anyone have a vaginal birth and later wish they'd had a c-section?

[izzzie]

hello
i have a big fear of tearing and also of damaging my pelvic floor (already got problems in that department, though kegels are helping a lot.) and am considering elective c-section but am aware it's no picnic and would rather have a natural birth if I can get over these fears. I don't want to live to regret my decision, ie, go for a natural birth and end up a real mess and wishing i'd followed my instinct which is that a c-section might be better for me personally, despite all the downsides to it.
I was just wondering about other people's experiences - if you had a 3rd/4th degree tear, or if you are suffering from incontinence after birth, did you later really wish you'd had a c-section?
any advice/experiences gratefully received...i'm doing a lot of reading and researching..

don't let anyone tell you, it's up to you how you feel. if you don't feel mentally up to it, this is 2007, there is a choice.
my experience:
dd1, natural & unassisted birth, mobile epidural, contractions 3 or 4 minutes apart allowed to continue for 58 1/2 hours for reasons unknown. dd1 umbilical cord snapped during delivery & it turned out to only about 5 inches long.
she was full term and healthy, with a really good, hefty weight.

i had a bit of a phobia about giving birth because of knowing that my mum had suffered with me (forceps)so i had been using perineal massage for a few weeks and also gave birth to her on allfours so pressure would not be on perineum, as i had a phobia of tearing and/or episiotomy: i was lucky and got away without either. dd1 was not so lucky and she turned out later to have hemiplegia (a form of cerebral palsy)from the birth.
(she's fab though, but that's another thread.....)

we then went through a few years of total hell trying to find out what was wrong, what had happened, getting no answers, blocked by nhs etc etc. very traumatic and stressful. i was slightly 'out of my head' with it all.

so when we decided to try for dd2, we knew before we started that although i could have physically given birth again, mentally i couldn't handle the thought of anything other than c-section: i wanted/needed total control (well, as much control as you can get in anything in life!)i needed the birth to be as predicable as possible.

this was denied to us by several different jobsworths, but by being persistent (in other words being a p.i.t.a.) eventually we got a 'yes'.

it really helped that dd2 was delivered on a set/date time known in advance, didn't feel a thing, calm controlled environment, over in 40 minutes.
the pain level? harsh, but only when you move from one position to another (e.g.push yourself up the bed, etc.) unlike contractions, which can't be escaped in any position. this doesn't last long, and while you are in hospital for 5 days, this means you get proper pain relief and are taking it easy.

then for the next couple of weeks, it feels like severe bruising/muscular ache: but you take painkillers.
driving, it's ok after a few weeks with insurance company's permission. i used tea tree oil or a splash of dettol in the bath, also had some calendula cream for the scar. (which is virtually invisible by the way)

this is just my personal experience, and having tried one of each type of birth, i like the c-section better because it's more predictable: but best friend, for example, gave birth to her dd totally naturally, no stitches, in about 20 minutes, she is totally healthy.

i noticed reading through the thread that the people who say a c-section was awful are usually the ones who haven't ever had a natural birth they have nothing to compare it to. no offence meant by the way

i know a lot of people might disagree with me posting this, accusing me of scaremongering, well i don't care, this was my experience: it's not scaremongering, it was just what happened to me.
obviously that' s not going to happen to everyone else but that's how it was.
i know a lot of people also think c-sections are wrong unless it's life or death, well i respect that's their opinion - but i couldn't have mentally coped otherwise.no-one knows how their birth is going to go, and we have choices nowadays thank god.

I had a midwife-led natural active birth in an NHS hospital for my first (and so far only) daughter. Labour lasted 9 hours from first contraction to holding baby in my arms, I had no medical intervention and no tears.

The only intervention of any kind was a visit to an (private) osteopath a couple of weeks before my due date, on the advice of my NHS midwife who said my daughter was in a bad position (and she was very crushed, with slight positional talipes and a flattened forehead at birth). The osteopath got her chin tucked in and all was fine after that.

Would do exactly the same thing again. I wish everyone had such an easy time.

I had a midwife-led natural active birth in an NHS hospital for my first (and so far only) daughter. Labour lasted 9 hours from first contraction to holding baby in my arms, I had no medical intervention and no tears.

