Elective c-sections due to fear of childbirth

[Gangle]

I realise this is a really inflammatory topic and don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of elective c sections for non-physical reasons but would be really interested in hearing from anyone who had an elective section due to fear of giving birth or other similar reason. What were your reasons and was it the right decision?

[EddieMonsoon]

I had 2 Caesarians. The first was because the baby was very big and it was the consultant's advice. I was SO relieved as I was absolutely petrified of giving birth for all the reasons that Gangle gives ie loss of control, being taken over by mother nature to such an extent and stretched and torn etc. The caesars were hard to get over and I had to have help, but I really was relieved when told I could have Caesars. Also, although serious invasive surgery etc, the stitches were in a place I could handle emotionally ie on the belly. Hope that helps.

[cazzybabs]

I have ad 2 natural births and 1 emerengy cs. I would rather have a VB anytime than a cs.

[FlllightAttendant]

After my second VB I am still very frightened of ever doing it again. I felt the loss of control quite badly. It really scared me.
My first was Ok, lots of pain relief. Second, nothing. but I don't think an EC would be the answer. I think I need to work through my own fears. I know you don't have much time left, though. I feel for you, I really do, it will all be over in a few months though which is where you need to focus
I hope you manage to get some help, the last weeks of pregnancy seem to go so fast don't they?

{{big hugs}}

[LOVEMYMUM]

Hi gangle.

Am also a first time mother and getting increasingly nervous about labour (31 weeks).

I have found the best thing to do is to IGNORE horror stories about labour. Many mothers (sorry to generalise) will want to tell you that their labour was wonderful or horrific, to have an epidural or to avoid it at all costs. I say to these people (including my own family): "Ok, that's your experience. I'm going to find out about things and decide on my own birth plan". NB: don't be too rigid about a VB or a c-section. It can change at the last minute!

Everyone's body, everyone's baby and everyone's experience is different.

I think a doula for you may be a good idea. She can look after you during labour and support you, while also having a great deal of knowledge.

C-sections and VB's have their good and bad points (which you have read about in this thread). I would add to this, don't worry about it yet.

[LOVEMYMUM]

Sorry if i sounded a bit bossy!

Can i also send you a hug cos i was in the same boat as you a few weeks ago. I do understand how you feel.

Please don't base your decision on other's experiences.

I have always said that i want to be a mum but i don't want to give birth. I'm scared but with my mum and/or DH next to me - i'll be ok - and so will you.

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

It is perfectly normal to be frightened of the unknown but what makes you think a section would be better? That is still the unknown.

You can have treatment for a genuine phobia of child birth if you feel that would help.

[dressedupnowheretogotilxmas]

i was petrified i put my case forward was allowed one and my body went into labour naturally i laboured natrally and ended p needing an emergency section.

[MarsyChristmas]

NAB .. I'm sorry! Congratulations on your DD.

[Gemy]

I had an awful first birth. Vaginal birth with epidural, failed ventoose and forcepts delivery. I had to have an episiotomy and because of all that's involved with having an assisted delivery this took weeks to feel comfortable again. Also, because of the strange positions my legs were manipulated in during the time in the stirrups, I had pelvic displacement problems and could not walk for a good 3 weeks (and even then it was painful) So, I'm not trying to scare you into opting for a CS but when I fell pregnant again I felt terrified and I can totally understand why you feel the need to have a CS. I even asked for one and was instantly refused.

Strangely enough, after being refused, I started to get a bit excited about a natural birth and taking more control in it to ensure I was happy with it. And that's just what I did - bought hynobirthing MP3 (whilst not really believing it'd make any difference) hired Tens machine and looked up other aids like using different positions etc.

Well, I gave birth on Christmas morning at 01:10 and was out of hospital by 0800 the same morning. Was up and about straight away, and went out for country walk on boxing day (today I went sale shopping!)

So, what I'm trying to say is don't presume your body is not capable of doing what it is naturally programmed to do. I feel very proud that I followed through with my natural birth and that I was able to have input into how it was going to be. The result is a very easy going little girl and a happy mummy.

