Elective c-sections due to fear of childbirth

[Gangle]

I realise this is a really inflammatory topic and don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of elective c sections for non-physical reasons but would be really interested in hearing from anyone who had an elective section due to fear of giving birth or other similar reason. What were your reasons and was it the right decision?

Why are you asking, Gangle? Your question is too vague, and people here might interpret it as coming from the media. Are you a writer/researcher/journalist? if that's the case there is a media request section.

Thanks,
BP

gangle why specifically do you want know such information?It is a deeply personal subject and a contentious one too (as you say)

"What were your reasons and was it the right decision"?.......................Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

if this is about you then try articulate it, ask your direct question

No, I'm not a writer, researcher or journalist (why would you think that ???) and the reason I am vague is because if I put too much information on about my personal circumstances then that leaves me open to critisim about my choices which is not what I want.

ScottishMummmy, why the "hmmmmm"? Which part of my question is so perplexing?

Out of interest, did either of you have an elective section for the above reason? If not then this thread really isn't for you.

I had an emergency C sec first time around after a difficult labour and some serious complications. For second birth, I really did a lot of research and I had a very hard time to chose between a VBAC or an elective C section. After long discussions and research, I booked an elective 6 days past my due date and ended going into labour on THAT SAME MORNING! so anyway, I had a natural labour and pushed for 2 hours and ended up with another emergency section.

So no, I didn't have a genuine fear of birth, actually I really wanted to give birth naturally. Just didn't manage it. I don't feel that I have failed though, I think I have everything that I could to have natural births.

I understand that you have a genuine fear, and there are some resources available to help you.Are you pregnant? Or trying to get pregnant? Are your fears stopping you from getting pregnatn and is it your first baby?

If you don't want to give any info that's OK, I understand your point about being 'under attack' here when you are probably in a very vulnerable position.

BP
xx

Gangle, I personally think that C sections are for medical necessity, but that doesn't mean I would come on here and bash you if you are worried about giving birth and want to speak to others that have been in your situation.
I think you'd be better off explaining more rather than expecting others to come along and tell their experiences leaving themselves open to criticism to help you.

I'm assuming you are pregnant? and want a cs rather than a vaginal birth? have you ever given birth before?

There are people on here that can help, whther it be how to advise you to get your CS or to help you come to terms with your fear (which is totally natural). If it's because of existing birth trauma there are peopel that can help with that too.

No matter what kind of birth you wish for it si important that you are comfortable with the possibilty of it not all going to plan, a CS isn't the easy option for scare-freelabour. You could go into labour before your el cs is booked and end up doing vainal labour, you could have problems in the CS or you may be refused an el cs (I don't know much about asking for an el cs but there are other posters that do.)

Either way you need to discuss mroe than just other peoples experiences to enable you to get a good birthing experience however it ends up happening.

I am 25 weeks pregnant with my first baby and think I want a CS as I am terrified of giving birth naturally for a variety of reaaons the main ones being loss of control, risks to the baby (getting stuck, cord around neck, distress etc etc) and the damage to you). Most of my friends who tried naturally have ended up with an emergency c-section. I have posted on this before and got back many different opinions and I think the only way to really decide is to ask people their real life experiences, then I can decide for myself. When I say decide, I accept obviously that I may not get one on the NHS which is also why I want to prepare myself for a natural delivery.

Gangle, I assume you are pg, and frightened of childbirth?
I didn't get a C-section, but during my first pregnancy, I was very scared of pushing. The idea of the pain didn't bother me, but pushing did. My labour was very long (35 hours), and through the first 30 hours I was still scared of pushing. I remember leaning against a counter, really at a low point, and just coming to terms with pushing. It is from that point that everything started progressing, and my ds was born in a birthing pool a mere 5 hours later ()
I understand that you may be frightened

I personally wouldn't go for a planned C section. I am not saying that your fears are irrational, but a natural birth is a lot less risky then a C section. It is a statistical fact.

