and I was on a high for weeks.

My third birth however ended up with an unforeseen pph and a back to back baby. Not quite so magical really...

Place marking to read later

For both the baby and myself to be alive and healthy at the end of it. Nothing else matters.

Hit send too early!
What I wanted: healthy baby; not going overdue; early epidural, after not too much pain; labour ward with doctors on hand but no need to use them; and no tearing/other long term consequences.
What I got: induction at 41 weeks (my choice)- straightforward, only a pessary, contractions 6 hours later, all going smoothly. But the baby was back to back and the pain went off the scale- no break, no specific location just pure agony. So I got my early epidural in that I was only just 1cm, but it took 10 hours of torture to get there. The epidural was amazing, I relaxed, things sped up and I was pushing 4 hours later. But she was in an awkward position, started to get distressed , I started to bleed and I then got failed ventouse, forceps, episiotomy, 3b tear, and a 2.3l PPH due to a suspected placental abruption. And a three month protracted recovery.
But I also got a healthy, wonderful baby girl, and an amazing medical team which meant I didn’t panic or find it a traumatic experience.

@Cheekypeach

So only one or two of us wanting smooth epidural VBs!

Hmmm home birth. I must be a nutter but I enjoyed giving birth in hospital. It felt like a rite of passage somehow - showing the baby off to the midwives, chatting with the other mums on the ward, the little knitted hats. The going home photo! I feel like home would feel like a bit of an anticlimax.

I loved loved loved that epidural. I could have hugged the anaesthetist who gave it to me. And it sped things up for me. It was great.

My second birth was pretty close to my ideal. Contractions started during the night and were soon coming thick and fast so we went to the hospital, I was examined and already 8cm (!), straight into the birthing pool and baby born an hour later. I didn't even need to push she just kind of came out! Very little tearing, baby passed all tests with flying colours and we were home by lunchtime.

First birth...let's not go into it but let's just say it was a bit of a different story

I know a lot of people who had very positive, straightforward births second time round OP, I think the odds are in your favour. Good luck!