Can I opt for ELCS if it's my first child?

[liveinthemo]

Hi ladies..
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety. I am petrified of the thought of giving birth naturally and was wondering if it would be possible to opt for a ELCS? This is my first baby. I was also involved in quite a terrible car accident which involved the car flipping numerous times when I was 20 weeks pregnant which luckily enough the baby was ok but I have damaged my neck muscles really badly and now suffer from even worse anxiety.. this is making me more petrified of giving birth because of the pain in my neck and having to use my neck when pushing. Any advice would be really helpful right now. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant x

Have you spoken to a consultant about this? You need to get things moving if you are to have any chance of success in getting the type of birth you need.

@NotTakenUsername I was wondering who would be best to speak to about it? I have no clue how to go about it due to being a FTM

[[https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/caesarean-section/ If you're anxious about giving birth, you should be offered the chance to discuss your anxiety with a healthcare professional who can offer support during your pregnancy and labour.
If after discussion and support you still feel that a vaginal birth isn't an acceptable option, you're entitled to have a planned caesarean.]]

You need to get really bloody assertive! Especially as a first time Mum. I would assume they will try to fob you off.

@NotTakenUsername thank you for the link x

@NotTakenUsername do you think? Do you have any advice on what I should say? X

Arm yourself with knowledge. Print that link and highlight the relevant information.

Google birth anxiety. It doesn’t sound like Tokophobia from the limited information shared, but google that too.

Speak to the midwife. Do not let her put you off or play down your concerns.

Also... you will be ok, and you can do this either way. But your fear will cripple you, so you need to face this on now and get prepared for both vbac and elcs.

@NotTakenUsername thank you so much. I'll get on the computer straight away in the morning. I really hope they don't fob me off.. petrified is an understatement. I can't sleep!

Yes you could try your best on medical grounds, talk to midwife and GP about it GP might need to write a letter etc

Tell them you can’t sleep. Don’t let them play that down as ‘not getting comfortable’. Be clear it is you head that won’t switch off, not your body.

@theunsureone I'm due to start physio soon but they've bloody took their time! By the time I have my first physio appointment I only have a few weeks before my due date! I could cry

@NotTakenUsername I have a long history of really bad anxiety to the point where I used to not be able to leave the house. I'm going to explain to them that the fear of birth will end up with me back at square one with my anxiety when I've came so far!

Have you confided in anyone in real life? It’s so hard because everyone is apprehensive about giving birth... you need to be firm, clear and explicit. This is not a bit worried, this is fear and dread.

I've confided in both my DM and OH and both are extremely against me having a ELCS but they honestly don't understand how petrified I am. OH is convinced I'm at danger with an ELCS.. it's irritating haha

Tokophobia

@NotTakenUsername sorry forgot to mention you in previous reply. Thank you for that link. Should I speak to my community midwife?

Ok so that’s not helpful. DH doesn’t have to do this. He is a co-parent but the birth plan is your body, your choice. Once baby arrives you can work on the art of compromise.

Elcs carries risk. But you must balance everything together. Is that risk greater than the risk of a mental health relapse if you have a difficult birth?

Should I speak to my community midwife? yes that’s a good place to start. See them as gatekeepers though. They won’t hand any of this to you - you need to really advocate for yourself and keep saying it in different ways until they listen.

@NotTakenUsername he is so supportive in every other aspect but just overly worried about something going wrong in a ELCD because he's watched dad too many one born every minute episodes.. soft sod.
Yes that's exactly what I am thinking.. I'm petrified that this extreme anxiety will end up with me being trapped not being able to leave the house again! I don't want to set myself back

@NotTakenUsername yes I see what you mean. My community midwife isn't the most approachable of women, should I say, so I'll have to be strong with my wording!

I’d be tempted to show him this thread (and I never say that!)

It might help communicate to him how deep your fear goes.

strong with my wording!

Strong, firm and bloody polite! A very effective cocktail.

@NotTakenUsername bloody phone.. ELCS * and far was what I meant

I got one as I had areas incontinance
To the point of wetting myself loading the washing machine so I'd say your reasons are valid enough.
My consultant was very understanding but be prepared to be pushy.