Reassurance for everone worried about childbirth

[Inchacha]

Seeing lots of messages about being scared of the bit where you divide into two people

Just thought I would add a small bit of hopefully reassuring experience- yes it blimmin well hurt, yes it was a bit scary but it was the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life. Not because of the reward of my lovely little boy (who is now 22 months old and a huge joy) but because afterwards I had this feeling of "wow! That was really really hard but I coped with it!"

The thing I was designed for actually happened and it all worked.

SO if you're about to have your first (second third fourth umpteenth) baby and are worried, (I won't tell you not to be worried cos that's another thing women are designed to do I think)remember that you CAN do it.

And I can't wait to do it again, I am actually looking forward to childbirth! One small problem, I am not pregnant- will have to persuade dh that we should have another baby...

What a great thread! I had a great birth experience too! I was very proud to be a woman the day I gave birth, what an amazing gift we have been given. I think the only reason woman tell you of their horrible birth stories is because they are amazed and proud that they got through it!!
It is very strange looking back ds is only 7 months but although I only had gas and air I can remember very little about my labour and I certainly don't remember any pain (nature is an amazing thing), but I can remember every moment since the mw placed ds in my arms!!
Blob2b - you will have awonderful experience I am sure, when I got near the end I had the same mindset ... bring it on!! worked for me

Nature has an amazing way of helping you forget the pain. It must be something to do with those endorphins!

Well done Hollyhobbie for getting a homebirth in Germany. I had a vbac here in Frankfurt 2.5 years ago, despite being strongly "advised" to have another cs. I think about it everyday - it was a textbook delivery really. It really hurt and I had a bit of a tear, but it was utterly exhilerating and I felt like superwoman afterwards. And I have found with both my labours, there is lots to laugh about afterwards

i think it's important if you are pregnant NOT to listen to people giving you their scary birth stories as it will only add to any trepidation you are feeling, making you more tense about it which will make it more difficult for you to relax when in labour, and you need to relax as much as possible - in my experience it makes all the difference. i had DS1 5 weeks ago - i did a hypnobirthing course, which i would highly recommend. i convinced myself that i was capapble of having an easy and relatively pain free birth... when it came to the actual event pain free is certainly not how i would describe it, but my labour was short (waters broke 5.30, went to hospital 9am, he was born 11am)... while the contractions were very painful it's worth remembering that they only last about a minute, so when you feel another one coming you just concentrate on getting through the next minute, knowing you will have a little rest after. i found that making very loud and embarrassing mooing noises got me through the pain as i put all my energy into that (until i had to push, then i had to direct the energy down). the bit i thought would be really painful when when he was actually in the birth canal and crowning - and it wasn't! i remember lying there thinking, wow, this really doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable - then out he popped. and immediately the pain is gone - it's amazing.

i planned no pain relief, but when i arrived at the hospital i was asking for an epidural as i didn't think i would cope. but the midwife did a quick check and told me i was 9cm dilated already, and i felt so proud that i had got so far without any pain relief, it really gave me confidence. having said that, i still wanted the epidural, but midwife said no to all pain relief as she said he'd be there within the hour... and he pretty much was.

i am SO proud that i did it naturally (and luckily no tears or anything) and it has made me feel like i can do anything (though i'm in no rush to repeat the experience!).

it's important to remember that we are MADE to give birth, it is as natural to our bodies as being able to grow the baby in the first place! yes it's painful, but you are made to withstand it, and if you can't manage it there's no shame in having drugs to help you cope.

all in all it's an amazing experience and one that i feel lucky to have been able to do. it does make you feel terribly clever afterwards, and your partner will regard you with awe for weeks!

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bump for the afternoon crowd!!

this is a lovely thread.....am getting a little...teeny bit broody though! so might have to stop bumping soon!

I actually would have liked to have been told more birth stories first time, all my friends would tell me is itsa bit like bad period pains. It wasn't! But i find all information empowering and want to know as much as possible, good and bad, so i can be fully prepared.

My 1st birth was awful, mostly due to bad reaction to pethidine and feeling totally out of control. But 2nd time was great, i was much more relaxed and mentally prepared, had a better birthing partner and I was chatting and laughing in between contraction right up until the last 10 mins when my waters broke and he kind of popped out with them!

Im now pg again and im actually looking forward to the excitement of contractions starting and knowing my babys on its way

I've had four. I really like the challenge of birth and feeling it all happen. Two of mine were very hard (big babies, took a long time) but even so it felt great.. The other two were really great experiences.

