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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Why do you want a short stay in hospital?

98 replies

RainbowFlowers · 18/05/2020 10:32

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with second pregnancy. My first birth was awful, this time I may have an elective c section but I'm also keeping an open mind for if I go into labour before then.

At my midwife & consultant appointments they seem to try to reassure me by telling me I won't have a long stay in hospital. I know due to corona they don't want people staying unesseraily. Also on threads here and people I have spoke to have made a point of saying that they were in and out quick and that was good.

Having a short stay at hospital doesn't reassure me. I don't want to be rushed out. I want to feel like I am ready. Especially since I didn't get to breast feed first time round so I would like the extra support with that this time. Also since it seems like health visitor appointments will be reduced following the birth I want to get as much support as possible at the hospital. I don't really understand where the assumption that I would like to leave quickly is coming from.

So I am just wondering what are peoples reasons for wanting to get out of hospital quickly? I feel like I am missing something.

Thank you

OP posts:

LivingForSummer · 18/05/2020 15:33

Last time I gave birth Tuesday evening and was discharged home Friday night, I hated every second on the post natal ward, couldn't wait to get home! There was a man next to me that never left and snored all night every night, I hated when my husband left for the night and I couldn't wait to get back to my home comforts...
I'm now almost 38 weeks and even before covid, I wanted to be in and out as quickly as possible! Now even more so as I'm lucky that we can pretty much isolate as a family at home so every new person I come in contact with in the hospital is a potential risk of me bringing covid home which terrifies me!
I think if you do want/need to stay, you can insist on it and they won't discharge you til you feel alright to leave.

Original poster

RainbowFlowers · 18/05/2020 16:01

Thanks everyone. Its made me realise how unusual my birth experience was. I was so sick that I didn't have anytime to be bored. I was either asleep, feeding or changing baby. But I had my own room where my husband was allowed to stay over night. I also appreciated having that rope thing at the end of my bed to help me sit up and get out of bed. This time hopefully I won't need that as surely I can't get sepsis twice!!

So this time I guess I'll be in a noisy ward on my own. Which I knew before I posted but I guess I didn't really think about the impact of that.

OP posts:

BeMorePacific · 18/05/2020 16:34

In 2016 I stayed in 2 nights post c section. But I was in a shared room with 3 other mums. I was the only breastfeeding mum, and everyone else’s baby seemed to sleep all night. Mine didn’t stop crying. So I really didn’t enjoy staying in hospital.
This time around, I don’t want to stay in as the midwives and drs will be around positive corona mothers. I don’t want to be at an increase of catching it when you feel crappy enough after birth! xx

amazedmummy · 18/05/2020 17:23

@RainbowFlowers we were readmitted for a feeding plan and we were in a private room that time and DH was allowed to stay which was better, I didn't get on with the ward at all.

goodnightsugarpop · 19/05/2020 00:34

I wanted to go home to have nice proper food as & when I wanted it, not stingy portions of hospital food that arrived on their schedule (& that I couldn't always eat cos they kept forgetting I'm lactose intolerant & bringing me things with dairy in...)

I wanted to have a really long hot shower and know that my mum or housemate was cuddling the baby, not have to leave him unattended in the cot while I showered

I was getting annoyed with one or two old school bossy midwives who kept telling me to put DS back in the cot and not stand up holding him

Mostly though I was just desperate for some sleep. The ward was noisy & lights on all night like others have said, but also I had a baby who would only sleep for up to 20 minutes at a time in the cot before waking up crying - if I wanted him to sleep more I had to stay awake to hold him! (This is still true 5 weeks later.... ) Hospital beds aren't safe for co-sleeping. After 2 nights with no sleep at all I'd had enough, I knew once I went home we could cuddle up in my bed, or I could get someone else to hold him while I slept between feeds.

TheHarryFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 19/05/2020 00:37

Because in hospital I had no support, couldn’t sleep in my own bed, couldn’t really sleep at all in fact, or relax and get to know my baby. Because the postnatal ward was a hideous place. So hideous I had a home birth for the next dc!

There’s really no support in hospital and the staff ime were the opposite of clued up about breastfeeding and I had to keep stopping them suggesting formula.

highmarkingsnowmobile · 19/05/2020 01:02

Too hot, noisy, uncomfortable, no privacy/sharing a bathroom, food sucks and you have to walk down the corridor to get it, other patients inconsiderate and talking all night. Postnatal wards are hell.

ChanklyBore · 19/05/2020 01:08

I didn’t want to go there at all. It seems like the opposite of comfort and support for me, they are what I get at home. So I stayed at home. I know not everyone is as lucky as I was.

