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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What words, phrases or ideas REALLY helped you during labour?

104 replies

Gemmitygem · 18/07/2006 06:55

Am trying to collect a list of motivating phrases or tips or mantras which people have found to be effective, or any visualisations (e.g. waves, marathon running, mountain climbing etc).

Have heard ones like 'take each contraction as it comes and imagine it's the last', a woman who swore by encouraging her cervix by shouting 'You go, cervix!' and saying 'open, open' etc.

or it could be what was most encouraging that your dp/dh said to you, or midwife, which really urged you on?

Very grateful to know what worked for others! (first baby due in 12 weeks and want to be prepared)..

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mrsdarcy · 18/07/2006 19:12

I closed my eyes and with each contraction visualised a flower opening.

When I had my first, he didn't make any noise when I'd delivered his head, and I remember thinking "oh, it's dead...". Apparently DS1 was looking around and was just fine.

With DD, I wrote on my birth plan that I wanted them to talk me through what was happening as the baby was being delivered - eg "the baby's looking around, she's sticking her tongue out" or whatever.

drosophila · 18/07/2006 19:29

After each contraction I thought 'thats one less contraction' in other words getting closer to my goal. I heard that in a Hypno CD.

maddiemostmerry · 18/07/2006 19:50

I didn't like anyone talking to me in labour either. I felt very turned in on my self and did get grumpy if my dh din't mind read my wishes at once.

Any repetitive phrases helped. With ds4 I kept saying, in my head "The pain won't get any stronger than this" and it didn't. With Ds2 I had been watching a Caspar Ghost video with ds1 and kept singing "Caspar the friendliest ghost, the friendliest ghost in town". It did help though.

mousiemousie · 18/07/2006 19:51

"Time for a caesarian".

Big relief.

tassis · 18/07/2006 19:56

I didn't want anyone talking/touching me either.

I counted through my contractions and sort of blew - as I counted I imagined my ds' birthday cake candles and us blowing them out together (man isn't that soppy!)

fisil · 18/07/2006 19:57

Word: "Bottom" - the midwife told me to push through my bottom (apparently I was doing it all wrong) - so I kept saying "bottom" to try and make it happen!

Phrase: "Call the anaesthetist" - although ds2 clearly heard me saying that and decided to race the anaesthetist into the room. Ds2 won.

Idea: I asked dp to get me my water. By the time he'd passed me the bottle and I'd taken a sip the next massive contraction was coming and I knew I wouldn't be able to swallow, so I spat it out. I know I could have turned my head - I knew at the time I could have turned my head - but who was it who was so slow passing the bottle? Who was it who put the bloody baby in there in the first place and was now flitting around the room while I lay there in pain? I feel that spitting water in dp's face really got me through the last few hours!

Blandmum · 18/07/2006 20:00

word - Epidural
Phrase - 'Yes you can have a section'
Thought 'Thank god for that!'

sobernow · 18/07/2006 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cam · 18/07/2006 21:18

GemmityGem
Hope we're not putting you off

WinkyGirl · 18/07/2006 21:20

During each contraction I reminded myself that I would never have to go through that particular contraction ever again.

And Sparklemagic is right. My labour was shorter than hers (33 hours) but it was the midwife and DH who praised me throughout that really helped. I couldnt have done it without their encouragement. They kept telling me how much of DD was out and how much longer it would take...

Good luck - its all worth it!

saadia · 18/07/2006 21:27

I found that breathing really consciously through the contractions helped a lot. Also I know it sounds corny but it helped to kind of mentally go towards the pain and embrace it.

cece · 18/07/2006 21:31

PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN as shouted at me by the midwife. It worked though

Original poster
Gemmitygem · 19/07/2006 04:14

oh blimey... I'm so scared!!!

But thanks for all the phrases etc; I think the waves one might work for me.

I am the biggest pain-related wimp ever (bit the nurse when being given my BCG aged 12, crawl round crying from period pains etc).

It's not so much the pain at the time but the thought of being put off having another one, or it triggering depression or something, as I'm very highly strung..

