'Recovery time' after 1st birth - how long?

[Smittals]

Hello - just wondering how long it took you to feel relatively in control physically and back on your feet again after giving birth for the first time please? I'm due a couple of weeks before Christmas and wondering if I'll be able to cope with all the family visiting, feeling human enough to deal with Christmas dinner etc etc. Both Mum and MIL have already involved us in Christmas events, so I'm wondering if feeling worried (and, lets face it, harassed!) is just me being feeble - after all, they've been through it twice each!

i returned to work 3 weeks after the birth of ds1, was absolutely fine in under a week. ds2 was a different story, it was about 3 months before i could manage the 1 hour round trip to town and back. bad tear and nasty mastitis did not help!

Sleepfinder-waist cincher?Please explain what this is and how it helped get rid of your saggy tummy?And if it worked where can I get one?

waist cincher is support underwear - like a modern take on an old fashioned girdle I suppose. I got one for £17 from www.figleaves.com ( I think agent provocateur do one for £60 which has "pants" - but that is sooo expensive and the nylon pant bit didn't appeal)

I started with a size large for the first week and then moved to a medium size thereafter.

It provided back support as well as stomach support for me - and stopped that feeling you can get that all your organs are swimming around freely in a weird way.

hope this helps?!

DS1 was induced after 38 weeks after pre-eclampsia, I did the shopping on transfer to local hospital LOL ! In fact, I felt A1 after all mybabies were born, immediately- strange, coz I've been shattered ever since

Smittals, don't forget that 70% of babies are overdue! Your lo could be born dangerously close to xmas day!

Wow! Thanks everyone for a brilliant response. I think my official policy has now distilled into the following:

No plans shall be considered definite, all ideas & suggestions shall be subject to last minute change at the whim of post-natal hormone storm. DH to act as parents/inlaws buffer, Gatekeeper, and Chef-in-Charge, shall henceforward spend the next few weeks in assertiveness training practising the words 'we'll let you know when we're ready' and 'NO!'. Do Not Disturb sign to be made for bedroom door, Yale lock as optional extra. Stylish, comfortable, magically boob-leak-and-baby-spit-up-resistant pyjamas to be purchased for use during all public appearances for that 'nurture me I'm fragile' subliminal message. Total ban on any sentence beginning 'well what you SHOULD do is' or 'what I used to do was' or 'Don't you think it would be better for Baby if', likewise no Baby-Pass-the-Parcel - unless they are actually going to unwrap the parcel when the music stops and change its smelly nappy.

...think this may be the way forward?

And thanks very much to Scootermum for reminding me of what a lovely event finally bringing your baby home can be - bloody hormones, I welled up at my desk when I read your post!! Sniff!

Good on you! Maybe time to get you PJ's teflon coated or scotch guarded at the least! Heard a good piece of advice. Buy a nice dressing gown then you can wear it and feel half decent even during the day.

lol - sounds like an excellent policy !

good decision!!! hope your little one arrives safely and on time!! x

I didn't want to do anything for at least 6 weeks when i had my ds, and didn't have anyone visit for about a week. Do everything in your own time when you get there, and if you don't want to go somewhere/do something/cook/see anyone then don't feel pressured - it's up to you and you will have your baby to look after, more than enough to do! Enjoy your special few weeks however you like

I was in hospital for a week after birth of DS1. I think once I got home it took about a month before I was even getting dressed before dinner time... if at all
I would give yourself a break, and see if New Years would be a better time for a family get together.
Enjoy your new baby, and be as fragile as you can get away with. DS2 is now 13 months and I still got for a nap when he does if I can get away with it.

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!
i had my fourth on the 19th Dec 2005 and blithley invited the family for Xmas. I didnt have to cook or shop - we used a friends catering firm - I was really well looked after and it was still an utter disaster because of my hormones (and the baby being unexpectedly jaundiced and needing daily blood tests all over Xmas.
My dad stormed out on Xmas day, my dh threw my sister out of the house on Boxing Day after she told him to off
dont put yourself under unecessary pressure especially with your first

Your call, but OMG, I would cancel, cancel, cancel. If you're lucky and all goes well, maybe you just might cope with it. If you have a difficult birth then it will be pressure you don't need. We didn't come home from hospital for 4 days (after a 'natural' birth - ROFL) and it was weeks before I could cope with visitors. Any family members worth their salt should know that it's too big an ask.

Physically, everything was fine as soon as I returned home. But after dh and I had had visitors non stop for 2 weeks we just wanted to be on our own with our baby.
If you're planning to b/f it may take the first week to get comfortable with positioning and stuff - I used to find it easiest if I could see what I was doing - not good in front of visitors! Once baby learns how to find milk under layers of clothing things are much easier and now I'd feed in front of anyone.

Oh, and if both sides of the family don't get on like a house on fire - cancel now!

CANCEL!!! However lovely your mum and mil are they will FORGET what it feels like to have a newborn and to start bfeeding.

My very nice (normally) mil sat and had a cup of tea while I ironed two weeks after a c-section. They get tired too even with best intentions!

