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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Reassurance for everone worried about childbirth

108 replies

Inchacha · 20/10/2006 14:41

Seeing lots of messages about being scared of the bit where you divide into two people

Just thought I would add a small bit of hopefully reassuring experience- yes it blimmin well hurt, yes it was a bit scary but it was the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life. Not because of the reward of my lovely little boy (who is now 22 months old and a huge joy) but because afterwards I had this feeling of "wow! That was really really hard but I coped with it!"

The thing I was designed for actually happened and it all worked.

SO if you're about to have your first (second third fourth umpteenth) baby and are worried, (I won't tell you not to be worried cos that's another thing women are designed to do I think)remember that you CAN do it.

And I can't wait to do it again, I am actually looking forward to childbirth! One small problem, I am not pregnant- will have to persuade dh that we should have another baby...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iklboo · 20/10/2006 14:43

And there's always the "Look, I went through childbirth" when DH moans his stubbed his toe or whatever

bluejelly · 20/10/2006 14:47

And you will never be quite so scared of the dentist again...

LadyOfTheFlowers · 20/10/2006 14:51

I'm still scared of the dentist blue!
Would rather give birth.
So there, childbirth cant be that bad. Plus you are getting the most wonderful thing at the end, the most wonderful thing you will ever have (for want of better words) so it all worth it.

ive done it twice and im a total wimp- pass out at bloodtests!

blob2be · 20/10/2006 16:27

It's so nice and so refreshing to hear stories like this. I'm due to give birth any day now and I can't move for people telling me how horrendous it's going to be. In a strange way I'm looking forward to it! A friend of mine gave birth last week. It was her first (as it is mine) and everyone has been telling us that there is no way that a first-timer can do it without pain relief. Well....she did! And I hope to, too. But even if I don't manage it, I am still expecting the experience to be positive and empowering. You've at least got to go into it with a positive mindset!

LucyJones · 20/10/2006 16:28

Oh yes, it's really not that bad. Goodness knows why I still hate going for a smear though

Iklboo · 20/10/2006 16:29

Well...it's not the most fun I've ever had, I'll admit. I ended up having an epidural (not by absoulte choice) and slept through most of the rest of my labour
But SO worth it cos now I've got my little bloke

lulumama · 20/10/2006 16:31

yay! great idea inchacha!

i loved giving birth to DD- exp after a eergency c.s with DS....

yes it hurt...but my god, it was worth every second.... i was so proud of myself...and felt so empowered and revitalised ! and the adrenalin rush - i didn't sleep for 2 days after her birth!

my body did what it was supposed to ...wow!

i remember so clearly the wonderful feeling of joy , bewilderment & astonishment as the beautiful, pure human being emerged from my body and i had grown her and birthed her all by myself... i would do it again tomorrow and would want it to last twice as long!!

shhhh · 20/10/2006 16:58

good post . BTW I saw a consultant about having a mole/skin tag after dd was born (dd about 5 months). The consultant laughed when I asked him if it hurt..! He looked at my mum and said, "she's scared of a injection to numb it yet she's given birth".." LOL..! Yup and I;m still petrified of hospitals, dentists..anything/anyone that will cause me pain. YET at 25 weeks pregnant I'm putting myself through it AGAIN..!!!!!!!!!!!!

EliBoo · 20/10/2006 17:05

Great thread!

I have no idea whether I'll get to try a VBAC (I'd like to) or have to have a repeat section this time, but its good to read about women feeling great about their birth experiences.

And FWIW, I felt good about mine last time - even though I was induced due to high bp, failed to dilate at all due to dd disengaging at first sign of a contraction (and going oblique), and ended up with a c-section.

The OB was a PITA, but the point is...I stood up for myself and felt in control of timing, had wonderful support from the midwives, and ended up with a calm and magical moment in theatre meeting my long awaited dd...

It was an ok birth at the least, an excellent one at the best. Just not the one I'd expected.

So, ladies, whatever happens, it can be good!

marjean · 20/10/2006 21:34

I can only second Inchacha - what a wonderfully empowering experience birth can be. I was lucky enough to have had a great first birth and was also sick of other's pleasure at telling me how awful it was going to be. Despite the stretchmarks (fading slightly now), the saggier tummy, heavier boobs etc. I can't help but look at my body and just marvel at it and my newfound confidence in it - it actually worked!

lulumama · 20/10/2006 21:42

just thinking

start a thread about bad / disappointing/ traumatic birth..you'll get 50 posts... start one about fab birth...you are lucky to get a dozen!!