Would definitely go for the epidural but put off by the lack of mobility, risk of assisted delivery being higher, being hooked up to a million machines and (sounds ridiculous to say it) but really don't want a urinary catheter as have had loads of urinary infections in the past, plus weak bladder, and think it would make it worse..

All DH's friends' wives/girlfriends plus my SIL have recently given birth standing up/in heroic squatting positions/with no pain relief etc and this just makes me feel worse!

Also am going to give birth in Belgium where the two pain relief options are 1) the pool (which I will try) and 2) epidural. Nothing else..

So feel a bit caught between the ultra natural bloody agonising route, and the relatively pain free but scarily technological conveyor belt 'doctor knows best' route!

Ah well, still have 12 weeks to worry about this!

Will start practising the beach visualisations!

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 19/07/2006 04:48

When the time comes if you want pain relef ask for it, please don't try to be heroic. Each birth is different.

I began over contracting the moment they started which meant I was having full blown contractions with only seconds between them. I could not have endured this for 10 hours without pain relief until I was dilated enough to push.

Also when pushing the midwife was constantly saying how small the baby was and the consultant was getting exasperated that he wasn't just 'popping out'. After much screaming (sorry)and the consultant telling me to stop it, out came a whopping 10lb 4oz baby. The consultant then apologised.

Good luck and just rember we've all been there, every mother throughout history too.

BudaBabe · 19/07/2006 05:34

"You can have your epidural now"

Althouhg it did slow everything done and I may not have one if I do it again.

threebob · 19/07/2006 06:10

I chanted "this will pass, this will pass, this will pass" all through transition.

I also did interval training in the pool for 6 months prior to labour, where the instructor had us gently kicking for 30 seconds and then kicking as hard as we could for 30 seconds whilst remembering to breathe. When I was in the pushing stage I visualised doing that and it did help.

acnebride · 20/07/2006 11:12

blimey threebob. given the choice between six months of interval training and another labour i would have trouble choosing

Original poster
Gemmitygem · 20/07/2006 12:04

I've been turning on the shower full on cold and practising relaxing through it for 20-30 seconds to practise for contractions..

Don't know if it will quite approximate to the same thing, but can't fancy doing the holding an ice cube thing to torture yourself which they recommend in 'Birthing from Within'...

OP posts:
teabags · 20/07/2006 17:26

nothing anyone else said helped. I wanted silence and secretly hated DH, bless him, cheering me on as if he was at a football match! But counting helped. I counted in my head and it helped me focus and also at the pushng stage it helped me to really push through each contraction

Cam · 20/07/2006 19:36

Must admit when dh said "Well done" after a particularly long strong contraction I gave him the filthiest look. I was beyond speech at that point, being in the transitional stage.

Paid him back by pulling his hair while baby was crowning.

beckybrastraps · 20/07/2006 19:39

Whilst I was pushing out dd, and finding it a bit of a struggle, I said, as one does "I can't do it!" Mt dh said "I can't, I can't, you're always so negative"

I would not recommend it!

mummydear · 20/07/2006 19:43

When Dh tried to comfort me during painful contractions , just told him to F**k off and stay away from me ! that helped me I could bear him near me !

mummydear · 20/07/2006 19:43

Sorry should read ' couldn't bear him near me '

magnolia1 · 20/07/2006 19:53

'Don't pump the bed up while I'm having a Fucking contraction!!!!!'
Helped me through a particular bad one

eemie · 20/07/2006 20:27

Early stages - dh timing contractions and saying '45 seconds - 60 seconds' so I knew time was passing and the contraction would too.

Later - midwife telling me the baby's heartbeat was steady, she was coping fine, the heartbeat was moving down each time - giving me definite evidence of progress.

She said - 'incredibly calm baby, coping beautifully, just like mother really, it's a privilege to be here' - I'll never forget that.

DH saying 'I can see the head - dark hair'

No help at all - being told to 'push the pain away' - when I was almost at the end of my resources. Much better to hear that the baby was still fine and still on the way IYSWIM

All through pregnancy I thought that I could comfort myself in labour with the idea that it would be the end of my 'morning' sickness.

Actually after vomiting up to 4cm I forgot all about it - damn!