The only intervention of any kind was a visit to an (private) osteopath a couple of weeks before my due date, on the advice of my NHS midwife who said my daughter was in a bad position (and she was very crushed, with slight positional talipes and a flattened forehead at birth). The osteopath got her chin tucked in and all was fine after that.

Would do exactly the same thing again. I wish everyone had such an easy time.

I think the problem with this is that you won't know how bad/good either scenario might be until you've done it. Experiences of c-sections and recovery can be as varied as vaginal birth. If it helps though, here is my experience of cs.

Ds was born at 34 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia, so no labour, just planned-from-day-before cs (still says em-cs on notes), ds went straight to NICU. For me the op was no problem at all, only pain was the numbing injection before the spinal block went in and that wasn't too bad. Pain started with a vengeance in the recovery room. I was on a morphine drip and had a little button I could press every five mins or so to dose myself. Can remember lying there staring at this button waiting for it to rise up fully so that I could press it again. Mws were lovely though, even buttered my toast for me! By the next day I wasn't in pain if I lay flat on my back or sat still. I had morphine for four days in hospital and came home on paracetemol and codeine. It was probably 3 weeks before I could walk any distance without discomfort and I drove after 5 weeks. I know people have said not to bother about this, but I really couldn't have driven before then, and I was youngish (27), healthy weight, no complications etc. Tried an emergency stop and rang the insurance company - like RedFraggle said, they didn't care! Ds now 8 months old and scar still itches/twinges and is tender if knocked. Obviously some people recover faster than this, some slower. Regardless, it will make caring for your baby tough so you will need a lot of support.

Psychological aspect is also worth considering - if cs is elective you are probably more prepared but as other posters have said I feel cheated and empty for not giving birth or experiencing labour.

Sorry for epic - try not to stress too much and however it turns out, it'll all be worth it for the little person you get at the end!

There are some really nice 'positive birth story' threads around somewhere that you may want to read.

I had a wonderful birth experience - a planned home birth, fantastic support, 15 hour labour, small tear, no stitches - I wouldn't have changed a thing. Having had minor abdominal surgery in the past and knowing how painful I found the recovery from that, there's no way I would have opted for a c-section had I not needed to.

By all means, do your research - but you really could go round in circles - you can become obsessed and after all, it's life afterbirth that's the really exciting part. However, that doesn't mean you should underestimate the importance of a positive birth experience. Go into labour informed, positive, relaxed and supported and you'll be giving yourself the best chance of a 'good birth'.

i think the most important things when 'planning' a birth are 1 - what will result in a healthy & happy babay, and 2 - what will result in a healthy & happy mum?
i think most of us would go through a lot if it means the baby is fine at the end.

i'd planned a natural birth but ended up with a mammoth episode resulting in emergency cs after days of labour. i'd had operations before so knew that i bounce back quite quickly. dd was born 8pm one eve, i was on my feet by 7 am next day. it is sore, but more in a bruised kind of way, but after 2 days i stopped taking pain killers & even had to be called back from doing something to get the anti-co-agulants as i was bed bound
otoh another woman, in at the same time as me, was very ill, and had to inform work that she would be off for at least 6 months, again because of an em cs, due to further complications. it was the complications rather than the cs that caused this.
so, the surgery itself, although it shouldn't be taken lightly, is possible to recover from quite well. personally, it's the complications of a 'natural birth' getting difficult that i found hard - my opinion is that either it happens relatively easily, or to go straight for cs, everything else just seems to prolong things. i'm sure other people would disagree.
friends of mine who've had both, say that natural birth is much quicker to recover from, but i was back infull action within 4 weeks, even driving. depends how desperate you are to go out with your lo?

I had a vaginal birth that ended with a large episiotomy that turned into a nasty scar that still troubles me. Oh and I also had fissures that were sheer hell for months.

Yes, I do feel I could go back in time and have a C-section. "It's major surgery" and all that but I have friends who were up and around after a week while I was in bed crying my eyes out because of the pain for three whole weeks.

And if I will have a large cut and stitches somewhere, I'd rather have it on my abdomen and not down there where everything is so delicate AND it's impossible to keep clean. Next baby is a c-section for me.