Have you thought of talking to a doula? THey are birth companions that can make a huge difference to the outcome of your birth. They are there with you all the way, and can help you communicate with the staff and alleviate a lot of the fears/loss of control. I personally have not met anyone who would opt for a c section for fear of natural birth. Having said that, I have never met anyone who wasn't scared of giving birth!

From what I've read, elective sections are very safe - yes, perhaps slightly less safe than a natural delivery that goes well, but still safe, and would remove most of my other fears although I am of course scared at the thought of being cut open and the wound afterwards! I just wondered why, in this position, most people do decide that natural is best.

Ah, I thought I recognised your name, you're on my ante-natal thread.
We've moved recently so I don't know if you've posted but we
are here now.

Fear during child birth is totally natural, and the fact that many of your friends have had to have em cs's certainly isn't going to help rationalise your fears.

Have a look here and read the risks etc, because although problems with vaginal births seem more likely they really aren't. It's just that horror stories stick in our minds.

I think if you feel your fear is enough to warrant a cs then you need to speak to a medical psych professional that can help you either come to terms with your fears and enable you to give birth vaginally or can help you get the cs you're looking for. Some women actually have phobias of birth and labour rather than normal healthy fear so it is definitely worth speaking to someone about it.

After both of mine, (natural births) I was VERY grateful that I was up and about almost right away, and not bed bound. A friend of mine, after a C-section said that the first time she got up out of the bed, it felt like her insided were being ripped.

You say you wonder why people decide natural is best?

I can only speak for myself but I have had an em cs, under GA and an el cs under local. I hated both experiences, my el cs wasn't too bad and I had no problems with recovery but to me it didn't seem right.

The major worry with vaginal birth I find is the pain, this is not any less after a cs, the pain is there, just in a different place and at a different time, at least with a vaginal birth that has gone well you can get pretty much up and about straight away, not so with a cs.

Problems such as the cord being round babies neck are normally easily resolved by the midwife delivering you. As for loss of control, I have never felt less in control than when I was unable to move in an operating theatre!

Also having a cs transfers risk to any latter babies you may have, the risk of uterine rupture increases as do other things.

Like I said, I can only speak for myself. Hopefully someone who knows more facts will be able to come along and help you.

youre welcome to email me krissyandchris @ tiscali.co.uk Gangle

Gangle... the reason BP and SM asked was because we often get journos looking for easy articles.

But about you! I can understand the fear and I would imagine that you have listened to lots of horror stories. People are always free with their horror stories more so than the bogstandard normal birth stories.

You need to book yourself into some antenatal classes to learn more about labour. The suggestion of a doula is a good on DoulaUK Having someone in with you who can be objective and knows about birth and support can be enormously helpful. My biggest job satisfaction (I'm a doula) is knowing the support that I've given to my couple. When they talk to me afterwards, however their birth went, they always say that it was the knowing I was there that enabled them to make the decisions they needed to make and to have a better birth than they expected... yes that includes the ones that may have gone to emergency c-birth.

I think you need to talk out your fears.

Childbirth is indeed about being out of control but not in the sense that panic ensues within and around you. Birth is an instinctual thing and it is very primeval. I think that once you understand the process of birth some of your fears will disappear, however, I do still think that you should do some antenatal classes (with your partner) to inform yourself.

Am happy to make myself available for you to talk through your birthing fears if you like. CAT me if you'd like to. Of course there are others here that can help as well.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Make it a time of joy and not worry if you can darling.

Hi Gangle. I had an elective c-section when I went way overdue and an induction failed. I had not planned to have one right up until the day it was suggested by my consultant, so my situation isn't the same as yours, but a few things you said struck me and I felt I must address them.

