Hi.
I’m hoping there are others out there that can help me feel like I’m not going completely insane. I gave birth to my second DS on Wednesday morning, after an induction that started at 11am on Monday due to reduced fetal heart rate. I’m hoping writing it down might help how I’m feeling or that I can come to terms with it. First DS is 6 and it’s been a long time since I did it first time around.
I had 2 lots of the prostin tablet, which gave me some contractions but they amounted to nothing. At 2am on the Tuesday morning I was put back on the monitor, then swiftly moved to the HDU observation ward due to another reduced fetal heart rate for a couple of minutes. The Gynae doctor came in to see me, and said they were going to observe me a little longer and continue to monitor him before moving me to labour ward to break my waters.
By this point I was getting really upset and emotional and had convinced myself it was going to end in a section.
Eventually at 19.30 on Tuesday I got moved into the delivery suite ready for my waters to be broken when the shift had changed over.
A lovely midwife and student came in at 19.45 and explained what would happen next. They monitored his heart rate, had a chat about what would happen, and eventually at 20.45 my waters were broken. They monitored him for another 20 minutes and then said I could get up and shower/have a wander to see if anything started. So myself and hubby wandered up the hospital grounds to Asda and bought sandwiches/drinks before returning to the labour room for the next part.
At 22.30ish they canulated me ready for the synto drip which they started at 23.00.
This is where it gets a bit blurry. I know that I had pains which I dealt with fine for the next hour or so. And I got up, used the toilet etc. I know at some point after that I asked for Gas and Air and was given it. And I know the pain got worse and I then had pethadine.
Then everything is a bit blurry. I remember asking for an epidural. The midwife said that was fine and left the room to organise it. I remember her coming back in with the drugs and I was on the toilet screeching. She asked me if I was pushing. I know they hurriedly helped me back to the bed and were trying to get the monitor back on. At which point the lovely gynae doctor and the senior midwife entered the room. They said they could see his head. And the doctor said that his heart rate had dropped again and I needed to give them a big push or she would need to help me get him out.
He arrived safe and soundly about 3 minutes later with very little pushing.
But I keep bursting into tears and asking my husband details about what happened because I feel like I’ve lost about 4 hours of my life. And he can’t tell me. He says he was more worried about me and trying to support me. I feel really tearful simply because I feel like I don’t know what happened. And I can’t come to terms with how quickly he arrived in the end.
Is this normal? Am I going mad? It also seems so weird that this time last week I was pregnant and suddenly I have this baby. I have no complaints with the midwife or the student - they were fab. It’s just my emotions I’m struggling with.
Thanks in advance for reading and if anyone can reassure me.