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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Why do you want a short stay in hospital?

98 replies

RainbowFlowers · 18/05/2020 10:32

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with second pregnancy. My first birth was awful, this time I may have an elective c section but I'm also keeping an open mind for if I go into labour before then.

At my midwife & consultant appointments they seem to try to reassure me by telling me I won't have a long stay in hospital. I know due to corona they don't want people staying unesseraily. Also on threads here and people I have spoke to have made a point of saying that they were in and out quick and that was good.

Having a short stay at hospital doesn't reassure me. I don't want to be rushed out. I want to feel like I am ready. Especially since I didn't get to breast feed first time round so I would like the extra support with that this time. Also since it seems like health visitor appointments will be reduced following the birth I want to get as much support as possible at the hospital. I don't really understand where the assumption that I would like to leave quickly is coming from.

So I am just wondering what are peoples reasons for wanting to get out of hospital quickly? I feel like I am missing something.

Thank you

OP posts:

OhArsebags · 20/05/2020 17:26

My first experience was hell on earth though, it was 18 years ago and I was on a 12 bed bay.

No curtains were allowed to be closed, food was served in a dining area down a long corridor - not great after a section and there were no exceptions for them bribing food. I had an infection so was starved for three days.

Ds was in SCBU so I had to be on a ward with mothers with their babies, all I could hear was their visitors speculating if my baby had been taken into care or had died and no one would tell me how Ds was doing. Midwives didn’t give a shit. Lowest time of my life.

HauntedGoatFart · 20/05/2020 17:33

Cos hospital is fucking miserable. It's hot, noisy, the food is shit, it's impossible to get any decent sleep, nowhere for your DH to stay. Two days on postnatal enforced with my first and I was nearly hallucinating with exhaustion. If I'd known then what I know now I would have discharged myself, or let them discharge me straight from the birthing suite.

I paid for private postnatal ward with my second DC and it was worth every fucking penny. A little babymoon instead of an ordeal, with a private room, big double bed, own bathroom, lovely food for both of us, a midwife to take baby overnight between feeds. I will never voluntarily spend a night in an NHS postnatal ward again.

MooseBreath · 21/05/2020 18:12

With the current situation, I'd rather be at home where I know we haven't got Covid-19 or any other infectious virus. My DH will be able to be around to see the baby and help me with what I need, as he is only allowed to stay for 2 hours after the birth and can't come back. Obviously no other visitors on the ward or in my house at the moment, so that doesn't make a difference. I have the food I like at home. I can work on breastfeeding without feeling exposed. Also, I find hospitals really anxiety-inducing and like to think that if something is wrong with either me or the baby, that I would spot it and immediately call a midwife and/or go back to the hospital.

RhymingRabbit3 · 21/05/2020 18:15

First time I was hot, uncomfortable as not in my own bed, felt like I was under observation all the time by midwives or others on the ward so couldnt relax. I couldnt watch what I wanted on TV or have a long relaxing bath/shower. I couldnt eat what I wanted and when I wanted.

Second time, all of the above plus I wanted to get home to my older daughter.

Neither time I felt rushed out. They asked if I wanted to stay longer but I didnt. I'm sure if you dont feel happy to go home they wont make you leave.

muddlingmyway · 22/05/2020 20:00

As many others have said, it was hot, noisy, no privacy, food awful, bathrooms horrible, beds uncomfortable, boring. My partner couldn’t stay so I got zero sleep and nights were really stressful as I felt massively alone and was worried I’d fall asleep feeding baby and suffocate it or something. I was stuck in for a week, and left in the middle of the night the second I was allowed to.

Flumo · 23/05/2020 10:23

I stayed in for 5 nights with my first it was lovely, had my own room and the midwife were amazing! Second I stayed for 2 nights as I had strep b and needed to keep an eye on him, its was awful. Bigger hospital, a bag of 4 woman and babies, none sleeping all crying at the same time, different mothers crying all night because of the pain, no help at all with breastfeeding was just giving a bottle to give him. 35 weeks pregnant with 3rd and really hope for a very quick stay 🤞

georgiams · 23/05/2020 16:51

I had an elective section 9 days a go and they were trying to discharge me 20 hours after baby was born I told them I wasn't ready as have 2 other children at home. I stayed another night and definitely needed it ! X

Graffitiqueen · 23/05/2020 16:55

Being in hospital was hellish. I had a homebirth second time round as I hated it so much.

I got zero sleep due to my DS, the other babies, folk being wheeled in and out the whole time.

Hated having folk around when I was trying to breastfeed as the curtain kept getting whipped back.

One of the other fathers was absolutely horrid to his wife/partner and kept talking really loudly on his phone.

Sharing a bathroom with others felt really unhygienic.

