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Childbirth

Most embarrassing moment of childbirth?

122 replies

rainbow1982 · 18/04/2020 21:38

As I'm now 7 weeks away from giving birth I can't stop thinking about the big day and laughing at what mortifying things are pretty likely to happen, I.e pooping in front of my fiancé, swearing in front of total strangers etc.

What's the most embarrassing thing you've done/said during labour?

OP posts:
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user765 · 18/04/2020 23:14

Being shuffled down the labour ward corridor with my knickers round my ankles and a midwife on each arm crying that I had wet myself. Later I threw up all over one of those lovely midwives, who still kept smiling and holding my hand! Oh and at some point in the labour, with my legs open and up in stirrups with everything on display was also observed by a load of medical students. Can’t remember how many exactly but I do remember meeting one of them the next day leaving the hospital. He came over and asked how I was, at which point it all came flooding back and I was horrified.

Second birth was much more dignified, 45 mins and out he came, no mess, no screaming, nowhere near as painful!

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myfav · 18/04/2020 23:28

I don't think I'v pooed with any of mine, how do people know aside from if you see it? DD1 did poo in me mind you. I was sick as a dog, had to have 2 bags of fluid so as soon as DD1 was out I had to rush to the loo. I had gas and air which was honestly like being drunk, I kept nodding off and talking absolute rubbish.

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Rayshine13 · 18/04/2020 23:30

I kicked my midwife( tried to push her off but kicked anyways)🙈now in my defence I was very scared of getting vaginal examination ( because of vaginismus) but I didn’t expect it to be so fucking painful, some sort of bodily reflex kicked in I suppose🤷‍♀️. It was utterly embarrassing to say the least!

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BillyAndTheSillies · 18/04/2020 23:40

I didn't pooh with either DS.
Personally the most embarrassing bit for me was the transition with DS2. DH had gone home for some sleep, I was 3cm dilated. An hour later I was screaming, threatening to jump out of the window if they didn't give me something for the pain. I was like a woman possessed.

Turns out I'd gone from 4cm to ready to push in less than half an hour and that was just one constant contraction the whole time. Dh happened to pocket dial me and all he could hear was me screaming in agony so he jumped in the car, arriving 3 minutes before DS2 was born.

In hindsight I was scared and felt vulnerable on my own, trying to convince a midwife who had literally just told me I still had time that I was ready to push. She was really apologetic afterwards, as was I. Hated the idea that I was "that screaming woman in room 2" that day.

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EngagedAgain · 18/04/2020 23:48

@LunaHardy
You should have got them to snip it off! To the pp who done a curry poo, you and Luna are the most embarrassing in labour I think!

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Notnownotneverever · 18/04/2020 23:51

Slightly out of it weird flirty ramblings at the poor doctor who had been called in to stitch me up after the birth. Was high as a kite. Tad embarrassing now.

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PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 18/04/2020 23:58

Probably the bit where I was there with exDP. It’s mortifying that we were ever together.

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Snaga · 19/04/2020 00:04

I didn't have a great deal of success with the pain relief to the point that I had the Spanish Inquistion the next day about my non-existent recreational drug habit! so when an emergency section became necessary the anaesthetist had to do a spinal block. It was so effective and immediate I told him that I loved him...with my now husband glaring at me. Thankfully he realised it was just pure relief and not because I fancied him so it was laughed off. Took me weeks to live it down with my husband though!

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Underthefur · 19/04/2020 00:05

I was (unexpectedly) having DC2 on the bedroom floor with only now-XH present. When the paramedic arrived he greeted XH "hello mate" (other emergency services worker)

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YorkshirePud1 · 19/04/2020 00:05

Oh god. I'm due in just over 4 weeks with my first and these stories are making me laugh and want to run away and hide in equal measure. I've been worried throughout my pregnancy about the possibility of doing a poo in labour but am finding the fact it's so common oddly comforting. Will definitely be avoiding curry for a while though. 😂

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SingingSands · 19/04/2020 00:08

I'm blaming the gas and air for this, but I got a bit hoity toity with the (lovely!) midwife. Blush

I was so tired, and felt totally shattered, defeated and unmotivated. She was sitting in a rocking chair next to the bed, where I was leaning over the headboard and i snapped at her "do you even have any children?". Then she replied "yes, four" and I could hear DH give a snort from somewhere behind me.