[lemonstarchristmastree]

Gangle

I had my first baby by elective secion for maternal choice. I was alone and afraid. I do not regret it,i had a health ds and was so so afraid I would have a birth related problem.

for my second child I would have liked a VBAC but he was breech; for ds3 there was no choice having had 2 sections ( he was also transverse lie)

do i regret it - no. I had my reasons; do I wish I had tried for a VB -yes , but accept the decision I made at the time.

good luck whatever you decide
x

[LadyMuck]

Had em c/s with ds1. Opted for elective c/s for ds2 in order to avoid a repeat of the experience. Recovery was fine. Out of my closest friends all those who have had vaginal births have ended up needing subsequent surgery (I have one friend expecting to be off work for 6 weeks recovering from the reconstructive surgery). But we are all older mothers, and that seems to make a difference I think.

Due to the concern about higher c/s rates and the costs involved you may find it difficult to get an elective c/s for a first birth unless there are sound physical reasons. But good luck with what you go for.

[bunnyhohohunny]

I was in your situation exactly. After being offered a section, then refused at a later date, I prepared myself for natural birth.
I opted for a home birth as there is less risk of intervention (i.e. epidural leading to forceps etc). I also did NCT classes, which really helped me overcome my fear. I really recommend them - they made me realise that our bodies really are designed for it.
I also read loads of books - stand and deliver was a good one. and I did hypnotherapy (which didnt work for me, but the relaxation cd helped inthe early stages).
I did end up with an emergency c/s due to failure to dilate (after more than 24 hours ), and I was so prepared for it the recovery was quick and the procedure didnt freak me out or anything.
But I really recommend NCT ante-natal classes.

[Wilkie]

Gangle - I too was terrified of giving birth around the same stage you are now but it passed and I just wanted the baby OUT from about 35 weeks

Birth is hard. My labour was 26 hours. I remember telling DH after about 18 hours that although it hurt I would happily do it again.

I eventually had an epi which was wonderful BUT I certainly didn't get up and about easily after the birth. It took from 5pm to about 4am the next day for the feeling to have fully returned to my legs from the epi.

However, I am already looking forward to my next labout (am not even pg) as I found it empowering.

My sis had a elective c/s (twin pg) and said she would rather have had a natural birth due to the long recovery period.

HTH xx

[Sabire]

I could never have opted for an elective section because frankly for me it would have felt like a cop-out, even after a forceps birth and a vaginal birth of a 10lbs 12oz baby. Sorry to say something so politically incorrect but that's how I felt. My labours were hard, all three of them, but I look back on them with great feelings of pride and achievement. Being able to birth my babies has given me confidence in myself as a woman - I think, if I can do that I can do anything.

I know that that's not necessarily how other people feel but for me going through labour has had huge psychological and emotional benefits.

I do understand that many women are afraid because they are realists and they know that labour is tough and unpredictable, and they also know that the quality of care in labour isn't consistent. Being fearful is nothing to be ashamed of. I was VERY frightened before my second birth, which was a homebirth. I knew I was carrying a big baby and I knew it wouldn't be much fun squeezing him out. But I surrounded myself with good women, and somehow I found the strength within myself to get through it. Afterwards I was ecstatic - I felt as though I had climbed Everest - such a feeling of triumph and pride in myself as well of the joy in my baby. I'll never forget that.

Sorry - that's a bit of a diversion......

The supervisor of MW's at our local hospital will see mothers who are very fearful and talk through what their options are. Sometimes she sees them at the hospital but she also visits them at home. Some women do decide to go for an elective section after counselling, while others work with her to make a care plan for their labours, thinking through pain relief etc, and this helps them get a sense of control that reduces their anxieties about the labour.

So my advice to you would be to contact the supervisor of midwives at your local hospital by e-mail, setting out your anxieties and asking for an appointment with her to discuss your options. Be frank - tell her how you feel. I think if you go the right way about this you will probably find it's not too difficult to arrange an elective if this is what you need to do.

[purpleduck]

Gangle and Lovemymum, i don't understand the loss of control thing with a VB...? Do you mean that you won 't be able to control the pain, or the time it takes...?

