Hospitals that don’t allow men to stay overnight

[NemophilistRebel]

In 2017 I gave birth in Watford and hated finding out that men were allowed to stay on the ward overnight, I was in for a week.

I’m due to give birth again this summer and although my midwife has tried to reassure me that Watford has improved she couldn’t confirm that men weren’t allowed to stay

Does anyone know if Stoke Mandeville or Luton and Dunstable hospitals allow men to stay overnight?

In which case no need for people to direct horrible comments towards women who are unhappy with men on wards overnight. The staffing levels aren’t their fault.

I haven't.

*the woman was a patient

So by that logic she has the right to disturb me, my OH, my baby and everyone else on the ward with her actions purely because she is a woman.

Where as my OH who was there getting me drinks food changing babies nappies doing what ever I needed should not have been there.

If I was told I was going to be in labour for 3 days in hospital all with out my OH I would have gone home which would have put mine and my babies life at risk.

Those of you saying no men on wards, how were your births? Did you nearly die, like me

Yes. And after the trauma I wanted peace and quiet for recovery, sleep, and rest.

Visiting hours were noisy, several arguments, one fight, phones, tv’s, toilets flushing, curtains being drawn. I was seriously relieved when everyone got sent home and I could relax rather than being on edge about who was moving curtain, hearing the conversation outside, whether anyone would come in...

If I was told I was going to be in labour for 3 days in hospital all with out my OH I would have gone home which would have put mine and my babies life at risk

No one is saying they can’t be there for labour. It’s the post natal period where you’re on a ward

The answer is obviously private rooms for every patient. Then partners can stay without disturbing others. That’s never going to happen though is it.
Until then while women have to stay on communal wards in close proximity, with shared bathrooms, no visitors should be allowed overnight.

Yes it makes no difference IMO how bad the birth was or close to dying you were as anyone staying overnight for multiple days has usually been through something

All I wanted was quiet. It’s a shock coming through a traumatic birth and having baby taken away

People always seem to ignore the posts about the dire state of some NHS maternity units, and the actual need for someone to help with basic tasks and care.

We had a man rip open the next ladies curtain and start shouting abuse at them about smelly food! He had been aggressive and rude to staff for a few days so the warning signs were there but no staff did anything. Now that poor woman who was breast feeding at the time was probably terrified with a strange man bursting through her curtain to shout at her.

We need to do a petition to stop this

@Grumbley I don’t think people are ignoring it - we all agree it is shocking but the solution to inadequate staff levels shouldn’t be leave it to family to take care of women on antenatal. It should be protest the treatment of women during and after childbirth - it’s shocking.

I'm mixed about this tbh I had my third baby 3 weeks ago and had my DH throughout from being induced in a private room to leaving the hospital.
The care was that bad we are allowed to have an inquiry about it all to discuss moving forward and to hold the midwives who were so bad accountable for how they treated me.
For one if my DH wasn't there my son when pushing would of fell of the bed and hit the floor as they wouldn't listen I needed to push and they had the back of the bed up and me at the bottom of it.
The midwives wouldn't let me move I started pushing baby cane out caught by my DH.
Was then denied paracetamol as my after pains were excruciating and was told I didn't need anything, DH had to go get me some from the shop.
Wasn't fed so had to get my DH to grab some food.
Without him I'd of been lost. Going back on to the ward I was exhausted hadn't slept in 48 hours was in pain so my DH had the baby whilst I slept on the ward.
Without him I don't think I'd of been ok doing it on my own as I was worn out and in shock.

My issues that I had with men on the ward were that, whilst my DH sat by my side curtain closed quiet as a mouse and helping. Another woman's DH kept farting and talking loud, kept walking up and down,
On the phone it just went on and on.

Then again there was a really annoying woman on the ward visiting her daughter too who kept talking to me randomly and asking me questions about the baby because my curtain was open. I just wanted to rest and be left alone

@peanutdust that sounds horrific
I hope you get answers and can move on positively after such an ordeal

@NemophilistRebel Thank you