What words, phrases or ideas REALLY helped you during labour?

[Gemmitygem]

Am trying to collect a list of motivating phrases or tips or mantras which people have found to be effective, or any visualisations (e.g. waves, marathon running, mountain climbing etc).

Have heard ones like 'take each contraction as it comes and imagine it's the last', a woman who swore by encouraging her cervix by shouting 'You go, cervix!' and saying 'open, open' etc.

or it could be what was most encouraging that your dp/dh said to you, or midwife, which really urged you on?

Very grateful to know what worked for others! (first baby due in 12 weeks and want to be prepared)..

the only thing I could remember with DS2 was "you have to push through the pain". I can clearly remember thinking this - it's to do with doing something completely contrary to what you instinctively want to do.
Seemed to work for me though - DS2 came out with only 3 pushes

I told the anaethetist that I would snog him if the epidural took the pain away , luckily he couldn't speak much English.

I imagined that every breath I took in was blue in colour and I imagined pushing that blue breath down through my body and out through my vagina - weird I know, but it worked.

Also - and this is my top tip which sounds revolting but it REALLY works - whenever you need to poo from now on, practice 'breathing your poo out'. What I mean is when you normally poo, people tend to hold their breath and squeeze. Try not to do this. Try to take in a deep breath and as you push down, breath out and down relax your muscles. You will notice that it's much easier to poo - it may take a bit of getting used to but do it.

Then when it comes time to push your baby out, just remember what you practiced and you will be able to relax the muscles rather than tighten them. I had no pain relief during my births and just used these techniques.

Chanting marching songs through contractions. I walked or rocked through the contractions for most of the labour, and singing helped me keep rhythm and made sure that I kept breathing regularly.

Then, as things started to get intense, "This will end" chanted through each contraction, and moving the stress through the phrase with each repetition: "This will end ... This will end ... This will end ... This will end" etc. Moving the stress gave me something extra on which to focus. Again, speaking aloud in a controlled manner helped me to keep breathing and not gasp or hold my breath.

Something I found a huge help, when I started getting overwhelmed, was to remember that each contraction has a purpose and was bringing me closer to meeting my baby.

Gem,
In my first labour I was really wanting a natural birth (no drugs), so I went to A "Bradley method course". I would say most of it was a waste... but one thing got me through...
She said:
"When you can't handle it anymore, is transition!"

And it was true, when pacing around didn't do the trick anymore and I told my DH I was going to jump out the window, baby was crowning...

You will be fine!!!!

These really helped me:

• It'll feel like the baby is coming out of the wrong hole. That's ok, it's not, it just fgeels that way.

That one really helped as I felt myself tense and thought, 'oh, somethings wrong, feels like she's coming out of my ......oh yeah - remember what mum said, it's ok' and I untensed and had a good birth.

• Each contraction you get through brings you one step to that baby in your arms. It's one contraction you'll never have to have again. Imagine the contractions like a series of stepping stones, each one brings you closer to the baby.

• Keep calm. If you tense your face even then the rest of your body tenses and makes it harder for baby yo pass through.

I also kept thinking to myself 'it's gonna get a lot worse than this' even when it was really bad and that seemed to calm me. I kept thinking, chill, it's gonna get worse so deal with it, this bit's easy.

Loving joshandjamie's, that's a goodun.

these are great ladies, thanks so much! Will print them out and underline in fluorescent pen!

(yes, I was the school swot)

keep em coming!

I might still have the epidural though...

Yes, that bit when you just can't cope any more, when you want to go home, cry for your mum, don't know what to do, that is transition. But I didn't really recognise whilst amongst it, even with my 3rd - think you only do in retrospect.

a relaxed mouth makes for a relaxed vagina, can't remember where i read that but it helped me focus and not grit my teeth, putting all my energy into the pushing. it also helped that dh didn't interfere, he knows me so well and knew not to annoy me by touching me in any way what so ever. midwife was excellent too, just extremely encouraging, didn't talk too much, just said do what your body wants to do.

she looked RIGHT IN MY EYES
close up and said" you are doing so well"

she was really pretty a n nic elookign and that made a difference
oh and also ( ont thrid labour) " you knwo it will get worse then it will be all over"

Yes that was the phase diuzzybint. That;s what I was trying to say about relaxing your face.

