Very much looking forward to birth!

[Snowlet]

Right, let's fill this thread with positivity.

I feel empowered, educated, calm, at peace with what my body was born to do and ready to not feel like a truck anymore! (which is so sad because I'm only 29 weeks)

Whatever we'd like our birth plans/preferences to be, whatever choices we make, I'd love for every woman to feel that they are HERS, that she is powerful and that her wishes are important.

It does matter what you want, you should picture your 'perfect' birth over and over again and you can't receive what you don't ask for.

So then, is anyone else looking forward to labour and birth as the unique, life changing experience it will undoubtedly be?

Amrapaali when I say it should be good, I mean that we shouldn't have failing or inadequate hospitals - not that they don't exist. I think we would all agree that women are entitled to good care though of course we know that they don't always get it. That's what I meant anyway.

I'm also not in favour of 'chanting be positive' and blindly ignoring bad experiences. I have said over and over that it's important to combine positivity with being fully informed and educated about childbirth, which includes how and why things can go wrong.

I really don't think I have been as dramatic as the posters who introduced the idea of women dying in childbirth, which I thought was a bit extreme in response to a healthy pregnant woman in 21st century Britain anticipating a good birth.

I guess a book called "The bumper book of pretty OK birth stories" wouldn't be a best seller... or would it? :)

But the OP has made some pretty naiive assumptions

"you can't receive what you don't ask for.

So then, is anyone else looking forward to labour and birth as the unique, life changing experience it will undoubtedly be?"

And in her naiivity also suggesting that if a woman's birth didn't go to plan then she is somehow to blame.

I don't think birth itself is particularly "life changing" - motherhood is, but when we are pregnant withour first we tend to focus on birth as being the end of the process. When in fact it is just the start and ultimately it doesn't matter how a baby arrives as long as everyone is safe and healthy.

Ooh, Squizita that's just reminded me of a book I read before DC1 that I really liked, might be just the thing. It's called Stand & Deliver, and other brilliant ways to give birth, by Emma Mahony. It's been a while since I've read it but I seem to remember it has chapters of peoples experiences of lots of different types of births, from c-sections to water births, to inductions etc. I probably still have it somewhere, will see if I can dig it out.

I don't agree that the OP has been naive.
I don't agree she has suggested that if a birth doesn't go to plan then the woman is somehow to blame (seriously, where has ANYONE said this??!)
I do agree that motherhood is life changing but I don't agree that the birth process doesn't matter as long as everyone is safe & healthy. It mattered a great deal to me.

Thanks for the tip BamBamb! Will check it out!

Squizita the Ina May book has a range of birth stories - it's obviously a book with a big emphasis on natural childbirth but what is interesting is that all the women approach birth positively and without fear - some have long, exhausting and painful labours and others have an easy time. A couple need to be transferred to medical facilities. It's not balanced; it's very much angled towards natural birth but that doesn't mean the stories are all blissful and wonderful.

Atthestroke I think the OP is right that birth is a pretty unique experience and it is something special. It's certainly very much the focus for a first-time pregnant mother and I wish there was a bit more preparation for life with a newborn - antenatal classes tend to stop at the birth!

I really don't see that she implied that a bad birth is the mother's fault though, I just don't think that idea is in her post at all. When she says you can't receive what you don't ask for, I think she just means that if you think a good birth is impossible then your fear and stress will mean you don't enjoy it however it turns out. It doesn't mean 'positive thinking=great birth".

Thanks Jelly :)

'Stand and deliver' is brilliant.

I have had one 'not to plan' birth (prem sick baby, every intervention going, touch and go as to wether she lived) and two 'idealistic hippie home births'. Actual labour was pretty similar each time, an astonishing roller coaster of all kinds of stuff. I quite enjoyed labour.

The difference was once the babies were born, between being handed a healthy wriggly red thing (or picking one up myself!) and DD1 being whooshed away for medical care. Labour is just something you have to get through, having done it does make me feel like a badass though

I think each one of us is reacting to this thread in a very subjective way. We read things into it based on our experiences or our hopes for the next birth.

"The op wanted to hear about the good experiences that mothers giving birth have had." (she didn't). "If a woman's birth didn't go to plan then she is somehow to blame. " (OP didn't say that)

Maybe it is time to step back from the thread for a bit. But before I leave, I also want to say that urging a naturally cautious and probably a pessimistic, fearful person to "stay positive" does sometimes put undue pressure.