I had the presence of mind to STFU and resumed sucking on the gas and mooing. BlushGrin

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EyeDrops · 19/04/2020 00:16

I didn't poo with either birth, but can honestly say that in the moment I totally ceased to care about the possibility. You lose all sense of decency and dignity, it just isn't important!!

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daisydalrymple · 19/04/2020 00:25

DC3 was 1hr 15mins, so transition was fairly quick, but I remember saying Just push the baby back up, I can’t do this! 🤣
No idea if I pooed with any of them, I told DH I never wanted to know!

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catfeets · 19/04/2020 01:55

I was in labour almost 3 days and spent a LOT of that time worrying I'd poo. I'd didn't Halo but kinda wish I did as it was over a week until I managed to Shock.
Early on in labour I had morphine and was off my face. My DP was feeding me chips but I forgot how to chew! Kept falling asleep with my mouth full of chips.

The most embarrassing part was when my waters went on the ward. Was feeling smug as I thought I'd made it to the toilet fine for the actual gush. No one warned me that there are front AND back waters and there's so much of it. Made it back to my bed, sat down and exploded. It just wouldn't stop pumping out of me. Had to wear a hospital gown for the next 48hrs of labour as I'd ruined my only set of pjs (wasn't expecting to be kept in so didn't have much stuff).

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ChristmasCarcass · 19/04/2020 02:02

Planned c-section. When I had my spinal put in, I was sitting on the edge of the operating table. They want my back curled more and my knees up, so I rest my feet on the arms of a chair (I’m a shortarse).

Spinal needle goes in, hits a nerve, my leg jerks off the chair arm and I fall off the table. Anaesthetist thinks I have tried to run away in fear of the needle.

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Catrina1999 · 19/04/2020 02:12

My midwife put a bedpan between my legs and left the room to give me privacy so I could do the poo that I'd been moaning about for ages . Turns out I'd gone from 2cm to 10cm in less than 15 minutes and the poo was actually my baby's head Grin

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WhoWhereWhy · 19/04/2020 02:14

I turned up in active labour - dd was delivered with 10 mins of being in the hospital - the midwife told me to push as dd was there and ready to come out; I called her a f-;king liar and she knew nothing as she didn't even know I was I labour when I turned up as she tried to turn me away .... made my mum look down there even though I swore blind she was to never look 😂*

My placenta didn't come out either as my body had started to shut down - so I had the nice student midwife basically stick her hand up me whilst I sat on what can only be described as an adult potty to "tug" on the short umbilical cord .....

Then, finally when the midwife was checking me internally for tears as I had done a lot of the pushing on the way to hospital - I told her to go fuck herself as she was a c**-t ..... in my defence it really really hurt as I had a graze internally and I did have a lot of gas and air for it Grin

However, my best mate is a midwife and she says the things she's seen / heard are just part and parcel of her job lol

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TheClootieDumplin · 19/04/2020 02:23

Surely they don't still do enemas do they? I didn't have one back in the 80's, but I remember my mum talking about it once, and thought major cringe

Trust me. Far better an enema than the amount of pooing mentioned on the thread.

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Lofari · 19/04/2020 02:30

Vaguely recall telling the midwife I'd changed my mind and didn't want to have a baby.........she laughed and handed me back the gas and air.
Had many examinations and doctors in there (ended up with emergency section) and i whispered to my DH ooooh every fuckers come for a look.
Yeah, I didn't whisper....Blush

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TheClootieDumplin · 19/04/2020 02:31

No idea if I pooed with any of them, I told DH I never wanted to know!

I have 5 children and I’ve been at the birth of all 6 of my grandchildren. None of the births involved poo but if they had I wouldn’t have mentioned it either.

