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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Can I opt for ELCS if it's my first child?

86 replies

liveinthemo · 24/04/2018 22:21

Hi ladies..
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety. I am petrified of the thought of giving birth naturally and was wondering if it would be possible to opt for a ELCS? This is my first baby. I was also involved in quite a terrible car accident which involved the car flipping numerous times when I was 20 weeks pregnant which luckily enough the baby was ok but I have damaged my neck muscles really badly and now suffer from even worse anxiety.. this is making me more petrified of giving birth because of the pain in my neck and having to use my neck when pushing. Any advice would be really helpful right now. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant x

OP posts:
liveinthemo · 25/04/2018 10:43

@sohypnotic your experience sounds fantastic. Thank you so much for sharing! I know a few people who have had traumatic VB that they still haven't fully recovered from and that is my worst nightmare! Hopefully I'll get this ELCS x

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 25/04/2018 12:56

Bigbird50 you are projecting and scaremongering and given the context of the thread that is actually incredibly unkind.

however i am a little unclear why you wouldn't be similarly anxious at going in for surgery?

Then you have absolutely no place doling out advice when you have no experience or understand of birth anxiety or Tokophobia.

This is not the thread for your scaremongering, op needs support to get through the next ten weeks. THATS why she came to Mumsnet. To get a bit of support and advice. She didn’t even know where to start before she asked the question. Starting this thread was a really positive choice.

Bowlofbabelfish · 25/04/2018 13:08

I find it very dispiriting that women are not given a fully autonomous choice over how they give birth. And that one must beg and be ‘frightened’ in order to have a section - as though it couldn’t possibly be that you’ve looked at the options and have made an informed choice that this is what is best for you.

If men did so, all the options would be on the table. I find it quite disgraceful that women have to jump through these hoops.

The issue of cost is often raised, although with the fear that ‘we'd all do it’ - where free choice is allowed in similar cultures rates seem to peak in the mid thirties percent and there is new work being done to compare the cost of a section with that of a lifetime of physio, pelvic floor repair and morbidity/lost work time from ongoing problems related to birth injury.

My view is that anyone who wants a section and who has been through a process to consent fully with proper informed consent should have one.

MeadowHay · 27/04/2018 22:15

Is there a point where it gets too late to start asking for one? I'm 32 and a half weeks and my last fundal height measurement had my baby suddenly shoot up to the 95th centile on my growth chart. If it continued at that it would be nearly 10 lbs if I went overdue, I know there are bigger babies but I'm only 5'4 and a size 8-10. I also have an anxiety disorder and am getting increasingly anxious about giving birth, but more so now that I face the prospect of a very large baby. If the baby continues to measure very large I am seriously considering requesting an ELCS for that reason as the thought of having a horrendous VB due to a large baby is making me ill. I am also wondering whether I should be asking for a referral to the perinatal mental health team now? I declined at my booking appointment as didn't see the point as I've sort of learnt to live with my anxiety disorder really and given up hope of things really improving but now I am getting worse winding myself up about childbirth.

Sorry not trying to hijack the thread just there are lots of knowledgeable ladies on here.

Bowlofbabelfish · 28/04/2018 07:06

Fundal height is a very crude measure.

You can ask any time you like - be pushy and prepared to fight.

NotTakenUsername · 28/04/2018 07:15

I agree with @Bowlofbabelfish. I wouldn’t go in with the angle of big baby. They will explain it away. You need to be clear and firm that you want a section. You must be prepared to fight. You must be well informed about the risks. You must be willing to call out impressive educated health care professionals who will, in good faith, minimise your concerns.
Perinatal mental health is a great idea. Do not be passive about this. Giving birth is both very natural but also very personal. Do not be fobbed off by statistics.

@liveinthemo how has your week went? Have you made any progress? How are you coping day to day?

GoodMorning1 · 28/04/2018 07:22

You have to have injections in your tummy everyday for weeks afterwards to prevent clotting

I only had these for five days and I had them in my leg not my tummy.

Raaaaaah · 28/04/2018 07:35

32 weeks isn’t too late. Slightly different in that it was my third child but I had a discussion with my consultant about a planned c section at 39 weeksShock and I didn’t need to push at all. He was calm and considerate and said that it was entirely my choice. In the event just having the option made me feel confident to have a vaginal birth. Not all consultants are ogres, many really do have yours and your best interests at heart. All the very best of luck.
Ooh and I had anticoagulant injections even after a vaginal. They are the smallest needles you have ever seen!

ChickadooChickadee · 28/04/2018 07:38

Not sure if anyone has suggested this yet but it sounds like you really need to focus on your anxiety. I've never given birth before so can't help you with your initial question, but as an anxiety sufferer myself who is 12 weeks pregnant and absolutely bloody terrified of every twinge, you have my empathy! Thanks

NotTakenUsername · 28/04/2018 07:49

and I didn’t need to push at all

Raaaah I’m sure I am not alone in wishing your story ended with a cs simply for that epic pun!

