Why are Mothers-to-be treated like idiots in the Labour Ward???

[Toothache]

This question has been bugging me for a while. I was already in hospital when I my waters broke with DS. I had been in for a few days with high BP and was 39wks when they broke. It was 3am and waddled to the MW station and told them my waters had gone. They said "No they haven't, just go back to bed"!!!! I INSISTED that my waters HAD broke and they made me hand over my sanitory towel so they could check it. NICE! My waters had broken.
A few hours later the backache kicked in, then contractions. I told them I was in labour and they said "No you're not, it could take hours to get into established labour, go eat your breakfast." As I panted my way through another big contraction then waddled back to bed. Half an hour later I tried to phone DH, midwives STILL insisting that I wasn't in labour. I got a huge contraction and nearly fell in the corridor. A Consultant had some firm words with the Midwives and I was given an internal. I was 4-5 cm dilated and whisked off to the labour ward!!

WHY DIDN'T THEY LISTEN TO ME??????????

Another example:
I got a phonecall from a friend yesterday. Her friend was due her 2nd baby 2 wks from now. She went into labour at home and her boyfriend took her to hopsital. They examined her, told her she wasn't in labour, but that she had a UTI and would kept in for the night. She said "Are you sure, I've had a baby before and this feels like labour". They insisted she wasn't in labour and sent her boyfriend away to fetch her some things. They ran her bath to help with the pain of her "UTI" and 30mins later her baby's head was delivered as she was wrenched from thebath in agony! Healthy 8lb girl. Boyfriend missed everything. .

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY don't they listen mothers??????

grumble for the day.... anybody else any experience of this?

As a matter of interest - does anybody ever pay any attention to birth plans - I forgot to bring my with in the heat of the moment, and no-one ever asked me about it!

I know I shouldnt laugh but its ridiculous that they treat us like this.Its just amazing how many of us this happens to. I was in ESTSABELISHED labour since 12am and stuffed into room to be induced later !!!that evening I tried to remind them that I was already 3 cm dialated at lunchtime that day but they wouldnt believe on this ward even thoguh another midwife had confirmed it on another ward!!!!!! I kept on saying that the waters had been leaking , they also didnt beleive me,I asked for my tens to be put on and they wouldnt do it & they told me to take paracetemol and go back to bed, I was like are you having a laugh!!! as I was having contractions every 3 mins !!! I then flooded the floor at nearly 2pm that morning fell on the floor buzzed the midwives from the floor & I phoned my dh to just come in even though I was told he couldnt be there and again had to remind them I had been in estabellished labour now for 12 hours !!!! they said Oh we didnt realise we didnt see your notes FFS . I then screamed at one of them for telling my dh off for being there & me for MAKING TO MUCH NOISE & DISTURBING OTHER PATIENTS and said in a very firm and dont mess with me voice " YOU ARE GOING TO PUT MY TENS MACHINE ON NOW & THEN GET ME A BED IN LABOUR WARD COS IM HAVING MY BLOODY EPIDURAL NOW !!! & DONT YOU DARE TELL MY HUSBAND NOT TO BE HERE, BECAUSE YOUR ALL SO UNORGANISED I SHOULD BE WITH MY FAMILY RIGHT NOW NOT DOOING THIS ALL ALONE AND FRIGHTETENED. I didnt hear another peep out of her and I was wisked away pronto.

oooppps sorry about that rant , its still very upsetting to this day.

Dino - I put that in my notes last time, but this time I've left that out. Didn't do me any good with ds! I'd rather not have an epidural...... besides, this time my labour will be 2 hours long... painless and stitch-free.

I also wonder if there is a link between this kind of contemptuous treatment and the later development of PND? It would make an interesting study, I think.

This is why I decided to have a home birth. No-one to tell you what to do, you don't have to go ward flitting and the midwives are guests in YOUR house.

After visiting sil in our local hospital I decided very quickly I was NOT going there.

My last labour was 3 hours start to finish. Just niggles to start with then very intense towards the end. No-one got chance to examine me or even listen in to the baby I was so quick!

it was this kind of treatment last time which made me decide to go with independent midwives this time round.

My story is similar to sis's. Waters went first. 8 hours later contractions beganand not as slowly as they were "supposed" to go for a first time mum. They had the monitor on me to check contraction frequency, and, though I was getting contractions every 3 minutes, for some reasons the monitor didn't "register" every third contraction. I'd be doubled over in pain and the midwives insisted that I wasn't really having that third contraction, or if I was, it was niggly unimportant one. Since I'd recently moved to London from the US, I was highly sensitive about being perceived as a loud obnoxious American, so I overcompensated by being quiet, overly polite and deferential. Eventually, though, I couldn't take it anymore and asked for pain relief. The midwife looked at me disapprovingly, tutted and said, "Now I'll have to check your cervix which means we have to take you to the labour wardand really it's much too early."

I loved the look on her face when she discovered I was 5cm dilated.

I was told later that the loudest people get listened to--so if I'd just been more forceful I might have had a better chance of being heard.

