anyone have a vaginal birth and later wish they'd had a c-section?

[izzzie]

hello
i have a big fear of tearing and also of damaging my pelvic floor (already got problems in that department, though kegels are helping a lot.) and am considering elective c-section but am aware it's no picnic and would rather have a natural birth if I can get over these fears. I don't want to live to regret my decision, ie, go for a natural birth and end up a real mess and wishing i'd followed my instinct which is that a c-section might be better for me personally, despite all the downsides to it.
I was just wondering about other people's experiences - if you had a 3rd/4th degree tear, or if you are suffering from incontinence after birth, did you later really wish you'd had a c-section?
any advice/experiences gratefully received...i'm doing a lot of reading and researching..

are you apologising for the images or for calling people on this thread liars?

Ah. So many of the posters on this thread are either liars or deluded?

I don't really believe that you're sorry for any offence caused at all. How about that?

What are you on about, please, think about what you are saying, as yes, some ppl do have probs after natural childbirth, but alot less than after a c/s.

i had a 3rd dg tear with my first, preg again 2mths later......no tears or anything 2nd time round. healing was fine.

glad not just me that is offended then !

No I found it pretty offensive too.

Errm. Had 2nd degree tear after ds. Healed fine. No problems whatsoever. Not sure why that's so hard to believe.
Had slight infection after 1st degree tear with dd, but from talking to friends who had c/sections, several of them had infected wounds too.

I bet seeing those pics REALLY HELPED calm the nerves of the op.

Well done.

Cotedazur,
I have to say that I was not offended by your post, even though I did suffer a second degree tear last time which healed well after stitches.
Personally for me, the more information the better on all the pros and cons to do with childbirth both natural and c/s.
I've learned a lot from MN about both the dreadful things that can happen to the pelvic floor alongside all the risks and complications to do with c/s.
I appreciate that some people may have been upset by the pictures, but I actually found them quite informative.

the pics did not offend me, but the attitude that women were lying about their experiences of birth and tearing did...

think there is nothing wrong with showing women what a tear or cut looks like, but showing it as a way to back up the premise that women are lying when they say they recovered well from it, is a different thing entirely

southernbelle - I gave birth vaginally, with no intervention, tears etc, and I am absolutely identical "down there" to before I had a child. I can still use the smallest size of tampon...

The pictures are not the problem. Giving factual information is not the problem.

Implying that women are lying, simply because their experience does not chime with your own, is the problem.

Anyway. Shall we move on?

I think the point to remember is that everyone heals differently . . . there was a 16-year-old on my ward who had a cs just after me, 2 days later she was bouncing around like nothing had happened while I was still staggering around begging for painkillers!

A tear between the vagina and anus will generally heal a lot quicker than a major op....fact.

I do feel a bit cross about being called a liar actually...

VBAC should not be the exception, sorry to disagree!

NICE guidelines support VBAC being offered routinely, IIRC...the risk of rupture is less than 1 % , again IIRC....so odds are, you won;t rupture..not saying it doesn;t happen, but on the whole , a trial of labour is a good, safe option...when i was going for a VBAC, i asked the consultant how many ruptures he had seen, and he went quiet he was pro VBAC, though, have to say !

also, the lower uterine segment caesarean , with a scar across the uterus rather than vertically in the uterus, is a less likely to rupture too.....

the adage of 'once a caesarean always a caesarean' does not apply very often at all these days

my mum had a vbac 30 years ago so i would have thought they would be offered routinely now

i have had 5 vaginal births,the first 2 were pretty horrendous and i tore with both(only slightly the first time but severley the second),but the first one healed in 4 days and the 2nd,which had to be stitched,caused me no pain atall and the mw said it had healed after a week.

my last 3 deliveries were wonderful experiences,mainly cos they were in a different(much nicer)hospital to the first 2,and because i felt more in control and was able to manage the pain.

as for my pelvic floor,baby no.5 is 7 weeks old now and i havent had any leakage problems sofar

Well I had 3 2nd degree tears and never had a problem healing with any of them. What a stupid comment to make. Me thinks someone has BIG unresolved issues here.

Anyway, why would you WANT to be the same 'down below' after giving birth?
Your body has done an incredible thing in growing and birthing another human being. Why would it be second best to be changed? Of course you will be different. You might even be BETTER than before but you WILL be different and rightly so.

Sincere apologies to anyone who was offended or thought I was calling anyone "liars". That was not at all what I meant but reading my post now I can see why it could be taken that way.

It is just that a lot of women I have talked about births (in real life) tend to downplay the aftermath of their births. Part of it is probably that bad memories fade and are replaced by good ones of our babies. Another part is that we don't want to scare girls who are about to give birth.

I feel a lot of anger towards my friends who have told me "oh the episiotomy was just fine", "just a couple of days of mild discomfort" before the birth, and then, as I was writhing in pain for weeks, came back to say "Oh yes, I suffered terribly, just didn't want you to know then". If I knew how bad a pain it was, just how big a cut it is, I would have taken steps to avoid it. Write a birthplan forbidding an episiotomy, go for a home birth, whatever. [Incidentally, that is why I posted the pictures].

I will shut up now.

But CoteDAzure, the problem is that you CAN'T plan for these things. You can't say if you do thid then this won't happen.
Why would you friend want to scare you half to death about all the post-birth probs she's had when you might not have the same ones and would have been scared about something that didn't happen anyway?

Going into childbirth as a frightened and apprehensive person is really going to reduce the chances of a good birth.

There is no point in looking at all the possible problems, just deal with the ones you are facing when and if you have to face them.

Now would you tell an apprehensive friend wbout to give birth that she could have awful problems post birth if she has this that or the other done?

thanks cotedazur.....guess birth, the aftermath and the whole experience is so personal, it incites strong feelings in all of us!

loopy-- i was asked at every midwife appt if i was going for an elective !!!!!

when i said no, it was ,'oh ok, good for you'..end of discussion ,no pointers as to how to try to make it a better experience

virtually everyone i know who had an em c.s , elected for c.s second time.....although a couple have said they wish they had tried for VBAC....

i think that because after a c,s . your next pregnancy is classified as high risk, and you have to see an obs, you are then in the mindset of being afraid, and if you are pointed towards an elective by health care professionals, you would think that is the safest option

there are obviously circs where an elective, should be carried out, but when a c.s is performed after failed induction , or for placenta previa, or breech , then the next pregnancy and labour, IMHO, should be treated as a normal one !