'Recovery time' after 1st birth - how long?

[Smittals]

Hello - just wondering how long it took you to feel relatively in control physically and back on your feet again after giving birth for the first time please? I'm due a couple of weeks before Christmas and wondering if I'll be able to cope with all the family visiting, feeling human enough to deal with Christmas dinner etc etc. Both Mum and MIL have already involved us in Christmas events, so I'm wondering if feeling worried (and, lets face it, harassed!) is just me being feeble - after all, they've been through it twice each!

I think it really depends on your Birth and on how you cope with a newborn Baby in your life...you just don't know, iykwim....I left Hospital 2 days after es Birth and was out and about the next day...felt on top of the world...but then, I had it lvoely, my mum stayed with us for the first 5 weeks of his life and she did all the Household chores, so, I had time to get used to being a mum
If you do have the Christmas dinners at yours, I would suggest you make clear that everyone has got to help, or just say, you do it at yours next year...like I said, you just can't know yet how you will feel then

dd1-I felt like a bus had hit me ,pulled muscles ,backache,extreme soreness/bruising of fanjo although only slight tear ,labour appox 4 hrs 30.
if im honest i didn't feel well for several weeks.
dd2-i felt great other than the extreme after pains that no one told me about ,slight tear again but virtually no pain,labour 55 mins.
Was shopping in sainsburys with dp on day 2/3.

S*ht forgot to mention that although the second time round was great physically ,i did have extreme insomnia compounded by long standing prob i have.

Message withdrawn

My thoughts are that in some ways it will be nice to hve it at your house cos you have his/ her bed there, and you have somewhere to disapear to if you need to, BUT no way should you be doing the cooking and prepartion.

If someone else does the cooking/ cleaning and you host it could be really nice way to do it, and there will be lost of people to pass the baby round to so you actually get to eat a hot meal :-)

put it this way - there will be lots of other christmases in your life. this will be the only time you will EVER get to spend alone with your first child. I woudl cancel. But then I am just anti-social and selfish

I would cancel arrangements, or at the very least tell people to expect you if they see you; hopefully you will have a nice easy labour but even if you do, you will have a 2 week old baby to contend with, maybe screaming the place down with colic as many babies seem to do; not a recipe for a happy, relaxing day for you really.........and if you have complications or a difficult time I think it is highly unlikely you will have the physical or emotional stamina for a family christmas. Sorry if this sounds negative.

It's just such a major, major life change and I for one felt knocked for six and unable to concentrate for long enough to even watch a film or read a mag for weeks!

ooh, but yes as dreamteam said, if people are coming to your place prepared to do ALL the work, and let you disappear to bed for a kip or a feed whenever you fancy it, then that may be fine - depends on your family really......

First time I was up and bouncing within 48 hours (honestly) - but DTDs were only 2lb - mentally I was exhausted.

Second time it hit me soooo bad - 2 weeks later I was still waddling round gingerly.

Hi Smittals. Have read this thread with interest. I'm due mid-October and we're planning a quiet Christmas at home (just us.) Maybe I'm being lightweight, but I didn't want to plan a load of visitors just in case. I'd say go with what you feel and don't let your mum/MIL make the decision for you. I'm taking 'Oh we didn't make a fuss - we just got on with it,' to mean 'it was bloody awful, but I can't honestly remember.'

sorry if this sounds negative but i had my dd 4 weeks ago and i still wouldnt be up to christmas and lots of visitors! i did have a difficult birth and was in hospital longer than normal but am finding it difficult even now. please think carefully before you go ahead and have so many people - you would not be being feeble if you cancelled.

good luck!

Physically probably about a week due to stitches, like someone else on here said didn't walk far for 10 days ... sofa, bed, loo, etc. Emotionally I was bad for ast least two weeks and possibly further as had trouble with dd latching on.

Depends on lots of things really for me i'd say no i had MIL and her partner and SIL one afternoon when dd was 3 days old and after 2 hours i couldn't cope with the cooing and "oh shes got such and such eyes, oooh she likes you doesn't she" sick bucket please. Have to say when they said they'd take DH out (without me) for lunch because who looked tired I nearly screamed. Thankfully DH knew better than to accept that offer.

Think as others have suggested on here if your family are prepared to come and 'muck in' so you can have a rest then go for it but if they are expecting the hand foot and finger treatment then a big no from here!

Depends on your family but, aside from the physical issues, I would find it too intrusive. You may not feel like passing YOUR baby around various family members for a a cuddle whenever they request it. I definately would not do it. I feel the first few weeks are a very special time for you and you husband to enjoy in your own way. You will regret it if you look back and feel that it was taken over by others, however well-meaning they were.