Of course it was all worth it, since as a result we now have DD, but it would have been so much better if I had not been so useless for so long after her birth.

no

Hi Izzie
I understand your fear - I was scared of having a baby most of my life ever since I was 10 and my friends told me that I would have trouble having babies as I don't have "child bearing hips"!! My mother was horrified! This changed when I was in America and read a book I found at my yoga class - it made me realise that I could take control of my birth rather than rely on the doctors to make my decisions - I then returned to the UK and hired a doula and opted (last minute) for a home birth. I have had 2 home births and I am happy to say that both went without a stitch or tear in sight. I know not everyone is that lucky but I was so relaxed at home, I was almost in a trance and my body just took over and did the work. I think it is important to know that not all births have to be horror stories... it is a hard decision though but you should go with your instincts if you really feel scared - there is no shame in having a C-section!!

There are so many risks involved with a c section. Not everyone is up and about and sorted after a week as someone mentioned on here.
I had a butcher who made a right mess of my belly! It was also incredibly painful as the epidural was crap.
Afterwards I couldn't feel my bladder for a few months so had to go to the loo regularly just in case. and my bowels were knackered for a while too.
I piss when I sneeze now because being pregnant puts a strain on pelvic floor anyway not just vaginal birth. Doing exercises which help cos I REFUSE to wear tenna lady!!
I'm ok now 10 months on but still my belly needs A LOT of work which is slightly annoying.
Also bear in mind the higher risk of cot death associated with c section babies.
And also bear in mind a lot of ladies find it harder to breast feed after a section cos of all the drugs especially morphine and the fact you cant move and they leave you in a room with baby in a cot thing out of your reach so no skin to skin to stimulate milk.
However, after all this negative information I think you should go with YOUR instincts because you know whats right for you and your experience could easily be million times better than mine!!
Go to natalhypnotherapy.co.uk her cd's are EXTREMELY helpful even if you have a c section.

LOts of luck to you and I hope whatever you decide its a wonderful experience!!xxxx

Just want to add that Bozzy is so right when she said about relaxation! Thats the key! Our bodies are designed for vaginal birth and its only fear induced tension which creates the tight muscles etc which then lead to tears. You can also massage the area and gradually stretch it in preparation

i would like to thank everyone so much for all the messages - it has been amazing reading everybody's different views and experiences.
It seems on balance most people think going for a natural birth is better if at all possible and it is great to read some encouraging posts from people who have had GOOD experiences of going for it.
At the end of the day there are no guarantees but whatever happens at least I will know I really looked into the pros and cons first.
xxx

I had a big baby in the birthing pool; no stitches hence my nickname. Waterbirth worked well for me twice. More trouble with pelvic floor after first baby ("dry land") but that was probably more to do with its being the first time, and also the mw was directing me to push when I had no urge - I later heard that it is a moot point among mws as to whether this is good policy.

You have to be a low risk mother to be allowed a waterbirth.

I had an episiotomy (ds was a ventouse delivery). I had minimal discomfort for a few days after the birth and every now and then the scar 'prickles' a bit, but it healed fantastically. I am (sorry tmi) ever so slightly 'windier' since the birth, but still extremely glad I didn't have a section. I may have to have one this time round for placenta praevia and while it won't be the end of the world, I'd much rather have a VB.

izzzie apologies if i am repeating someone else, but....

i was having a lot of back problems (and my pelvic floor, whilst not acting up, could be stronger). my physio thought pilates would be the best to strengthen the core stability - your pelvic floor area, stomach muscles etc.

im not explaining this very well, but he did say that because i had a c-section (emergency with first dc) the muscles or something had been cut. it is therefore more difficult to build up strength.

apparantly after two c sections the pelvic floor area is like after a vaginal birth (obv not taking into acount tearing!)

Had a long and quite traumatic labour 4 1/2 months ago - after about 26 hours they told me a c-section was the only option - I signed the consent form, was wheeled off to theatre where they scrubbed me up and readied me for surgery. I was really upset and asked to be given another chance to deliver vaginally. The doctor said she would allow me a few more tries with ventouse and then forceps - this went on for a quite a while and I eventually gave birth to my DD. However I have to say that looking back I don't think the c-section would have been the end of the world - the protracted nature of the birth has left me with quite a few problems but until you go into labour yourself you can't know what's going to be right for you. Basically what I'm saying is it's impossible to know in advance how it's going to go - maybe you should try going naturally and take it from there and if it's proving too much opt, if you need to, for a section and make sure that your midwife knows where you stand. The whole process is no cakewalk but the maternity staff around you help women to do this every day and their support and advice will see you through...

