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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Why do you want a short stay in hospital?

98 replies

RainbowFlowers · 18/05/2020 10:32

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with second pregnancy. My first birth was awful, this time I may have an elective c section but I'm also keeping an open mind for if I go into labour before then.

At my midwife & consultant appointments they seem to try to reassure me by telling me I won't have a long stay in hospital. I know due to corona they don't want people staying unesseraily. Also on threads here and people I have spoke to have made a point of saying that they were in and out quick and that was good.

Having a short stay at hospital doesn't reassure me. I don't want to be rushed out. I want to feel like I am ready. Especially since I didn't get to breast feed first time round so I would like the extra support with that this time. Also since it seems like health visitor appointments will be reduced following the birth I want to get as much support as possible at the hospital. I don't really understand where the assumption that I would like to leave quickly is coming from.

So I am just wondering what are peoples reasons for wanting to get out of hospital quickly? I feel like I am missing something.

Thank you

OP posts:

munzero · 18/05/2020 10:36

I'd be bored shitless on a long hospital stay! Would much rather be at home if all were to go as planned. My friend had an elective c section last month. She went in Friday morning and was home Saturday evening. She wasn't rushed out.

Pineapplebaby · 18/05/2020 10:38

I’m going in for an induction tomorrow and want to be home as soon as possible. My wife isn’t allowed to be with me until I’m in established labour (4cm) and will have to leave an hour after the birth - and won’t be allowed back or onto the ward to visit. I'm hoping to go home straight after the birth and not be on a ward but if not I will be on my own until they let me leave.
I just want to get home as soon as possible so we can all be together, not on a ward with 5 other women and not sleep for 3 days...
My health visitor and midwife both do video calls though so will be on hand for help and advice on latching etc.

RyanStartedTheFire · 18/05/2020 10:40

Partners aren't allowed in after the birth here and I got more sleep and healing time in the comfort of my own home without other inconsiderate patients. Breastfeeding was easier for us to crack at home where I felt comfortable and not on display constantly.

PorpentiaScamander · 18/05/2020 10:43

I stayed in for nearly a week with ds1 (nearly 16 years ago now )

I was bored out of my mind. I guess things might have changed, but the TV cost a small fortune to watch. Visitors were only allowed at certain times (and I'd assume not allowed at all atm) so if I needed another book/magazine/ball of wool/crossword puzzle/snacks/whatever I had to wait until visiting time. It was never quiet and dark enough to get decent sleep. Even for the first 24 hours when my baby slept almost non stop and I was exhausted from a 3 day labour I couldn't sleep. We were only 'allowed'to hold our babies if we were feeding them, or for a short while after as we might have dropped them
At least when I went home I could have visitors at a time that suited me. I could hold my baby as much as I wanted. Sleep when baby slept etc etc.

Although I do look back now and think how lovely it would be to not even have to decide what to eat, let alone cook it

OllyBJolly · 18/05/2020 10:44

30 years ago it was the norm to keep first time mothers in for at least 5 days. Any complications and it was longer. Hospitals were different places then- very well staffed and the midwives would take your baby away at night if you weren't BF (hardly anyone did BF and I was under constant pressure to try a bottle so they could measure intake) There was even a smoking room in my ward! Visiting was restricted to 90 minutes in the afternoon and 90 minutes in the evening.

I don't believe it was healthy. Hospital is a very unreal environment. There is no longer the resource to offer appropriate support. Now that visiting is almost 24/7 (outside of COVID restrictions) and whole families and hangers on are free to wander in and out, I think most women would be more comfortable getting home asap.

Bert2020 · 18/05/2020 10:44

You can ask to stay longer especially for feeding help. I found it hell being in hospital, too hot, too noisy and in no way conducive to bonding & resting. Looking at early induction and I’m not fussed that my husband won’t be with me beforehand, I sent him home last time but afterwards when you are feeling vulnerable then the sooner we are home the better!

TimRigginsHasMyHeart · 18/05/2020 10:49

I aimed to leave as quickly as possible after all of mine. Mainly because I’m quite a private person and I just hated the idea of staying in a ward and having people I didn’t know around me during my most intimate moments of breastfeeding etc - plus - sharing a bathroom. I knew I would be much more relaxed at home and would sleep better in my own bed with my husband, than in an uncomfortable hospital bed alone.

DC1 was born at 10pm and I was home at 3pm the next day. I’d been in hospital about 24hrs prior to birth as it was a very long, drawn out labour with some complications.

DC2 was born at 9am and I was out at 5pm. I arrived at the hospital less than 10 minutes before baby was born and would have left at 3pm (hospital policy is 6hrs minimum) except that we needed to wait on a vaccination. I never went to a ward - was discharged straight from labour ward.

DTs were born on a Monday morning and I left on Saturday evening. It was an emcs and I had a private room. DT1 was with me straight from recovery. DT2 was in NNU until the Wednesday then back on the ward. On the Saturday they were both admitted to NNU and stayed there for a further 3 weeks. That was the day I went home.

Wanderer1 · 18/05/2020 10:51

I like hospitals, I've had a number of ops in my time so plenty of overnight and extended stays. My first baby is due in July and I don't want to go to hospital at all, not because I'm scared or don't like them or will be bored but because I'm not sick, and hopefully won't be after the baby is born either. I want to snuggle with my new born in the comfort of my own bed and have the food I want to eat prepared by my OH and use my own bathroom. There is no place like home 😊

TimRigginsHasMyHeart · 18/05/2020 10:52

My eldest is 15 btw so none of these were recent! I just hated the hospital and was much more comfortable at home in my own space with my own people and my own things around me.