I would certainly not be ready to cope with Christmas dinner two weeks after giving birth. You must give yourself time to recover, otherwise recovery may be delayed. In many cultures they have a confinement period after giving birth, and that sounds like a great idea to me. It took me three months to recover physically from blood loss during a home birth.

have not read whole thread, but I was due 26th dec last year, and arranged to have my mam and dad come around to cook for me. If I had baby, then they would pamper me!, if I did not have baby then ditto, and If I was in labour they could look after dog!! As it happened dd came on 9th January, along with episiotomy,epidural,stiches and infection!!! but I was mucking my 2 horses out and walking the dog just over week later, so I guess it just depends on what type of person you are.
My advice would be to do what YOU want to do, think about if you are still pregnant (usually would induce you 14 days after due date), you will be sick as chip, and find it very hard to do anything. If you have had baby, then do you want to have xmas day to your self with dh?
Or if you plan to breastfeed you could have family over whilst you do naff all and just feed baby?? But do not be afraid to say what you and your dh want. Its your xmas.

P.S Hope you lo comes on time!!- not nice being late over xmas and new year I can tell you

with my first i didnt feel right for months, i had had pretty bad tears during birth & painful stitches -he was 9lbs, i felt emotionally unprepared, i was living at home ,

my 2nd was born at home i had no tears, or stitches, i felt fantastic & was up and about within days,

id say it depends alot on the labour

kitty xx

I had ds on 25 December and was in hospital for 5 days afterwards. When I got home it took me another week or so to feel physically back to normal though emotinally was a lot longer than that.

After ds was born we

1 At 4 weeks old - Went to my parents (over an hours drive away) for Christmas dinner

2 At 5 weeks old went to my parents 50th wedding anniversary party - again over an hours drive away

3 At 6 weeks old - Went to the Isle of Man (a flight away) to visit elderly in-laws

4 At 8 weeks old - arranged a christening and party for when ds.

5 At 10 weeks old - Flew to the U.S for a 6 month stay. Though most of the paperwork was done before then we had to arrange a passport and visa for ds after he was born and also do all the packing and shipping.

It was in retrospect the busiest 10 weeks of my life. These were all things that I felt were unavoidable at the time for various reasons (mainly the fact that we were leaving for the U.S for an extended stay for dh's work) but if I had another there is no way I'd do so much again it was incredibly stressful and looking back on it not very enjoyable.

My mother who had me on 13 December same home on 23 Decemeber and proceeded to cook a Christmas lunch for 24 people (including handmade ravioli - a tradition with her). However she did pretty much collpase of exhaustion and take to bed on Christmas day afternoon.

You can do all these things if you have to but I would definitlwey plan to do less than more and if you feel like doing more when the time comes you always can.

Sorry should have said had ds on 25 Nov not Dec !!

lazycow - you don't live up to your name !

Sorry, have only skimmed the rest of stuff. I found that (after a fairly straight forward labour) that I felt fine for the first week or so but then the creeping death tiredness came over me! Don't put pressure on yourself to do ANYTHING! If they want to come round, they have to do all the work! After all is a privilidge to see DB! Had visits from PIL fews weeks after DD was born and found it majorly stressful as they all wanted to take photos etc and I was like "leave her alone!" Depends how relaxed you are about stuff. Maybe I'm just uptight but there we are. Could cope with it much better now but DD is 14weeks and no longer a newborn. Plus now not BF which was made a diff to me (but that's another issue entirely). I'd just be careful. I had alsorts of plans before DD was born and really, you just muddle through and take one day at a time. You should also reserve the right (if you decide to let them come) to cancel on the day or the day before with no questions or hastle. If it's just one of those days you need to be able to say, sorry, come another time.

Ah belgo but my name is my wish for myself and an indication of my true inner nature rather than a description of how I actually behave.

I have found that since having ds most of my definite lazy traits have gone but oh I soooo want them back. I am hoping they will come back when ds is older

I felt fine within a week and was quite happy to have visitors but if they expected me to be making them cups of tea and sandwiches they could forget about it. Having family around is great but only on the understanding that they fend for themselves or look after baby while you cook. Having said that DD was 6 months last Christmas and I almost flipped with MIL and FIL but only because unlike my parents they were not the type to muck in. All depends on your relationship with visitors and don't be afraid to lose it with them - you can always blame your hormones

3 weeks - in terms of the sense of a real physical recovery. (I'm 37 and this was 1st baby) At 3 weeks my stitches were gone, I'd stopped bleeding and could walk in a straight line (instead of ambling to the right like a crab). My saggy stomach had retreated (thanks very much to a waist "cincher") and I was tired but clearer headed. I was also physically ready for sex! (psychologically I was ready from day one but the above physical restraints stopped that...)

In terms of dealing with relatives - I'm never ready for that and having a baby is the perfect excuse to keep people at arm's length!

It took me 1 week to physically recover enough to do most everyday things, but at least 2-3 to feel close to normal. Emotionally at least 2 weeks. But for me the problem would be having loads of people around when you just want to be with your baby. I personally didn't want anyone holding my dd for too long in the first few weeks. Those first days are precious and I would really regret not having devoted myself 100% to dd. Besides, if you plan to breastfeed, you'll spend half of your time (literally), sitting in a sofa, with your boobs out, with a drink and some food (that hopefully someone brought for you), watching telly or staring at your lo!