Can I opt for ELCS if it's my first child?

[liveinthemo]

Hi ladies..
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety. I am petrified of the thought of giving birth naturally and was wondering if it would be possible to opt for a ELCS? This is my first baby. I was also involved in quite a terrible car accident which involved the car flipping numerous times when I was 20 weeks pregnant which luckily enough the baby was ok but I have damaged my neck muscles really badly and now suffer from even worse anxiety.. this is making me more petrified of giving birth because of the pain in my neck and having to use my neck when pushing. Any advice would be really helpful right now. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant x

And in informed there too...

@NotTakenUsername haha! I'm tempted to show him myself! Yes I'll have to be careful with what I say to her.. god I hope she listens to me

@madeyemoodysmum I have a consultant review over my growth Scan next Tuesday should I speak to him/her at the appointment over it?

You do realise the a C section is major surgery? You have to have injections in your tummy everyday for weeks afterwards to prevent clotting. Never mind not being able to lift or drive either for weeks and the scar left behind. Its truly dreadful and I hated the bloody injections! I would be more anxious about that than giving birth. I have given birth twice and had C section twice (due to huge baby and issues with placenta with the other). I would go for natural every time if I had the choice. Your recover quickly, you can go home with baby same day usually and your up and mobile right away. Get your physio on your neck and have a proper chat about your anxieties with your Midwife and Consultant. You need to be aware of the procedure and the risks involved and have an opportunity to make a balanced decision. Hope all goes well whatever you decide

I would definitely speak to your consultant. The sooner the better.

And for the record I never had daily injections and I've had two c section.

Excellent recovery driving after 4 weeks with second.

Wouldn't do it any other way.

I agree with bigbird. If you’re frightened of normal birth, how on earth will major surgery while awake in an operating theatre be an improvement?
You’re just adding a lot of extra risks, such as haemorrhage and post op infection, DVT, scar dehiscence and potential complications with future labours.
Please have a talk with the staff at your labour suite. If it’s just pain that worries you, ask the anaesthetist about having an epidural.
And bear in mind that a CS would be a lot more painful for many more days afterwards.

@madeyemoodysmum I don't actually know what to say.. think I'm going to try and get some sleep because after ready other comment I just want to run away! For god sake heart palpitations at its finest

Op I have sent you a pm. The well meaning posts about the risks might not help your anxiety any, it might be worth stepping back from the thread and starting your action plan tomorrow.

All risks will be outlined before you make a decision. You are going to be ok.

@NotTakenUsername yea I don't think it's helping so will take a step back. Thank you for your help I really appreciate it

You do realise the a C section is major surgery?
I would have thought you’d be hard pushed to find any women never mind a pregnant one who doesn’t know that.
You have to have injections in your tummy everyday for weeks afterwards to prevent clotting.
This depends on individual circumstances. I had to have 7 days worth. It was quick, virtually painless and nothing to worry about for me.
Never mind not being able to lift or drive either for weeks and the scar left behind.
Many women consider the restrictions on lifting and driving to be a good pay off when weighed against the pain, unpredictable nature of vaginal delivery. Many people’s scars are not particularly visible. I can only see mine when I go hunting for it.
Its truly dreadful and I hated the bloody injections! I would be more anxious about that than giving birth
That’s you though. Newsflash: not all women think the same.

I’ve had one elcs and I’d have another. No, the surgery isn’t pleasant. But you know what to me it wasn’t as scary as the thought of vaginal delivery- which still, 4 years on and I’m not actually pregnant- has the power to wake me up at night in a cold sweat.

It’s simply not as simple as ‘just get on with a natural delivery dear’. And the fobbing off is a scandal. It’s not ok.

@AppleKatie I'm coming out in a cold sweat right now thinking about it! Thank god for your reply you've made me feel like I'm not insane for wanting this ELCS. I HAVE thought about the risks of the 'major surgery' but I've also thought about the risks on my relationship with my OH and my soon to be DD if I can't even step foot outside my house with such bad anxiety. Can't imagine I'll feel great if that happens so ELCS sounds much better to me

"You have to have injections in your tummy everyday for weeks afterwards" Oh dearie me!! injections in your tummy?? I think the OP is a grown woman who has recently been through a dramatic car wreck so can probably figure out that a few injections don't make or break the issue for her

Don't listen to the c section downers op
It's a safe way to have a baby especially when planned.

Anyway like other posters I'd say close this thread and talk to the professionals. Be honest and open.
Tell them you have a very real fear of birth.

It is real
And I honestly think my dd my Have it in the future as she shows signs. She is only 14 btw and no where near having a baby lol. But she won't watch progs where women have babies. Even things like soaps and period drama.

It's a very real fear Good luck op.