I had an emergency c-section following induction, and with hindsight I wish I'd had the courage to insist on c-section rather than induction, especially as the reason for the induction was that the consultant thought dd was going to be really tiny, which could have meant that she had been starved of nutrients and possibly oxygen. Thankfully he was wrong on all counts, but I could have done without the stress. To top it off, she then got stuck, and after 3 hours of pushing my blood pressure hit the ceiling. By that time, I really didn't care how my baby was born, I just wanted her out.

Afterwards, I did feel a bit that I had somehow failed as a woman and missed out on something special, especially when someone made a flippant remark about more women having sections these days. But putting that into perspective, less women and babies die or are permanently damaged by childbirth these days. Experiences may vary on this, but the midwives and nurses looking after me did their best to help me bf, including lifting dd out of her cot for me whenever I wanted, and I had fantastic support at home from my NHS midwives. I also had a lot of support from my family, which made a huge difference, because I could do very little for a couple of weeks, besides feed dd, sleep and eat. I suspect I might have been in better shape if I had not had a long labour. If I have another baby, I'm going for an elective section.

At the end of the day, Izzie, do what is right for you, and when you make your decision, be proud of it. Making a decision is taking control of the situation; it's the unplanned things that happen that are stressful (and if the unplanned does happen, then don't beat yourself up about it).

I've had a VBAC with episiotemy and forceps and I had a bad time with infection afterwards and a perineal haematoma, I also have slight incontinence which needs more work on the kegels... I did not have too bad a time recovering from my emCS physically, the usual infection but nothing more. I was emotionally affected tho!

But I absolutely do NOT regret going for my VBAC. For me a VB is, emotionally, far superior to an elCS, which is major abdominal surgery and has greater risks than VB.

If you do not want to end up a real mess and want your VB to be a good experience I suggest you do a lot of research about childbirth and learn about how your body is designed to birth, keeping interventions to a minimum. How i wish I'd had the internet for research before I had my son 13.5 years ago...

Have a look at Dr Sarah Buckley , as well as Pelvises I Have Known and Loved for starters.

HTH

I had an emergency c-section with number one and will prolly have an elective with number two.
I think it depends on your attitude to childbirth. I don't feel that for me, the whole giving birth thing was that important. It's (hopefully) one day compared to the rest of your life.
I've never felt any regrets or guilt about not having a vaginal delivery. For me it feels so tivial compared to being a parent day in, day out.

I'm the opposite. I had to have an emergency section and i wish i had had a vaginal delivery. I had a really awful experience.

Izzy - I have had three vaginal births and 2nd degree tears with both. They heal up in about a week and the stitches dissolve so its no big deal.

Had a rather traumatic brith with my third who got stuck - but I don't regret it and felt rather proud of myself afterwards when I saw my beautiful baby. A CS is a major op and as a result carries far more potential risks than a vag birth - the recovery time is far longer too.

i had a natural mw led birth in an nhs birthing centre. great brith experience, and horrendous post birth experience where no one wanted to stitch my apparently nasty 2nd degree tear. eventually they did- i had some problems with my scar which needed to be fixed with surgery a few motnhs on. i am fine now, mind you, i don't think anyone will ever be the same down there after giving birth vaginally, but i am by and large fine. i think if anything the experience of having a troublesome scar has made me even more fearful of a c-section next time round- people talk about a scar in their tummies, but unless i got something wrong, you have a deep scar in your uterus too- doesn't sound too nice.

giving birth aint' easy- but it's also wonderful and awesome, and only us women can do it cos we are so great. so we shoudl all wear our scars with pride, and be proud of our changed bodies cos they did something amazing!!

Can I just say that I don't believe any of you who say you had all those nasty tears and stitches and they healed up all nice and well in no time?

Sorry. Just had to say it.

This is an episiotomy. And this is a third degree tear.

I sincerely apologize if this offends anyone. I hope it doesn't.

why would anyone lie about that?

why is it so hard to accept that a womans body would heal after birth, which is what it is designed for?

not designed for major abdominal surgery , which takes weeks to heal from !