Why are Mothers-to-be treated like idiots in the Labour Ward???

[Toothache]

This question has been bugging me for a while. I was already in hospital when I my waters broke with DS. I had been in for a few days with high BP and was 39wks when they broke. It was 3am and waddled to the MW station and told them my waters had gone. They said "No they haven't, just go back to bed"!!!! I INSISTED that my waters HAD broke and they made me hand over my sanitory towel so they could check it. NICE! My waters had broken.
A few hours later the backache kicked in, then contractions. I told them I was in labour and they said "No you're not, it could take hours to get into established labour, go eat your breakfast." As I panted my way through another big contraction then waddled back to bed. Half an hour later I tried to phone DH, midwives STILL insisting that I wasn't in labour. I got a huge contraction and nearly fell in the corridor. A Consultant had some firm words with the Midwives and I was given an internal. I was 4-5 cm dilated and whisked off to the labour ward!!

WHY DIDN'T THEY LISTEN TO ME??????????

Another example:
I got a phonecall from a friend yesterday. Her friend was due her 2nd baby 2 wks from now. She went into labour at home and her boyfriend took her to hopsital. They examined her, told her she wasn't in labour, but that she had a UTI and would kept in for the night. She said "Are you sure, I've had a baby before and this feels like labour". They insisted she wasn't in labour and sent her boyfriend away to fetch her some things. They ran her bath to help with the pain of her "UTI" and 30mins later her baby's head was delivered as she was wrenched from thebath in agony! Healthy 8lb girl. Boyfriend missed everything. .

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY don't they listen mothers??????

grumble for the day.... anybody else any experience of this?

Falkirk, where did you deliver? And do you have an option over which unit you choose? I'd recommend Dundee...was never left during a 24 hour labour except for one life/death emergency happening in the next room, but it is too far. Are the Edinburgh hospitals a possibility, as a faiend went to one and had a good experience, even though it ended in a section.

Sorry, Toothache in Falkirk. Lack of sleep last night.

hmb - I delivered ds in Falkirk 3yrs ago, but they have since closed that Maternity Unit and I now have to travel 20miles to Stirling. No choice unfortunately. The girl I described in the beginning who was told she wasn't in labour and had a UTI delivered in Stirling. The treatment seems to have worsened since Falkirk and Stirling 'merged'.... It's very much 'them & us' in the department. Not nice for the patients.

Oh hell, not positive. If is 20 miles to Stirling, then wouldn't it be the same distance to Edinburgh? (sorry Geography not my strong point) And that is quite a hike for you and family etc. I was worried enough by a 10 mile trip to Dundee.

hmb - Unfortunately that is now the closest Maternity unit. Edinburgh is about 30 miles from us. Glasgow is 25 miles.
The scary thing is DH hasn't passed his drving test yet and we don't have a car!! I'm getting a bit edgy about it all now, I've only 6wks until due date and I'm getting 'twinges' already!!!
I've got a list of people who, like it or not, might get a phone call at 3am one morning.

I think though toothache you have to put things into perspective. I had an horrendous time with my daughter but a postive experience with my son, both delivered at the same hospital. I have heard good and bad stories about the hospital I delivered in but I am sure this is true of all hospitals.

I wish you lots of luck and I am glad you are sounding more cheery this morning

Not usually one to defend the midwives, but in my case they didn't listen to me because I WAS SO STUPID! For every one of you who knew what was going on, there are probably hundreds of us dolts who know absolutely nothing. I turned up at the hospital against the advice of the GP I'd just seen, who wanted me to go home and have a nice lie down as she was sure the baby was just engaging. After an hour or so of observing me the midwife asked me where my bag was and I told her the baby was not due for three weeks and I knew they'd just send me home like they do with all those other panicking first timers. She just laughed at me and said "Oh no. You in labour girl!" And I was. 10cm dilated. THEN I decided it was starting to hurt and agreed to some gas. Doh! How thick can you get???

Just remembered - another friend was in the antenatal ward with high blood pressure for a couple of weeks towards the end of her pregnancy, and actually asked the nurse for some panadol as she had some mild abdominal discomfort and must have eaten something a bit wrong. ??????

JaninLondon - why on earth were you stupid???? Why were you stupid in believing your GP who thought you weren't in labour? Don't put yourself down like that! Cases like yours are exactly the reason why I think people should err on the side of caution when in labour, even if they do end up being sent home for being 1/2 cm dilated.

jan, i agree with mummytosteven, that's the trouble gps and midwives don't always get it right and of course you're going to listen to them if it's your first time - to begin with at least.

