Hubby doesn't want to be in delivery room

[auslass]

Hi,

Just had hubby tell me he's not sure he wants to be in the delivery room to see his daughter be born.

He didn't go into too much detail, to be honest the revelation was a little upsetting so I didn't want to spend time getting really upset.

Is this normal? I read lots of men just do it because it's expected not because they want to.

What I'm really wondering, is should I find another birth partner if he really doesn't want to be there? I'm now thinking I'll have it my head that he doesn't want to be there, and its going to cause me anxiety, which is probably the last thing I'm going to need when in labour.

Feeling pretty sad about it, any honest comments and advice welcome x

There was a really interesting programme on radio 4 today about men being present during birth. It had me in tears. Maybe worth a listen. Think it was on at about 11am.

I hope you manage to work this out to suit both of you, op. My dd was born with neither of us 'there' really as it was an emergency c section under general anaesthetic. There was no long lasting effect on any of us as it's what happens after the birth that really counts and we all made it through the birth alive and well and that was the main thing. Don't let the fact that other people have had what you might think of as the perfect birth make you think that your experience is anything less.

I would have found it very difficult to forgive DH for not being present. I didn't want to go through it either and had he opted out, I would have been very upset, especially after the conception had already happened. Because that takes your choice away and that's shitty.

The labour and birth also made DH see me in a different light. I'm a wimp about pain but was stoic and determined having DD. So he respects me as a mother in a very specific way. He saw what I did to produce DD. It was an important part of our relationship as parents.

I am very tired and very hormonal but @MrsTerryPratchett this made me well up.

The labour and birth also made DH see me in a different light. I'm a wimp about pain but was stoic and determined having DD. So he respects me as a mother in a very specific way. He saw what I did to produce DD. It was an important part of our relationship as parents.

One of my friends said he thought his wife was superwoman when she gave birth. It was a complicated and horrible me one and she had to deal with it like a champ. He was honestly bursting with pride and it made me ugly cry so proud of her too.