Can't one of them host for everyone and you visit if you feel like it? have fun x

Don't do it...DS was 4 2 weeks ago and I reckon I still haven't recovered , but I am very old .

Phew! I fell like lying down just thinking about it. I was so exhausted (and still am - DS is nearly 13 months) that the mere thought of even going out anywhere just 'did' me in. On the plus side, your energy does come back - but invest in that time as a poorly baby saps every ounce of the energy you've just gained in a few hours.

fwiw I think the feasibility of having people for Christmas depends not only on the birth but what kind of host you like to be. If everything has to be perfect and you verge on control freakery, (like me)you'll probably have a breakdown. If you can delegate and relax and you have guests who don;t expect anything frmo you, then it could be quite nice. If you enjoy cooking you could put plenty of stuff in the freezer (wintery warming soups, and a casserole or two) in October or November, then leave anything that can't be done in advance to dh/dp/the family. But do remember also that it's not just how quick you recover from the birth - you don't really get much choice about that - it's also about having a new-born in teh house who will utterly disrupt your sleep patterns. Somehow with no.2 you get over that, but with no. 1 it's shattering

I had ds on 14th Dec, but ono out of hospital day before Xmas due to infection. Emergency section, poor latching on etc. We had 5 guests on Christmas day plus my dad arrived day after boxing. And actually it was ok, dp cooked the meal with my mum which they'd arranged together & bought everything in advance. I didn't do anything all day except eat and breastfeed and that was all that was expected of me. Depends as much on the relatives as it does on the birth & baby. No.1 suggestion would be to wear pjs and dressing gown a lot if not ALL the time so people remember that you have just got out of hospital, if not had an operation. I personally didn't bond that much with ds at that age so found it perfectly fine to have distractions. We just appreciated all the help, really. I'm due on the 16th this time, so could well end up in same situation, we're having same number of people for Christmas and I'm fine with that. Whatever works for you, it's YOUR baby!

LOL, Smittals! Great style!

After DS was born, I felt very 'nesty' and private. dp and I spent hours just mooning around going 'aaaaaah' at him, and we didn't really wnat to be disturbed much. Besides that, I was exhausted through lack of sleep and very emotional and hormonal. If you are breastfeeeding you can feel a bit left out if people are getting rat-arsed and you are thinking 'how much comes out in the milk'!
I was no slouch: 2.5 weeks, drove to the coast for a w/e break with DS and DP (me driving). 5 weeks, took DS to my Mums a 3.5 hour drive away by myself, 9 weeks - took Ds to Greece for a couple of weeks. BUT no way would I have had a houseful of guests for festivities during that period!
And your baby will probably be at least a week late!

Haven't read thread but just wanted to say I couldn't have coped and I was a savvy older Mum.

I had normal birth and delivery with only small first degree tear. But got infected perineal haematoma and could barely walk till day 10; agonisingly sore nipples; dd was wanting to drip feed all night so I was sleep-deprived to the point of hallucinating.

Also felt incredibly territorial and needed my dh to myself. Would not have predicted this from my previous personality or relationship with my family.

After my experience, the only way I would ever go near someone with a two-week old baby is to

1. phone in advance,

2. arrive at the door with a helpful gift such as a casserole,

3. offer congratulations if the door is answered or

4. leave a note if it's not, and

5. beat it immediately unless begged to stay.

HTH

x

When I had DS3 on December 21st we went to MIL christmas eve, back to my mum christmas day afternoon and then back to MIL christmas day night, then back to ours boxing day.

NEVER AGAIN, if I did have another near Christmas they can all feck off!!

Had DS on the 4th after an em cs and stiches below from all the broddling about beforehand. We had 6 for lunch on xmas day and it was fairly easy.

Tbh it was 2 months later when I really felt too exhausted to entertain guests, or even the phone ringing for that matter.

With ds1 I was 16 days overdue, was induced and had an epidural, then was an emotional wreck for 6 months.

Physically I was ok after 2 months. The labour you have makes a hell of a differance to your recovery time.

As for Christmas dinner, if you enormously overdue you shouldn't cook it, if you are trying to look after a newborn you shouldn't cook it. Suggest if people want to come to you they are welcome to bring an apron and a veg knife.

Commint to nothing! And cancel people coming round!
1 - You might be 2 weeks overdue.
2 - You might have a C-section or a big tear/3rd degree episiotomy or lose a load of blood - I could barely walk for weeks with DD it was so painful and my blood count was so low, and with DS I could walk but was in agony standing still or sitting!
3 - It's chaos enough with new routine, new gadgets, breastfeeding, lack of sleep, midwives coming and going, cards and gifts and flowers arriving by the sackload, bounty packs and advice leaflets everywhere. You really don't want extra bodies and their belongings to add to it all.
4 - Just NO NO NO NO NO! Tell everyone you'll take each day as it comes, you're grateful for all offers and invitations, but ask them to bear with you. You might be fine - but you might not.
5 - PS - I thought I'd be superwoman when expecting my first - such an in-control, organised, multi-tasking individual was I. Nothing was going to stop me. Ha bloody ha!