But I have to say that it's not just midwivesit's almost everyone in the medical profession. I'm always treated like an idiotand really, I promise, I'm not.

Aloha I think there could be a very good connection , I felt it could be strong reason for mine , feeling such loss of control and it being a very traumatic horrible experience only fuelled by the bad treatment I got. It didnt stop there m but also in the delivery room , but thats a digression of the subject. But yes an investigation would be very interesting.

Well it's not nearly as interesting as the stories here - but I got EXCELLENT care from my midwives, and I was in labour so long I went through quite a few! Without exception they were calm, patient and listened to me. One particularly stands out, as when I was begging for an epidural she noticed that my birth plan said I'd like to avoid this if possible and so suggested other options first. Although I ended up with an epidural in the end anyway, I'm really pleased we tried some alternatives first because I came away with a very positive experience of labour even though it was almost 3 days long, posterior presentation etc etc etc.

Just goes to show what a huge impact the quality of care has on a woman's experience of labour. I feel very lucky.

Interesting Aloha - Well I had that experience and I developed PND, so if you do decide to do an article then I'm here for questioning.

I'd love a homebirth, but the reaction I got from the midwives when I mentioned it was awful. Plus I've had a few problems which make me think I'm better off in hospital.

Independant Midife would be great, but we can't even afford a Doula for a few hours a week after the baby is born. So that's out!

My birth plan was followed I suppose. I was given a shot of diamorphine the mintue I got onto the labour ward, like I put in my notes. DH cut the cord.

I'm with you on this one Pidge,

I went into labour on the Thursday, popped in to the hospital on the Friday night to be checked out and they called in the MW who eventually delivered DS. She was lovely and as I was only 2cm she gave me the option of going home or staying in. Decided to go home and she insisted on giving me sleeping tablets as I hadn't slept for 36 hrs. (managed 2 hours sleep whilst still wearing the TENS) Came back the next morning straight into the delivery room, but didn't deliver until the Sunday morning.

Had a different MW to start with but then Cathy took over and even stayed past the end of her shift. She respected my decision not to have a c-section and let me push for over 4 hours. DS was a normal birth in the end.

All of the MW I saw (6 in the team and I saw 5 of them) were incredible and I hope to have the same team if I decide to have another baby.

BR

i went to a & e at about 1 am i was 9 months pg i was suffering with head aches and very swolen feet and legs the male nurse at a&e said to me go home luv your just pregnant your not ill there was no need to come to a & e your just wasting time , so i burst out crying and told my dp too beat him up wich he didnt so we walked round to the labour ward (witch we tryed first but couldnt get in) and a midwife saw me straight away and took my blood presure witch was very high and got a doctor to examine me and he said i was showing signs of pre eclampisa and that the nurse at a & e should of taken my blood preasure straigt away then sent me to labour ward but he dint i was induced that morning so i was right, i was sooo angry with that male nurse i wanted to kill him the tw*t

Bunnyrabbit -I was in a similar position to you - turned up at hospital 1 a.m. and 2 cm dilated. Was then thrown out at 4 a.m. as I was still only 2cm dilated, although I was told that the baby would definitely come that day.

Noone showed any interest in how little sleep I had which wouldn't have been so bad had I not had 20 minutes sleep the next night after the birth .

Although I think the care I received by the labour ward midwives was pretty good, I still think there are aspects of the system that need improving

I think with a few honourable exceptions, medical people never listen to women, whatever the situation. They are just steeped in a culture of total contempt for their patients in general, for women in particular, and for women in gynaecological situations the most! It's like that sketch in the fast show where a woman comes along and ventures an opinion, and all the men in the room are selectively deaf and she wonders if she's actually invisible. I had a doctor tell me I had a kidney infection when I was having a miscarriage - and when I told him I thought it was more likely to be a miscarriage, he pooh-poohed the idea! Gave me anti-biotics to get rid of the infection as well! (They didn't work )

This thread isn't filling me with much confidence ladies

OMG isnt it terrible that so many people have such bad experiences? When I had ds I was really thirsty afterwards (probably the gas and air) and I asked for a drink. 4 and half hours later and repeated asking a glass of water turned up!
I was also told that I wasnt in labour and told to have a hot bath! I was ofcourse in labour - you would think that they would know the difference!

are you going to the l and d to have your baby springchicken

Certainly am Nikcola - not really an experience i am looking forward too

Definitely going to try and sit the first stages out at home for as long as poss - just worry that i will have comprehnsion of how far along i am having never done it before.

Meanbean--I'm with you there. I come from a family of doctors and I've seen the contempt for patients. My brother recently had the nerve to declare that most patients are just stupid. (Funnily enough, I'm smarter than he is and I'm not a doctor.)

And my father loves to remind everyone that there was a time when everyone bowed down to doctors and gave them the respect they DESERVE [fists pounding table]. I agree with him that doctors are hard workers and extremely valuable people--but the contemptuousnes towards patients is damaging & counterproductive.

sorry, that should've said "just worry that i will not have any comprehension of how far along i am having never done it before."