Most embarrassing moment of childbirth?

[rainbow1982]

As I'm now 7 weeks away from giving birth I can't stop thinking about the big day and laughing at what mortifying things are pretty likely to happen, I.e pooping in front of my fiancé, swearing in front of total strangers etc.

What's the most embarrassing thing you've done/said during labour?

Gave birth just over 10 weeks ago. Had to be induced as the little madam was a big baby (9lb 9oz when she was born).
I remember having the second lot of whatever they gave me to try get things started and had the usual monitoring for an hour after. 2 and a half hours later i was still laid on the bed hooked up to the machine as they weren't overly happy with the data it was showing and they just wanted to make sure.
Anyway i finally was allowed to get up out of bed and walk around for a bit (I started getting achey and fed up not being able to move). Got up off the bed and headed to the bathroom before intending to go for a walk with my partner. TMI, but ended up having a bowel movement which wasn't very pleasant. Then suddenly while sitting on the toilet mid poo, I started throwing up uncontrollably all over the floor, on my knees, up the wall. And I'm sat there thinking "Oh no. I'm making a mess. I can't get up and throw up in the toilet because i haven't cleaned myself up yet" Chunks of pasta from lunch earlier just kept coming out. Partner opened the door to check if i was ok, and as he opened the door he smeared the sick across the floor with the door. He called the midwifes over and they're all just peaking their head through the door asking in their kind voice "Are you ok in there?". At that point i was just an absolute stinking mess, sick all over me, tears down my face and a feeling that my insides had just fallen out. I kept apologising to the midwives and they honestly didn't seem phased by it. They were great. About 6 hours later my baby girl was born . I was convinced i pissed myself several times during labour too. Stopped caring at that point haha.

Honestly?

I can’t remember and I really didn’t care during the time

I know I pooped during my second birth cos I remember the midwife just wiping it away but seriously, you don’t care.

You have no real dignity with your legs akimbo and nurses sticking their hands up there

Oh god reading this did remind me of a few things

With dd (first born), I bit my dh’s hand. The midwife stopped attending to me to check his hand. He still rubs this in

I got my revenge with ds though (the second born)

I had a really bad pressure and the midwife thought he would be born en caul. The sack was starting to really bulge so dh poked his head round to have a look just as the bag exploded. Both him and the midwife was covered in amniotic fluid

Ds was born pretty quick after that

I was drugged up on pethadine, gas and air and a mobile epidural. I had to go to the toilet and when I was wiping I could feel something. TMI but I thought I hadn't wiped properly, asked my DP to check for me. In the most loving and non judgemental way he said "no babe, that's just a pile". I was mortified and hysterical at the same time.

Homebirth. Christmas. 3am. Baby out, afterbirth not. MW recommended a walk to the bathroom.

MIL popped her head out of her bedroom and clocked me standing on the stairs stark naked, holding my placenta in with both hands.

I was having an induced labour and stupidly refused an epidural

The pain got so bad i literally projectile vomited all over the wall

I had an epidural shortly afterwards

After starting off in labour by myself and feeling quite good and calm, I got hooked up, under duress, to that God awful rocket fuel induction drip. Everything ramped up very very quickly and my body started to involuntarily push as they were just prepping the accompanying epidural. I violently pissed and shat myself with the sheer force of the pushes. Horrific.

I also pood myself when it came to the actual real pushing but I did not care and was glad it meant I was doing it right!

I ended up in theatre for a forceps delivery and that in itself was probably less dignified than shitting myself.

After first birth I was severely anemic. A lovely consultant came round to discuss a transfusion and I did THE smelliest silent fart ever...he very kindly didn't mention it or miss a beat...after effects of epidural...

Started bleeding the morning of my DDs day of birth so went into the hospital (she was 2 weeks early). There were two MWs and a student MW. Got on the bed. Spread my legs. Then one of the MWs asks my OH if he has a torch on his phone so he laughs and says yes and she very seriously says ‘well could we use it please, the light in this room is broken’ so they use his Huawei P20 to shine up my foof to see my cervix 🙈

Mid way through the check whilst the two MWs are leaning in to have a good look up my vaj from either side, I make eye contact with the student nurse stood straight in front of me and she does that head nod with raised-eyebrows-and-thin-lipped look mainly reserved for when there’s no other seats free on a train and you have to sit next to a stranger.

