Can I opt for ELCS if it's my first child?

[liveinthemo]

Hi ladies..
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety. I am petrified of the thought of giving birth naturally and was wondering if it would be possible to opt for a ELCS? This is my first baby. I was also involved in quite a terrible car accident which involved the car flipping numerous times when I was 20 weeks pregnant which luckily enough the baby was ok but I have damaged my neck muscles really badly and now suffer from even worse anxiety.. this is making me more petrified of giving birth because of the pain in my neck and having to use my neck when pushing. Any advice would be really helpful right now. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant x

@puppymouse sorry to hear your reason OP. Glad it turned out well for you! Yep I will keep her out of it.. don't need the added stress!

OP you can say the consultant recommended it or you can just keep quiet and not bring it up again. If she’s aware you get anxiety you could probably shut down any questioning by saying you have decided not to think about it anymore and don’t want to discuss it as it makes you very anxious. If it were me I have to admit I’d end up being quite rude and telling her to mind her own bloody business or at the very least make a dig about how she’s not going to support me making my own decisions so I refuse to discuss it...

Always a nice snarky comment is to say something about how medicine has moved on in modern times and the procedure is much safer these days...also is she aware of how different an emergency c section is to a planned one?

I am not saying this to scare you, but if you end up panicking during the birth, surely that could result in more danger to you and the baby, or in an emergency section...you could point out to DM that with that in mind, you really have to put your baby’s safety first - she won’t want you blaming her for making the wrong decision I think.

All that said ... I hear that birth can be a calm and relaxed experience if you make sure you are comfortable with the set up and birth plan. Despite my upcoming ELCS, I did consider a VBAC. Strangely I felt that if I could go the complete opposite way and have a Home birth, it would all be okay. Much more calm and peaceful pushing in my own living room, tv on in the background....for me, we live very far from the nearest hospital though, so I didn’t want to chance it, but it could be an option for you. I read that you actually have 2-3 midwives with you the whole time if you are at home, whereas in hospital they kind of pop in and out. You’d probably be more relaxed in a setting you can control.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the ELCS but just so you know I’m not too biased!

@Pansy0926 my DM knows about my struggle with anxiety but refuses to acknowledge it and is not in any way supportive about it with me (would often tell me to get a grip/stop being pathetic/ I'm being dramatic/nothing is wrong with me etc) so I don't think she would understand my reasons why. I think I'm going to have to stick with telling her it is due to physical health reasons but won't be telling her until a lot nearer the time, that's even if I tell her at all! I have thought about a home birth but have decided it's not for me.. I do appreciate what you are saying though. I'm just too frightened of a vaginal birth altogether due to the circumstances

I don't remember my neck muscles being involved in squeezing babies out. Maybe I was doing it wrong? lol. ;-P

My neck was really painful for a few days after giving birth vaginally, I must've overextended it at some point or something. Very stiff.

postnatal, my lower back was quite bad... all those spasms, I guess. My neck was fine even though I'm a chronic whiplash sufferer so can easily provoke it.

Sounds like OP's mum is just concerned that OP not have a bad experience; EmCS can be quite difficult. Very different from most planned CS, though.

Prepare your self and you will have a better chance, I have had 3 c sections. Anxiety will still be the same every time I have had one I have been so nervous, pondering about the operation. It is not a walk in the park as some people suggest when they have never had one, whatever way you have the baby there is going to be a bit of anxiety regarding birth. C sections scars take time to heal and your body goes through so much more aswell, it is a major op I still have never recovered properly from the first time, laying on the operating table knowing what is going on is awful if you are constantly thinking.( I done that and regret it I couldn't stop panicking I prayed the whole way thru for it to be over quickly, I don't want to scare you but it may make you feel worse, a c section. All the best x

I don't remember my neck muscles being involved in squeezing babies out. Maybe I was doing it wrong? lol. ;-P

I appreciate you were trying to make a joke, albeit at the expense of op and her very real fear, but you highlight an important point.

Labour is a very personal thing. Someone’s neck might take the biggest hit, for someone else the lower back will be the thing you remember the most. For me it was my vocal cords from screaming, and my feet and toenails (from curling my toes in agony so hard for so many hours).

FWIW convulsing in pain isn’t going to do any part of the body much good - especially one that has been weakened in the very recent past.

However... it doesn’t really matter if op is truly at risk of struggling with her neck, whether it is an irrational fear, or whether it is a smokescreen for an overarching fear of labour and childbirth. The fear and the anxiety are real and someone laughing at or belittling a person’s anxiety doesn’t make the fear dissipate, it just makes the person internalise their fear... and feel pretty shit.

Hi OP, I had an elective CS for my first. No medical reason, I just decided I preferred that option (under the care of a private obstetrician & not UK).

I can't comment on how to make sure you get one but I can tell you it was very straightforward, went in Monday morning for a 9am op, home 48 hours later, walking to the shops within a week and swimming lengths at the pool about 4 weeks later. Scar now invisible (though not for long as I'll be having another for DC2 in June).

I never had any clotting injections afterwards - the midwife and ob said I'd recovered so well as I had checked out our hospital as soon as I could (moving round the house slowly much better than sitting in a hospital bed all day). Good luck.

All the best for tomorrow @liveinthemo

@liveinthemo I hope you don’t mind me checking in and asking how it went on Tuesday?