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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

anyone have a vaginal birth and later wish they'd had a c-section?

141 replies

izzzie · 22/04/2007 13:52

hello
i have a big fear of tearing and also of damaging my pelvic floor (already got problems in that department, though kegels are helping a lot.) and am considering elective c-section but am aware it's no picnic and would rather have a natural birth if I can get over these fears. I don't want to live to regret my decision, ie, go for a natural birth and end up a real mess and wishing i'd followed my instinct which is that a c-section might be better for me personally, despite all the downsides to it.
I was just wondering about other people's experiences - if you had a 3rd/4th degree tear, or if you are suffering from incontinence after birth, did you later really wish you'd had a c-section?
any advice/experiences gratefully received...i'm doing a lot of reading and researching..

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lulumama · 27/04/2007 12:50

how about training as a doula??

newgirl · 27/04/2007 13:31

i was encouraged by all to have a vbac and took nct refresher classes to help me prepare mentally - the teacher was just lovely - id really recommend it

however, when baby stayed breech and measured large i went for c-section. one of the lovely things was the nct teacher and all professionals were just as supportive with that too.

they deal with such a range of women with different feelings/wants/needs that i think they need to let mum take the lead - i think everyone i dealt with was fab

Loopymumsy · 27/04/2007 16:30

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lulumama · 27/04/2007 16:43

oh, i looked into that too, but considering different one now, thrugh childbirth international...where are you based , looopy.

Loopymumsy · 27/04/2007 16:52

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lulumama · 27/04/2007 16:52

aawwww....bless you !! we;ll have to try and find a mid point somewhere in the country !!

Loopymumsy · 27/04/2007 18:06

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Klaw · 27/04/2007 22:59

Ah Loopymumsy, that's so nice of you to say that!

I'm currently looking into how we can get Pam England of Birthing Within to come to Scotland next year. She is doing workshops in London, Glastonbury and Bristol in September this year, some for professionals, some for parents-to-be. Check out the link to see if there is anything to interest you.... I emailed her to say come to Scotland and she said maybe next year, Do I have good contacts? Don't know if I do but I'll bleeding well try!

I hope that we can get them to come to Scotland and if it means I arrange it, so be it! We have the 28th Triennial ICM Congress at the beginning of June next year in Glasgow so it might be useful to get them here just before or after that!

Lulu, I've also looked at CI website and considered them seriously!

Getting back to the topic of this thread, if we had more mw like mears, Mary Cronk, Ina May, Sheila Kitzinger etc, and antenatal classes that were more useful than a chocolate fireguard we wouldn't have so many traumatic births. Just look at Ina May's stats - Fewer than 2% CS, fewer than 1% instrumental delivery! And then we wouldn't have women scared witless about a melon when in fact it is a baby's head which is DESIGNED to mould and shape itself to move down the birth canal and through the pelvis, and we all have a perineum which, even when scarred from previous episiotemy, is extremely elastic! We need to educate our sisters, cousins, friends, daughters and granddaughters that our bodies are marvellous and very well designed to birth our babies, even though we walk tall.

If you have any doubt about your pelvis, stand with one hand on your pubic bone in front and the other on your tailbone. Lean forward until your torso is parallel to the floor. What do you notice? Bet you feel more space between your hands when you lean forward! Your pelvis opens up to 28% more if you do NOT recline.

I'm ranting again! All this is information that I never received before my first birth (amongst much, much more!) that could have helped me to avoid that first CS,

but then I wouldn't have attempted a VBAC the next time and wouldn't have met so many wonderful, strong, funny women who I now have as friends.

And we wouldn't now be part of a revolution in childbirth that is slowly growing and helping other women to have better, more satisfying births, whether they be VB or CS. Childbirth is not purely a physical process, it is very much an emotional process too.

Not sure if I can go on to train as a mw, would hate to be constrained by outdated protocols which put labouring women at greater risk than they are designed to alleviate!

I wish every pg woman reading this can go on to have an empowered birth (VB OR CS)

lulumama · 28/04/2007 09:41

all excellent points Klaw

re the melon thing !

couldn;t agree more.......a babies head is mouldable...the bones can slide over each other as the baby is birthed, the fact that if a baby is in one place to long during birth they have a pointier head is a testament to the fact the skull is mouldable !

so not at all the same as sh*ing a melon, a most unhelpful analogy, as the melon is a fixed shape

divastrop · 28/04/2007 21:10

i just want to add that my 2 traumatic birth experiences were the ones where i was drugged up to the eyeballs and had no control whatsoever over what was happening,and the 3 pleasent experiences were those i managed on G+A and the wonderful natural painkillers your body produces when you relax and do what feels natural

foxcub · 28/04/2007 21:46

Diva I agree so much. Its often the feeling of lack of control which can happen which is is traumatic - rather than actual pain levels. Which goes back to what other posters are saying about understanding what happens when the baby comes out and feeling you have choices about what happens next...

juuule · 29/04/2007 13:50

Great post Klaw.