Pipandmum · 23/05/2020 16:57

I've had two sections and stayed for four days each. Hospital was busy, loud, boring, food awful, no privacy, big ward. My home is quiet, peaceful, relaxing, my husband was there. No brainer.

MsChatterbox · 23/05/2020 17:08

I'm due my second next month. I'm so excited for my hospital stay. Looking forward to choosing my dinner from the menu and staying in bed all day just looking after baby. I know when I get home it will be crazy and hectic!

YinMnBlue · 23/05/2020 17:21

Horrible food
At a time not of your choosing
Terrible noise at night
Not dark enough at night
No one to leave baby with while you shower: the MWs put mine near the desk but he was crying unattended when I came back: couldn’t bear i
Horrible plastic coated mattress, feels horrible under the sheet.
Not ‘home’. Wanted to be nesting and ‘babymooning’.

bluebluezoo · 23/05/2020 18:26

So you took up a bed, another nights costs, plus the risk of coronavirus to you, your baby and the staff, because you didn’t want to go home to your children?

Presumably there was someone looking after them while you were in hospital? So it’s not as if you were going back to 3 kids on your own.

All that’s relevant to the midwives is that you are medically fit for discharge.

Micah · 23/05/2020 18:28

Let us know how that goes for you! Unless you’re private?

UnspeakableBode · 23/05/2020 18:35

In my experience maternity wards are the depths of hell. They're ridiculously hot, they're noisy often with inconsiderate visitors using the patients only facilities which when you're feeling vulnerable and bleeding having just had a baby finding the toilet is occupied by a partner is uncomfortable (although the current visiting restrictions might help with that). I got no support with breastfeeding despite asking time and time again. They did offer me formula several times though . The food was awful and I had to leave my new born baby to go and get it. I just wanted to be comfortable at home.

MsChatterbox · 23/05/2020 19:08

@Micah are you saying that due to the current covid situation? I had a really good experience last time, my friend is a midwife at my hospital and she says not much has changed besides visitors!

OhArsebags · 23/05/2020 19:35

@MsChatterbox my second experience was the same as yours (apart from grumpy, unhelpful and sometimes inconsolable midwives). I loved the fact I could chose from a menu and it would appear at my bedside! Once home I was back into the throng.

OhArsebags · 23/05/2020 19:35

*invisible midwives, not inconsolable!

muddlingmyway · 23/05/2020 19:42

Gosh then I think you were very fortunate with your hospital @MsChatterbox. In my hospital you had to go and get your food from the canteen and it was genuinely dire (I’m really not a picky eater in the slightest but it was honestly awful - unidentified cold brown gunge and a few soggy veggies most days, and it had often run out before everyone had eaten). Babies weren’t allowed in there so you had to leave them on the ward alone when you went to get food which seemed bizarre. Same with showering or going to the loo. Also the bed was so desperately uncomfortable I couldn’t bear to stay in it any longer than absolutely necessary, sweaty plastic and a thin nylon sheet . It sounds like not all hospitals are the same so I’m very jealous of those that had nice experiences!!

MsChatterbox · 23/05/2020 19:56

@OhArseBags honestly it felt like a hotel!! Every meal including breakfast was 3 course! Yes sure it's noisy and constantly getting checked but I have really fond memories. Sorry the midwives weren't very helpful at yours though!

MsChatterbox · 23/05/2020 19:57

@muddlingmyway that really does sound awful. Doesn't seem fair that it's a bit of a postcode lottery!

39Suzy · 23/05/2020 20:09

I stayed five days as DS was in NICU for 2 days then under NICU supervision but on the main ward. I was lucky i had a private room (shower and loo next door), loads of support (previously had a stillbirth and had a traumatic birth with this one), really good food (delivered to my room for the first few days as I was catheterised), and good care. Visitors could come and go as they pleased (obviously very different now).

Cleaning was shite (i had antibac wipes and had to ask for my bed to be changed a few times after accidents) but apart from that, I think I stayed the right amount of time. I had lots of support those first few days as I was not well, hadn't slept for three days and had a poorly baby. I thank my lucky stars we weren't turfed out prematurely. I can see why ladies with other kids at home would like that extra time.

Hope it all goes well x

mama202 · 23/05/2020 20:10

I had my little boy 6 weeks ago and we had to stay in for 5 days. It was awful. My DH only got to see him for a few hours and I didn't see my daughter for 6 days. I was on my own for most of the stay, watching the midwives come around and say to the other mums you can take your baby home now! I bet daddy can't wait to see him. 5 days of that combined with no sleep, no help and hormones was torture.

DrinkingInTheNightGarden · 24/05/2020 00:18

I had a four night stay post emergency c section, I just wanted to go home. Shared ward, it was hot, noisy and I felt like my journey couldn't really start until we were out of there.

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