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MrsPworkingmummy · 19/04/2020 02:37

Don't be scared of labour OP. It's not horrendous for everyone. My two labours were honestly both great. I didn't know what to expect and I actually loved them both. Wisdom tooth ache hurt me significantly more than labour.

For me, the most embarrassing thing probably was during my 2nd labour. It was very quick (around 90 minutes in total, including the 20 minute car journey). After being taken straight to the labour room, I lay on the birthing couch (no beds in this particular unit) waiting for the pool to be filled. I was having pretty strong contractions and my waters burst with one. They shot with force about 4 foot across the room almost like project vomit. My husband and the midwife were both laughing.

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OutOntheTilez · 19/04/2020 02:50

Oh, let’s see.

I was high on Demerol and the nurse said, “You’re five centimeters dilated. Time for your epidural!” and I started to giggle. She asked, “What’s so funny?” and I said, “Fine, you can give it to me, but I already can’t feel a fucking thing.”

Again, on Demerol, I had to go to the bathroom and no one else must have been in the room because I got out of bed, dragging the pole that supported my IV drip, ass hanging out of my flimsy gown, went into the bathroom and plopped down on the toilet. Then the nurse came back and said, “Oh my God, where is she?” I heard her running around the room. Then she opened the bathroom door and there I was, peeing. She waited until I was done and by that time my husband was back in the room and also standing at the bathroom door. I told them, “I have to go potty.”

Again on Demerol, I announced to the room that I had to poop, and the nurse said, “No, that’s the baby’s head. You just have to push.”

God bless that nurse.

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justanotherviron · 19/04/2020 04:07

I was being moved from the induction ward to the labour ward in the middle of the night. On the way we had to walk through another ward full of sleeping patients, my husband and doula were there helping with several midwives. I had to stop half way through the ward as a really powerful contraction started. I held on the end of a (luckily) empty bed, trying not to groan and disturb the patients. The contraction was so strong it forced an enormous and VERY long fart. There was nothing I could do, I thought it was never going to stop. I was dying inside from embarrassment at my husband hearing (this really was something extra special) and kind of laughing at the sleeping patients waking up to the groaning and super, super long trumping. I laughed about it when I was settled in the labour ward and nobody cared, my doula was very sweet about it. Now I think it is equally funny and mortifying!

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MollyBloomYes · 19/04/2020 04:30

Constant, never ending, slow squeaky trumps. Every single time I let one fly the midwife whispered in soothing tones 'good girl'
Was told off by the other midwife for 'getting carried away with all this moaning and groaning' apparently I needed to focus.
The top of the ventouse suction being forced off and pinging across the room due to the very very stuck nature of my son wasn't embarrassing so much as memorable.
And again-not really embarrassing but with my second the midwife told me that my placenta was the biggest one she'd ever seen and I felt ridiculously proud of myself and told everyone who came to see me; family AND medical staff 😂

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Hidinginshameofthememory · 19/04/2020 12:51

I've NC as this is mortifying, although at the time I really couldn't have cared less.

I had a temperature during the pushing stage of labour and they started to worry maybe I had an infection. Two huge dyson fans were brought in and placed at the end of the bed. Picture me akimbo with two fans pointing directly at my 'area' 😳 it was at this point that I think I had a little meltdown and started crying that I had pooped. My dh started telling me I hadn't (liar!) and I told him I knew I had because it stank and the fans were wafting it up at my face 😳😳😳 my mum had to leave as she was laughing too hard and felt bad as I was clearly in a lot of pain. The room then filled with people (I am told) as midwife pulled emergency button. I promptly declared to the consultant to pull the baby out if he could feel him, passed out then kept coming in and out of consciousness. I remember them saying they'd have to do an episiotomy and I asked them to make sure I didn't end up with only one hole for vagina and arse.

I also repeatedly said the midwife was telling me lies as the gas and air was doing nothing, even though I was clearly as drunk as a skunk.

I am not like this in actual life and would never say half the stuff I did during labour! I apologised to my midwife after and she said that she had actually found it very amusing, I hadn't been aggressive etc or rude so not to worry they'd seen it all!

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