MNHQ

JoMumsnet · 18/05/2020 10:57

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Childbirth topic at the OP's request.

We really hope everything goes smoothly for you this time, RainbowFlowers. Best wishes from all at MNHQ.

HoppingPavlova · 18/05/2020 10:59

Because they are hotbeds of filth.
No matter how ‘dirty’ your home, it will never have the microbes a ‘clean’ hospital will have, particularly where post-surgical cases are involved.

1990shopefulftm · 18/05/2020 11:00

I m pregnant with my 1st, I d like it to be short because i m not the most comfortable person in hospitals and visiting at the moment is very restricted (an hour a day I believe) so I m nervous to have minimal help if I need to go to the ward when understandably the staff are under a lot of pressure.

we live about half a mile from the hospital so I d rather be recovering at home but I ve got the reassurance that I can get back there quickly if I have any concerns. I m just not comfortable with trying a home birth personally for a first baby.

AteAllTheAfterEights · 18/05/2020 11:00

I desperately wanted home as quickly as possible both times. The wards were hot and bright and noisy, I was bored, bed wasn’t comfy, shared loo, showers were grim. I wanted my own comforts to rest and recover.

cupoftea84 · 18/05/2020 11:01

Postnatal wards are a special kind of hell that in no way help new mothers.
Loud, hot, no privacy, lack of decent food, uncomfortable, shared bathrooms that in my experience were dirty because all the ladies using them are knackered and bleeding heavily. Add in screaming babies and traumatic births with no support. I suspect they lead to PND, my experience really didn't help my mental health.

Persipan · 18/05/2020 12:16

I just could not sleep there. It was so noisy, it was just as if every time I nodded off, Bugs Bunny dropped a comedy anvil somewhere in the corridor. I stayed a night (after being induced) and they wanted me there longer but I just couldn't be doing with it.

Persipan · 18/05/2020 12:17

Also, I'm vegetarian and if I had to eat the same jacket potato and salad one more time I would probably have cried just about that, let alone anything birth related!

Thescrewinthetuna · 18/05/2020 12:18

Postnatal wards are hell on earth. No privacy, very little help from busy midwives, other people’s visitors (not a problem at the moment I imagine), noisy as fuck, other people’s partners, shit food, not even a pillow. Hell. A necessary evil to stay on one for most.

mynameiscalypso · 18/05/2020 12:20

I was also desperate to get home and had agreed with my consultant that early discharge was a priority. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep in hospital (have PTSD) and it was agreed that it was far better and safer for me to be at home rather than not sleep for days on end (beyond the lack of sleep with a baby obviously).

pollysproggle · 18/05/2020 12:23

Just because hospital wards aren't very nice. They're hot and you can hear everyone else and their babies/visitors.
I couldn't relax or sleep the last time and couldn't wait to go home.
This time I know I'll have to stay in a little longer and I'm not looking forward to it

amazedmummy · 18/05/2020 12:24

I hated being in hospital I couldn't sleep well or get comfortable. The midwives helped when I needed them to but it's not the same as having DH there to split the workload. I stayed 2 nights and I would much rather have been out in 1. They said it was to help with establishing breastfeeding but the help I got didn't help much at all.

doughnutmuffin · 18/05/2020 12:24

First birth I went in at 6am on a Tuesday and left Thursday at 7pm, I liked it but had a private room and felt ready to go home. I would happily do the same again

WhatHaveIFound · 18/05/2020 12:28

First time around I stayed in for 2 nights with DD as we had trouble feeding. With hindsight I think I would have been better supported by my community midwife/support groups locally though you might not get as many home visits at this time.

Second time around I opted for a same day discharge as DS was born before midday. Midwife visits were almost non existant and I only saw the HV once.

Boomclaps · 18/05/2020 12:30

I want to be at home, with DH and the dog, drinking proper coffee out my mug and having food that I choose.
It’s going to be the hardest thing I ever do, and I don’t want to be doing it alone in a strange place.

Tropical2 · 18/05/2020 12:35

I spent four days in hospital when I had my son last year. I felt like I was in a prison. I had my own private en-suite room, no TV, I wasn't allowed to take the baby out of the room, I could leave but I had to leave the baby in there unattended. There was no shop, no vending machines, the food portions were tiny, I was hungry all the time. There was a day room where you could help yourself to tea and coffee between 8 am and 10 pm but often there were no cups or no milk. If I wanted to leave the ward I had to sign in and out so they always knew where I was. DP was only allowed to visit between 10 am and 8 pm. It was lights out and everyone in bed by 9 pm. I was bored out of my mind. Also the midwifes kept coming in and out of my room every hour day and night to check up on me and baby. On my last day I was told I was being discharged at 8 am, I didn't get out until 4 pm because the staff were too busy to do the paperwork and I had to wait. The paperwork took five minutes!

Squidwitch · 18/05/2020 12:46

I was in for four days mid nineties. I would hate to be out sooner, I could bond properly without random people coming in and expecting a cup of tea. Surely using your own bathroom is overrated? I mean passing huge clods of bloody gunk and not leaning on a proper handrail is hardly luxury. Also, dramatic/traumatic delivery or not, childbirth IS a huge and intensely physical thing, and you need time to just literally lay down. So often I think women are bizarrely washing up/ cooking meals/ entertaining when they should be just 'being' . And please don't start about having no choice, very few women in this country really NEED to be out in six hours. Obviously times are different now, but women who have just given birth should be treated like queens, not feel insta pressure to glam up and make a spag bol

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