I agree there should be more positive stories but I find that other mums who have less positive stories get angry and hurt and accuse me of being smug for having good births. Good births do nothing for your sense of solidarity with the majority of mums.

what a shame spidermama...i found that sharing my positive birth with my friends was lovley..they knew how much i wanted a good birth this time and were happy to rejoice & relive it all with me....! it is a shame that could be seen as smug.....but i think the positive needs highlighting .... i'd rsther be accused of being smug than keep my story to myself....!

Lulu I try to tell my stories to friends who are pg for the first time as it's welcome relief to hear positive stories.

It's the mums who've had traumatic or highly medicalised stories who don't want to hear mine. I suppose it's understandable. I've been at yoga classes, M&T groups and post natal groups where women are devouring each others stories of horrendous and traumatic births and when I tell mine they literally glaze over. It's like I'm an alien.

isn't that a shame--- i had a medicalised birth first time,..and was desperate to hear it could all be ok!!

oooh great thread! I heard (mainly) horror stories about 18 hour labours ending in emergency c-sections so i was apprehensive to say the least. In the end i had am amazing birth experience supporte by a wonderful MW, DH and mum - i used gas and air (loved it) and had a shot of pethidine. I pushed my beautiful son into the world on my own and it was the proudest moment of my life. DH told me later that i said the second it was over that i would do it again and i would - but not for a while. Holding my baby skin to skin and then BF'ing him was just magical - when i see the pictures i cry (altho' i didn't at the time)!!! I know i was lucky to have a great MW and lots of support and i don't want to appear smug but i was so nervous as a first timer and having a high risk pg.

lulumama - broody ... wash you mouth out!! xxxx

you can be my doula when i have number 2

Yey love this thread. Although DD1's birth was tramatic, as I was induced and she used me as a toilet. I had an epidural that wouldn't work so ended up with a forceps & spinel block. I'm the biggest wimp ever with such a low threshold but to know that I went through that and survived also to produce such a gorgeous little girl at the end of it was extremely empowering, so I did it all again with dd2 also induced (a little frightened that time) but it went amazingly smooth, so can't wait to do it again in 8 months time .

thanks TM!!! broody...don't tell my DH!

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lets get to at least 50 messages re positive birth experiences!

TIA!!

Having DS3 was a fantastic experience for me, feeling my baby come out was brilliant (and yes I do really mean that!) DS1 and DD2 were both emergency caesereans .

24 hours labour with gas and air and pethidene, easy delivery with no stitches or tears, perfect

ds was quite a straightforward bith, didn't enjoy the experiece though, I felt a bit powerless.
dd's birth was a lovely experience, we had a very supportive midwife, who made me feel I was in charge of everything. baby came out after 15 minutes of pushing. I was over the moon. I think it also helped me the fact that I lost the bag of waters right at the end.

ds was quite a straightforward bith, didn't enjoy the experiece though, I felt a bit powerless.
dd's birth was a lovely experience, we had a very supportive midwife, who made me feel I was in charge of everything. baby came out after 15 minutes of pushing. I was over the moon. I think it also helped me the fact that I lost the bag of waters right at the end.

The birth of my fourth baby was amaaaaazing, born at home in a pool with my friend and dh supporting me and two lovely midwives. No pain relief so i was totally with it and I didn't need any stitches despite him being 10lb 13oz. It was all the more special as the previous two had been cesareans after my first 'natural' birth had left me very traumatised. I was on a high for weeks (still am actually )

Mum ,bless her always told me and my sisters that childbirth is unbelievably painful, but no one ever told me it would be such hard work!....but it is called labour is'nt it!

All 6 of my births were different, and all were painful. I'd still rather give birth than have a tooth out!

thank you all for these lovely & inspiring stories...!

keep 'em coming!

I'll add mine. Straightforward 8 hour labour for dd left me feeling like superwoman. It was at home in and out of a pool, using TENS, lots of breathing and counting to 3, just perfect. DP totally involved as the mw just sat in the background letting us get on with it. I'd love to do it all over again actually, and thinking about it all makes me want to cry - 2 years later. I felt so proud of myself, and dp went on to whoever would listen how great I was afterwards.
I am with spidermama on talking about this - I know to keep it quiet as any woman who has had a trauma doesn't want to hear as it sounds like I'm bragging. Also i don't want to sound too 'Earthmother', but it is simply the best experience of my life so far. And I was on such a hormonal high afterwards - wow!

I think that because the birth was all so fabulous it left me with the most amazing high for ages afterwards which helped me cope with the first difficult weeks of having a baby.

sad that having a positive birth and being proud of it could be seen as bragging...but still....that is a great story! you should be proud!