Grin
liveinthemo · 28/04/2018 08:00

@NotTakenUsername I have an appointment in the hospital about a review of the growth Scan I've had on Tuesday and I'm planning on speaking to the consultant then. Feel massively uncomfortable speaking to my community midwife about it! And also my OH is coming to the appointment on Tuesday with me so it's 2 against 1 haGrin

OP posts:
Qcumber · 28/04/2018 10:03

Hi OP
I had an ELCS for my first.
I told my midwife that's what I wanted and she made an appointment with a midwife at the hospital. I spoke to her and she was lovely. I had no medical reasons for an ELCS, 'just' anxiety. She was very understanding and made an appointment with the consultant. She actually warned me I may need to push a bit for it if the consultant wasn't keen.
So the consultant appointment wasn't as easy. She was really trying to convince me to have a 'natural' birth. Going on and on about the benefits of a vaginal birth and the risks of a c section. I just listened to what she said and kept repeating 'I am aware of the risks and have decided a c section is the best option for me.'
It wasn't a particularly nice experience especially if you aren't naturally assertive. I didn't take my DP with me as I knew he would be swayed. It's not his decision so he was not relevant.
She signed off on the c section after about half an hour of back and forth. A small price to pay for the birth I wanted.
If the consultant you see doesn't agree to give you an ELCS they HAVE to refer you to one who will. This is your right, don't leave until you either have your ELCS signed off or you have a referral to another consultant.
My c section actually ended up happening the next day due to pre eclampsia, so technically an 'emergency' c section but I wasn't in labour and it was very calm, as my ELCS would have been.
Ignore the posters trying to scare you into a vaginal birth. Both carry risks. You're not stupid. It's your right to weigh up the pros and cons of both an decide for yourself.
Good luck Thanks

MeadowHay · 28/04/2018 10:24

Thank you. With me I'm not dead set on the idea yet though. It's just something I am considering. Like I would rather have a vaginal birth and avoid instrumental delivery, that would be my ideal birth. But I think I would rather have an ELCS than attempt a vaginal birth if my baby is going to be very big. And I think I would rather have an EMCS than instrumental delivery in all but the most extreme circumstances should I end up giving birth vaginally but cannot do it unassisted. There's just so much to think about and I want to have my mind clear about what I will and won't consent to. My DH is 100% supportive though and will help me advocate for whatever I want to do which is really useful as otherwise I clam up with my anxiety and can't express myself properly.

This thread is super useful thank you to OP for starting it and all the helpful ladies who have given advice.

NotTakenUsername · 28/04/2018 13:44

And also my OH is coming to the appointment on Tuesday with me

My hospital sees women for a short period before the partner is allowed to join, as pregnancy can often be when a man first becomes abusive Sad. That’s just a bit of trivia, but it does make me wonder how useful it is that we praise men who tag along to all these appointments (but then take the piss in the antenatal classes or prioritise a social life over ‘reading the baby books’...)

I don’t see the need for your husband to be there but if I’m honest but I feel quite angry about a) how he feels he gets a say in how you give birth and b) how society seems to think they get a vote or opinion on how is best for any woman to bring her baby from the womb.

There should be much less chatter and much more listening when it comes to birth anxieties and phobia.

Think very carefully about what his role is in attending this appointment, if not to advocate for you? He is not entitled to be at the birth, much less at every private medical appointment you attend. You may invite him, or decline to invite him. He doesn’t just get the right to attend because it is his baby. Until baby is born YOU are the priority.

Oh, ranty ranty ranty! I feel very strongly about this topic.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 28/04/2018 16:45

With respect bigbird, you have only experienced sections and not vaginal birth. Your experiences were obviously bad, and you are the sole expert on that topic, but you also do not know whether you'd have had better or worse ones if you'd been in a position to attempt a vaginal delivery. The things you are saying about normal birth, they're simply not true for loads of us. I actually have done both, but I'd still never presume to tell a woman which is better or worse.

OP, have a look at the NICE guidance. Take it with you if necessary.

Pansy0926 · 29/04/2018 00:22

Hi, I just want to let you know, DO NOT listen to anyone who is against you having an elective c section if that is what you want. From what I can tell, when people tell horror stories about c sections to persuade you against having one, they are usually talking about unplanned (ie emergency) c sections. Where you have already begun to labour or give birth, and then are rushed into surgery. At this point you have to be knocked out for the procedure (I think) rather than awake. This is NOT the same as elective c section, where you don’t experience labour at all and you are calm and prepared.

I had an elective c section because my baby was breach. I had toyed with the idea anyway as I was afraid of the pain and complications of natural birth, so I was quite eager when baby’s breach position meant that they offered me a c section. Anyone I spoke to subtly disapproved.

