Cardiac arrest during elective caesarian section. Nevergoogle in need of a bit of support.

[nevergoogle]

DS3, who is a lovely bundle of loveliness, arrived by elective c-section a week ago.

For unknown reasons (so far) I had a cardiac arrest during the surgery where my heart slowed to a complete stop. I was resuscitated with CPR and adrenaline before surgery was completed and I was transferred to intensive care. All tests so far point to an otherwise healthy heart. (Usual obs monitoring, ECG's and US)

In time I will be having follow up input from cardiology/anaesthetics/obgyn/perinatal mental health team/intensive care psychology. I'm now home wearing a 24 hour heart trace.

We haven't announced this in RL (apart from close friends and family), so if you know me please be discrete, we're still getting our heads around what happened.

But just WTF? How do I process this? How do I rebuild myself, DH and I feel completely steamrollered. All the while DS3 is BFing on demand 2 hourly, and I have all the usual c-section recovery to contend with. The other two children aren't aware but are starting to question why I keep crying and me saying I'm just so happy to be their mum is being met with .

I have zero concentration, tv/radio/music is just noise, I can't face phonecalls/visitors and apart from a birth announcement on facebook I just can't do it. I'm not even sure i'm ready for this thread so may bow out if it gets overwhelming.

On the upside, DH and I are being spectacularly kind and patient with each other and the children. We are having lots of quality time and keeping life simple and there is an atmosphere of calm in between my moments of despair and sobbing.

Anybody been through similar?

No advice but still here x

Your baby is beautiful Nevergoogle. I'm sorry you're having to go through this though.

Kerrrist, nevergoogle, how bloody terrifying for you.

Congratulations on your baby

Am so sorry to hear that you have been through such a rough time Nevergoogle. It sounds like you are being extremely well looked after and followed up. Be reassured that nothing has been picked up on your ECG& 24hr tape. It is VERY reassuring that they are now looking at a Reveal device. Hope you are getting some sleep and your baby boy is gorgeous!

Hello nevergoogle. Gosh, you've really been through it. Have PM'd you. One foot in front of the other. X

Well I don't know about you, but my indicators of achievement 3 weeks post section woudl be , roughly

Has some sleep
Taken meds, painkillers, iron tablet etc etc
Eaten something
Fed large greedy baby many times
Brushed teeth and hopefully had shower
Dried stiches with hair dryer
Changed endless ST
Maybe got dressed in joggies and old t shirt
Done a poo without crying

That's after a common or garden section of course,no melodrama. So you get extra brownie points for that .

Have completely taken to my bed in between feeds today feeling in need of a complete recharge after a weekend of being polite to PIL's and meals out. (alternative to hosting meals for everyone and having the house trashed, also they paid).

Feeling completely 'spent'. Very low.

But yes, showered, teeth cleaned, clean clothes, food all taken care of too. Am mastering the art of the laundry and dishes husband prompt from my position on the sofa where 'monster munch' keeps me hostage.

I know i have the resilience to recover from this. I just do. Always have. And take inspiration from what i've seen others come back from. But you know, I'm tired of life being so hard. It's hard work picking yourself up again time and again ready for the next time that the rug is pulled from under you.

Reminds me of the first time I ever went surfing. Barely upright again from the last wave before the next one bowls you over and you're wondering if you'll ever get to the point where you're actually surfing.

And meh, my wetsuit doesn't fit anymore.

The sea round here is still a bit cold , best wait till august or September before you even try n get back in that wet suit. Or you could just buy a better fitting wet suit.

Big HUg and some more virtual biscuits winging your way.

Thanks UniS.

My wetsuit was a boys age 16. It will fit the boys before it fits me again.

Eating out and being polite to anyone is just too demanding after what you've been through. It sounds like you need emotional and psychological space to recover. Is there anyway you can get this for yourself?

And the complete weariness isn't surprising either. Processing shock and grief is very very tiring. Can you have Dh fend off visitors for a while ?

I think You need to save your physical energy for feeding monster munch and your emotional energy for being nice to the other children. You don't have enough to spare for other assorted friends and relatives, who are old enough to wait until you re feeling better.

Too big wetsuit leads to flushing

they've gone now. kids back to school and DH at work.

just me and the baby today.

i'm planning a pyjama day with lots of sleep.

That's sounds like an excellent plan. When I'm traumatised I need lots of alone time to process it . Running, painting and gardening are my things. I can cope with the radio but not the tv or music or people. My DH needs to sleep a lot.

You need to find what works for you . Singing, meditation, walking in the countryside, baking, knitting, yoga, surfing , reading, whatever . Obviously it helps if you can do it with baby in tow, so surfing not ideal just yet

It's hard to give yourself permission to do this kind of stuff. As soon as you are physically recovered, you feel that you should be cleaning cupboards or scrubbing floors or something . But you need to allow yourself time to heal mentally and emotionally too .

I hope you had a peaceful day and monster baby let you sleep a bit

my amazing friend arrived last night. i went off to bed at 12 after a feed and when I woke at 4, I found her awake still cuddling the little guy who was fretting every time she lay him down. he jsut wanted cuddles and she obliged.

he then fed at 5 then we all got back to sleep.

so 4 hours sleep and i feel good again today. company does really help. it's possible to feel very alone at night with a baby. it was lovely last night to have someone with me until the midnight feed.

for your good friend

So pleased you have a good friend there.have your older dcs settled back into school?

Hi
I'm having a csection next week and have been doing bit of research on possible complications such as this. I don't know if it helps but apparently cardiac arrest occurs for 1 in 2000 c-sections. So I think you were just unfortunate. The following stats are on the NHS website for csection complications:

Bladder infection 1 in 8
Anaemia 1 in 10
Womb infection 1 in 25
Surgical complications (such as damage to bladder) 1 in 300
Hysterectomy 1 in 300
DVT or pulmonary embolus 1 in 300
Cardiac arrest 1 in 2000.

So when you consider that there are around 200,000 babies born by c-section each year, that means 100 women will have a cardiac arrest- that's 2 a week in the UK. I hope these stats make you feel less alone, and that other women have gone through the same thing as you. I'm sorry for the trauma it's caused you. Big hugs and I hope you feel better soon xxxx

That's interesting.

Oddly, the risk of early onset group b strep infection that DS1 had was also 1 in 2000.

not sure how i feel about being the 1. twice!

yup, older two all back to school. I've even managed to go along for the school run twice to let them introduce their baby brother.

cannot wait to be driving again!!!

School run already!!!! You sound like you are doing much better than I was after a normal CS on third baby < irritated >

Next thing I shall have to step away from this thread as you will have turned into wonder women and thrown a dinner party for 10

Re odds -maybe you should but a lottery ticket??

glad you're getting support, wishing you a speedy recovery.

Can't imagine the scare you've had. I agree with a previous poster, I'd be vague but put it out there that there were complications & you're having to take it easy. Take time to heal,in all senses.

What am amazing friend xxx

Have my first bunch of flowers

I'm sorry this has happened to you xxx