Klaw · 29/04/2007 18:37

Why, thank you for saying so, Juule!!!

I do worry sometimes that my enthusiasm and passion overtakes me and others might feel I come on too strong.... I do mean it from the very bottom of my heart, or maybe it's from the heart of my 'bottom'!!!

The only reasons we needed help to birth our babies, and where obstetrics comes from, is the Industrial revolution era when poor nutrition caused rickets and malformation in pelvises, poor hygeine which caused raging infections and men who wanted easy access to see our fanjo's when in childbirth, hence the lithotomy position.

Before this there was NOT a 25-30% death rate and need for CS, so why do we need it now when we have excellent hygeine (in general) and fabulous health, absolutely no rickets!

Viva la (childbirth) revolution!

juuule · 29/04/2007 19:47

You're welcome
It is because of people like you who do speak up with passion and point these things out that people like me are made aware of how straightforward and nothing to be afraid of birth can be. And finding out about how birth works made a huge difference to my experiences.
So you just keep on spreading the word

Bethbe · 30/04/2007 17:31

As I understand it I had a straightforward natural birth with excellent care in an ensuite room with wallpaper etc., but I found the experience very traumatic and am finding it difficult to understand a)how it is exactly that I'm supposed to 'forget' the pain as I was promised and b)how the NHS/NCT anyone really, can expect women to go through that when there are alternatives available!

Lulumama, - do you mind if I take you up on your email offer, - I don't feel right contacting the other organisations when I can't think of anything that actually went wrong or different to my birth-plan. My DH wants more kids, but at the moment I'd refuse unless I had a written contract with my GP that I could have a c/section BEFORE I conceived!

Bethbe · 30/04/2007 17:34

Er, - a contract before I conceived, - not a c/section.........obviously!

lulumama · 30/04/2007 17:44

please do

mail @ motheringinstincts.com

no gaps !

the hotmail one has been very problematic of late !

Klaw · 30/04/2007 17:58

Bethbe,

My mum had me after a difficult birth due to PE, and swore she wouldn't go through that again. But went to her doc and said what you're saying and was told that she could have a elCS so off she went and conceived my sister, who was delivered by CS.

So although it goes against the grain for me personally, I would always support a woman who felt the need to ask for a CS. I would definitely encourage councelling to deal with your issues, though, so I'm sure Lulumama will help you.

You may feel that you have no right to feel the way you do because you beleive that you did not have a traumatic birth but your feelings are ENTIRELY real and valid and deserve to be acknowledged. Don't put yourself down, OK?

Wishing you well!

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/09/2007 19:14

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StarlightMcKenzie · 27/09/2007 19:16

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lulumama · 27/09/2007 19:19

congratulations

i hope you have a more positive experience

am still a bit, well, baffled, by how you feel

am absolutely not denigrating your experience in any way at all. but it is quite rare, IME, a fairly straightforward VB results in the sort of trauma that makes a mother want to elect for c.s

hmmmmmmmm

would you not consider a VB with a doula?

anyhoo. glad to hear the happy news that baby number 2 is on the way

PSCMUM · 27/09/2007 19:34

YEs. DD contracted rare but awful illness from me during birth which could have been avoided had she been born by section. I will never deliver vaginally again. there are many advantages!

PSCMUM · 27/09/2007 19:38

And also Yes for my own mum! She had 4 of us, the youngest by c -section, and has said ever since 'why didn't i do that for all of you?' so much easier.

i just think go for whatever feels right for you. You are going to be in diabolical pain and distress when you are giving birth vaginally, so if you have doubts and uncertainties and fear that you are doing ti wrong on top fo that - you could really find the whole experience terrible. On theother hand you might sail through it! but do whatever makes YOU happy, you are the mum, you have to look after the baby, the happier you are, happier baby will be.

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/09/2007 19:48

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lulumama · 27/09/2007 19:51

am sorry to hear that PCS

starlight. your MW sounds great !
just what you need

when you due?

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