Clementine8 · 19/05/2020 09:05

I had a cs 2 weeks ago. I didn’t want to be in long as I had a child at home that I wanted to get back to. My cs was late afternoon on a wed. By lunch time thur I was moving about and well enough to go home but I asked to stay a little longer to make sure BF was established. The hospital was absolutely fine with this.

strawberry2017 · 19/05/2020 09:17

I think you will find the wards a lot calmer then what's been described here.
I felt the same as everyone on here after my first but had my second 12 days ago and because everyone is so quick to go home, they are quieter and the staff have more time to help.
Plus I found there were more student midwives around and these were a god send.
Take the time you need. X

Rebelwithallthecause · 19/05/2020 09:20

I want a short stay as last time I gave birth the worst thing about it was being on the ward after

Didn’t sleep a wink until I got home few days later from the noise and having curtains opened all the time

Visitors coming in and men allowed to stay

Thank goodness they aren’t allowed to stay right now

RingaRosie · 19/05/2020 09:26

I’m hoping to have no complications, have the baby & leave. Community midwives, hopefully it will all work out for me.
Have only been in hospital a couple of times in my life, have never been badly sick. Hopefully birth won’t result in much sickness / damage.

Littleelffriend · 19/05/2020 09:26

I'm currently 33 weeks with my second, and want as short a stay as possible. Stayed 8 days on the ward with my first, as pps have said was starving the whole time, too hot, couldn't sleep and the other women on my ward had horrible shouty sweary visitors.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/05/2020 09:29

I thought I’d be desperate to stay in the hospital and anxious to take the baby home but actually leaving ASAP was all I wanted to do and that omg we have a baby on the drive home everyone talks about never really happened to me. Luckily “easy” delivery and went home after a night. Though my next labour later this year I may want to stay in and hide from having to deal with my toddler and a newborn

fedupandlookingforchange · 19/05/2020 09:34

It was too hot, and I was starving as they forgot to tell me the food had arrived (I had a c section) and when I did get some food there wasn't much and it was awful. And I only stayed one night last time, 36 hours in total. This time I'm aiming to be out in 24 hours especially as no visitors are allowed this time.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/05/2020 09:35

I spent 5 days in with DD1. It was hell. There was only 2 other patients in the room, but one baby had jaundice, 2 were twins, and mine had weight loss issues. There was just constant people. It was noisy, hot and I got no rest. Because I was stressed, DDs feeding got no better. Once I reached the magical point of her being back within 10% of birth weight, I was allowed home... And had no more issues.

DD2 was born at home!

Iwalkinmyclothing · 19/05/2020 09:37

I hated the post natal ward. I got no sleep, it was noisy, hot and bright, the food was really horrible, all I wanted to do was go home to my own bed and some peace and quiet and a bathroom not covered in other people's blood and hairs and get on with learning to care for my baby. Post natal wards are dreadful environments which seem to aim to give you the worst possible start to motherhood.

trilbydoll · 19/05/2020 09:41

The first time it was fine, I stayed 2 nights and would happily have stayed longer! The 2nd time was a lot busier and all night all you could hear was beeping from various equipment, it was like some kind of water torture also I wanted to get home to dd1.

No-one was interested in helping me with feeding as it was dd2 and as a result we ended up back in a few days later with a baby that wouldn't wake up. So I would agree with you that rushing home is not necessarily the best idea but if the staff are rushed off their feet you might feel it's not worth staying.

SidSparrow · 19/05/2020 09:45

For both DCs I stayed in the hospital the minimum amount of time required, DD2 I was in and out in a jiffy. It was a quick birth and I was out after about 2 hours.

I would say I'm quite independent and didn't feel the need for the support. I can google and I had a list of phone numbers in case I needed further advice. Plus I knew the midwives would be coming round the next day.

I did not want to stay in hospital, they're roasting, a lack of privacy, and they feel claustraphobic. Home is much more relaxing. You're in your own bed with DP making you cups of tea. That was another thing, they would only let DP stay the first night in the hospital and I didn't want to be away from him or for him to be on his own at such a special and exciting time.

kirinm · 19/05/2020 09:46

I had an elective section during the heatwave in 2018. Post natal ward was hot, busy and couldn't get any sleep. As I was in my allowed paracetamol and ibuprofen after the first 12hrs or so I don't think there was any point staying there.

kirinm · 19/05/2020 09:46

Wow 2 hours @SidSparrow ! That's pretty quick.

SidSparrow · 19/05/2020 09:46

Oh yeah, the ward gets noisy and during the day it's like a circus!

Fishfingersandwichplease · 19/05/2020 09:47

I never understood this either until l had a c section and they wouldn't let me out. All l wanted was my own bed and peace and quiet.

bluebluezoo · 19/05/2020 09:52

Ime it’s hot, noisy, and staff are too busy to be seen.

Any “help” with bf is none existent. Staff aren’t trained or ecperienced, and are too busy to do anything other than suggest formula at any opportunity.

There’s nobody to help at all. You’re better off at home where dh can fetch and carry, you can wash while someone watches your baby.

Honestly, all these ideas of resting up while staff are on hand to assist with every request is fantasy.

goodnightsugarpop · 19/05/2020 10:10

@trilbydoll OH MY GOD THE BEEPING

I'd totally forgotten about this until I saw your post but on the postnatal ward I was on, every time anyone pressed the button by her bed for help, it made a really loud repetitive beeping sound in every room on the whole ward

I was sharing a room with one other woman and it would have been fairly quiet and peaceful if the fucking buzzer on our wall hadn't sounded every time anybody else pressed their help button!

Whoever designed the system that way should be shot

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