Shall we shamelessly bump and get lots more good stories ??

kittythescarygoblin · 20/10/2006 21:47

I don't think I have ever looked forward to childbirth, but the feeling of empowerment I get each time is simply mindblowing. Can't be THAT bad 'cos now I'm on my 6th

tutu100 · 20/10/2006 21:47

i think whatever type of birth you have it's a great one. Mine completely deviated from my birth plan. I thought I'd have no pain relief but ended up having everything! I managed 20 hours of established labour before the epidural though! Before i gave birth my proudest achievement was getting my degree. Now my proudest achievement is giving birth. Quite often I forget I have a degree, I never forget I have my son. I think all women that give birth are amazing. I just think that striving for the perfect birth puts you under pressure. Go with the flow and love it!

funnypeculiar · 20/10/2006 21:51

After 2 relatively easy births (although one was 4 weeks early, and the other had early bleeding) I tell everyone it's not as bad as it looks on Holby ... 2nd one I can actually say I 'enjoyed'. Wierd but true...

mummyplonk · 20/10/2006 21:56

Lets be shameless! bumpittybumpbumpbump! Had two babies and loved the birth experience of both, had birthing pool and Gas and air with first (and then kindly a drip to speed it up!) and a tens machine with the second. The power of the mind is amazing, and if you can prepare yourself if you breathe in very heavily and have ever experienced cramp then you will have an inckling of what it feels like at is is "coming on". All you ever hear is horror stories when you are pregnant, I would do it again tommorrow, and the second the baby comes out, the pain is gone and you feel like you have won an olympic medal!, all of the midwives say that the point when you say "I cant do it anymore" means the baby is nearly there so hang in there! x

lulumama · 20/10/2006 22:47

bump!

for the p*ssed evening crowd

only positive and inspiring birth stories here please!
TIA!!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 22:51

I looked forward and did truely enjoy the Birth of ds #2...I considered ds#1 as a positive experience and could have done it all again there and then, so, when ms was finally conceived and due to arrive I could not wait...even though I had gotten a kick in the teeth and wasn't !allowed! grrrrr....my Homebirth, but labour was fab, long, mind, but mild and just sooooe easy, then when dh arrived (he was in Ni at the time, I was in Gloucester Rpoyal...so, he had a way to come, until then I had a df with me) things went quick, stupidly they still felt the need to break my waters, but anyhow, ds was then pushed out ratehr quickly, ring of fire was painful and so were the contractions, but other then that all was jsut so brill, and I was on such a high that I continoued having ds#3.....Birthwise now, he was a mistake, lol...but can't blame him for that now!

misdee · 20/10/2006 22:53

i coughed and dd3 popped out.

Monkeychopsmummy · 20/10/2006 23:03

Great thread Inchacha! It is so good to hear positive childbirth stories for a change . I found birth a wonderful empowering experience - I felt so proud of myself when my beautiful boy was put in my arms. Labour is hard work and it is painful but your body is designed to do it!

I used to get really annoyed with people who told me negative stories about birth when I was obviously pregnant! Some women do seem to enjoy frightening other women .

yellowrose · 20/10/2006 23:37

Two years and 4 months on, I don't really remember much, although I still tease my DH for eating his fish and chips (offered by the midwife at the birth centre) right in front of me while I was in pain in water !

I tried to have a water birth, but DS is obviously a "land lubber" and will never join the navy (I hope !) as he was born on dry land within 50 minutes of me coming out of the birthing pool (8 hours in water).

I remember him being picked up by my lovely lovely midwife (I love the woman for being so professional and kind) and putting him on my breasts and thinking how unbelievably beautiful he was. He is even more beautiful now. The absolute joy of my life !

Aaaahhhhh - happy memories

lulumama · 21/10/2006 10:27

bump

for more of your POSITIVE birth stories please....

sarahalloween · 21/10/2006 10:32

I too found the birth of DS2 an amazing experience. I think it was mainly to do with the fantastic midwife I had who really made me feel that I could do it. I'd been really nervous about the whole thing as with DS1 it had been a bit too spacey ( pethadine and gas and air just did not agree with me) and i didn't feel in control at all.
I remember going to have a shower just after DS2 had been born and I was just beaming to myself thinking " I did it, I really did that and it feels great"

Blu · 21/10/2006 10:37

DS's birth was far from 'textbook natural' but I also found it empowering, and was never in serious pain. In many ways I enjoyed being in labour. And even when it got a bit complicated (ventouse) it wasn't like anything i had feared.

hollyhobbie · 21/10/2006 11:04

A great thread, and a special 'hi!' to blob2be - it can be done that you have your 1st birth without pain relief... I did it.
I had a homebirth here in Germany, and here the midwives can't give any pain relief, not even gas and air. I won't say it didn't hurt, but I only started saying, "I can't do this" about 10mins from the end. To be honest knowing that there was NO pain relief available just meant that I never even thought about it - lots of breathing and DH rubbing my back.
I'm about to go for my second homebirth here and I am looking forward to it... it may be very hard work, but it is going to be one of the most intense, important days of your life!

belgo · 21/10/2006 11:13

I agree with you Hollyhobbie - I'm in Belgium - and knowing that the choice was epidural or nothing meant that I was geared up not to expect pain relief, and to rely on my own resources and my dh's back rub. And it worked, and I'm usually such a wimp when it comes to pain.

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