Just genuinely curious

[madamez]

I have only had one baby and that was a VB: I was very determined that I did not want a c-section unless it was an emergency, because 20 years prior to having DS I had uterine surgery and definitely didn't fancy that pain and prolonged recovery time again. Having said that, it;s your body and your baby, so do please talk it all through with your MW or consultant and make the choice that feels right for you (but also bear in mind that births do not always go as planned, and having a different birth to the one you would have preferred doesn't mean you are a failure in any way - the end result is a healthy baby and a healthy you.)

[aPartridgeInapAeroTree]

I have a good friend who has had both her births by elective ceasarian under GA. The thought of being awake for the process scared the life out of her. Her fear was so great that there was definitely no other way for her. I find this fear hard to understand and somewhat irrational (given that natural birth is said to be safer). However, I know my friend and if you met her, you'd understand that there was no way she was giving birth naturally. She made her position very clear from the outset and got her choice as it was probably the lesser of two evils iyswim, rather than having a totally panicked woman to deal with being forced to give birth naturally. She also has a terrible irrational fear of the dentist, injections etc and any sort of medical/clinical interference (smears etc).

She is a very petite person (under 5'), so I guess the fear wasn't totally irrational, but I think if even she'd been a more average size, it wouldn't have made any difference to her fears and she'd have come to the same decision regardless.

[EddieMonsoon]

I can answer purpleduck. The loss of control thing is a fear of being taken over by the awesome force of mother nature and having to allow the force to be in charge of one's body. It's a fear that one will tear and just simply the enormity of it all. Thats how I felt. I had elective Caesarians for medical reasons but the fear on VB was so strong that I was very grateful for the caesars.

[Twinklemegan]

Can I just say that I thought the initial responses to the OP were a bit too confrontational? She shouldn't have to bare all in order to ask for other's experiences. We are all free to post or not as we choose. That's all.

Gangle - I can totally understand where you're coming from, however I think for a first birth an elective C-section wouldn't be recommended. What you need is to speak to an experienced midwife, get a really good birth plan, be realistic about your pain relief (and make sure you know about hospital policies on this), and by all means have a doula if you can afford one. Make sure your OH or other birth partner knows how you feel and is ready to speak up for you.

BTW, I had a very long and difficult birth but the key thing here is that I finally achieved a successful delivery without any intervention at all. This was entirely down to a carefully worded birth plan and an excellent midwife who was on the same wavelength as me. So it can be done. Good luck!

[ScottishMummy]

Gangle congratulations on your pregnancy hope you are well. my original hmmmmmmmmmm was reflecting that this is a difficult topic one which i have previously seen cause lots of emotions. fwiw, i personally think a live birth is the hoped for outcome and if that is a Csection - then alrighty then

[shayda]

Gangle,I think its really brave and shows courage that you have shared your fears..They are real and need to be recognised.I personally feel that if the fear of child-birth is just so all consuming for you and that it would have a detrimental effect on your mental health,you must do what is right FOR YOU.You have obviously educated yourself on the pros and cons..So you know there may be risks,as with anything.

I know of one woman that has had two electives due to an intense fear of childbirth,she did however have these done privately..She dosnt regrat this decision at all.I do understand the pain/shock and anxiety that some women have to go through because of emergency c's.

I am 33wks preggers and am considering a elective C.sec.Our first baby died during childbirth(he was only 24wks)and so for my own personal reasons,childbirth scares the shit out of me.The decision is ultimately yours..the last thing you should be made to feel is bad about that decision.Perhaps,your hospital can re.assure you.. You will do whats right for you and your baby.

Best wishes on your journey. xx

[Sibotash]

Gangle, I have had one vaginal birth and now am pregnant again. This time I would like a maternal-choice-elective-c-section simply because I do not want to go through childbirth again. I didn't require stitches and baby wasn't very big BUT the damage to the pelvic floor still happpened and I really want to avoid further damage. You are right when you say that an elective cesarean is very safe for both mum and baby. I have done plenty of reading on the subject and it is definitely the best choice for me. Being a good parent has nothing to do with how you deliver your baby! Make sure you stand your ground with the midwife and the consultant. They are not required by law to meet your request of a c-section but if you keep explaining to them that you are absolutely sure of your choice they might say yes. If you say that your choice is motivated "only" by fear then they might refer you to a counsellor! Good luck!