You are both v kind but I am absolutely adamant - I was a thick as I could possibly be. Strange period like pains three minutes apart, 37 weeks pregnant in a family where everyone has their babies at least two weeks early, and I thought it might be the head engaging!!???? You can't get much dumber. Luckily we laugh about it now. Have to really. I don't think I gained any smarts in the birthing/child rearing process, so my IQ can only have declined exponentially!

toothache - email me through contact another talker. I have a car and so might be able to help you out here - dh can be holding your hand if I drive!. Would love to be able to support you - I would want do two antenatal visits (preferably when your dh is there too)and could be there for you as soon as I can when you think you are in labour. If you email me I can tell you about my training and we can organise a meeting. Doulas are all about supporting women in their choices and helping them to make informed decisions, hopefully this will help you to feel stronger on that labour ward!!

Lots of love
midden

xxxxxx

Midden - I just want to say that your offer to Toothache really is very inspiring. She has abviously had a bad experience of labour and I am sure having you there will be an enormous boost to her.

You really are a very kind lady and I am sure you are a fantasic Doula

thanks soapbox

I certainly will Midden.... honestly I'm moved to tears by your offer. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Toothache, I haven't read all this thead but what about having your baby in Perth, is that an option? My dd's were born there and it's a lovely unit.

janinlondon - You call yourself thick!, I was as sick as a pig every morning until about lunchtime for months before the penny dropped I must be pregnant and DH and I had been trying as well, I just didn't put 2 and 2 together. When I eventually had a dating scan I was 13 weeks. As for the birth, I ended up with an 'elective' CS due to my medical history. I'm sure I'd have been just as unaware of everything had I had a natural birth.

Angeliz, no, I wasn't replying to your post ? and happy to hear you had a good experience. It does happen, I posted further down about the support my sister had during her marathon labour. I just feel qute strongly that no-one should be treated with anything less than respect and offered the care that is needed for their delivery; and that doesn't always happen.

Furball,

at least you read the pregnancy test kit correctly I glanced at it, assumed I wasn't pregggers and chucked it in the bin (mightily relieved). It was only when my sister called a few hours later and asked me to describe exactly what I saw that she put me right!

I feel really sad reading this thread. My 3 children have all been born by emergency section, and I have had one truly apalling experience and 2 excellent ones. The first was a failed anaesthetic, which when you are about to have a caesarean is truly terrifying. The anaesthetist told me I was clearly hysterical, until prods of tummy with eyes closed suggested otherwise.

The 2 next caesareans were brilliant. I felt supported, listened to etc etc.

At the end of the day, there are too many poor experiences for this to be acceptable and I would urge everyone, whether their experience has been good or bad to write to the hospital and outline their experience. Congratulations in order if it has been positive and concerns raised if negative. It is difficult to do this - particularly after a bad experience, but I do think we have to hold people accountable when care has failed or has not met expectations. In some cases there will be a reasonable explanation - in others, hopefully, midwives and consultants will listen to experiences and improve services. Otherwise, we all know that experiences like those described here will continue and in 2004 I personally don't find that acceptable. I certainly accept that mistakes happen, but when they do they should be the exception and there should be some communication to understand what went wrong.

What does everyone else think?

don't know why i put emergency section - I meant elective section!!!

sorry, cant do links but thought this may (hopefully) make some of you, hopefully all of you, laugh!
***

Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital or spent time in a hospital will enjoy this...but any nurses out there, please don't be offended

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse. "The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment, let me look at her records... Mrs. Finkel is doing very well.
In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she's to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement , Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me sh*t!"

Don't waste time worrying or stressing out.... life is too short.
Make it your goal to try something new at least once a week, you will never
cover everything but you life will be fuller and far more exciting. Take
care with the nude hang-gliding though !!!

Pupuce, I know that for most women an elective probably wouldn't be what they wanted...but...for women who do want pain relief and to be treated with respect and are frightened of being vulnerable and in pain around people who are capable of being rude or aggressive or just not that bothered, it can seem an extremely attractive prospect - as Highlander says too. Not everyone wants a natural, unmedicated birth but they might be reassured if they genuinely believed that effective pain relief and respect were part of the childbirth package. As neither seem to be at all guaranteed (I've never heard of anyone who had a prompt epidural, for example, esp at night) there will be a growing number of women who want sections and who have bad experiences of birth. I think the thought of a bad hospital birth pushes people one of two ways - either towards a home birth or an elective - very different outcomes but often for a similar reason.

Suedonim - Unfortunately I'm panicking about how to get to Stirling Royal Inf. 18-20miles away, Perth is about 45-50 miles from me so is definitely out.

Gettingthere - That's a fantastic idea, and if the majority of women did put in writing their concerns/praise for the Maternity Unit and staff then perhaps they would have an opportunity to improve. I certainly will this time whether it's a positive or negative experience.

My midwives were wonderful too and when they said are you sure your in labour I said well if not I'm dying so if you think you are sending me home you are wrong lady!!

One of my friends sisters was in labour for 3 days and the baby was transverse (student midwife missed this) and rather than demand that they do something after so many hours she waited until they realised there was a problem - I would have been screaming the place down and making such a nuisance of myself thattheywould have had to help me out - she ended up having an emergency c section!!