A c-section does not give you any more of a sense of 'control' than a vaginal birth, imo. On the contrary, I felt completely out of control. The anaesthetic completely numbs you from the neck down, and that can be a very overwhelming (and for some, quite frightening) experience. You also have less control after the birth, as you are likely to be catheterised (although not always) and less mobile than a woman who has delivered vaginally. The recovery is also much slower afterwards compared to all but the most traumatic vaginal births (I am thinking third degree tears etc.). I am in no way trying to put you off, but I think that as well as gaging opinion on MN you should have a good lengthy chat with a sympathetic consultant / midwife about this and get all the facts before making your decision. C-section is a major, invasive operation. You will have to spend several weeks afterwards really recouping and recovering. If there is any way you can get help to overcome some of your worst fears about vaginal birth, my personal opinion is that it would be preferably to having a c-section unless medically necessary. That is just my opinion, though. No doubt you'll get plenty of others!

Good luck x

A C-section is major surgery with all the risks to you that surgery entails, and recovering from surgery with a tiny baby to look after is hard - I know, dd turned up by emergency section. For a couple of weeks even just getting up and picking your baby up for feeds/nappy changes HURTS, as does pushing the pram. Forget about using a babycarrier/sling for a few weeks - just walking without carrying anything is hard work. And you can't drive for 6 weeks, which depending on where you live may or may not be a problem.

I'm not writing that to scare you, but bringing your baby into the world is part of the journey - the next step is caring for her/him, and for yourself. I was lucky that my Mum and Dad and dh were all here for me, and took care of all the things I couldn't do, from making meals to cleaning the bath.

Other posters have made some good suggestions about considering a doula, etc. But if you do decide that a planned section is the right way for you, then good on you, and if you need support, there are plenty of us here you can talk to.

I agree with LAG. I had two sections -one emergency, the second elective. I would not recommend a section as an easier option.

LAG is right about the complete loss of control. I was completely passive in my two sections & still managed to poo myself.

It is major surgery which takes longer to recover from. I could not move for the first few days.

It makes it harder to handle your baby in the early days. I was lucky in that both my children were natural born breastfeeders because I could not do anything.

I took me months to bring myself to look at my scar too.

I didn't have any problems looking at my scar but I will have to wear Brigit Jones' knickers forever! Any other knickers rub on the scar and hurt so I'm off to M&S now to get me some more of the ugliest biggest knickers in the world! Bye!

gangle, i have replied to your questions about elective c.s and fear of birth.

my advice: get some help with your fear before the birth. the baby is going to arrive either by c.s or v.b and both have physical and emotional implications for you.

your MW or doctor should be able to refer you to someone who can help

fear of childbirth is a real fear called tokophobia, there will be ways to deal with it

there are risks to the baby and you whichever mode of delivery, and loss of control with either mode too.. you need to find out the pros and cons of both, and get some specialised help and make the decision that is right for you

Leaving aside the pros and cons argument I did know someone who was terrified of giving birth and who discussed her fears with her consultant. He decided that the best course for her was a planned c section and everything went well. Discuss your fears with your doctor and hopefully they will either be able to help you get over your fears - or confirm that, for you, a planned c section is the best option. Good luck.

I just couldn't face a vag birth. Have had 2 elec CSs that luckily turned out to be just what I wanted. Breastfeeding something I really, really wanted to do and the hassle-free birth allowed me to focus my energies!

It's a very personal choice how you give birth, and it's very difficult for other people to advise you as you are very unique!

You'll get a lot of polarised views.......'ooh, a CS is awful, you'll be bed-bound for days' down to ........'with a vag birth you'll be skipping off the bed'. The reality is that any birth lies someh=where inbetween.

My emergency section saved my child's life but it is also the reason I can't have any more children.

NAB

Thanks expat, very kind of you, especially when I know you have had a horrendous time just lately. Hope you are getting there.

Glad you are both safe, though.

Gangle, you have to do what is best for you.

You've gotten some great advice here .

I've not had a csection myself, I had a forceps delivery with my first and a quick, drug-free birth with my second, but I was born via elective repeat c.