What words, phrases or ideas REALLY helped you during labour?

[Gemmitygem]

Am trying to collect a list of motivating phrases or tips or mantras which people have found to be effective, or any visualisations (e.g. waves, marathon running, mountain climbing etc).

Have heard ones like 'take each contraction as it comes and imagine it's the last', a woman who swore by encouraging her cervix by shouting 'You go, cervix!' and saying 'open, open' etc.

or it could be what was most encouraging that your dp/dh said to you, or midwife, which really urged you on?

Very grateful to know what worked for others! (first baby due in 12 weeks and want to be prepared)..

You know what youre getting in the end.........! Thats all that got my through (3 times). It does pass, it is bldy painful, but it does pass and God is it worth it. Tbh nothing anyone said helped me, I tend to close off a bit. Having a dh who fell asleep didn't really help mind you. All the very best.

The waves idea helped me in earlyish labour.

I had my personal stereo on with some chillout music (zero7 I think) and closed my eyes and imagined I was lying on a surfboard on a beautiful warm tropical sea next to te cliched white beach, palm trees etc. When the contraction hit was when I pushed my way out to sea and then the waves would gently wash me back to the beach. I found it really relaxed me.

Obviously this didn't help quite so much in the latter stages. Drugs did though

just being told i was doing well and that i would need another few contractions and baby would be born...

imagining that each contraction was opening the cervix this really helped as help me relax into the pain rather than fight against it, which i'm sure helped speed up labour. Also used laveder oil which gave me a smell to focus on. Gosh that makes me sound like a right hippy ! it did help though

GemmityGem, when I was having ds (my birth story here ) I found it very useful to repeat "calm and relaxed" whilst breathing through my contractions, and imagining the pain being attached to a thread that was slowly being pulled out of me. This was my third but my first without pain relief (had epidural with the first two). I held onto dh's arms during the contractions too, and generally he kept quiet (either that or I ignored him ).

Hope all goes well!

"Relax, relax, relax" said silently to myself as each contraction started. Trying to relax into it, rather than tensing against it really did lessen the pain.

DH really helped me with my breathing- he would do all the deep breaths that you're meant to do and i would copy him. if he hadn't have done that (terrible English-sorry!), i wouldn't have had a clue what to do! Apparently he was spinning out because he was breathing in some much oxygen.

Before the birth I spent quite alot of time thinking about those floods in Mozambique in 2000 - there was a woman who gave birth in a tree! and i kept thinking that if she could do that, surrounded by water, then I could manage to do it at home surrounded by DH and midwife.
I must confess that I didn't think about her during the birth, but DH did and it brought a tear to his eye!

I sat on a rocking chair for most of my second labour: when a contraction hit I would lean back and let my legs (and whole bottom half really) go floppy (plus shallow breathing) until the contraction had passed. Also sipped on water laced with rescue remedy throughout. It worked well for me - no pain relief needed at all second time around after a long and painful first labour.

the phrase fuck fuck fuck was to be heard as the head crowned
Nothing else was uttered.
I did focus on breathing deeply through contractions adopting a bent over /leaning foward against a wall but still with weight on ym feet, helped the contractions be absorbed by the rest of my body.
I basically entrustd my body to millions of years of evolutionary tweaking - figured it would do the best job it could, and it did
Power of postive thinking!

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For relaxing, I find thinking about water helps me. Might sound silly but I imagine a lagoon with a little waterfall and lovely cool water. It really chills me out, even better when you've got someone to spray some water at you

When I had dd, dh just used typical words of encouragement but said it in a strong and positive way IYSWIM. It really did help me. I remember telling him after she was born and I still maintain it made a hell of a difference to this day.

had no pain relief for last labour. (not my choice) so when it cam to pushing i was terrified. MW told me to sit still for a minute (haha) and think of someone i really didn't like and to push. It worked DS born 3 mins later

Oooh I might try that one TB

I had a fantastic midwife when I had DS (my second) -she motivated me no end by telling me how wonderfully I was doing, how I didn't even need her there as I was in control and doing everything right, how I was a natural and she wished all women in labour were as easy to be with etc.