Well I was in and out of the theatre in about twenty minutes (I think), alert and awake the entire time (though of course I felt not pain and didnt see anything gory because of a screen and had my baby sleeping on my chest skin to skin right away. I was up and walking that night, I was not in pain at all, though I felt a bit wobbly and delicate. Due to the section, I ended up in hospital for three nights rather than one or none. Because of this I had breast feeding coaching whenever I needed it and was able to work through the difficulties I had with a midwife at any time of the day or night, rather than struggling alone at home where I am sure I would have given up. Note, I did not have problems due to the section, just difficulty understanding how to get baby to latch, and sore nipples.

I understand I was probably quite lucky but I truly believe c sections have a bad reputation due to people telling stories about their emergency c sections, which afterall happened when things were already going badly wrong. Also, I’m scared to type this...but I think a lot of (not all though ) people also kind of convince themselves your losing out on something by not experiencing childbirth, when in fact they are saying that to convince themselves there was a reason they went through so much trauma. I literally listened to a woman at work go on about how she almost died having her fourth and was very badly affected by all her births. She went on about all her problems she has now downstairs....and then told me I was missing out by having a c section and I would regret it!

Finally, with the fear you have, unless you are successful with hypnonirthing or are able to get Over your fear somehow, chances are you will have a bad experience purely because you are worked up. So speak up for yourself, don’t downplay anything and demand, don’t ask.

JoanFrenulum · 29/04/2018 01:46

Well, VB carries all sorts of risks too, quite as bad as elcs. I had emcs and over here you don't have any injections at all. They make you get up and start walking around the same day to prevent clotting instead. People like to bang on about how natural is best but it really isn't always.

When dealing with consultants, go in with a written list of everything you want to say, and write down everything they say.

liveinthemo · 29/04/2018 10:43

@NotTakenUsername haha I understand where you are coming from OP I felt anger towards him at first completely but I think he was more concerned about me, whereas my DM is driving me INSANE. I know my OH will support my decision and stick by me in helping to persuade consultant but my DM on the other hand is so very opinionated about it. She had an emergency c section with me and is mortified that I want an ELCS. Also OH never comes to appointments with me usually due to him working I usually tell him not to take time off work because I'm ok on my own, but I've asked him to come with me this time just for some support really. I don't know how to tell my DM that I just really want an ELCS without her kicking off?
P.s me and DM relationship is very up and down should I sayGrin

I'm close to just telling her "I don't give a F**K what you have to say!!!!!" HahaGrin

OP posts:
liveinthemo · 29/04/2018 10:46

@Pansy0926 thank you! You sound so positive about it.. makes me feel much better! I genuinely just feel anxious about how to tell DM because of how bloody opinionated she is about it. I'm actually wondering wether not to tell her now and just tell her later on that I'm having an ELCS due to baby being breach or something (I know, lying isn't good, but I don't know what else to do without her trying to persuade me to have a vaginal birth!!). Oh god I really wish I didn't care about other people's opinionsHmmwould make life so much easier!!

OP posts:
liveinthemo · 29/04/2018 10:47

@JoanFrenulum thank you.. I have a list of everything I'm wanting to say to the consultant so just hoping it goes well on Tuesday now!

OP posts:
Pansy0926 · 29/04/2018 11:11

OP, people will assume you are just having a regular birth unless you say otherwise. Unless DM will be in the room with you, she’s not going to know until you tell her after. I mean you are going into hospital and leaving with a baby -how is she going to know you are going into a c section? Unless she’s driving you...If I were you I would just not bring it up again. I myself still don’t bring up the ELCS I am going to have in a couple of weeks if I can’t be bothered having the inevitable regrets discussion

liveinthemo · 29/04/2018 11:27

@Pansy0926 so do you think it's best just not to tell her? It would avoid listening to her unwanted opinions haha!Grin

OP posts:
shouldwestayorshouldwego · 29/04/2018 11:29

'DM the consultant has reviewed my medical history and has recommended that I have an ELCS. Unless you have covertly studied medicine and are a qualified obstetrician I am going to defer to his/her judgement on this one.' Good luck on Tuesday.

liveinthemo · 29/04/2018 12:18

@shouldwestayorshouldwego brilliant! Love it! That will shut her up. Thank you! Grin

OP posts:
puppymouse · 29/04/2018 12:54

OP just leave your DM out of it. Mine was against me having an ELCS (my first DC too) as was my sister (who's never had a child.) My DM had an emergency one with my sister and couldn't move much afterwards so didn't want that for me. Sadly neither of them knew part of my reason was rape/abuse related which was why I was so confident it was right thing to do. I told DH it was the only way I would consider having a baby so he had to go along with my wishes despite worrying too.

I raised it with my midwife who was supportive. I then had a disastrous appointment with the consultant who barely gave me the time of day and gave me a leaflet on VBACs and ushered me out. I had thought it would be ok so I totally freaked and had a panic attack at the thought of leaving without it being agreed.

Luckily the head midwife was on duty at the hospital at the time and just booked me in for a home visit to assess me. She then wrote to the consultant and told them it was her advice I should have a section. Consultant agreed and nearly 5 years on I have no regrets at all and couldn't be happier with how it all went.

Fight for what is right for you.

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