Also - the best words said to me while giving birth - once head was out were "Don't push just pant" which is what I did both times and what i reckon made it poss to not need stitches.

You'll never have to live through that contraction ever again.

After 9 months, you're nearly there now.

and

F*g sht

only half an hour to go (when I asked how much longer after arriving at hospital in agony)
otherwise, I was in no mood to be spoken to

Nothing - I made DH and the midwife be quiet for most of it since everything they seemed to say irritaed the hell out of me. In the end I politely told them to button it!

for both labur and pushing i found letting my self zone out completely and jut breathing through the pain worked for me, went completely drug free.

however one thing during the pushing stage worked wonders, the phrase 'just one more push' from the midwife every time i had a contraction, it was a lie the first 20 times but it still helped me put every ounce of energy i had into each push rather than trying to 'save' my strength. part of me knew it was a lie but it really did help to think i was that close each time.

I hated anyone talking to me during labour

that's why i liked my midwife, cos she hardly spoke. i think she read me really well to understand how best to support me.

I didn't want anyone talking to me either - I even wrote it in my birth plan. My midwife literally sat next to me and very occasionally said: you're doing a brilliant job. You're going to be so proud of yourself. And that was nice - but otherwise she was just quiet - she didn't examine me internally once - didn't tell me 'you're now xx cms along' - she just let me get on with it so that I could concentrate on breathing in my blue air.

I didnt want to be touched or talked too. I would rather have been on my own somewhere cool and dim, but they wouldnt let me

I really dont remember much about the labours except that there was a poster of a new born baby on the wall right in my eyeline and everytime it hurt i would look at that picture and think 'its all for you'

I didn't want to be touched in labour, I just wanted dh near me and alert, so that I could hold his hand (hold? CRUSH! ) if I chose, or even just know that he was there if I needed him. But this was a baaaad mistake, as there came a point at which I should have got more help from him. And I think that this is one of the reasons that I had such a rough time with that birth.

Second time around, again I didn't really want to be touched, but when I got to the point where I needed more help I told dh exactly what I wanted from him, we tried different things with each contraction, and found things that helped me without me feeling too 'touched'. It also helped that I had put it in my birth plan that I wanted to minimise the number of internals, so, knowing that I wouldn't be touched intimately every couple of hours helped me to relax. This birth was a completely different experience because I allowed myself to be helped.

The fact that it wouldn't go on for ever, and that I'd have a baby at the end of it. Obvious, but it helped!

I kept in my mind the concept of "cascade of intervention" learned at NCT antenatal classes.

So when I had been in labour for quite a while, with contractions remaining comparitively "gentle" and appearing not to be building up, the obstet. mentioned a cs could end up being a possibility.

I felt very strongly that my body was doing its own thing, I felt that my baby knew what she was doing and wanted to come along in her own time. So I didn't try to hurry things along but just stayed with it and gave birth standing up with the lights very dimmed and went home with dd about 6 hours later.

Was the breathing (in through the nose out throught the mouth) that I completely concentrated on. No mantras or anything. Dh did the breathing with me and midwife left us in peace and we didn't really talk in between contractions. Atmosphere was really calm and labour only 4 hours beginning to end. Did a lot of visualisation exercises beforehand though based on taking yourself off to calm place (me beach and waves as alot of people I think probably do) which put me in a chilled out frame of mind in the first place anyway.
Good luck!

The most useful thing I can actually remember is advice for the person supporting rather than the mother.

If they ask to hold your hand, hold your little finger back with your thumb so they can't get your whole hand, just 3 fingers.

The midwife told DH too late, I had already crushed his wedding ring on to his finger