I've had 2 sections, both were fantastic experiences with mininal pain and excellent recovery. The statistics for emergency sections and elective sections used to be merged which does not give a true relection on how safe an ELCS is because an Emergency section is exactly that, already an emergency. In my local hospital at least they are very very pro VB and it would take a bit of a fight to get them to agree, can you speak to your consultant and if they are not onboard you should be able to go through a process at your hospital to explain exactly what you want.

I’m pleased I could help OP. That post just wound me up last night.

You’ve got to make the decision that’s right for you. Do go prepared when you talk to the hospital though.

My experience was this: midwifes were lovey and practically talked me into the elcs when I told them everything. The consultant was dreadful- used the phrase ‘you owe a natural delivery to your husband’ 😲. I didn’t by the way. Once I sat through 40 or so minutes of a dreadful consultant appointment I was made to return for another and then a ‘birth options clinic’. And then it was granted.

It varies area to area but you may need to be strong if you’re unlucky.

Would anyone have any advice on what I can say to my DM and OH? I know their faces will drop when I tell them again how much I want to have an ELCS.. that's also getting my anxiety right back up! They seem so against it and just don't seem to listen to me!

Show them this thread.

It's your body and your baby (ok dh too)
But your the one who has to bring it into this world.

Just spoke to DF about it. We have a very close relationship, he's very easy to talk to. He basically just said "tell DM it's your choice and that's the end of it, you want to know what's going to happen and be organised about the birth" DM btw is very difficult to talk to so will also have to be strong with my words. On the other hand OH will just be told, I think!

@AppleKatie god I can't believe they actually said that to you! The cheek! I think I'm going to speak to the community midwife about it and then speak to the consultant at my appointment next Tuesday

You have to have injections in your tummy everyday for weeks afterwards to prevent clotting.

Yup. Teeny tiny needle, no issue whatsoever. Literally zero problem. In, press, done. If you have a phobia of needles it’s probably a different matter but really don’t be scared of the injections, they’re easy.
The scar is now minimally visible two years on (and it was a big one, hip to hip.)
Yes recovery is harder than a straightforward VB bit it’s often easier than a complex, or instrumentally assisted VB.

You have to go through this, not your OH or anyone else. It’s your body and your choice. I would certainly be open to any counselling you’re offered for the anxiety - but if after that you want an elcs it’s your choice.

Be prepared to push. Roughly 1/4 of trusts are very anti

Not everyone has a nice easy delivery whether it be natural or not. They damaged my spinal cord when doing the spinal in preparation for my c section. They tried 5 times and those needles are not small and hit my spinal cord and i got a shock causing me to jump off the bed. Left me with long term back problems and recovery was alot longer. As for the tummy injections I inject my son every night. These injections after a section are larger and I hated them. It's your choice what you decide however i am a little unclear why you wouldn't be similarly anxious at going in for surgery? Instead of coming on MN go and speak to health professionals who are in a better position to advise. They usually will support you eventually if you still push ahead for a section.

@bigbird50 I was involved I a major car accident at 20 weeks pregnant which not only scared the living day lights out of me (they feared that I was going to end up paralysed after a bone had moved in my neck) but also suffer from extreme anxiety of the unknown of a natural birth (what could happen, not being in control etc) so having a set date for an ELCS and knowing exactly what is likely to happen will put my mind at rest. My OH is taking 4 weeks paternity leave anyway so will be able to help me recover. I am already seeing a specialist midwife over my anxiety and I'm due to start physio soon (which is starting far too late) and I feel as thought it is the right choice for me.

I think the most important thing is to have the type of birth YOU feel most confident in. If you are stressed and anxious a VB will not be easy, and increase your risk of intervention of some sort anyway.

I opted for an ELCS 6 months ago with my first. I was anxious about birth, but in terms of my ability to physically cope. I have fibromyalgia and had bad SPD, and didn't want to worsen or cause a flare up of either. I just felt ELCS would be better for me personally. I asked the receptionist in the antenatal unit at hospital to book me an appt with whoever I needed to discuss the possibility with. I saw a consultant, who did try to put me off in the appt but said he would refer on maternal request (not on medical reasons) if that's what I wanted.

Tell

Tell you DP/mum that one born is edited to look more dramatic, that yes ELCS is major surgery, but a very safe routine major surgery. Of course there is chance things go wrong, but so can they in VB too. It's not like our going from zero risk to more risk - pregnancy and all births have some degree of risk.

ELCS are calm and planned, there is no rush so they are less risky than emergency ones.

Lots of scaremongering on here, obviously everybody is different but don't fear it. I was in very little pain post surgery. I was in hospital 2 nights, an up and about going out way before most of my friends who had VBs. Yes the anti clotting injections aren't nice, but they are more than a pin prick than an actual injection - a flu jab is worse. You can barely see my scar. I would 100% have an ELCS again.

Good luck OP x