Afterwards I thought "I bet she says that to all the women" but TBH, if she does its a good thing as it really made me feel positive and in control. The birth was a great experience (much better than my first) and was over in a couple of hours

all that really helped me was being left to get on with things - I didn't want fussing over (with respect of forhead/back rubbed etc), but, I found the m/w tellin me how far down Joey had come good cos I was then thinking it's gonna happen and i'm not pushin for nothing iycwim (althou that bit for me was v v slow)

agree with the end result making it all worth while and tbh the day after i'd completely forgotten all about it (althou that might have been the drugs! lol)

dh and i had practised an incredibly simple breathing technique - I was expecting to learn a Lamaze (sp?) style 'in for ten, out for eight, now pant for 3, star jumps for 14' kind of thing, but our v experienced antenatal teacher just got us to practice visualising something personally soothing to us (for me it was being on a river, floating downstream with no effort, riding above the turbulence sort of job) and to breathe so that each out breath was the same length as the in breath. we practised most nights for the last month, it was v helpful in getting to sleep, and i think it did help in labour, although i have to say the most helpful phrase for me was AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

I counted to three as I breathed out really, really slowly, over and over again during every contraction. It kind of broke the contractions up into smaller bits and seemed semi-hypnotic.

I think being told everything was going very well was a help too.

F)(k. F&*k really helped me in labour.

I had an 1:1 antenatal class in france and as I lay on the bed I had my inner thigh pinched hard for one minute as a practice for breathing through the pain and remaining calm! (I couldn't think how to say "Get away, you madwoman" in French.) When it came to my 2 labours EVERYTHING I had learnt in all the nct/antenatal classes went out of my head: first time was just long drawn out and noone said anything that helped (except, as I knelt up against the bed-head "DON'T SIT DOWN" when the baby's head was beginning to crown!). 2nd time, without pain relief, at home on the bathroom floor, convinced I was about to have the baby that second, my sister said "It's ok I can't see anything yet" and I just thought "You're lying". I suppose with all this ramble I'm trying to say that I don't remember any particularly useful comments from anyone else, nor mantras of my own!

Gem, if I were doing it all over again I would write all over my birth plan that I want the midwives involved to be encouraging and to keep remembering to tell me that I am doing well.

obviously it's good to have your own thoughts to sustain you but I have to say in my situation, the way labour went ended up stripping me of my ability to rely on my own resources - I badly needed help and enouragement. Won't go into all the details but mine was a very very long and painful labour (50 hours from start to baby). I think that this many hours without sleep hindered my ability to deal with pain, and as you know I'm sure all labours are different, some more painful than others - mine excruciating due to back-to-back baby....encouragement would SO have helped me....I think it's worth telling the professionals you want this, as although my DH and mum were there, tbh I think they were shocked and upset to see me in that much pain and were unable to be the ones remembering all the right things to say!

I just think as you never know what will happen during labour, it's worth letting others know what they can say to help if you need it. I'm sure your labour won't be like mine but to be totally honest I found the pain quite shocking and re-assurance and encouragement would have gone a huge way to help.

Don't mean to be scary here, and wondered lots whether to post this but just wanted to say this as it would have helped me to read this before I went through it!

the thought that my dh was booked in for a vasectomy

i read naomi wolf's book about birth. Which was very unhelpful as tbh she comes across as v. whiny (though not as whiny as me in labour). But there was one thing that really helped me. She quoted a midwife from Central America saying 'we tell women that in labour they need to be brave'. That's it. Helped me.

none of my words or thoughts are remotely repeatable on a public board.

gas and air worked OK though. better than motivational phrases for me.

my husband and my sis were with me in labour. My sis was really great because she was telling me exactly what was happening (she has had 4 her self) and giving me lots of encouragement. I think them just being there was enough. Must admit though i did not have my hearing aid in as it was sent away to be fixed so i was alot of the time in my own mind if you get what i mean. My sis and dh knew and had to really shout at times as i was not listening. DS arrived a couple of hours later with no pain relief