Most awkward and bizarre experience of my life 😂😂

I had a bad reaction to the pethidine and started hallucinating. I thought my midwife was a circus clown and refused to let her anywhere near me. She was very good about it and switched with a colleague.

With ds my husband was lovingly giving me a cuddle for support and I bit his shoulder-I also reminded him that he needed to take the penguin to the bank (thanks gas and air!)

The most embarrassing thing for me when I was in labour was (and bare in mind I was completely naked and on all fours!) when I turned round (with help) to lie on my back and wait for placenta, I realised there were 6 staff in total in the room, 3 of them at the door staring open mouthed and the others getting busy with me and baby - shortly after I'd passed placenta, I got up off the bed and got back into the birthing pool - some time later I walked down the corridor in a robe and had a shower with the curtain open - I was knackered and in another world and really didn't care who saw me - it's a strange feeling knowing what 6 strangers just saw of me, to not give a damn after that.

I can’t say I had an embarrassing moment. It was probably the least embarrassed I’ve ever been because at the time I just didn’t care about anything other than getting a baby out of me. It was very liberating!

My effing dp taking photos of me in the tub before the main event started.
I didn't care about anything once it was all happening. With hindsight it's pretty humiliating that they made you climb out of tub and sit on a metal bucket to produce the afterbirth. Like a slaughterhouse scene.

When my waters burst I shouted down the corridor to midwife (I’d had a lot of Gas and air been in hospital 30+ hours) excuse me either I’ve just p*ssed myself or my waters have just burst, she said probably your waters, then in the room, I proceeded to shout at this doctor who I called Tuesday man because I saw him every Tuesday, never ever saw him once, I was very out of it

Threatening to knock my then husband out if he touched my back again when I had a contraction. With hindsight it would have saved on the divorce bill.

I'm not actually bothered with anything happened during labour, even though I thought it would be as I definitely had a small poo (felt it and the midwife wiping) and had my feet in stirrups multiple times (once for my waters breaking, again for during pushing and then finally during forceps delivery in theatre). I didn't make much noise in labour, just a few mild groans into a pillow.

The only thing I felt bad about was after I returned to my room (babyless, as she went to NICU) the midwife brought in some jam and toast with water. Due to a PPH I was told to eat and needed to drink as I had a catheter in, so munched it down thinking it was amazing as I hadn't eaten for two days.

Five minutes later I promptly threw it all back up all over the floor, freaking out my DH who promptly ran to get a midwife. I apologised and offered to clear it up but was basically forced to sit down as I was clearly weak due to low haemoglobin.

Other thing I feel somewhat bad about is crying at the ward reception(?) where the midwives sat asking how long it would be until I could have a single room on the ward as the bay I was on had filled up with women and their babies and I didn't have mine. They were extremely sympathetic and told me places I could go to be on my own until it was ready.

@PatchworkElmer I too was given gas and air like it was the be all and end all only to discover it was useless and dried my mouth out.
At one point despite being told it wasn’t doing anything for me the mw suggested I use it and I threw it dramatically away from me and said “it’s fucking useless!”

I also had a fairly traumatic labour so when pushing time finally came I kept screaming “get it out of meeeeeeee” at the top of my lungs!

Oh! And not in labour itself but in my post labour theatre getting stitched up, legs in stirrups, covered in theatre sheeting, off my head on epidural and a spinal a verrry good looking aneastathist walked in and introduced himself as is the protocol. I giggled like a drunk and said hi I’m wingingit - sorry I don’t usually meet people lying like this!”

Mortified!!

I told a midwife only stupid people live in Wales 🙈 once when in labour and also I was absolutely off my face with pethidine haha

Honestly, it’s so bad that you don’t care.

I think that’s one of the best ways of describing how bad it is actually. Imagine a roomful of people staring at your unwaxed fanny, leaking blood and fluid. Possibly you’re shitting yourself, you can’t tell.

Can you imagine how much pain you need to not care about that?

I put makeup on before I went to the hospital. Hilarious

@WingingIt101 I am pleased to find someone else who feels the same about it (though obviously I’m sorry it didn’t work for you)- my friends think I’m insane!!