I am going to put my two pennorth in as well. I agree that there are lots of negative and scary birth stories around too - we all love a bit of drama don't we and sometimes the gorier and more dramatic the better. But that can make it very hard for people who have had more positive experiences to speak up which is really a bit sad in a way isn't it?
I have had two great births, both very different, each with their own challenges, the first was a fairly long labour with a posterior baby ("back" labour, 21 hours from the start of regular contractions to the actual birth, three and half hours of pushing, second degree tear, I was knackered, but my god the sense of pride and achievement I felt afterwards! Second birth at home, much quicker this time, baby born in the water, also "back" labour and this one came out "sunny side up" and with the cord wrapped twice round her neck, but all was fine, and it was lovely being at home.
The one thing that everyone seems to worry about is the pain. Did it hurt? I would say yes - but not in a bad way, and I found that relaxing into each contraction rather than fighting them really helped. I also found that surrounding myself with supportive people and making the environment as pleasant as possible really helped too, yes it may be cliched but things like soft lighting and nice music helped to relax me and take my mind off the pain. Gotta love those endorphins!
I also had two lovely wonderful doulas at both my births who are now among my best friends and for me they did make a huge difference - somehow they just knew where to rub, when to speak and when to say nothing, when to bring me a drink, wipe my face, make me laugh - while DH was great and I loved having him there I would say that the touch of a woman makes all the difference.
I have also supported lots of women through birth as a doula myself. Some other suggestions which I would make which I have seen really help - especially with a first labour don't underestimate the amount of time it can take to get into "active" labour i.e don't "rush" the labour along but just take one contraction at a time, distract yourself for as long as you can and don't be tempted to go to hospital to early (yes - you will know when it's the right time!)
Look at as many different options for pain relief as possible, things like the shower (a hot shower feels fantastic), using the bath tub, having someone press on your sacrum during a contraction (great for back pain), eating and drinking and making sure you rest as much as possible when you can. Do your research - epidurals can be great especially for long labours but they do bring some risks, it's important to understand these so you know what you are letting yourself in for. It's all about trade offs - no method of pain relief is "perfect" or will work the same for everyone.
It's also important to have your caregivers on your side - so doing a birth plan and talking your plans through with them can really help. If you don't like what you are hearing, change.
I have had some clients say that this all seems like a lot of work and they would rather leave it up to the experts. I agree it's a lot of work but think about this - how much effort do we put into organising and planning our weddings, or our holidays? If we leave our births to chance, if we don't know what we want and don't make plans to achieve it, then it's unlikely we'll get what we want.
The final final thing I would say that while planning and research are great it's also really important to be flexible and to plan for the unexpected - working as a doula myself I have seen time and time again that the clients that are fixated on their "perfect" birth and have very fixed ideas of what their labour and birth will be like are often the ones who are disappointed. The couples who are able to go with the flow and adapt to changing circumstances are the ones who are usually happiest with the outcome, no matter what that is - epidurals or not, cesareans, or whatever - so long as they felt they knew what was happening and that they were in control of decision making they are usually happy with whatever the final outcome.
If you are pregnant now and planning your birth then all the best to you, whatever happens - enjoy it, and make it yours.