IS NATALIE JANE IN LABOUR - PART TWO !!

[lulumama]

no ....still not! LOL!

Well it is like I said, it would only be for my peace of mind, all the bloods and everything were clear, and they have put it down to just being pregnant basically, they can't do anything, and I am seeing her tomorrow anyway. I've no headache or blurred vision or anything, I think it is just a case of live with it really!

LG&T, I have just managed to read your post, what a tosser?

The way I see it you have two choices, either screw him for all he has, which as he says wouldn't be very much if he goes through with going on his own, and it would have an effect on the kids, or you take his offer.

It all depends really on the kids relationship with him, it sounds as though they are seeing him often and everything, is that what you want? Is he worth having in their livs if he won't do the right thing by them money wise? Or is he a better dad than what moeny he is offering? Would they miss him if he wan't in their lives as much?

If you agree to the £300, is he likely to keep paying it, or will he stop after a couple of months for one reason or another? In which case maybe the CSA is the answer because they can take it straight from his earnings so even if it would be a lesser amount, at least you would know it was coming in every month.

Is the £300 he is offering enough for you? If he is trustworthy enough to pay every month, is there anyway you could get him to agree to a higher amount?

As for pressing chargres against you for taking the things from your house, let him try, the police would laugh in his face!

I have just been speaking to my sister on the phone, and I was saying about how scared I am of the home birth still and that I am now almost hoping I will be induced so I can have an epidural and everything, and she reckons I am doing a very good job of not letting myself go into labour so I can have the epidural and hospital birth that I do really want. What do you think? Can you talk yourself out of labour, for any reason?

Why are you scared of the homebirth honey?

Well not really the giving birth at home, but the no real pain relief thing scares the shit out of me TBH!! I know people do it every day and no one has ever died from the pain, etc. etc. but I just don't want to do it. And I do know as well that even with the plan of a hospital birth and an epidural it is still going to hurt and it doesn't always go to plan and everything else, but at least the plan would be in place!

Call me a wuss and anything else, but I have done the whole natural(-ish) thing before and I just don't feel like I need to do it again to prove anything.

One of my clients had a pain relief free birth on Friday. It was glorious. If you want someone to chat it through then you can email me on lovelymarslady at aol dot com and I'll give you my number and you can call.

You will do better than you think honey. Just remember these three things:

It will hurt
It will be hard work
You CAN do it!

also... it's not about proving anything. But I understand your fear babe.

I am OK about it, thanks though, I know I am scared and I know it is going to happen, and I know it won't last forever, and that obviously the reward will be fantastic, just that for my ideal scenario, I would be tucked up in hospital!

Do you think you can talk yourself out of going into labour? Is the subconcious really that strong?

NJ,

I have been there and am there again. I think about the birth even though I still have 25 weeks left.

I think it's the fear of every pregnant woman, because we don't know how we're going to feel at the moment of labor.

Maybe you should arrange to go to hospital (when time comes) that way if you are talking yourself out of going into labour you can stop it.

Does that many any sense. Poor you NJ!! Not too long now though

Yes, I am sure every pregnant woman is scared of the labour, no matter what her plans are, forgoodness sake a baby is going to be going to come out of her body, it is going to bloody hurt, who wouldn't be scared?!!!

But, is that fear enough to stop you going into labour?

I can't go to the hospital at a drop of a hat, we have no one to look after DS, well we do, but she won't help - that is a whole different story!!

If we knew that DS was with someone he is happy to be with, then I would be at the hospital quicker than you could say epidural!!

I think it might be enough to stop you from going into labor, just because of the tension it creates. One of my books was saying that many women go into labor at night, simply because they are calmer and more relaxed. So why wouldn't it work in the opposite in that if people were nervous or tense it would prolong labor.

Hmm I think I remember you saying about the problems you will have when it is time, ie no childcare for ds.

What a nightmare for you, methinks though, with all these contractions you have been having, baby must be nearly ready to come out so hopefully it with be short/fast and quick labour/delivery.

I agree with MKG btw forgot that bit

It is really interesting (or am I mad for finding it interesting?!!) but you do also hear these stories like the other day someone on one the labour threads said she was overdue, she had another child in hospital, all the while praying she wouldn't go into labour, got the poorly child home through the door, 3 hours later her waters went, surely that isn't just a coincidence?

Have heard others like DH's being away with the army or something, woman goes well overdue and goes into labour within hours of the DH being home.

There must be something in these stories? Something that does stop, or as you say even bring on, labour depending on the state of mind, no?

This is it though Mellowma, I do know it will be OK if it happens at home, I know I will get through it and everything else, but it doesn't mean I want it that way, does that make sense?

Yes I think that you can talk yourself out of labour (for a while anyway). When you labour you need to allow yourself and your body to open up. When you don't want to labour you close yourself (so to speak). That's why people talk about things like progressing nicely at home and then moving to hospital and things stalling. It's the changing of environment that does it.

When we give birth what we crave is privacy and security. When we don't have it our labour (and therefore birth experience) can be harder.

Hi nataliejane, haven't contributed to your thread before but wanted to comment on a couple of points you have made if you don't mind. Firstly it is definately possible that your fear/reservations and inability to let go are preventing you from going into labour naturally. You need to relax and unwind (difficult I know) and just try and find a sense of calm about it all. Secondly if you really are that worried about having a homebirth then why are you doing it? It is completely natural to have reservations but you need to feel confident in the delivery you have chosen and it seems to me that a homebirth frightens you which isn't condusive to a natural labour. You need to have faith in yourself and your body and if you want to chnage your mind about the type of birth you want then don't feel you have to go along with it. Wishing you lots of love and strength and positive vibes for your upcoming birth x

BTW it is possible to have a positive outcome from a hospital birth, they are not all highly managed. Please do whatever you feel is best and don't be afraid to change your mind if it is what you want x

Yes Snowman, that list is pretty much on track, but, none of it changes the fact that if I did have a choice, i.e. we had someone to look after DS, I woul dhave a hospital birth, I'm not saying I would walk in and demand an epidural straight away, if I thought once I was there that I can carry on with out it then I wouldn't have it, but I would have the choice.

The intervention doesn't really bother me that much, I'm not knocking it, but I'm not one for all calm and serene and I have no pre-imposed ideas of that I have to walk around the whole time because it says I should in my book, if I want to walk around, then I won't be having the epidural for a while, but again that would then be my choice. I spent my whole labour last time on my side and back and I had no problems from doing that.

I can get a prescription from my GP if I wanted to use pethidine but I didn't like it at all last time, and I didn't think it did anything to ease the pain at all, so I haven't bothered with it.

QuadropheniaonIce, I would love to be able to change my mind, but because of childcare, I can't.

Maybe it is that that is bothering me more than anything else, the fact that I can't do it the way I want to, I am a stubburn bugger at times!!!